The Fight For Freedom - Page 3

vovan · February 13, 2003, 23:15

Good stuff, Chris. It is great to see you delivering goods on a regular basis once more.

Lord Zalzabad · February 14, 2003, 06:46

Great Story so far! hope to read more soon.

ChrisiusMaximus · February 15, 2003, 08:57

Thank you for your kind words vovan and Lord Z, and all the other super dooper friendly chaps here have taken the time to post their responses.

to you all

Part 6 continued,

Throughout the morning the enemy had sent several smaller detatchments of men ahead to try and capture the sporadic groups of rebels, who continually harrased the main group, that were moving slowly towards Two Hills. Each time getting stung once again with more wounded or killed men from an unseen foe, in ambush after ambush. Although nothing as successful as the earlier stampede Liams men suffered no real casualties during this phase of the operation. They were simply too fit and agile for the communist conscripts to catch.

Jefferson and his men had successfully stopped the expected messengers from getting through to call in reinforcements, and as the enemy pressed on towards the village, his men brought up the rear to the scene of the battle already fought. His men assisted the Japanese caravaners to load all the equipment they could salvage, onto seemingly hundreds of packhorses and mules, nothing was wasted not even the many sides of beef.

There was indeed enough beef lying around to feed an army for months, and nothing was left to waste.

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"Comrade, I think we should stop sending men ahead and stick together. If we continue to send out small groups we will continue to lose more men. I think they are hoping we continue to do just that as I believe there only to be about 200 of them, and so."

"Nonsense you fool there must be more of them than that! look how many of us they have killed!! 200 men could not inflict over 500 casualties so easily!" Said Seargeant Gunnarson angrily to his Corporal comrade Mc Fee.

"You may be right Sir but I still think they want us to keep spliiting up, Im sure if we keep the men together we will be able to crush this resistance!" retorted comrade McFee.

"Tell the men to form up and await my orders, well what are you waiting for you insolent dog, I SAID NOW!!" yelled Gunnarson knowing full well in his own mind that McFee was right. "The next time you question my command Ill have you shot! do you understand me McFee?"

"Yes comrade," McFee said as he saluted and clicked his heels turning to go about his duties.

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Meanwhile sensing a change in his enemies tactics from his observation point, Liam ordered his officers to move all the men out imediately and head directly to Two Hills. He knew an all out assault against this force in the open would spell disaster for his men.

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Some time later on top of one of the hills over looking the village.

"Sir the rebels have all fled to the village, our scouts have estimated their actual number to be around 300 to 350 men armed with some rifles but mostly bows." Reported McFee.

"Comrade Sir I suggest we dig in here and wait for Artillery and reinforcements to arrive before we go in." Said comrade Wilson assessing the situation.

"Nonsense you fool we will attack imediately, prepare the men for an assault on the village NOW!!" Yelled Gunnarson.

"But Sir, shouldnt we at least wait until its dark for cover?" asked McFee.

Gunnarson swung around and punched comrade McFee square in the face," you dirty yellow coward!! you disgust me. You will go in the first wave." He yelled, spitting his words out with venom, "There's only 300 or so of them down there, it will be a walk in the park."

"Yes Sir comrade Sir please forgive me, I will go and prepare my men."

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The "Free Celtica" fighters were very relieved to to find that Scratch and his Elite Samurai's had arrived in good time for the coming attack.

The Communists had split into three groups of around 400 men each, and proceeded to attack the village from three sides. This was yet another fatal mistake by Gunnarson, yet again he had split up his forces. As they charged it became impossible in the ensuing chaos of battle for the three groups to stay in contact with each other.

Liams men aided by some of the villagers tackled the group attacking the northern perimeter of the village, and managed to hold them there for a while. Scratch split his force in two to tackle the other two groups attacking from the south and east roads into the village.

The hardened Japanese troops were crackshot marksmen and felled a great many of their prey when they unleashed their hail of lead. This initial exchange of fire cost the conscripts dearly, but on they charged and steadily pushed their way into the village. The fighting intensified quickly becoming hand to hand as all three groups converged on the centre of the village. The Japanese discarded their rifles and unsheathed their ancient ceremonial two handed Samurai swords, they began meticulously slicing their opponents into smaller pieces, Liam could not believe what he was witnessing.

"Thank the gods were not at war with these boys" he thought to himself, distracted for just a moment as he was he had not noticed the young conscript charging with his bayonet at his back. Whoosh came a sound straight past his left ear with a bright flash of steel, as he turned to see scratch split open his would be attackers stomach with a huge gaping slice of his sword.

"YAGGHH" cried Scratch as turned on his heels spinning his sword overhead in a full circle severing his foes head clean from his body.

"Thank you Brother!! you have just saved my life!!" panted Liam as he gathered himself from the moment.

"A pleasure to be of service my friend," said Scratch.

It was soon over as the remaining conscripts, around 700 men threw down their weapons and surrendered to their superior assailants. Comrade Gunnarson lay in a pool of his own blood missing his right forearm, lost amongst the littered body parts on the blood soaked ground.

The prisoners were rounded up and secured by the Japanese.

"Men of Celtica, why have you come to your Brothers homes and murdered our kin? Are we not all of the same nation? We have brought this fight to you because we could no longer stand back and watch while your superiors murdered our clansfolk!" Liam said to the prisoners. "we have decided to stand and fight the evil communist regime, there shall be no more unanswered crimes against our kin!! Your officers are all dead! I offer to those of you who have a conscience and a heart a chance to fight with us your Brothers, a chance to redeem yourselves before your gods for your sins against your Brothers!! To fight against this evil regime and its evil leader, Chairmen McGregor!!"

There seemed to be many of the prisoners mumbling to one another, many of these young men had been forced to join the army, and did not agree with what they had been forced to do.

"You will be taken from here to our secret base where any of you who are found to have taken part in the mass murder of the elderly and sick at the villages you attacked, will be executed. It would do well for those of you who have a conscience and are innocent of these crimes to hand over those responsible to us now, our leader will look more favourably on the rest of you I promise you!!" continued Liam.

The majority of the prisoners needed no second thought on this, and gladly handed over the guilty ones.

"Many of us were sickened by this and refused to have a part in the evil work of the C.S.G." said corporal McFee to Liam O'Brien.

"Good!! Good thank you my Brothers," the fifty or so men were handed over and marched out of the village by the Japanese to be shot by firing squad. "The rest of you are invited to join us, we will train you in the arts of guerilla warfare, and you will join "Free Celtica", ARE YOU WITH ME? WILL YOU RISE UP WITH ME? RISE UP AND FREE CELTICA!!!"

A huge cheer went up from all the men in the village, all the survivors of the conscript force agreed and took the oath.

"We swear, on our honour, before our brethren and our gods, that we will give our lives to "Free Celtica"!!"

"RISE UP!! RISE UP!!" Shouted Liam, working the men into a frenzy.

Comments and opinions will be greatly appreciated.

SKILORD · February 15, 2003, 09:08

Very nice, yes, it shall do. except:

Quote:

"Hmm, okay lets give it a shot, get the word out and tell the men to form up and await my orders."

This particular line strikes me as totally.... well it feels wrong. The Hmmm in front exhaberates (WOTD) this feeling.

Rareley will people surrender their ground in such a way, well no, they never do, it comes as a bit of a cop out from doing it right (I can't tell you what right is, you seem to have a good feel for dialouge other than this).

It is very good otherwise, but that line sticks out like a sore thumb.

ChrisiusMaximus · February 15, 2003, 09:16

Well I may consider changing that line after some thought and thank you for pointing that out to me

I was trying to emphasize the point that these inexperienced officers had no real idea of tactics and Gunnarson was unable to hear the wisdom shown by young McFee most of the time. I wrote the second line from McFee in that exchange to show his anger at Gunnarson's arogance and then tried to show Gunnarson's weakness in his command, does this help explain my choice of dialogue at all. Please consider this and tell me what you think.

SKILORD · February 15, 2003, 09:47

I understand why the exchange was there, i understand each part of it, but:

Gunnarson goes from "Nonsense fool" to "Hmmmm.... OK" (btw: have you ever seen the movie Kung Pow? they spoof Martial Arts films, and have a couple of places where such sudden altercations occur)

I can understand that though, as McFee's argument is solid and passes the acid test of arguments in that situation.

I don't understand where the "Hmmm... OK" comes from tho, it makes the dialouge seem weak, unrealistic, you rareley hear someone **** their head and say "Hmmm... OK", people generally aren't so rational about being disagreed with, and if they are they will probably say something along different lines than the afforementioned phrase. it gives the dialouge a tear there, a bit of total artificialness, Either dialouge flows naturally or the author's hand is apparent in the plot, which is not a good thing. It's something akin to potters leaving fingerprints on their peices by mistake, their are better ways to show it is yours than by leading it by the hand to where you want it to go, personnally i eliminated this problem by never knowing myself where my characters would go next.

It was exceptional other than that single line, my compliments to the author.

SKILORD · February 15, 2003, 09:49

it starred out by the way, another word for rooster or male organ which i used to refer to a tilting of one's head. With censorship like that soon they'll be taking out head.....

ChrisiusMaximus · February 15, 2003, 10:32

the censorship is getting quite ridiculous, I will ponder your remarks this afternoon while I take my wife shopping and thanks for coming back to me

vovan · February 15, 2003, 12:58

Yeah, that's a good installment. And I can see exactly what SKI means there, that part of the dialogue seems a little awkward. Yet, if you don't mind let me suggest a way to revise.

Make it so he says something to the extent of:

"Order the men to form up and wait for my orders... What are you staring at? NOW!"

Coupled with the second little piece of dialoge that would make sense, because you show this Sergeant as quite emotional to say the least. Such a man would never openly acknowledge that he was wrong, and say, "Oh, well, let's try it your way." He will rather do it that, but not give any credit to the fact that this was not his idea, and he was wrong.

Also, he is higher in rank than the comrades, it seems, correct? If that is the case, then the whole conversation seems a little too casual. After all, you would never say to your commander that he "might be right" especially such an impulsive one. Maybe McFee desereves a hit in the stomach for that? That would explain the cruel phrase I suggested: "Go tell the men <...> What are you standing there for? I said NOW!" while the poor guy is there bent over from the hit.

But that's 'nuff of criticism.

Overall, a worthy installment.

ChrisiusMaximus · February 15, 2003, 19:06

Right then SKILORD and vovan if you check you will see that I have changed the dialogue in question, upon reflection I think you were right SKI and thanks vovan for the suggestion of how to put it better. Anyway I now feel comfortable with the way it is and will leave it so but I thank you for pointing this out and I hope you think its an improvement.

vovan · February 15, 2003, 19:11

Great.

I am glad our feedback could be helpful in improving your story further.

SKILORD · February 16, 2003, 18:28

Much better, the patch is wonderful.

ChrisiusMaximus · February 17, 2003, 04:41

Thanks SKILORD and Vovan

there will be more posted in a few days time.

Has any body else read the last few parts ?

Lord Zalzabad · February 17, 2003, 05:26

I don't worry about gramical errors, (as I proberly have many in my storys), and it is good so far.

vovan · February 19, 2003, 01:48

I was just wondering if you were cooking up some more goods to come our way in your spare time Chrisius.

Don't want to rush you or anything - just checking on the progress.

This is one of the stories that I watch eagerly for a new installment every time I visit 'Poly.

Gustavus · February 21, 2003, 10:04

Read your story Chrisius! I think its brilliant.

Gustavus · February 21, 2003, 10:06

keep bringing more of it to us old chaps here on poly!

Easthaven I · February 23, 2003, 23:38

I must say, this is one story I come back to read everytime even before I read replies to my own story. I'm especially excited about the recent battle, and the growing power of the pro-free celtica fellas. You can never get enough battles

.

Keep 'em coming, bro.

Whoopish!

vovan · February 23, 2003, 23:41

Quote:

Originally posted by Easthaven I
Whoopish!

Second that.

Easthaven I · February 24, 2003, 00:24

LOL. Damn, they have smilies for everything!

ChrisiusMaximus · April 20, 2003, 13:30

Part seven To rescue a friend and a Brother.

Several days had passed since Kyle and his men had successfully defeated the column south of Newbridge. He and his small group of men had managed to enter Stockholm unopposed, and had lain low in an unused derelict factory whilst they gathered intelligence on the day to day routines of the local garrison and the cities prison.

"Tonights the night Brothers, after the prison guard changes at 11.00 pm a local sympathiser who works at the prison is going to unlock this gate at the south wall." stated Kyle

"How can we be sure we can trust this man?" asked Brother Campbell.

"There is no need to worry my Brother, I met this man when I was working in Stockholm with the local union leaders. In fact this man was at the demonstration the day our Brother Connel Murdoch was captured!"

"Still I hope you are right to place so much trust in this one man Brother," answered Brother Campbell.

later the brave group of Free Celtica's finest made their way through the shadows towards their rendezvous with danger. At approximately 11.10pm the gate in question swung open and Kyle's men made their way into the prison grounds. They had prepared well for this operation and split off in their small groups to their designated sectors of the prison complex.

"Remember Brothers speed is of the essence!!" Kyle said as they set forth.

The local man whose name was comrade Jones to those who worked at the prison led Kyle to the Govenenors office, Kyle kicked the door off its hinges and had his knife to the startled mans throat in seconds.

"Tell me where the prisoners from the riots are being held you communist pig!!" yelled Kyle at the Govenor.

"Never!! I'll never tell you anything!" cried the govenor.

"You two hold him tight, Jones grab his hand and hold it flat to the table" Kyle instructed his men.

Kyle took his knife from the fat govenors throat and cut clean through the govenors little finger on his left hand that was being held firmly by his newest recruit. Jones cringed at the sight of blood and relaxed his grip a little as the govenor screamed in agony.

"HOLD HIM STEADY!!" yelled Kyle at Jones.

"Yes Sir, I'm sorry please forgive me," Jones said as he recomposed himself and tightened his grip.

"Now you listen carefully to me you fat bas**rd, tell me what I want to know or I'll cut the rest of your fingers off!" Kyle said to his prisoner in a calm but menacing voice.

When the required information had been retrieved kyle put a bullet in the govenor for good measure and made his way to find Connel.

When the prison was totally under their control Kyle made an address to the assembled inmates,

"Men of Celtica we have come here to set you free from your chains!! will you help us your brothers to overthrow the evil Communist regime that has tortured you and your families for so long." A great cheer went up from around the men gathered, "Good we must act quickly before the city garrison is allerted to our presence, we must rise up together and Free Celtica!!"

Kyles officers issued out orders to all of the inmates and those who volunteered to head to the cities central square to stir up a riot headed off. Many of these brave souls would surely not survive the coming events and would be martyred by daybreak. the remaining inmates and the rest of Kyles force headed for the cities armoury setting fire to prison as they left.

the whole of the city seemed to erupt at the same time with masses of the populace joining in the ensuing riots.
It had not needed much of a spark to ignite the tinder box of resentment held for the regime after the brutal way they had put down the workers demonstrations the week before.

All this factored heavily in Kyles favour as he and his band of Brothers launched their assault on the cities armoury, meeting only very light resistance as most of the cities troops and been sent into the city to quell the riots. The armoury was stacked full of state of the art weaponary, kyle could not believe his luck.

He quickly issued his orders to his men and within a short time they and the former inmates numbering over 200 men had gathered as much as they could carry. Including 100 horses from the adjoining stables to pull the fifty pieces of Artillery that were ready to be dispatched to the English front, and vast quantities of shells and other amunition.

Kyle ordered his men to put the near dead son of his Chieftan Connel Murdoch into one of the covered wagons and to place a heavy guard around it to protect him as they made their escape. Kyles heart sank a little as he wondered whether his friend would survive the journey back to Newbridge his body shattered from the relentless torture dished out by the communists, but Kyle knew in his heart that Connel would never have talked or he would already have been dead.

"Move out men we must make haste before the sun comes up and reinforcements come to the city!" yelled Kyle.

Easthaven I · April 20, 2003, 23:12

Nice! Both our last updates are thrillers. Very well done chap. I've always enjoyed prison rescues and escapes, I've been planning on writing one.

You should of sliced off all the dude's fingers, but hey, it was well done. I would have gone off the charts with the little torture session there.

Anyhoo, keep those updates flowin.

ChrisiusMaximus · April 27, 2003, 07:49

Heres another map detailing the movements of all the various forces that have been in the last few chapters. I hope it helps with your understanding and enjoyment of the story.

ChrisiusMaximus · April 27, 2003, 07:50

Currently writing next two chapters and will post some more shortly.

Easthaven I · April 27, 2003, 15:04

Heh, I love maps. Very well done too.

vovan · April 28, 2003, 14:12

Hey, Chris,

I just wanted to let you know that I think this is some very well-written stuff.

Sorry, I was absent for a while, and now it takes time to catch up with all the stories that have been written / updated lately.

But any way, I still like the plot, and your writing style. The maps sure do add to the story a great deal, though if you could maybe convert them to gif or jpg format so that they would be visible without downloading, that would be awesome, too.

ChrisiusMaximus · April 28, 2003, 18:37

thanks vovan

I will have to get you to teach me how to do this.

Paulypav · April 29, 2003, 19:16

Chrisius,

Excellent stuff. Just read the whole story and can't wait for more.

ChrisiusMaximus · May 25, 2003, 14:46

Part seven continued, (sorry for the long delay

)

Kyle and his loyal band made their way back through the fields and hills, back to the safety of Newbridge and their Cheiftan Bryn Murdoch. The following evening they made camp about 25 miles from Newbridge, the men of Free Celtica took the time to start training the new recruits in the arts guerilla combat. Every brother was equally adept in the teaching of these skills, a testament to the excellent training they had received from Scratch and his elite Samurai.

It was late in the evening and the light had all but faded, Kyle was sipping some fresh wild mushroom soup by a glowing campfire. He felt a sense of coldness brush by him chilling him to the bone. 'What could be wrong he wondered ?', their rear scouts had not detected any signs of anyone following them and they were very well armed with the benefit of entrenched artillery pieces well dug in on their elevated hilltop.

Just then a familiar voice broke Kyle out of his train of thought " I'm sorry to disturb you Brother, you must come quick!!. Its Brother Connel."

"Whats wrong with him Brother ?" Kyle asked Brother Campbell in a worried voice.

"I think hes gone Sir, hes stopped breathing!"

"NNNOOOO!! NNNOOOO!! PLEASE NO!! By the great God Cernunnos tell me its not so!" cried out Kyle.

"Please Sir you must come quickly!" Campbell pleaded with his Chieftan.

"Yes yes, Im sorry please take me to him." Kyles mind raced back through all the years of his life, back through all the memories of childhood, memories of freedom of running and jumping and playing with his best friend Connel Murdoch. Memories came flooding back so strong he was sure he could almost touch them, galloping through the fields racing their ponies, stealing freshly baked cakes from their mothers kitchen, running and hiding in the forest stuffing their faces with wild berry pies.

Kyle hurried back to the covered wagon where Connel lay with Campbell, all his thoughts now turned black, he remembered that cold chill that seemed to pass right through. "Its true hes gone!" kyle said as he fell to his knees by his friends side.

"What shall I tell the men Sir ?" asked Brother Campbell.

"For the moment nothing, let them sleep theyve had a long day," Kyle answered, sobbing now. "Please forgive me Brother for crying but I loved this man as my own Brother! send a rider to Newbridge to inform Bryn he should be told."

"Please Brother do not let me stop you from grieving, he was a Brother to us all and one of the bravest men I have ever known! You stay here Sir and I will see to everything as you command." said Campbell with a tear forming in his own eye.

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The next chapter is still not quite finished and will detail what happenened to Brother Robert Jones efforts to rescue the male prisoners and the forthcoming events at Newbridge.

I apologise if anyone finds this a little dark, I couldnt find the right words for ages to describe Kyles pain at his loss, and I hope you think Ive done it justice.

Part of the delay has been this block with this single issue and of course the next chapter will also be emotional. Anyway as soon as its finished Ill post it thanks for reading and commenting.

Paulypav · May 25, 2003, 15:43

It was well worth the wait. It seems like everyone has found time lately to post their stories. I might actually be posting my first story soon.