The Egyptian Chronicles

The Bloody Baro · December 22, 2002, 21:15

Okay I've been playing a game as the Egyptians and I thought as I played that this game would make a great story. So I figured I'd post it here. Please let me know your thoughts on this. If it turns out to be a festering ball of puss I'll end the madness. Thank you.

Chapter One: A Puppet Government

They say that Egypt has and always will be run by Cleopatra. I'd like to find those people and just beat them over the head. Cleopatra's just their to please the masses while I kick the a**es. Ever since The Great Revolt, to our present glory, I have and always will, control the Egyptian Empire.
My name is General Akhenaten.

ChrisiusMaximus · December 22, 2002, 21:25

Well its hardly a Baro full of story yet but pray do continue and I shall tell you what I think!

unscratchedfoot · December 22, 2002, 21:57

Good thing its a long weekend here because I would never have been able to finish reading all this in only two days. It reminds me of the longness of the 12,000 page document Saddam sent the UN for some fun before bedtime reading.

The Bloody Baro · December 22, 2002, 22:13

Chapter 2: The Conspiracy (Part a)

For about 3500 years our people were content to let the "Queen" rule our great nation. Expansion contiued at an impressive rate. Soon nearly all of of the Egypto-continent lie under the influence of Cleopatra. The people had iron, horses, and gems. So some people said "What more do we need?" But there was a whisper that the outlying cities were not paying their full taxes. Cleopatra was content to just let the people build courthouses. She even made a summer palace in the city of Giza. She assumed this was enough. It may have been enough for her, but it wasn't enough for me or the people.

The science advisor had annouced one day that a new form of government had been discovered, a Republic. Where the people elected representives. Cleopatra just laughed and said "What? And give up my power?" So the subject was closed. Or was it?

As I walked through the marketplace of Thebes looking for some Gems to buy my wife for our anniversiry I heard some men in a dark corner whispering.

"I swear if Cleopatra continues on like this we're going to revolt! She cares nothing of us! There must be some way to put a more inteliingent person on the throne or maybe we could have that Republic that is always being mentioned by mystics and prophets are always talking about."

"Quiet!" hissed the other nervously. "if any of the military hear about this we're finished!" I walked over to them. The terror on their faces rose as fast as their heads to look at who was there.

"Don't even bother." Both looked ready to run. " Now what is this talk of revolt?"

"Well uhm sir, we were just saying, I mean to say that-" murmured the second man.

"Cleopatra doesn't give a damn about us!" piped up the first. The second man slapped himself on his head as though the other had just told the captain of the guard that he was having an affiar with his wife.

"Do you think that the people would back a revolt." Both looked puzzled by this question however the first chipped in "Not a day goes by that at least 100 people complain in this city alone!"

"Thank you gentlemen. I will contact you later in the month." I walked home with thoughts of power and glory in my head.

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I'll write more later. Right now I'm a little tired so I can't write any more

The Bloody Baro · December 22, 2002, 22:15

Well unscratchedfoot I'm not a psychoatic mad man who sends 12,000 pages of spam to people.

ChrisiusMaximus · December 22, 2002, 22:18

Oooh the beginnings of revolt, looking out for more

ChrisiusMaximus · December 29, 2002, 09:56

Still looking out for more!

The Bloody Baro · January 12, 2003, 01:16

Chapter The Conspiracy (Part b)

I sat at the head of the long polished oak table where the generals for the Army, Navy, and city garrison commanders sat. The monthly meeting of the army was upon us. Cleopatra thank (the gods) had decided that a hot bath was more important.

I allowed the garrison commander of Memphis to open the meeting.

"My report is that there is considerable unrest in my city and in reading the preliminary reports from the other city garrison commanders there is also considerable unrest there." I saw my oppurtunity and took it. "I suggest we treat this by-" I cut the commander off

"Have any of you considered WHY there is unrest? I mean honestly Cleopatra hasn't attended a meeting of domestic policy for nearly 100 years! The people feel as though their words are falling upon deaf ears!"

" What are you trying to say General Akhenaten?" inquired Colonel Methantuc, the garrison commander of Giza.

"What I'm trying to say is that if the people would have a voice in the government then we could devote more troops to expansion and exploration."

"Fine. Grab some peasants and bring them to Cleopatra and us." sighed Methantuc.

"I ment a PERMANENT voice. This Republic idea is said to bring more productivity. Meaning more research into better weapons (Major Hathaton commander of the experimental weapons brigade looked up) broadening commands,(several lower officers seeking promotion heightened their attention) and general ease of command."

"What you are suggesting could be constructed as treason." hissed Methantuc.

"And who usually takes care of traitors?" I snapped back. "US! If we said no more, who would oppose us. We wouldn't need the support of the people. But we do so, thats sugar on the cake! I have some contacts of the people. What I propose we do is this..."

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Thats it for now. Next part soon.

ChrisiusMaximus · January 12, 2003, 13:19

Its interesting but would prefer it if you could post longer chapters however I will keep looking to see if you have added some more.

gooberboob · January 12, 2003, 15:32

Keep up the short chapters, you make me look good Baro!

Oh, and try to kill shaka somewheres in here too.

(Shaka): HEY!!!