When playing a multiplayer game the units and other commands take 2-3 secounds to respond this is very anoying and the game dosn't do it in signle player
can i fix this or is it just going to be somthing i have to live with?
Try to find players with a ping lower than 200 (so those that live on your continent and have cable/adsl). Do not play to large maps and with to many players (two or three is my max).
If that is not what you want you will have to live with it or wait for the next patch which hopefully solves this.