Crusader's Legacy

SKILORD · January 29, 2003, 19:24

This story is apparently different from it's CFC brother. I will include a link here to expedite any reading of both sides of the story. The two stories chronicle the same history, but differently. This will be fun....

The Civfanatics Version

The stones stung his flesh, they broke his bones, he held a flimsey arm up to protect himself as he fell. He didn't know where the stones would stike next, he was blind.

"In the end..." he wheezed, the words that had earned him the punishment.

"Shut up Old man! many Gods we have, many shall there be, forever!" The crowd spat as it threw.

"In the end," He pointed his blank eyes defiantly at his attackers,"There will be only one, A single God for men to follow."

As the old prophet finally submitted to the stones his words were noted, to the side, in a flimsey Journal.

-

A Hundred years later the journal would be mounted. The Years had given man time to ponder the words of the lost Prophet, War between brothers had torn kingdoms aunder as the rival gods fought to become the only ones worshipped in their nations. Now a single God reigned hand in hand with the King appointed over the men of each state. The Prophecy had fulfilled itself.

But was it done yet?

-

The once holy city lay burning beneath his feet. Flames rose, a gruesome offering to the diety who had commanded the conquest.

The Horned one, Brennus drove his sword deep into the dirt, kneeling to pray. Finishing his thankful prayer h raised the Iron high, flames flashed in it's reflecting surface. Fire blazed around him, the Holy Inferno.

Before him a vision appeared, One crown, One Religion. He presided over all of mankind, the day was won. Brennus smiled, Celtic hemogeny.

"It can be yours Brennus"

"I know," Brennus looked the figure in the eyes.
Cernunnos laughed, "You are too confident little man. WHo delivered Mecca to you?"

"My Men and steel!" Brennus insisted.
Cernunnos shook his head, the snake on his shoulder did as well.

"I did, my little partner. You even thanked me earlier. You know very wel by whose grace you stand here, by whose deeds your men now have a shoddy service in the Sistene Chapel. You know who that service is dedicated to. We need each other. Don't pretend otherwise."

Brennus still grinned," Is Allah much weaker?"

Cernunnos spread his arms in a stretch.

"He lost the recently built Chapel, that hurt him, and my attacks on him in the heavens have been as bloodthirsty as your battles with his followers. Even as you defeat his followers they abandon hope in him. He has begun to loose faith that they can sustain him."

"Do you think anyone will ever catch on to our plot?"

It was the detie's turn to grin.

"By then it will be too late."

-

Shiva watched the fires from a neighboring hill, his arms were crossed on his knees as he squatted, eyes intent. Realization dawned on his face, as he watched alone, Ghandi would have to know this, he thought. Would the pacifist listen though, The Destroyer had a heart of doubt, but he turned, to Dehli.

Women were piled upon him, the feeble man seemed quite happy, as wine poured from his glass onto the floor, Ghandi didn't care, it would be filled again later.

"Come." He spoke, The Women disappeared as Ghandi slipped into a reality where he could interect with the God.

"What the hell do you want? You never talk to me, what's so bloody important?"

"Brennus is trying to conqure the world."

Ghandi laughed, "That half brained son of a pig couldn't conqure his bathtub. So what if he fights with the Arabs, it's none of our business."

"The Arabs are only the start, he wants the world under him. One Crown, One State, One Church," Shiva put emphasis on the final word.

"So he'll have more worshippers than you? I've got missionarries all over the place, what do you want?"

"Surely you remember the Prophecy, He beleives that is is not only true within the nations, but that one day a single god will remain."

"Afraid to die? It's something you get used to. I don't have to worry though..." Ghandi smiled lopsidedly.

"If I am killed by Cernunnos, my gift of Immortality to you will fade quickly. Your survival as well."

"It's a long ways off, we have little to worry for."

"Best to prepare now. I suggest we conqure Japan, Susano isn't prepared for anything."

"Baby!" Ghandi was appaled," I'm a lover not a fighter, did you see those babes back there? I'm not leaving them for some silly crusade."

"You must, if you would survive to the end."

Ghandi sighed, he was obviously outgunned here.

"I'll do it. Dammit. I'll do it."

Shiva smiled.

"Thus begins the Legacy of Crusades...."

- (Author's Note)
How are we? Gimme some feedback.

ChrisiusMaximus · January 29, 2003, 20:08

nice intro this looks as promising as Ive been anticipating, with some nice touches of humour.

Great work SKI.

vovan · January 29, 2003, 20:18

Well, though it wasn't immediately obvious to me that Brennus was talking to a Deity there from the start, (

and I thought I knew the mythology) it reads pretty nicely. Only thing is, you have to forget the real-world Ghandi, and remember what a warmongering bad guy he is in civ3. And it all comes into place.

Keep going.

Centauri18 · January 29, 2003, 21:27

Huh. I always managed to steamroll Gandhi in the game.

History Guy · January 29, 2003, 21:55

Yeah, he isn't much of a warmonger when I'm around...because I go after him first...

Anyway, I do like the story very much. Cernunnos was one of those Celtic nature gods, I remember. He's the chap who had those horns popping out of his head, as beautifully illustrated on the one and only Gundestrup Cauldron.

Centauri18 · January 29, 2003, 23:24

Interesting how the civs who ought to be tough in the real world aren't in the game and vice versa. I mean I could wipe out India (a real powerhouse in the real world), but the French ('nuff said) gave me fits for hours!

vovan · January 29, 2003, 23:45

Hehe, as for the most annoying civ in the game, that would have to be the English. I mean, really, they always pop up next to me and are generally being a pain in the behind. (Though to be honest, if I see Russians or Americans anywhere near, I usually try to get rid of them ASAP.)

So, the French aren't usually a big problem for me. I always make them my allies, and have them fight the English, and when both nations are weak, I finish off the latter, and enslave the former (have them pay me for techs, and luxuries).

SKILORD · January 30, 2003, 15:19

Glad you appreciate it. About half of the next chapter is sitting on my Notepad (Those things rock, why haven't i used them before) If i weren't writing it and it's CFC alternate at the same time i would be done.

SKILORD · January 31, 2003, 01:16

The stallion was of the purest white, it's gracefully avoided the mud puddles of the camp, it's rider sat cross legged as his soldiers watched, eyes cocked.

He turned to his hooded companion.

"What are they staring at?"

"They think your horse is a bit unrealistic for a battle steed."

Ghandi grunted," What do they know."

"As far as making war is concerned, a great deal more than you."

Ghandi patted his horse," He's served me well so far."

The horse's hoof abruptly found a hole and, without any grace to speak of, tumbled to the ground.

For a moment Ghandi pondered never leaving the mud puddle the horse had dropped him in. A frown conqured his face as he lifted himself, counting smiling faces.

The horse stood back up sheepishly, and nuzzled it's master apologetically. Ghandi patted it again, placing one foot in a stirrup and swinging himself back into the mount.

"That's the cheeziest thing that could have happened there. I swear, heads will roll."

"Good luck," Shiva grumbled under his hood.

-

Ghandi had been forced to leave his tent filled with loveley ladies behind, It was a decision he regretted, even as Shiva laid out the plans for him in a more utilitarian tent.

The god unrolled the map.

Osaka lies to our East, the army is sufficient to take it, I've assembled the Elephant Riders to attack from the north, but should we bother with the army moving to flank us from the south...." The god stroke his cheek, pondering thoughts surely beyonf the man's conception.

"Give me a force, give me only the longbowmen, I'll wipe them from our worries."

Shiva frowned, "They are Samurai, Longbowmen will be little concern to them."

"I will make them a concern." The confidence was.... almost cute to Shiva.

Shiva sighed, outgunned by the new warrior's passion.

"I will give you a list of rituals to perform beforehand, have your men follow them to the letter and I will grant a miracle, it may not win you the day, but it will disrupt the enemy."

Ghandi nodded eagerly.

-

An army was on it's knees. Their hands in assorted prayers, a falcon burned as an offering on a feeble temple before them.

Shiva felt himself grow stronger as their faith added to him. Yes, he could do this.

The Samurai had noticed the obviously errant Longbowmen and had come searching, probing, their distinctive armor covered a hill in it's entirety. Bows were raised, the Indians charged to form a line to fire.

The first strike dropped many a Samurai, arrows delivered their final kisses to the Japanese flesh, embedding themselves into the bodies, leaving many hearts broken forever. The Samurai charged, unfettered.

The earth suddenly trmebled, opening it's mouth to greet the charging army. Flames rose to swallow the Samurai, silken cloth burned feircely.

The arrows didn't stop, their courses remained steady on the rapidly dissapaiting line, the Samurai turned suddenly, almost as one to flee. They were slaughtered with their backs to the feild on which their brothers had died.

Shiva was tired now. He returned quickly to rest at the main camp, fueled by the victorious prayers of a thankful army.

vovan · January 31, 2003, 01:24

Great stuff, SKI. Very nice, indeed.

One request, though. Since you say you are going to post a different version of the story at CFC (though I don't know why you would want to leave us without some of your creativity), could you maybe post a link to their version in this thread, so that we could go and read it and not have to search for too long?

Thanks, and may the inspiration be with you. With the latest installment, I wish you never stopped writing. And if your dad comes for the keyboard again, tell him that there are many a reader waiting for your fiction

SKILORD · January 31, 2003, 01:26

That was quick.....

Yeah i'll get a link, i'm posting their chapter 2 right now.

SKILORD · January 31, 2003, 01:47

Link added to the first post
Here it is again

vovan · January 31, 2003, 02:13

Yeah, I read your new chapter almost as soon as you posted it, because when I clicked the name of the thread, it wasn't there yet - I just wanted to see something in your first chapter - but by the time the page loaded, there was the new one. So, it was a matter of seconds really.

Any ways, I am inspired greatly. So, I have come up with a plot for a real short story of my own.

(Not the sequel for postmortem, which will be pretty long, and is still in the process of being thought out.) Thanks for the inspiration, SKI.

ChrisiusMaximus · January 31, 2003, 04:11

Yeah tell your Dad to leave your keyboard alone or Ill send the 3rd and 5th legions to his door to deliver Roman style justice.

SKILORD · January 31, 2003, 15:26

We worked it out Chrisus.

Anyone reead the oter version?

Sparkle · January 31, 2003, 15:37

Great story, just Ghandi should be Gandhi correctly, am I right?

Bugs ****ing Bunny · January 31, 2003, 16:21

Up for some feedback, Skilord?

Your dialogue is really good- you've got quite a knack for a natural and unforced feel to it. To balance it, don't be afraid to take your time in the descriptive passages. Savour the small moments and nuances that slowly pan out into the bigger picture.

There's certainly no problem with your plotting or imagination- I think that with spot of tinkering with the pacing you'll have something you can be very proud of. Keep it up.

vovan · January 31, 2003, 16:35

I just read the other side of the story, SKI. And I must say it is very nice also. It would be very interesting to see the story develop from the opposite sides of the perspective. And it should become especially interesting, when Brennus and Gandhi should meet each other in battle. Though I am a little curious as to the outcome - will it be the same in both versions, or will the side, from which we are viewing win in both (or loose in both?) - though, I say, I am curious about that outcome, I would surely like to see the story progress, and hope you yourself don't loose interest in it before you can draw it to the conclusion (I am sure I won't

). Any ways, looking forward to more.

SKILORD · January 31, 2003, 16:38

Quote:

will it be the same in both versions, or will the side, from which we are viewing win in both (or loose in both?)

It will be the same story, the outcomes of the battles will be the same.

nuff said.

vovan · January 31, 2003, 16:41

SKILORD · January 31, 2003, 16:42

Quote:

Great story, just Ghandi should be Gandhi correctly, am I right?

yeah, probably should be.

Quote:

Your dialogue is really good- you've got quite a knack for a natural and unforced feel to it. To balance it, don't be afraid to take your time in the descriptive passages. Savour the small moments and nuances that slowly pan out into the bigger picture.

I'll work on this, dialouge used to bother me, and I avoided it, sticking to description in my early stories (but even that wasn't superb) I'll slip to some poetic descriptions next chapter....

SKILORD · February 2, 2003, 13:08

I'll get chapter 3 up today.

vovan · February 2, 2003, 16:59

Bring it on.

SKILORD · February 2, 2003, 17:26

These will be a fun two chapters to write....

-

"What the hell was that!"

Shiva Darshan sat passively on his cloud, watching the night's sky unravel, watching the flames of his followers battle the dark.

"What do you want Susano?" Shiva sighed as he looked up tiredly.

"I thought that we weren't supposed to use ourr powers to help our men in battle, there's a treaty. Noone will ever trust you again!"

Shiva looked at the tempermental Deity, shaking his head dissapointed. He pulled a sword.

"Samaharamuti?" The Japanese god asked, quivering.

Shiva smiled, nodded, he picked up a spear.

It wistled as it flew through the air at his opponent, the wind scattered behind it. A sudden draw with his War fan saved Susano at the last instant, using it as a sheild he knocked the weapon aside.

A gust of wind carried him up as a sneer grew across his face.

"I defeated the other Japanese gods, they banished me, and I returned for them. You will be little problem Shiva!"

Lightning filled the air, a maze of electricity that Shiva jumped through. His sword glistening hungrily. A slash left a huge cut along Susano's arm.

The angry god lashed out with his own sword, missing. Rain began to pour.

Shiva's muscles tensedd, he could be in a spot of trouble, Susano could be quite ruthlessurvived this encounter and the power of the god was not to be underestimated.

Another spear flew, Shiva's was returned to him, he caught it.

"I'm the Destroyer, Susano, why try your luck?"

"Shut up, you filfthy cheating dog. When you are dead I will rain death upon you people. they will be conqured and slaughtered like cattle!"

The spear was exchanged again, with a laugh Susano brought up his War fan.

The fan shattered, faltering whenm most needed. Susano looked down at the new protrusion. With a grunt he pulled it forth, looking at it. Shiva smiled when he looked back up.

His staff was pulled, in his other hand he held the sword. He screamed a Berserker's scream and charged the other God.

Samaharamurti watched idly as the dying god charged. His sword was pulled, a decapitating, merciful blow stuck. Death was welcomed by the dying son of Amaterasu, he fell endlessly to earth.

Shiva shook his head, pained. He reverted to Anugrahamurti, his benevolent manifestation. He had to talk to Gandhi.

He watched the plummeting figure, Why the hell can't there be more than one.....

vovan · February 2, 2003, 17:35

Very nice, though I see you bhurried a little bit while typing up this installment. It has some hasty typos in it.

But other than that, interesting.

And hey, I am looking forward to seeing what Crennunos is going to do to his opponent over at CFC.

SKILORD · February 2, 2003, 18:08

I'll have that part up soon.

Bugs ****ing Bunny · February 2, 2003, 18:26

Quote:

Originally posted by SKILORD

Shiva Darshan sat passively on his cloud, watching the night's sky unravel, watching the flames of his followers battle the dark.

A beautiful line. That was poetry.

SKILORD · February 2, 2003, 18:36

I know, when i try i can write poetry.

I noticed that this chapter requires a bit of knowledge of the Myths of these countries so...

Anugrahamurti: Shiva's benevolent manifestation
Samaharamurti: Shiva's 'Destroyer' manifestation
Amaterasu: Mother of Susano, banished him from heaven for his temper and constant battles.

SKILORD · February 2, 2003, 19:34

hehe, it occurred to me that there could be a really cool prequel to this, Shiva gaining supremacy in India and the others in their nations....

that's for another day, but still, i'll post it here to remember.

ChrisiusMaximus · February 2, 2003, 19:59

Good work SKILORD.