New Age Warriors

gooberboob · February 2, 2003, 00:18

Alright, I abandoned another story, big deal, that thread is jinxed, by typing Yuute's last name, for some reason, I always get crashed, so I'm declaring Yuute's story cursed and beginning anew.

--------
This story is dedicated to Raven.

The little boy hopped on his scooter, he was running away from home, little did this little boy know, it would not be for two decades before he saw it again.

-----
20 Years Later:

"We have done it!! The clone has been perfected!!"

"Our genetic research is complete!! This is an historic day for the world!!"

As the scientists wandered slowly into their back room, two identical men stood, staring into each others' face. Neither had seen his own reflection in 20 years, so they just viewed the other as a new person.

"What is your name?"

"Michael, and you?"

"Why... Michael is my name!"

"But that is my name!"

"I guess we both have the same name then."

"Well, what do you want to do?"

"I dunno, what do you want to do?"

"Lets punch the red button and see if we get fed."

"Sounds cool to me."

-----
Four months have passed....

"What do you mean?? WHO's escaped?"

"Michael."

"They are all called Michael!!"

"They all escaped you idiot!!"

"But the world isn't ready to deal with 600 identical naked men!!"

"They're not naked, in fact, they're quite well armed."

"Armed?!! How did they learn to use guns?"

"Michael was very bright, however, I'm sorry to say that there are no longer 600..."

"What do you mean?"

"Grenade"

"Aww hell."

----

Michael the army tromped up the street barefooted. Left, Right, Left, Right, they marched in unison by habit alone. People gave them weird looks, but silently followed, unsure as to why or how these men came to be.

Soon the numbers swelled to well over a thousand, and the destination of the Michaels became apparent... One, two, then all of them stopped and formed a circle around a rusty old scooter, and almost instantaneously, they wept in unison...

ChrisiusMaximus · February 2, 2003, 05:54

Hmm a good start

please finish this one

I know you pobably think Im a pain in the ass but I actually think your doing the right thing this time. The Yuute story was promising but unfortuanately marred by the puke smiley disharmony.

Hope this one goes well

vovan · February 2, 2003, 16:42

Hmmm... Let's see what you can make of this. So far it is a little ... jumpy. But other than that, a pretty nice idea. Looking forward to seeing what happens next.

SKILORD · February 2, 2003, 17:12

interesting....ish.

I'll read more....

gooberboob · February 2, 2003, 17:44

"How did they escape?!!"

"They all punched the same wall at the same time."

"How could the choreograph something that elaborate?"

"Well, when we experimented on them, we found that they all are subconsciously driven to mimick the emotions and actions of the original Michael, so when the original Michael got mad and hit the wall..."

"They all punched the same wall at the same time"

"Precisely."

"Then why didn't they all blow up by lobbing grenades at each other?"

"The original Michael didn't lob the grenade, he just told a different one what to do."

"So they have a leader in the original then."

"Yes, in fact, killing the original Michael may very well kill all of them."

"Intriguing..."

----

The Michael Army finished weeping, and began to march once more, to the door of Michael's former home.

A clone pushed the doorbell, and when an old woman came to the door, all the clones screamed, "MOMMY!" The chorus of sobbing and weeping which followed was heard for miles.

The woman, who was indeed Michael's "mommy," fainted at the sight of several hundred men that all looked like an older version of the son she had lost twenty years ago.

Next, two young men came to the door.

"What the hell did you do to my mo-- his gaze drifted to the throng of people on the front lawn."

"Holy sh*t dude, it's Michael."

"It can't be, nobody's seen him in like twenty years!"

"But that's him, and that would explain why Mom fainted, not to mention them all screaming mommy."

"Well what are we supposed to do with all of them, no matter what Mom might say about the freezer downstairs, we cannot feed an army."

"I'll go revive mom, you figure out who's in charge."

-----

The scientists were driving furiously, the late afternoon sun in front of them made driving fairly difficult, and the dusty windshield did not help matters in the least.

"Where did we pick up that damn kid?"

"Sun Prairie I think."

"Couldn't be, in Sun Prairie the kids are kept under a close eye."

"You're right."

"Then where are we going?"

"I'm making a run for the border, I'm starving."

"Then why did we bring the tranquilizer gun??"

"So I don't have to pay."

"Sometimes you really piss me off."

-------

Meanwhile, the original Michael had been deduced from the rest after some very close scrutiny of who answered questions first and most accurately. This Michael was taken inside, while the rest were left to build camp and prepare for the coming of the hated scientists once again.

ChrisiusMaximus · February 2, 2003, 20:05

Very good goober.

When your time on earth comes to an end you should definitely donate your brain to medical science.

BigDork · February 2, 2003, 20:07

Glad to see you're doing another story Goob. I like it so far, keep it up.

BigD

Centauri18 · February 2, 2003, 20:49

Hm....

gooberboob · February 3, 2003, 02:55

I'm not going to be as overtly humorous, right now my plan is to use the scientists as a comic relief, and be all deep with the clones, I did dedicate this story to a female friend of mine

and you guys know that I try not to keep my female friends waiting

BigDork · February 3, 2003, 10:00

Bah, you're young. You'll learn with time. Just wait till you get married. It's more like the make you wait for them.

BigD

Prince Jason · February 3, 2003, 10:19

good dialogue, and very different story plot, lol. Keep it up, I'll be waiting for the next installment.

Jason

gooberboob · February 3, 2003, 20:53

In the home, Michael was introduced to his brothers. Maxwell was his older brother, and tended to take charge. Nathanial was Michael's younger brother, and his strong point seemed to be backing up whatever Maxwel said.

After going in and checking on their mother, Maxwell came into the kitchen to lay out plans to stop the scientists.

"We do not know who they work for do we?" Max was asking questions so he could improve his plan.

"Well... they all had American flags on their clothes, my guess would be that they work for America."

"You mean they work for the GOVERNMENT" Nathanial had to chirp in with an anti-democratic government remark.

"Whatever, they are a menace, a menace which needs to be stopped soon."

Michael and Nathanial agreed, and a raid on the laboratory was being planned out.

---this next part might be disgusting---

The laboratory was rank with the odor of last night's Taco Bell, and the scientists had eaten in the car.

"Stop farting you nincompoop!"

"Stop pooping you old fart!"

"I can't help it, I'm old."

"I was kidding"

"Oh... umm... yeah... um... well... so was I"

The scientists just rolled their eyes at each other, they were about to attempt the seemingly impossible, they were goiing to clone a dead clone.

"Wait, according to earlier parts of this story, wouldn't that kill the clone before it's born?"

"No"

"Why not?"

"Because it totally throws off the remnants of plot"

"That's cool I guess"

"MAAAN you stink"

"shut up and get working!"

-----
That's all for now... I have to use the bathroom... Bad

TheGuitarist · February 3, 2003, 20:59

This is definitely the most unusual story I've ever read on these boards. It's pretty good, though. Keep it up, goob.

gooberboob · February 5, 2003, 19:23

DAMNIIT!!! I GOTTA START COPYING THIS ****!! GRRRRR

connection timed out

SKILORD · February 6, 2003, 11:10

this is easily the weirdest story of yours i have read.

gooberboob · February 6, 2003, 20:57

this is easily the weirdest story of yours i have read.

Wait... LOL

Centauri18 · February 6, 2003, 20:58

gooberboob · February 6, 2003, 21:15

Max, Mike, and Nathanial now had a much more urgent problem on their hands. One of the clones decided that he was hungry, which prompted more to complain of hunger. Soon, the whole neighborhood was ringing with the sounds of "feed me mommy." It was an eerie sound to say the least, but not as eerie as the simultaneous sniff that followed it. The noise was indescribable, both annoying, yet somehow melodious at the same time.

Max finally gave them the OK to go rob the grocery store down the road, and the hunger was appeased temporarily.

----

... in one of the strangest robberies Wisconsin has ever seen, hundreds of men, duplicate men, raided a local Piggly Wiggly and stole only food....CLICK

"That's them!!"

"No it isn't!"

"How many other duplicates walk around in packs of several hundred?"

"Well, I saw this one Eminem video that had like 600 Eminems on it."

"I wish I could fire you on the grounds of stupidity."

"Why don't you? This job sucks."

"You're the supervisor!! Killing you would be an advancement to mankind you're so stupid! I should stick you in the cage with the invisible ape!"

"You can't do that."

"Why not?!"

"I'm the supervisor."

"Oh yeah."

----

Meanwhile, after the Michaels had their fill of all that the local Piggly Wiggly had to offer, they began work on their defenses...

ChrisiusMaximus · February 7, 2003, 03:13

This story is Turtletastic.

SKILORD · February 7, 2003, 16:02

This story is weird as hell.

gooberboob · February 7, 2003, 18:22

Thanks... I guess

Sparkle · February 16, 2003, 17:58

I love the story, although it seems that it was made after 6 beers and 3 joints :-))

SKILORD · February 16, 2003, 18:14

Metaliturtle · February 16, 2003, 19:34

Goober, you gotta lay off laying the women if you know what I'm sayin

Metaliturtle · February 17, 2003, 17:53

goober got into a car accident 2 nights ago, he's in intensive care in the hospital now

SKILORD · February 17, 2003, 18:11

ouch!

Metaliturtle · February 24, 2003, 04:29

I went to go see him today, he's pretty bad off, several broken ribs, plus internal injuries, they don't know when he'll be ok. He'll continue writing the story in the hospital as soon as he can, and post it via me on this thread. Plan on the first update being in 2 weeks or so.