Shoe Laces are burden on modern society

Zylka · February 4, 2003, 01:45

Now, over the weekend a reoccuring theme presented itself in my state of affairs: how utterly retarded and disgusting shoelaces are.

I mean:
-They're irrelevant. Elastic shoe technology makes for a perfect fit everytime. Watch out for velcroe, though - because the majorty of velcro based designs will make you look like a retard from the 80s!
-They look stupid, in a fashion sense. The leaders of tommorrow are labels like Prada, Boss, Diesel and Gucci - and their youth lines have been progressively piling on minimilast, sleek footwear with materials taking front stage over the past 5 years. Of course the "classic" Italian dress shoe does currently have longevity, but they'll be about as appealing as a powdered wig in 50 years.
-In the early 90's: The height of fashion for the trend of the month company "LA gear" was an atrociously overdone pile of footwear sh*t with THREE (3) neon laces bundled together. I think it also had a pump, so if you like laces - go get pump shoes, too!
-Aside from the fashion sense, shoelaces just look plain ugly, and get worse with time. Where's the aesthetic appeal in old, frayed, gray, dirty laces bloated with moisture flapping about with every step? NONE. Unless, of course, you're a follower of some weeklong fad in Japan which also somehow involves wearing everything and anything with a Union Jack or Barbara Streisand on it.
-They often drop down onto the floor (even when tied) and pick up all sorts of garbage & bacteria that you'll later handle - which is especially nice when you're at a urnial (Yes, I picked this gem up from the 3rd season Sopranos)
-Shoelaces are a phenomenal loss of production for the individual and society. What point is there to waste several minutes of each and every day fumbling two pieces of thread together in an attempt to dress yourself? Let's not forget all of the times they come undone and render even more of your time a useless frustration (and giving even those with slow wit something to laugh at!). Even masturbation is a better way to spend your time, as you're practising for something important. The only thing more redundant I can think of right now is a tie, but they don't constantly undoe themselves (unless you're being a party animal, which is a good thing). All in all, they figure if you combine the average 3-5 minute a day loss figure with the working populations of the western world, and divide it by 3.14x (x being a number of other figures I've yet to decide), we could have sent a whole continent to the moon by now - like the earth and water and lakes and everything!
-Shoelaces are produced by kids in foreign factories somwhere in Tyraniam, I think. Well - that was just a sad attempt at converting people like Chegitz and Urban Ranger...

Seriously though, the only shoes that laces should have should be for athletes, those who need a precision fit for sprints of competition (the underserving and potentially tattering laces are then thrown out after each competition, for the serious athlete). I have not bought a pair of shoes with laces for near 6 years, and must I say - I feel liberated! I am not only getting constant compliments and ensuing hot sex for my astute fashion sense, but I feel like the purpose of my days lack yet one more tedious obstruction. I'll make another thread of this nature b*thcing about ties in about 25 years or so, when the time is right, but for now - please, free yourselves and by cool footwear!

(I'd also like to take the liberation of posting for PH, just to save him the wit and time of doing so below):

"What's wrong Zylka, haven't learned to tie your shoes yet?

"

Tiamat · February 4, 2003, 01:52

Zylka I have one word for you............plastics. Nope....that's not it.........VELCRO!!

Yes that would be the word.

Zylka · February 4, 2003, 01:56

Ah, well that was a nice jest which apparently wasn't pointed out IN LARGE ENOUGH FONT in the first half a paragraph of the article. Do you skim read to get through these things? I generally read the first and last sentences - seems to inform one enough!

Propaganda · February 4, 2003, 02:01

What's wrong Zylka, haven't learned to tie your shoes yet?

ColdWizard · February 4, 2003, 02:01

oh ****, that post makes sense and i actually agree

Tiamat · February 4, 2003, 02:01

Nope I read it. It just seemed a solution. When my daughter was young we had trouble getting her to tie her shoelaces. Velcro was our answer. Besides if you buy shoes with Velcro then you would no longer have shoe laces to bitc* about now would you?

Asher · February 4, 2003, 02:03

This is so gay.

Zylka · February 4, 2003, 02:09

Quote:

Originally posted by Tiamat
Nope I read it. It just seemed a solution. When my daughter was young we had trouble getting her to tie her shoelaces. Velcro was our answer. Besides if you buy shoes with Velcro then you would no longer have shoe laces to bitc* about now would you?

Read it again, darling.

Zylka · February 4, 2003, 02:10

Quote:

Originally posted by Asher
This is so gay.

See, this is the ONE argument I expect support from the Gay/Bi community in - but NOOOOOO, you had to go and not be fashion conscious - DIDN'T YOU?!?!

Tiamat · February 4, 2003, 02:13

Quote:

Originally posted by Zylka

Read it again, darling.

OOOoooooo baby I do love it when you call me darlin

reference this?

Quote:

I mean:
-They're irrelevant. Elastic shoe technology makes for a perfect fit everytime. Watch out for velcroe, though - because the majorty of velcro based designs will make you look like a retard from the 80s!

So this would mean velcro is out for you as a fashion statement I take it?

Jon Miller · February 4, 2003, 02:15

I totally agree on thye shoelaces thing

that is why I usually wear sandals

and my shoes with lacse get tied less than once a month

Jon Miller

Zylka · February 4, 2003, 02:16

Quote:

So this would mean velcro is out for you as a fashion statement I take it?

BOOYA!

I've seen some interesting Velcro takes from Armani, but the style is still reeling from the mismanagement of the 80's. The only cirle velcro is eaccepted by lately is Ravers *shudder*

Zylka · February 4, 2003, 02:19

Sandals are awesome... anyone who doesn't wear sandals in the summer should be shot *likes to show off his painted toenails in the breeze*

...but then don't you DARE wear socks with sandals!

Fashion Nazi

Jon Miller · February 4, 2003, 02:22

yes

socks with sandals is just insane

in previous years I would wear sandals (wthout socks) until the snow got into my toes

Jon Miller
(this year since I work out some, I don't wear sandals often on days I work out)

Tiamat · February 4, 2003, 02:28

Personally I go barefoot........solves all shoe problems. Only wear shoes when I absolutly have to.

Asher · February 4, 2003, 02:30

I don't mind shoelaces. I don't even think about them.

I think youse all is cuhrayzee.

Jon Miller · February 4, 2003, 02:39

:d: barefoot

but IO am to wussy to do that at urinals and stuff so I take sandals

Jon Miller

Nubclear · February 4, 2003, 03:06

I simply wear shoes without any type of lace or velco of the sort. I just slip them on and I'm off. No tripping on cords, no odd straps...Simply, a shoe.

Jon Miller · February 4, 2003, 03:14

I just slip them on and off to, butthere are the stpid laces int eh way for people to step on

my freind has shoes like you describe, I plan on purchasing some next time I get shoes

Jon Miller

Ramo · February 4, 2003, 03:27

I wear sandles as much as possible. Damn convenient.

Dis · February 4, 2003, 04:14

Velcro is dorky.

Shoe laces are the way to go!

Urban Ranger · February 4, 2003, 11:47

Garth Vader · February 4, 2003, 12:26

I don't see what the problem with laces is

How long does it take to tie laces? 3 seconds?

February 4, 2003, 13:42

Sandals have got to be worst fashion item on men ever,especially worn without socks.

Women have nice feet. You have grubby feet. nuff said

Dis · February 4, 2003, 14:31

exactly.

I wear running/basketball shoes even when it is 120 F outside

.

Az · February 4, 2003, 15:15

Sandals: only on summer resorts, or when hiking in the desert, as I enjoy

Otherwise:

Jon Miller · February 4, 2003, 15:19

Quote:

Originally posted by Jac de Molay
Sandals have got to be worst fashion item on men ever,especially worn without socks.

Women have nice feet. You have grubby feet. nuff said

I think I have pretty feet

(although women's feet are far sexier)

Jon Miller

Az · February 4, 2003, 15:32

My FEET are hairy.

Zylka · February 4, 2003, 22:38

Shoelaces are idiotic. Sorry guys, but as I've outlined - they have no use, they're ugly, a waste of time, and a statement of poor hygiene. "They only take three seconds to tie" is not an excuse; so would a set of laces dangling uselessly on the thigh of my pants, so what's your point?

Sandals are nice for summer

...but you need something of worth all else of the year

Urban Ranger · February 5, 2003, 04:07

Ill. Only the burgundy pair of shoes are of any value.