March 5, 2003, 12:05
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#1
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Deity
Local Time: 15:00
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: With a view of the Rockies
Posts: 12,242
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A general Canadian apology to the US (joke)-- and whats up with US beer?
On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry.
I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a moron but, it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America. After all it's not like
you actually elected him.
I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better than your own.
I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defense I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours.
I'm sorry we burnt down your white house during the war of 1812. I notice you've rebuilt it! It's Very Nice.
I'm sorry about your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer but, we Feel your Pain.
I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up against a crazed dictator, you wanna have your friends by your side. I realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons.
And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way which is really a thinly
veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this. We've seen what you do to countries you get upset with.
Thank you.
------------------------------------------------------------------
I thought this was funny but the one issue I wanted to bring up is the point about mainstream US beer. Really what is up with that? Popular Canadian beer is just so much better. And there are a host of very wonderful European brews .
Is it just macho attitudes where having weak beer allows juvenile young men to brag about their beer consumption? Why is it that the biggest market in the world consistently accepts inferior brew?
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March 5, 2003, 12:12
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#2
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Deity
Local Time: 16:00
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: Republic of Texas
Posts: 27,637
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"I'm sorry about your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer but, we Feel your Pain."
It's all fine.
The intent now is to drop our beer on Hussein.
THAT will teach him.
__________________
Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
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March 5, 2003, 12:13
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#3
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Emperor
Local Time: 21:00
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Location: The Taste of Japan
Posts: 9,611
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Accepted. That's all we really wanted.
__________________
“As a lifelong member of the Columbia Business School community, I adhere to the principles of truth, integrity, and respect. I will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.”
Civ V Civilization V Civ5 CivV Civilization 5 Civ 5 - Do your part!
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March 5, 2003, 12:16
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#4
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Deity
Local Time: 17:00
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: Not your daddy's Benjamins
Posts: 10,737
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We haven't been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry.
We haven't? 
__________________
I came upon a barroom full of bad Salon pictures in which men with hats on the backs of their heads were wolfing food from a counter. It was the institution of the "free lunch" I had struck. You paid for a drink and got as much as you wanted to eat. For something less than a rupee a day a man can feed himself sumptuously in San Francisco, even though he be a bankrupt. Remember this if ever you are stranded in these parts. ~ Rudyard Kipling, 1891
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March 5, 2003, 12:16
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#5
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Local Time: 17:00
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: In search of pants
Posts: 5,085
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I believe that this apology is credited to one Rick Mercer of 22 Minutes, Made in Canada, and Talking to Americans fame. 
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March 5, 2003, 12:16
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#6
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Warlord
Local Time: 21:00
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 219
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I suggest forcing Saddam Hussein to drink American beer, eat American burgers and watch American soaps.
The poor bugger will prolly top himself after just a week of the above, I probably would.
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March 5, 2003, 12:17
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#7
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Deity
Local Time: 16:00
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Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: Underwater no one can hear sharks scream
Posts: 11,096
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Quote:
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Originally posted by DanS
We haven't?
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Thier PM Cretin has been annoying.
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March 5, 2003, 12:19
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#8
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Deity
Local Time: 16:00
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: Republic of Texas
Posts: 27,637
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We have good burgers.
Where did you come up with the bad burger reference?
Because of the Swiss cheese some use ?
__________________
Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
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March 5, 2003, 12:24
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#9
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Warlord
Local Time: 21:00
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 219
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I was referring to MaccyDs - not had one for over a year and not missing them 
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March 5, 2003, 12:27
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#10
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King
Local Time: 22:00
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Location: Dilbert
Posts: 1,839
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Say what you like about McDonalds' but I still think they do a good chickenburger. Not the best, but perfectly edible.
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March 5, 2003, 12:30
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#11
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Deity
Local Time: 16:00
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Location: Republic of Texas
Posts: 27,637
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The only thing of redeeming social value at McDonald's, is McRibs.
That's why they seldom sell them.
__________________
Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
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March 5, 2003, 12:31
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#12
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King
Local Time: 22:00
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Location: Dilbert
Posts: 1,839
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You can get ribs at McDonalds? That's news to me.
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March 5, 2003, 12:32
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#13
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Emperor
Local Time: 21:00
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Location: Mu Mu Land
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No need to apologize for Canada, we know you are already a sorry excuse for a country...
Cretin is a punk, and yes, Bush isn't the brightest brick on the block, but he is ours.
We don't mind that you can beat us in Hockey as long as we take in most of the ticket sales during the regular NHL season.
Keep you wood, you hosier.
Yes, we rebuilt our White House. No thanks to you!
I like our beer. Any beer with an animal or tree part on it is not worth my penny (or in Canadian money I think that is about $2).
Yeah, it sucks we had to waffle on Iraq. Had it not been for that silly Blair guy, oh wait he is the real athority in you country too.
I think it is nice we can work these things out and remain good neighbors. Just keep one eye open at night, we just bought I butt load of cheap toilet paper, and we aren't afraid to use it!!! 
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March 5, 2003, 12:35
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#14
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Warlord
Local Time: 13:00
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Evil Empire
Posts: 109
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Ah well, some American will probably come up with a similar apology to Canadians in an attempt to bash Canada. Why?
__________________
"When you ride alone, you ride with Bin Ladin"-Bill Maher
"All capital is dripping with blood."-Karl Marx
"Of course, my response to your Marx quote is 'So?'"-Imran Siddiqui
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March 5, 2003, 12:35
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#15
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Emperor
Local Time: 22:00
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Location: a raving alcoholic drama queen with a penchant for the biosciences
Posts: 3,646
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Popular American beers are simply undrinkable. Weak too. Canadian beers are a bit better but stuff like Molson Export makes me gag. Sliemans Honey Brown however is damn good stuff.
What is with the weakness of the beer anyway? What is the standard strength of American beer? 3.5% is the standard content of a pint of beer over here in England. Plenty of lovely 5% beers and even 9% beers are relatively easy to find.
__________________
Exult in your existence, because that very process has blundered unwittingly on its own negation. Only a small, local negation, to be sure: only one species, and only a minority of that species; but there lies hope. [...] Stand tall, Bipedal Ape. The shark may outswim you, the cheetah outrun you, the swift outfly you, the capuchin outclimb you, the elephant outpower you, the redwood outlast you. But you have the biggest gifts of all: the gift of understanding the ruthlessly cruel process that gave us all existence [and the] gift of revulsion against its implications.
-Richard Dawkins
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March 5, 2003, 12:36
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#16
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Warlord
Local Time: 13:00
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Dec 2002
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Posts: 109
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I was three minutes late.
__________________
"When you ride alone, you ride with Bin Ladin"-Bill Maher
"All capital is dripping with blood."-Karl Marx
"Of course, my response to your Marx quote is 'So?'"-Imran Siddiqui
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March 5, 2003, 12:37
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#17
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Deity
Local Time: 16:00
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: Republic of Texas
Posts: 27,637
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Paul Hanson
You can get ribs at McDonalds? That's news to me.
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It's a sandwich that, on occasion, McDonald's sells.
__________________
Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
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March 5, 2003, 12:42
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#18
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Emperor
Local Time: 17:00
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Location: Fort LOLderdale, FL Communist Party of Apolyton
Posts: 9,091
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It's a great sandwich, too. MMmmmmm, McRibs.
__________________
Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...
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March 5, 2003, 12:43
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#19
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Warlord
Local Time: 21:00
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 219
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yeah as DuncaK says, why not just enjoy the silliness of it - why feel the need to bash Canada?
ah yes the joys of MaccyDs - the lukewarm burger, the soggy fries, the "large drink" half-full of ice - yummy!
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March 5, 2003, 12:47
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#20
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Warlord
Local Time: 17:00
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 236
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Yeah the popular American beers suck...especially Bud. I don't know how they are the #1 selling beer because quite frankly, Budweiser tastes like piss and foam.
However, a 30 pack of Miller Lite goes for about $16, which is great my us college students who want to get drunk without paying a lot.
Off topic: What really pisses me off are all these stupid trendy drinks like Smirnoff Ice, Sky Blue, etc. Not only are they crap, but they cost like $8 for a six pack.
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March 5, 2003, 12:48
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#21
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Deity
Local Time: 16:00
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: Republic of Texas
Posts: 27,637
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Canada? You mean that frozen tundra we sectioned off, due to unliveable conditions?
Debate is on-going to extend to include Michigan's northern peninsula.
__________________
Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
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March 5, 2003, 12:50
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#22
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Emperor
Local Time: 22:00
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Location: a raving alcoholic drama queen with a penchant for the biosciences
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The "stupid trendy drinks" are called alcopops in the UK. They're usually stronger than any beer equivalent and taste far nicer. For a nice, drawn out evening, drink beer. For getting smashed fast, chug alcopops.
To clutch your head the next morning and whimper "why why" drink stuff like Kaluha.
__________________
Exult in your existence, because that very process has blundered unwittingly on its own negation. Only a small, local negation, to be sure: only one species, and only a minority of that species; but there lies hope. [...] Stand tall, Bipedal Ape. The shark may outswim you, the cheetah outrun you, the swift outfly you, the capuchin outclimb you, the elephant outpower you, the redwood outlast you. But you have the biggest gifts of all: the gift of understanding the ruthlessly cruel process that gave us all existence [and the] gift of revulsion against its implications.
-Richard Dawkins
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March 5, 2003, 12:51
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#23
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Emperor
Local Time: 16:00
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: May 2001
Location: flying too low to the ground
Posts: 4,625
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Demerzel
I suggest forcing Saddam Hussein to drink American beer, eat American burgers and watch American soaps.
The poor bugger will prolly top himself after just a week of the above, I probably would.
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Saddam is actually a fan of several aspects of American Culture, TV and Movies being #1. not the best muslim.
slightly unrelated:
i saw this show on MTV (the definative news source, of course) where they went to the house of an Iraqi family. These two Iraqi boys were wearing FUBU. fawking FUBU. they went to their room, they had britney spears / backstreet boys posters. they showed a scene of one boy singing the song. he knows the words, he knows the meanings. he speaks english well enough for a pre-teen Iraqi.
and he still says America deserved 9/11. he said it coldly, without any thought or sympathy.
sigh.
__________________
"I've lived too long with pain. I won't know who I am without it. We have to leave this place, I am almost happy here."
- Ender, from Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card
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March 5, 2003, 12:53
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#24
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Emperor
Local Time: 17:00
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Fort LOLderdale, FL Communist Party of Apolyton
Posts: 9,091
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Quote:
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Originally posted by dudemanjack
However, a 30 pack of Miller Lite goes for about $16, which is great my us college students who want to get drunk without paying a lot.
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The secret behind American beer revealed! It's cheap and refreshing.
__________________
Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...
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March 5, 2003, 12:54
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#25
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Deity
Local Time: 17:00
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Kneel before Grog!
Posts: 17,978
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American beer gets a bad name because of Bud, Miller, Coors, et al. They really do suck oversized moosecock - and they simply aren't beer.
There is much better American beer available to Americans who want it, thank goodness.
-Arrian
__________________
grog want tank...Grog Want Tank... GROG WANT TANK!
The trick isn't to break some eggs to make an omelette, it's convincing the eggs to break themselves in order to aspire to omelettehood.
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March 5, 2003, 13:00
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#26
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Emperor
Local Time: 16:00
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: In Exile
Posts: 4,140
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Quote:
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Originally posted by chegitz guevara
The secret behind American beer revealed! It's cheap and refreshing.
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Beer for the masses
__________________
Which side are we on? We're on the side of the demons, Chief. We are evil men in the gardens of paradise, sent by the forces of death to spread devastation and destruction wherever we go. I'm surprised you didn't know that. --Saul Tigh
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March 5, 2003, 13:00
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#27
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Emperor
Local Time: 22:00
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: a raving alcoholic drama queen with a penchant for the biosciences
Posts: 3,646
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The only good Budweiser is the orginal Czech Budweiser.
__________________
Exult in your existence, because that very process has blundered unwittingly on its own negation. Only a small, local negation, to be sure: only one species, and only a minority of that species; but there lies hope. [...] Stand tall, Bipedal Ape. The shark may outswim you, the cheetah outrun you, the swift outfly you, the capuchin outclimb you, the elephant outpower you, the redwood outlast you. But you have the biggest gifts of all: the gift of understanding the ruthlessly cruel process that gave us all existence [and the] gift of revulsion against its implications.
-Richard Dawkins
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March 5, 2003, 13:00
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#28
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King
Local Time: 17:00
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Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Everybody writes a book too many.
Posts: 1,259
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Quote:
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he speaks english well enough for a pre-teen Iraqi.
and he still says America deserved 9/11. he said it coldly, without any thought or sympathy.
sigh.
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If he is a pre-teen, he's lived most of his life under UN sanctions backed by the US after the Gulf war.
You wonder why he hates the US ?
__________________
What?
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March 5, 2003, 13:02
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#29
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Emperor
Local Time: 22:00
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: a raving alcoholic drama queen with a penchant for the biosciences
Posts: 3,646
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Right now I'm drinking a very good Grolsch lager, a Dutch beer.
__________________
Exult in your existence, because that very process has blundered unwittingly on its own negation. Only a small, local negation, to be sure: only one species, and only a minority of that species; but there lies hope. [...] Stand tall, Bipedal Ape. The shark may outswim you, the cheetah outrun you, the swift outfly you, the capuchin outclimb you, the elephant outpower you, the redwood outlast you. But you have the biggest gifts of all: the gift of understanding the ruthlessly cruel process that gave us all existence [and the] gift of revulsion against its implications.
-Richard Dawkins
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March 5, 2003, 13:08
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#30
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Deity
Local Time: 16:00
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: Republic of Texas
Posts: 27,637
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Sot.
__________________
Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
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