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Old June 13, 2003, 11:35   #31
Lord Zalzabad
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The silence was deafening. No troop moved, all were watching the two warriors in their final dual. Nether of them moved. Shaka, his spear placed directly at the Japanese Samurai's heart, Yuki's sword placed in the straight defensive position, known as the Shin Ken pose. The survivors of the Japanese Army gathered on the ridge, looking on. Suddenly, a wasp stung a soldier, who gave out a yelp of pain. Shaka looked around, to see what was going on, but before he knew it, Yuki was on him, slashing his Katana towards his head. As if sensing the attack, Shaka moved his spear up, to block the lightning attack. But before he had a chance to counter attack, Yuki's left hand disappeared from the Katana, (with the right hand still on his sword) and pulled out his Kodachi, slicing it towards Shaka's throat. As if by instinct, Shaka twisted his spear, hitting Yuki's Kodachi, the force forcing it out of his hand. Yuki jumped back into his defensive position as the Kodachi fell blade-first into the ground over twelve yards away. Shaka returned his blade into the attack position, and began to charge towards Yuki. Sensing this danger, Yuki quickly sheathed his weapon, preparing for a Batou jutsu. As Shaka came into range, Yuki unsheathed his weapon, in a lightning attack. To defend from this attack, Shaka attempted to move his spear into a position where he could block the attack, but the angle was wrong. The blade sliced the Spear into half, the wooden shaft shattering under the force of the powerful attack, as the blade continued through, hitting Shaka's armour. Shaka gave a cry of pain, as the force of the attack forced him to the ground. But the Batou-jutsu left Yuki open, and this was Shaka's only chance. He dropped the metal head of the spear, pulling out a dagger. Using his left arm to propel him off the ground, Shaka moved up, releasing the dagger throwing it towards Yuki's heart. Yuki saw this, but the force of his last attack prevented him from doing much. In a desperate attempt to stop the dagger, Yuki released his sword, and forced his hand down to deflect the blade. His desperate attempt deflected the dagger, but caused a cut on his hand. Shaka fell to the ground, a smirk on his face. Yuki took a step back, and turned around, franticly looking for his sword, so he could finish Shaka off.

"It is no use, Yuki-chan," said Shaka mockingly as he layed exposed on the dusty battlefield, "You are as good as dead." Yuki stopped, and turned around.
"What do you mean, Shaka? Are you not the one weaponless, prostrate on the ground?"
"Yes, Yuki, but my last attack was fatal."
"Speak up! What do you mean!"
"The dagger… it was poisoned." Shaka stopped for a moment, and laughed, "Farewell Yuki, It is time to join your mother, you father, you fiancee!"
Something snapped in Yuki at the use of these words. Seeing that his Kodachi layed only two yards away from where he was, quickly using his lightning reactions, he sprinted to the short sword, knowing that by him running, the poison would go deeper into his body, that he would die faster, and pulled it out of the ground. Sliding to a stop, Yuki pulled his Kodachi back, and yelled, "My fate may be sealed, but not the fate of our nations. If I must die, I am taking you to hell with me!" With that, Yuki started to charge towards Shaka, placing his weapon behind him, preparing for a final slash. Shaka did not expect this. Looking around, he saw the head of the spear laying just yards away. He quickly started to scramble towards the blade, but Yuki was closing in too fast. Yuki slashed his sword across Shaka's neck, and collapsed to the ground, as a blood-curdling scream ripped through the battlefield.

A Japanese Captain, who had been watching the epic battle from the ridge above, rushed down to his commander's aid. No Zulu soldier went to their princes aid, they just stood their, their commanders shocked that the leader, who they thought was invincible, layed dead before them. A trumpet sounded from behind the ridge, as Persian reinforcements began to arrive from nearby Susa, and the commanders ordered the troops to begin to withdraw. Meanwhile, the Japanese Captain., known as Tanaka, reached Yuki's body, lying motionless on the ground.
"Commander! Commander! Are you alright?"
"Yes, Captain, I (cough cough) am," Yuki replied weakly, "Is… is he dead?"
"Shaka?" Tanaka asked, looking up at the motionless body behind him, "Yes he's dead. You fought well, Commander."
"No I did not. If I had, I would not be laying here like this. I am glad he is dead, I have gained my revenge."
"Commander, you must not die! This is the time our army needs you!"
"Sorry Captain, I must…" but Yuki stopped suddenly, looking up to the sky, his eyes went wide, "Sakura… forgive me," and he slumped to the ground, dead.

The End.
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Old June 13, 2003, 17:00   #32
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Bravo great ending, I wont nominate this for now until Darkcloud sets a new round thread up, but you can rest assured I will when he does.
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Old June 13, 2003, 20:49   #33
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Thankyou, Chrisius. If its gioing to be nominated, I will try to rework the second from last chapter. I have never been happy with it.
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Old June 14, 2003, 14:41   #34
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Thumbs up on this one, Zalzabad. Too bad I was late for the nomination of the story, for it surely deserves recognition.
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Old June 14, 2003, 22:28   #35
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Post deleted, but I will keep this empty for now.

Last edited by Lord Zalzabad; June 15, 2003 at 07:36.
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Old June 14, 2003, 22:50   #36
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Great job, LZ, that adds quite a lot to the story.

And btw, I found the general's name especially amusing throughout the whole thing, since there's a Japanese restaurant here in Columbia called Sato.

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Old June 15, 2003, 05:21   #37
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On the whole itys better 2nd time round, but it was not bad before.

Definitely more polished, one thing I think I would have done is have Yuki give his friend and teacher a decent burial before leaving the hut. One other thing is you might want to reorganise the posts so the story flows from start to finish.

Guitarist is right in that it adds a lot to an already excellent tale.
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Old June 15, 2003, 07:50   #38
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All, fixed! Now it is complete! I never liked that second from last chapter (that I replaced), too rushed and cheerful, in my opinion. I also don't like the way the first two chapters of the story are written, but I will leave them be. This was ment to be a quick story, so I did not go in to detail as much as I wanted to. I would of had more battles, more action, and have built up the charicter of Sakura up a bit more, (and maybe Tachido, but he is not as important). Sorry it took so long, but my workload got very high around March. For those who have not read the alturnitive second-from last chapter, it is all fixed up, and in place of the old chapter. Thanks to all those who nominated the story, and thanks (in advance) to all those who vote for the story in the semi finals (and hopefully the finals)

Sayonara for now,
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Old August 29, 2003, 14:58   #39
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Quote:
Originally posted by Lord Zalzabad
Sensei led me to his nearby hut, where my training began earnestly. Sensei showed me the basic skills of the sword, and the basic means of defence. I was a fast learner, eagerly taking in everything that he taught me. I was soon very skilled, but not as skilled as Sensei. I spent many about five years training with Sensei, training every day, except the odd occasion when I went to the Village for supplies. But on one, fateful day, the village was very quiet. Walking into the Tavern, I saw the owner packing up his belongings. Turning to him, I asked, “Why are you packing”
“Haven’t you heard, Yuki-chan? The Persians have declared war on us, and burned the City of Nara to the ground! Everyone’s leaving.”
I stood there, shocked. Mother and Father would most properly be dead. Anger that I had only felt once before, when informed of my brother’s death, swept over me. I picked up my sword and rushed back towards the mountains. Sensei was meditating at the time, and my sudden arrival broke his chain of thought.
“Why are you back so soon? Where is the meat I asked you to get?”
“I must go, Sensei…” I started
“Is this about Nara? I thought you would want to leave,” said Sensei, leaving me in shock. He stood up, and walked over to me. “Yuki-chan, you are far from finishing my training, but if you want to go, you may.” He turned and walked into his hut, emerging after a while, carrying a sword. “This is Satama-san’s sword. I give it to you. You may ether stay here and become stronger, or you may leave,” he said, handing me the sword, “the choice is yours.”
“I must leave, Sensei, I am sorry.”
“I expected, and yet regretted that answer. With more training, you could have become a master. Go, to Edo, just over the pass. There you can join up the army. Just give them my name.”
“Ok, Sensei, but might I ask, what is your name?” I said, wondering why he had not revelled his name.
He paused for a moment, and then said, “I am Zakido Yukuro,” he turned and headed for the hut, “I was once a samurai, but not no more. They will know the name. Farewell, Yuki-chan.” He closed the door behind him, and I began to walk off to the East, where hopefully I would get to Edo.

The trip to Edo was uneventful intill the third and final day of my journey. On the trail, I met a group of refugees. They were not the first I had encountered in the past three days, but unlike the others, they were from Nara. I enquirered about my parents, but they knew nothing, intill I got to the Yaraka van. They were a family that lived close to us all those years ago, I use to go to class with their daughter, Sakura. They had only just escaped from the town before it fell. However, when I enquired about my family, they quickly changed the subject t what I had been doing over the past five years. I soon grew tired of this, and continued up the caravan, when who should I meet, but Sakura. She was surprised to see me alive, asked me what I had been doing. When I informed her of my training, her eyes lit up, and she informed me that she, too wanted to be a samurai.
“But they do not except females into the Samurai!” I replied with horror.
“Well, I want to join anyway! I want to teach those Persians a lesson for killing the Takada’s like … opps!” she stopped suddenly, knowing that she had said too much.
“What!” I said, shocked and angry, “Mother, Father, dead? Why were they killed?”
Sakura knew that she could not conceal the truth any more, so told me the truth, of how Mother and Father tried to protect the city, but got captured and executed for being part of the resistance. She then tried to calm me down, “Do not worry, they died honourably. They would want you to live on and continue the family name.”
“I guess they would,” I said calming down finally, “But I am still joining the Army. I must get my revenge for the brutal slaying of the people of Nara, and my parents.”
We continued talking for the rest of the journey about various things. She was, however, very interested in my training, and I told her all the moves and theory behind it. At Edo, we said our farewells, and wandering towards the barracks, I wondered if I would ever see her again.
Well actually they do allow females into the Samurai class but female Samurai's are rare.

Last edited by Hawker; September 20, 2003 at 00:55.
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Old August 31, 2003, 04:29   #40
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that is great

thank you
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Old August 31, 2003, 08:03   #41
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Awesome story.
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Old September 1, 2003, 03:21   #42
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Thank you all for your praise. And please remember to vote for my story if you think it is worthy enough. Since there are so many good tales out there, I doubt I will do well. Oh yes, and to all those awaiting the next installment of my massive trilogy, expect another couple of chapters shortly.
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