Grad School and Rejection

[devilmunchkin]

urban: no, there are no rules really to that poem...i wanted it to reveal the sheer fury i felt at them..no rules allowed me to slam all that in my reader's face, although with the exception of one like i used purposely, i used rhyme scheme and only deviated sometimes to trip my reader up and grab their attention. i have another one (not on me although maybe i'll post it later tonight) where i employ some iambic meter.

however, urban, i'm still learning the use of meter so when i do use it, it probably sounds shaky. lord byron i am not.

tia: grad school already has a cap on it that you wouldn't believe. my department takes 10-12 per year. THAT is a cap....most grad school..MANY have caps ranging from 10 to 30 in their poetry departments.

ozz: i'll cut them off long as i need to for them to get the picture this time and i will NEVER enter their house without someone with me EVER again.

[Jon Miller]

I am sorry DM

life is hard

Jon Miller

[devilmunchkin]

yes.....it is. you have to eat alot of **** before it gets better...however...i find poetry to help me through..plus good friends and my love ......
i just need to get to a point where more than my friends and people i care about like to read it....

[Ozz]

Originally posted by devilmunchkin
i just need to get to a point where more than my friends and people i care about like to read it....

Yer there now are'nt ya?

One benefit, when you have your own family, you know
what NOT to do.

[Japher]

munchkin:

I am sorry you got rejected, I have been there too many times, and for things I thought I was good at...

but, man (I no woman, it's hippy slang), that poem suked, though not completly... I am sorry if you take offense by I will try to explain so that it sound more like a critism than a flat out rip.

I really like the first stanza, good rhyme, good constance, good imagry... nice

Second stanza: poetry is to transgress, illusions to T2 would do it. Tough the rest is nice, this just ruins it... revise

Third stanza: don't whine! While you have a point, all it sounds like is "waaaaaa!"... you can be more creative and attack your parents, your surroundings, your parents parents even. Basically, this stanza was awful and dictated nothing of use... revice

Same, don't make me cry. We all have it hard...

Fifth Stanza: Better, you are getting somewhere close to creativity, or imagry I actually like this, and blame is seen for the first time... revise, but

Sixith Stanza: Good rant, lacked structure... rework

7th: to much outer poetry illusion in one stanza/poem, nice, I liked it, but I know others won't...

8th: more whinning...

9th: started good, last line????... for sake of the poem

last two: whines...

I mean, I know, but poety is suppose to relay an emotion. All I got was I am a whinner... If that is the aim than so be it.... I know that you think it is crap, but even I have written better crap.

I am not trying to be mean, but to give a good critique. Read more Eliot and more Plath (I saw you like her, I don't, but her style is good).

I justed wanted to add my two cents, because a poem need not rhymne or have dependent structure, but this one has some issues... not impossible though. I, still, would of rejected you from CSUF, even though I know nothing about poetry.... Maybe that is what happened?

I would like to see your other stuff though, if you can take some mean critism, with more depth of course.

I have proofed a lot of work that has been published, and know a thing or two about this stuff. just so you know.

[Japher]

I see your only 22, almost 23 y.o.a.... Perhaps you should apply in creative writting instead, and leave the emotion babble to those who understand it.

That was mean, but....?

[Ozz]

Originally posted by Japher
That was mean, but....?

Also assinine,

life's lesson #2 munchkin:

Don't take the prouncements of pompass jackass's who judge but don't do.

Einstein was called an idiot by his teacher.
Wayne G. was "too small" to play hockey according to
his brandford coach.
Munckins poetry suked according to Japher

There's always a fool trying to put you down.

[DaShi]

Einstein was an idiot. He was completely wrong about Quantum theory. What a baffooon!

[devilmunchkin]

well, one thing i've learned about poetry is that whether or not it's good is subjective..can be. that poem is also a first draft that i wrote sunday in the midst of a blinding rage so i can see how it might be too emotional, although rather than whinning i was attempting to provide proof and then come to a stand. But i do think it needs some work. poems always to..you're never finished. ...you just come to a point where you have to accept it for what it is.
i'm trying to work with rhyme, japher, because up until now i've been completely free form ..i'm trying to teach myself meter and rhyme. rhyme isn't that hard, but i abandoned meter because it would imprison the absoute rage i felt.
the last two stanzas are not whines but me making a stand, so perhaps you read those wrong. and as for my age, i'm ONLY 21....perhaps lord byron had it down (though his stuff at 21 bored the hell out of me) by 21, but i'm still learning like any other modern poet has at this age.
and i also see the points ozz makes: people used to think Shakespeare sucked when he's alive. Not that i'm comparing myself to shakespeare as he was a master at meter, unlike myself.
i'll say it needs work...but i won't think it sucks. i'll post the revised version if i ever get a moment to rework some stuff. however, below is more poetry...
and i got my second rejection letter today..from UT. however, they reject 96% of their applicants so i guess i shouldn't feel bad.

Raining In Florida

Dripping through time
An acidic drop that splashes onto the earth,
Pounding its atomic fists of electrons in a wave of energy,
Then wearily trickling into the muddy soil and
Absorbed into the mold
Yet altering the minerals and animalian
Bi-products into brown putty
That sticks to the knees of astounding innocence.
So many other drops accompany this one,
All changing before they’re evaporated,
The earth forgetting their memory
And crying out for the foreign knowledge
That returns, only to be taken for granted.
-------------------------------------------------

The Gothlings

The largest group of misfits
(They never really knew desolation)
Darkly cleaved like soupy ****.
(Living for the next earth-shattering sensation)

Booted,
Painted,
Band advertisements

Persons not into the scene prior to 7th grade
Illustrated as posers, picked apart
Their dues pressingly paid.
Papered spitballs on a yellowed bus ensue

(For mighty and formidable they became)
Pearly smiles in washed out black
(NOT poor, for $50 Vans – Benjamins for Martens)
Tightly knits, to smoke, like the weaves of a hacky sack.

Look at the back of her veloured shoulder
(As close as you’ll ever get)
Try to forget the ostrazation as you get older
(They labeled poor kids they’d never met)

Oh woe-is-me poetry
(“Look at the DAVID scratched in my wrist!”)
A desperate play called Morbidity
(“The Masquerade tonight – we insist!”)

Making rules, being the fools
(“She is NOT wearing the same NIN shirt as me!”)
J.T.H.M, Squee, E.A. Poe, Orgy – their Tools
(Yesterday, unaware of The Cure – in a player by the end of the week)

Push, impede, pressure, intimidate
(Obsession with weapons – because it scares you)
Their idols real, themselves imitate
(Innocuous insects – a thoughtless swarming brood)

Change – not stasis – fact of existence

By the present, grownups out of the cocoon and
Doubtful they looked back and remembered you;
Thought of the ways they increased your suffering,
Too immature to notice you hid your bleeding.

All about the Hot Topic label
And how much one could act unstable.
You didn’t act and weren’t a part of their piss-ant faction
(“Hey man, didn’t you know it was just fashion?”)
--------------------------------------------------

I lit a candle unto thee.
A storm brewed and squelched its light.
Now, I choose not to relight it.
It shall sit in the solitary dark
On a bare table whose wood has splintered and worn away.
It shall fend for itself.
I left the window open for the wind and rain to spill in.
The house by the sea sits brooding;
Quiet and now abandoned,
The sand and waves its only friends.

[Ned]

I actually was accepted into two PhD programs before I went to law school. I was also considering medicine - my Dad's choice. I don't recall any turn downs.

Must be that getting into grad school in my era, early '70s, was easy.

OTOH, my daughter did not get accepted into any med schools last year. She has been accepted into two this year - so far.