I think that, in real life, the last thing anyone of us wants are talking dogs.
"How come you get to get laid whenever you want, but my nuts got cut off before I got it
once?? Huh? HUH????"
"How come you get the (whatever we're eating for dinner) and I get the dry dog food? Oh, wait: pardon me - I'm being ungrateful. After all, sometimes you do drown it in warm water therefore gracing me with 'gravy'."
"Why don't you move your fat ass over on the bed for my convenience and comfort? Why don't I get any pillows? You never tell your wife to get off the bed when you eat, why must I?"
"Why'd you get the other dog? Wasn't I good enough?"
"DOWN WITH HUMANITY!!!!!!!"