LTEC!'s relationship advise corner now open.

LTEC! · April 1, 2003, 21:30

Yep. You read it. Spill your guts, although I don't promise a shoulder to cry on.

Disclaimer: Albert Speer, please abstain.

Alexander's Horse · April 1, 2003, 21:36

Okay, Mrs Horse and I had a fight on the weekend. She told me on Monday when we made up that she loves me but I'm stupid.

What should I do?

MRT144 · April 1, 2003, 21:38

if you ask a girl "can i stick it in your pooper" and she says no, but you do it anyway and claim it slipped, is that grounds for divorce?

Pekka · April 1, 2003, 21:39

Ok I need some advice with the ladies.

I seem to lack the abilities to maintain relationships. They usually end pretty quick. But they also end on my side too, I tend to end them pretty quickly too. I develop crashes very fast to women, but not any love. I think it's safe to say I haven't ever loved a woman. I fall for some qualitys I start hating next week. I just found them boring too soon. It's not their fault, it's in me. What is it with me? And no, I don't get with women every weekend, but when I do, this always happens.

And if she decides to dump me fast, it's not a problem, it's a relief, even if I feel like I liked her. I tend to push people away from me, even me friends. I don't like to talk about my personal stuff with ANYONE, or my feelings. This includes everyone. I used to talk to my dog, but she's no more and I can't get another pet so I don't know what I should do. Any advices, what's wrong with me?

KrazyHorse · April 1, 2003, 21:44

Quote:

Originally posted by MRT144
if you ask a girl "can i stick it in your pooper" and she says no, but you do it anyway and claim it slipped, is that grounds for divorce?

LTEC! · April 1, 2003, 21:48

Hi Horsie,
just tell your wife you can't help yourself but you love her too. (boy do i know what she means.)

LTEC! · April 1, 2003, 21:49

MRT.
you can't divorce a girl! you divorce a wife...

MRT144 · April 1, 2003, 21:52

i refer to all my wives as girls

Alexander's Horse · April 1, 2003, 21:56

Mrs Horse won't go out socially with me anymore i.e. sans the damn brats. We haven't been out together socially for 8 years.

Any ideas?

Lancer · April 1, 2003, 21:57

My relationship is great, pure wedded bliss. I'm so happy that I'm always smiling, my head in the clouds of fuzzy love type joy. My wife is the very best. We have total trust, we are as one.

What should I do?

Skanky Burns · April 1, 2003, 21:57

Send them to boarding schools!

MRT144 · April 1, 2003, 21:59

and skanky uncovers my ultimate parenting plan

Alexander's Horse · April 1, 2003, 22:01

Quote:

Originally posted by Lancer
My relationship is great, pure wedded bliss. I'm so happy that I'm always smiling, my head in the clouds of fuzzy love type joy. My wife is the very best. We have total trust, we are as one.

What should I do?

Translation: Lancer has chained his wife to the wall. Should we call the cops?

MRT144 · April 1, 2003, 22:05

or hes getting some as he types

Tuberski · April 1, 2003, 22:06

Quote:

Originally posted by Alexander's Horse
Mrs Horse won't go out socially with me anymore i.e. sans the damn brats. We haven't been out together socially for 8 years.

Any ideas?

The kids are obviously her excuse to be seen with you.

"Well, he is their father."

ACK!

KrazyHorse · April 1, 2003, 22:09

If I were her I'd be more embarassed to admit that.

KrazyHorse · April 1, 2003, 22:10

I've got one.

My girlfriend always wants to buy me things. What should I do?

Tuberski · April 1, 2003, 22:12

Quote:

Originally posted by Frogger
If I were her I'd be more embarassed to admit that.

She probably does what I do, blame alcohol.

ACK!

Urban Ranger · April 1, 2003, 22:13

Is it really all's fair in love and war? Is it okay if, um, all these other suitors of this woman face untimely demise?

Jaguar · April 1, 2003, 22:36

Serious question: a girls birthday is coming up, and she is having a party which I will be attending. Should I ask her out before, during, or after?

H Tower · April 1, 2003, 23:05

jesus, look at everyone beg for advice. "Oh look! A female poster! she can help me get laid!"

Timexwatch · April 1, 2003, 23:10

Well, she is MtG's wife. God knows she knows as much as he does.

monolith94 · April 1, 2003, 23:16

As opposed to you, who I suppose had just lost hope...

LTEC! · April 1, 2003, 23:25

To Pekka,
What i see is that you're interested in a relationship of the sake of having a relationship.
Relationships are cool if you're into them. But let me be give you a pragmatic approach:
First you have to figure out what it is you want out of a relationship and you have to establish what kind of a relationship you want, so you can figure out what kind of a person would be likely to want to have a go at something of the sort with you.

The main problem with stuff like this is that people assume a lot of things about the other person, which usually leads to a lot of distress.
In any case. I would suggest you hold off on having serious relationships in your mind and move into light relationships in real life. What youre basically doing is getting to know people and figuring out what you like and dislike. The sooner you figure it out, the easier it will be to sort out who you dig and who not to bother with.
And one of these days you'll run into some girl you think is just fantastic and digs you too.

monolith94 · April 1, 2003, 23:29

"First you have to figure out what it is you want out of a relationship"
Love
"you have to establish what kind of a relationship you want"
A relationship in which each partner revels in the other's similarities AND differences.
"you can figure out what kind of a person would be likely to want to have a go at something of the sort with you"
I want to say the words 'mature' and 'open-minded', but the word that I think is most appropriate is 'bemused'.

loinburger · April 1, 2003, 23:34

How do I figure out whether or not I'm going to have a religious schism with a girl, short of asking "So, are we going to have us a religous schism?"

KrazyHorse · April 1, 2003, 23:36

Figure out if religion is important to you.

If yes, hit yourself until it's not.

Once the answer is no, agree to any religious rite she wants, as long as it doesn't involve physical mutilation or sex with another man.

Apocalypse · April 1, 2003, 23:36

I use to talk with this one girl I really like about her breasts all the time, but now she doesn't want to discuss them anymore because she has kind of a bad conscience about it. And apparently our discussions about them are too objective.

I'd like to talk about them again but I don't know what to do.

Ben Kenobi · April 1, 2003, 23:37

I second Loinburger.

Ted Striker · April 1, 2003, 23:37

Mrs. MTG I am trying to be a player, can you tell me which strategy is more effective for winning chicks over?

1) Slapping hoes in the ass
2) Showing off my Star Wars knowledge