Grog Want Tank!!

Shiber · April 14, 2003, 17:11

Order your copy today!

GoW: sorry for using your capital's name.
Eli: sorry for plagiarising your avatar. It wasn't really "donated", I just copied it, but "Artwork donated by Eli" looks good on the cover IMHO.
It's all in good humor.

Eli · April 14, 2003, 17:12

Copyright infringement!!!

Shiber · April 14, 2003, 17:18

Well,

!!

Edit: you can get me back when you publish your own book, lewser!

GhengisFarb™ · April 14, 2003, 17:19

This actually was reviewed by the Imperial City Times. UnOrthO was pretty quick to get a paper going.

Shiber · April 14, 2003, 17:22

GhengisFarb, as an expert computer graphics guy: what do you think of the graphics?
It's not the best, I only put an hour into the concept and Photoshop work, but I'd like to hear some critique anyway.

Edit: I tried to make the headline look like it was made of gold. Only later I realized that it looks more like wood. Maybe I'll edit it tomorrow.

GhengisFarb™ · April 14, 2003, 17:33

I think it looks good, all of your graphics look very professional.

ixnay · April 14, 2003, 17:37

I think the text looks a bit too fancy (texture, bevel, and drop shadow), at least in contrast with the extremely simple red border around the text box.

Nuclear Winter · April 14, 2003, 21:00

I now have a theory :
Grog was not defeated ; The Immortal pushed Grog from the top of the mountain into certain death!

GeneralTacticus · April 14, 2003, 21:55

That counts as 'defeat', does it not?

Shiber · April 14, 2003, 23:03

GhengisFarb: thanks! That comes as a great compliment from you.
Ixnay: absolutely, I agree with that point. I think I'm going to redesign it today, this time with some book covers before my eyes.

Master Zen · April 15, 2003, 00:56

Currently the book is being sold like hotcakes in Imperial City, in fact pre-orders came in the thousands at Amazon.gow

...wait, our people can't read...

Aeson · April 15, 2003, 01:46

So it's a picture book? Or is literature how your citizens are heating their homes these days?

Master Zen · April 15, 2003, 04:08

It's probably a picture book... Grog was illiterate so there's not much he could have said.

I heard he spent a lot of time doing cave drawings of wierd futuristic tracked machines...

Shiber · April 15, 2003, 06:10

Quote:

Originally posted by Master Zen
It's probably a picture book... Grog was illiterate so there's not much he could have said.

Well, you're not missing much... most of what he said was "GROG WANT TANK!!" and "GROG WANT MEAT!!" and "GROG WANT UNDERFLOOR HEATING!!", whatever that is...

Tiberius · April 15, 2003, 06:42

I wonder if he said "GROG WANT SWORD", 'cause that's the only thing he got in the end. Ironically enough he got it from Vox.

Darekill · April 15, 2003, 07:23

I think Grog was missunderstood his whole life.
He never wanted a Panzer since he could not know what that is.
It is sometimes hot on the top of a hill where he used to live. Especially in the summer that can be realy painfull. So Grog wanted a tank. A watertank to cool himself down!

Gee nobody understood the poor late Grog!

Zero · April 15, 2003, 19:53

Quote:

Originally posted by Tiberius
I wonder if he said "GROG WANT SWORD", 'cause that's the only thing he got in the end. Ironically enough he got it from Vox.

ooooooooooooooh ouch. That was a good one.

kala · April 19, 2003, 17:28

Agree...

History Guy · April 19, 2003, 17:45

(an excerpt from the eulogy delivered by Father Grrrrrraaaarrrrgrrrrrwoofwoofgrrrrrrr)

Grog Jones was never the pride of China, I am loathe to report. Indeed, he was never quite respected as he should have been.

Before he entered the army, he was best known for his teacup collection, the finest in all of the domain of the Warmongers. Indeed, his skill at collecting porcelain was only overshadowed by his remarkable obsession with Lapsong Suchong, with lemons. And watercress sandwiches.

Grog always wore a polka-dot bow-tie, and went to the best Prep Schools, with which he always kept in touch. He was thus always a target for ridicule in his own land. Indeed, he was, to quote the immortal Jack Crabb, "a Goldurn Sissy". Unfortunately, with all the tea cozzies, pickled eggs, school ties, and croquet matches that filled his life, Grog was never recognized as the great man that he evidentally was.

Therefore, it comes as something slightly tragic when I remember how he was ridiculed in life, and now death, for those obsessions, and the final, greatest obsession of his life: the Septic Tank.

He loved them, he loved the way they worked, he was obsessed by them. Ultimately, though, they drove him to his death, for he was so busy calculating in his walnut-sized mind the price of a Septic Tank of his own that he never saw the sword thrust that ruined his school tie, and splattered his brains over his tweeds.

When you look upon a septic tank, a tea cozzy, or a croquet match, shed a tear for a real enthusiast, a man before his time: Grog Jones. May he be better remembered after his life ended, then he was regarded when he still walked this earth.

Shiber · April 19, 2003, 18:06

Thanks. This will go in the 2nd edition for sure, if you don't mind.

Theseus · April 20, 2003, 11:26

Grog shall be avenged!!!

You shall all drown in rivers of tea and ...

Oh.

Gross.

History Guy · April 20, 2003, 11:34

Shiber, sure.......

I can just feel the tears welling up in your eyes, guys. Grog was a good egg.

Had a voice that was a few decibles higher than that of most Warmongers, though...

asleepathewheel · April 20, 2003, 12:38

Grog is GS, not a warmonger, in case you were confused

nbarclay · April 20, 2003, 15:27

Not confused. Just talking about a different Grog.