New quotes for the new server please. - Page 4

Static Universe · May 1, 2003, 16:37

Quote:

Originally posted by alva
Just curious, what is reason for the " % " to be included.

Perhaps it's the entries delimiter in the quotes file.

flash9286 · May 1, 2003, 16:55

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

Edit: I dont how to do the code crap, can somebody do it for me

Immortal Wombat · May 1, 2003, 17:19

Code:

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)
%

Panag · May 1, 2003, 17:50

hi ,

Code:

SOF Mythology 
 
 

The 5 Scariest Things in the Army! 


1. A Private saying, "I learned this in basic training..." 
2. A Sergeant saying, "Trust me, sir..." 
3. A Second Lieutenant saying, "Based on my experience..." 
4. A Captain saying, "I was just thinking..."
5. And a Warrant Officer chuckling, "Watch this $%!#..." 
 
 
%

have a nice day

Skanky Burns · May 1, 2003, 19:01

[code]
Insert your quote here.
%
[/code]

This is the exact code you need to copy to get your quotes to appear as above. Just cut-n-paste.

Don't forget to replace "Insert your quote here." with something actually interesting though.

flash9286 · May 1, 2003, 20:47

ah, thank you skanky

Nikolai · May 1, 2003, 21:07

Code:

God is dead
-Nietzsche-

Nietzsche is dead
-God-

%

EDIT: Spelling.

DarkCloud · May 1, 2003, 21:56

Nikolai- Nietzsche is ususally spelled with a Z in English... apologies on correcting you since your norsk is probably better than ming, but it's true

vovan · May 1, 2003, 22:20

Ummm... Not that I am an expert on English or anything, but I think the guy's name is correctly spelled as Nietzsche, or so the google directory of phylosophers says.

( http://directory.google.com/Top/Soci...riedrich/?tc=1 )

vovan · May 1, 2003, 22:25

Okay, now it is time for some geeky programmer's quotes.

Code:

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one. But it takes him all night. And when he's done, the refrigerator and toilet are broken!

%

Code:

This is an object-oriented system. If we change anything, the users object.

%

Code:

Before C++ we had to code all of bugs by hand; now we inherit them.

%

Code:

C gives you enough rope to hang yourself. C++ also gives you the tree object to tie it to.

%

Code:

C++ is like teenage sex, because:
It is on everyone's mind all the time. 
Everyone talks about it all the time. 
Everyone thinks everyone else is doing it. 
Almost no one is really doing it. 

The few who are doing it are: 
Doing it poorly. 
Sure it will be better next time. 
Not practicing it safely. 
Everyone's bragging about their successes all the time, although very few have actually had any

%

Code:

It said "Insert disk 3..." but only 2 fit. 

%

Code:

Maintenance-free: When it breaks, it can't be fixed...

%

vovan · May 1, 2003, 22:32

And some others:

Code:

The graphics remind me of Quake; 256 shades of brown

%

The next one is one of my all-time favourites:

Code:

Bagpipes-(noun)-I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made object never equalled the purity of sound achieved by the pig. 
-Alfred Hitchcock

%

I might have seen the next one from this very site, so I apologize if it is already in, but it's a good one nonetheless:

Code:

The first human who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilisation.
-- Sigmund Freud

%

Code:

I tried computer dating once; I decided I preferred women

%

Code:

If the spoon don't dissolve, it ain't coffee!

%

Code:

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

%

Code:

The meek shall inherit the earth, if it's ok with you.

%

Code:

War doesn't decide who's right. Only who's left.

%

Code:

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse...

%

vovan · May 1, 2003, 22:39

Oh, and of course, one of my favourite quotes from Nietzsche:

Code:

Noone has ever died of truth: there are too many antidotes.
    -- Friedrich Nietzsche

Martin Gühmann · May 2, 2003, 11:04

Even if these quotes are posted at the right place they were never added, so why Marcos?

Code:

2100 BC: The first order of business is to learn what really happened to the late Apolyton XVII. A drunken barbarian , captured outside Memphis, and is cooked slowly over an open fire. (This procedure is called "barbaricueing".) The spit-roast protests that there had been an "unfortunate hunting accident", but after further basting he reveals that the barbarian warriors were hunting marsupials. Her-mann cries to the Sun God for vengeance! 
--Hermann the Lombard as Her-mann V, Apolyton XVIII of Egypt: The Empire of Ra (CTP2 Succession Game V)
%

Code:

Immortal Wombat: I got a weird result when I set it up to return the unit's defence value. I got hoplites that wouldn't die. It killed a tank.
Peter Triggs: So, IW, another Civ3 feature that we can import into CTP2.
%

-Martin

Ignorance · May 2, 2003, 11:12

Code:

Everything that can be invented has been invented.
	-Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899
%
Getting information from the internet is like getting a glass of water from
the Niagara.
	-Arthur C. Clarke
%
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the
experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination
to do so.
	-Douglas Adams
%
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause
and reflect.
	-Mark Twain
%
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
	-Will Rogers
%
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never
remembers her age.
	-Robert Lee Frost
%
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite
you.  This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
	-Mark Twain
%
"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us
with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forego their use."
	-Galileo Galilei
%
The probability of someone watching you is
proportional to the stupidity of your action.
	-A. Kindsvater
%
If I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.
	-Samuel Goldwyn
%
Why inflict pain on oneself, when so many others are ready to save us the
trouble.
	-George W. Pachaud
%
Politics is derived from two words: poly meaning many, and tics meaning
small blood-sucking insects.
	-Chris Clayton
%
There are two rules for success: 1) Never tell everything you know.
	-Roger H. Lincoln
%
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
	-Isaac Asimov, Salvor Hardin in "Foundation"
%
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone,
but they've always worked for me
	-Hunter S. Thompson
%
All great truths begin as blasphemies.
	-George Bernard Shaw
%
What if there were no hypothetical situations?
	-Andrew Kohlsmith
%
After all, what is your hosts' purpose in having a party? Surely not for you
to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent
champagne and women over to your place by taxi.
	-P. J. O'Rourke
%
All I want is a warm bed and a kind word and unlimited power
	-Ashleigh Brilliant
%
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and
get used to the idea.
	-Robert A. Heinlein
%
The question of whether computers can think is like the question of whether
submarines can swim.
	-Edsger Dijkstra
%
A good question is never answered.  It is not a bolt to be tightened
into place but a seed to be planted and to bear more seed toward the
hope of greening the landscape of idea.
	-John Ciardi
%
"The chessboard is the world, the pieces are the phenomena of the
universe, the rules of the game are the laws of nature. The player
on the other side is hidden from us."
	-Thomas Henry Huxley
%
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the 
rest of your life.
	-Michael Sinz
%
If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human
face - forever
	-1984, George Orwell
%
Science is like sex: Sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not
the reason we are doing it.
	-Richard Feynman
%
The inspiration of the Bible depends on the ignorance of the person who
reads it.
	-Robert G. Ingersoll
%
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward,
then we are a sorry lot indeed.
	-Albert Einstein
%
Whenever I think of how religion started, I picture some frustrated old man
making out a list of all the ways he could gain power, until he finally came
up with the great solution of constant fear and guilt, then he leaped up and
started planning a new wardrobe.
	-Steve Blake, An Incarnation Of God Is Absurd
%
I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than
you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you
will understand why I dismiss yours.
	-Stephen Roberts
%
I don't think we're [here] for anything, we're just products of evolution.
You can say 'Gee, your life must be pretty bleak if you don't think there's
a purpose' but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
	-Dr. James Watson, Nobel laureate and co-discoverer of DNA
%
Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the
improbable. A man full of faith is simply one who has lost (or never had)
the capacity for clear and realistic thought. He is not a mere ass: he is
actually ill.
	-Henry Lewis "H.L." Mencken
%
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety
deserve neither liberty nor safety.
	-Benjamin Franklin, Historical Review of Pennsylvania, 1759.
%
The price of liberty is, always has been, and always will be blood.  The
person who is not willing to die for his liberty has already lost it to the
first scoundrel who is willing to risk dying to violate that person's
liberty.  Are you free? 
	-Andrew Ford
%
Still, if you will not fight for the right when you can easily win without
bloodshed, if you will not fight when your victory will be sure and not so
costly, you may come to the moment when you will have to fight with all the
odds against you and only a precarious chance for survival. There may be a
worse case.  You may have to fight when there is no chance of victory,
because it is better to perish than to live as slaves.
	-Winston Churchill
%
Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous. If a man really wants to make a
million dollars, the best way would be to start his own religion.
	-L. Ron Hubbard, founder of Scientology
%
The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the development
time. The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the
development time.
	-Ninety-Ninety Rule, attributed to Tom Cargill of Bell Labs
%
"The average person thinks he isn't."
	-Father Larry Lorenzoni
%
God is the only being who, in order to rule, does not need to even exist.
	-Voltaire
%

Nikolai · May 2, 2003, 12:40

Quote:

Originally posted by DarkCloud
Nikolai- Nietzsche is ususally spelled with a Z in English... apologies on correcting you since your norsk is probably better than ming, but it's true

I was actually unsure how to spell it, but my search on google gave me too many different answers.

Then I asked my father...

Well......blame him!

Panag · May 2, 2003, 13:27

hi ,

Code:

 

Little Birds
Anon

From Grenada’s green jungle hilltops
To Mogadishu’s fiery desert sky
Through Panama’s concrete urban sprawl
The Little Bird unwavering did fly.

Whether delivering precious cargo
Or protecting brothers on the ground
Little Bird to hell and back again
Courage, skill and daring in abundance found.

And while not wearing the eagle’s wide wings
Many a furious and deadly surprise
Has been sprung on those foolish enough
To judge this bird by its size

A word of warning to their enemies:
The dark of night is your friend no more
Because Death comes in many forms
And tonight it’s at your door.


%

have a nice day

flash9286 · May 3, 2003, 07:34

Code:

Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
George W Bush
%

flash9286 · May 3, 2003, 07:45

Code:

We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself
George W Bush
%

Panag · May 3, 2003, 09:05

hi ,

Code:


when they can put a man on the moon and one on the bottom of the sea , you can succeed in commando training , ......

%

have a nice day

DarkCloud · May 6, 2003, 22:47

Here, if someone wants to convert some of them:

Here's some from the Iraqi Minister of Information

"There are no American infidels in Baghdad. Never!"
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"My feelings - as usual - we will slaughter them all"
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"Our initial assessment is that they will all die"
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"I blame Al-Jazeera - they are marketing for the Americans!"
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"God will roast their stomachs in hell at the hands of Iraqis."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"They're coming to surrender or be burned in their tanks."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"No I am not scared, and neither should you be!"
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"Be assured. Baghdad is safe, protected"
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"Who are in control, they are not in control of anything - they don't even control themselves!"
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"We are not afraid of the Americans. Allah has condemned them. They are stupid. They are stupid" (dramatic pause) "and they are condemned."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"The Americans, they always depend on a method what I call ... stupid, silly. All I ask is check yourself. Do not in fact repeat their lies."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"I can say, and I am responsible for what I am saying, that they have
started to commit suicide under the walls of Baghdad. We
will encourage them to commit more suicides quickly."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"I can assure you that those villains will recognize, will discover in appropriate time in the future how stupid they are and how they are pretending things which have never taken place."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"We have destroyed 2 tanks, fighter planes, 2 helicopters and their shovels - We have driven them back."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"The authority of the civil defense ... issued a warning to the civilian population not to pick up any of those pencils because they are booby traps," he said, adding that the British and American forces were "immoral mercenaries" and "war criminals" for such behavior.
"I am not talking about the American people and the British people," he said. "I am talking about those mercenaries. ... They have started throwing those pencils, but they are not pencils, they are booby traps to kill the children."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"We have them surrounded in their tanks"
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"The American press is all about lies! All they tell is lies, lies and more lies!"
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"I have detailed information about the situation...which completely proves that what they allege are illusions . . . They lie every day."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"Lying is forbidden in Iraq. President Saddam Hussein will tolerate nothing but truthfulness as he is a man of great honor and integrity. Everyone is encouraged to speak freely of the truths evidenced in their eyes and hearts."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"Now even the American command is under siege. We are hitting it from the north, east, south and west. We chase them here and they chase us there. But at the end we are the people who are laying siege to them. And it is not them who are besieging us."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"Let the American infidels bask in their illusion"
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"I triple guarantee you, there are no American soldiers in Baghdad."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

Britain "is not worth an old shoe"
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"we have given them a sour taste"
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

Of US troops: "They are most welcome. We will butcher them."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"We will welcome them with bullets and shoes."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"We are in control. They are in a state of hysteria. Losers, they think that by killing civilians and trying to distort the feelings of the people they will win. I think they will not win, those bastards."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"The British forces which were dropped there have been eliminated mostly on the (battle)field, except for those who fled ... It is a complete defeat ... Amazingly the Americans have pushed the British to do that. They pushed them ahead as if it is an experiment. The result was very tragic for the British."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

“We have placed them in a quagmire from which they can never emerge except dead”
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"Washington has thrown their soldiers on the fire"
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"I speak better English than this villain Bush"
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"These cowards have no morals. They have no shame about lying"
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"They're not even [within] 100 miles [of Baghdad]. They are not in any
place. They hold no place in Iraq. This is an illusion ... they are
trying to sell to the others an illusion."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"Their failure in this regard is abysmal. They want to tell the world changes thought - as a matter of fact, they do not respect the world, they want to tell taxpayers and the domestic public to keep them deceived. We will embroil them, confuse them and keep them in the quagmire. They have begun to tell more lies so that they might continue with the perpetration of their crimes. May they be accursed."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"We will kill them all........most of them."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"They are like a snake and we are going to cut it in pieces."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"They do not even have control over themselves! Do not believe them!"
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"I would like to clarify a simple fact here: How can you lay siege to a whole country? Who is really under siege now? Baghdad cannot be besieged. Al-Nasiriyah cannot be besieged. Basra cannot be besieged."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"That bastard the American Minister of Defense Rumsfeld, and I won't say shamelessly, because they don't know what shame means. These are criminals. The whole word can hear the warning sirens. This criminal sitting in the White House is a pathetic criminal and his Defense Minister deserves to be beaten. These criminals lie to the world because they are criminals by nature and conditioning. They consider this a military site! Shame on you! You will forever be shamed! You have ruined the reputation of the American people in the most terrible way! Shame on you! And we will destroy you!"
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"They are trapped in Umm Qasr. They are trapped near Basra. They are trapped near Nasiriyah. They are trapped near Najaf. They are trapped everywhere."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"they are nowhere near the airport ..they are lost in the desert...they can not read a compass...they are retarded."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"They are not in Baghdad. They are not in control of any airport. I tell you this. It is all a lie. They lie. It is a hollywood movie. You do not believe them."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"Faltering forces of infidels cannot just enter a country of 26 million people and lay besiege to them! They are the ones who will find themselves under siege. Therefore, in reality whatever this miserable Rumsfeld has been saying, he was talking about his own forces. Now even the American command is under siege."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"They tried to bring a small number of tanks and personnel carriers in through al-Durah but they were surrounded and most of their infidels had their throats cut."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"Our estimates are that none of them will come out alive unless they surrender to us quickly."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"We made them drink poison last night and Saddam Hussein's soldiers and his great forces gave the Americans a lesson which will not be forgotten by history. Truly."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"On this occasion, I am not going to mention the number of the infidels who were killed and the number of destroyed vehicles. The operation continues"
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"Today we slaughtered them in the airport. They are out of Saddam International Airport."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"The force that was in the airport, this force was destroyed."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"We're giving them a real lesson today. Heavy doesn't accurately describe the level of casualties we have inflicted."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"Their infidels are committing suicide by the hundreds on the gates of Baghdad. Be assured, Baghdad is safe, protected."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"Today I have visited whole Baghdad city, no invaders found. You go and see how we have ousted them from this city. They are cying outside and waiting to receive bullets. They will be killed shortly."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"These images are not the suburbs of Baghdad. From what I glimpsed, these gardens with rows of palm trees on the side, which you saw in the images, are located in the south of Abu Ghreib, where we have surrounded the Americans and British."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

When told coalition troops occupied Baghdad airport -
"...at Saddam Airport? Now that's just silly!"
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"The situation is excellent, they are going to try to approach Baghdad...and I believe their grave will be there."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"NO", snapped Mr al-Sahaf, "We have retaken the airport. There are NO Americans there. I will take you there and show you. IN ONE HOUR!"
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"We defeated them yesterday. God willing, I will provide you with more information. I swear by God, I swear by God, those who are staying in Washington and London have thrown these mercenaries in a crematorium."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"Please, please! The Americans are relying on what I called yesterday a desperate and stupid method."
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"They will be burnt. We are going to tackle them"
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%

"We are winning!"
-Iraqi Minister of Information
%
----
More from here: http://www.welovetheiraqiinformation...er.com/#quotes

Panag · May 7, 2003, 05:14

hi ,

dc , you forgot the code , .....

Code:



The 25 Commandments of Operational Security 

(also known as "The SAS Guide to OPSEC")

I. Thou shalt not park thy helicopter in the open, for it bringeth the rain of steel. 

II. Thou shalt not expose thy shiny mess gear, for it bringeth unwanted guests to chow. 

III. Thou shalt not wear white T-shirts, or thine enemies will dye them red. 

IV. Thou shalt provide overhead concealment, for thine enemies' eyes are upon thee. 

V. Thou shalt cover thy tall antenna, for fly swatters groweth not in yon wood. 

VI. Thou shalt use a red lens on thy flashlight, or it shall appear as a star in the East. 

VII. Thou shalt cover the glass on thy vehicle, for the glare telleth thine enemy thy location. 

VIII. Thou shalt blend with thy surroundings, for trees groweth not in yon desert. 

IX. Thou shalt cover the tracks of thy vehicle, for they draweth pretty pictures. 

X. Thou shalt cover thy face, hands, and helmet, for thine enemies maketh war not on bushes. 

XI. Thou shalt not drape thy net on thy tent, for it looketh like tent draped in net. 

XII. Thou shalt hide the wires of thy cammo, for they pointeth to thee. 

XIII. Thou shalt practice the art of dispersion, or one round will finish you all. 

XIV. Thou shalt pick up thy trash and litter, for they exposeth thy presence. 

XV. Thou shalt conceal the noise of thy generator, for thine enemies are listening. 

Special thanks to .... Gord Deugau


%

, .... those guys cant count , ..... no wonder they loose the money each time , ....

have a nice day

DarkCloud · May 7, 2003, 22:14

I said I did- I didn't really care that much unless someone else actually liked the quotations I had found- didn't you read my post. AT ALL?

and where are you getting all these military quotes?

Straybow · May 8, 2003, 16:07

Panag or Gord Deugau (or both) need to learn how to count…

Skanky Burns · May 9, 2003, 23:51

Code:

"This isn't a Democracy here"
 - Ming
%

VJ · May 10, 2003, 02:38

Code:

Hitler was a leftist.
  -- Fez
%

Sirotnikov · May 10, 2003, 05:59

Code:

The post you just submited is a free ticket to Mingapulco. Edit it before I read it

-- Ming

%

hi ,

can you go somewhere else to post your BS , thanks

have a nice day

-- Panag

%

If trout-slapping was illegal, only criminals would trout-slap.

-- Aggie

%

I believe OS/2 is destined to be the most important operating system, and possibly program, of all time. As the successor to DOS, which has over 10,000,000 systems in use, it creates incredible opportunities for everyone involved with PCs.

-- Bill Gates - OS/2 Programmer's Guide

%

The Internet? We are not interested in it

-- Bill Gates, 1993

%

In response to Java: "Anybody who thinks a little 9,000-line program that's distributed free and can be cloned by anyone is going to affect anything we do at Microsoft has his head screwed on wrong."

-- Bill Gates

%

"Microsoft Products are Generally Bug Free"
-- Bill Gates

%

"There are people who don't like capitalism, and there are people who don't like PCs, but there's no one who likes the PC who doesn't like Microsoft."

-- Bill Gates

%

Violence never solved anything.

-- Genghis Khan

%

"Democracy is the worst possible form of government, except of course for all the others"
-- Winston Churchill

%

Quantity has a quality all of its own
-- Stalin

%

Die? My dear fellow, that's the last thing I'll do
-- Oscar Wilde

%

I don't know HOW we won
-- Spike Milligan, on WW2 outcome

%

Stock funded corporations are the worst form of business
--Adam Smith

%

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
-- Abraham Lincoln

%

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
-- JFK

%

Taxation without representation is tyranny.
-- James Otis

%

Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

-- Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989

%

We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for."

-- From "Dead Poets Society

%

Wadsworth: Professor Plum, you were once a professor of psychiatry specializing in helping paranoid and homicidal lunatics suffering from delusions of grandeur.
Professor Plum: Yes, but now I work for the United Nations.
Wadsworth: Well your work has not changed.

-- From: Clue

%

Harry: Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.

-- From Dumb and Dumber

%

Tyler: You are not your job. You are not the money in your bank account. You are not the car you drive. You are not how much money is in your wallet. You are not your ****ing khakis. You are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

-- From Fight Club

%

Rimmer: My god we'll rescue these fair blooms or my name's not Captain AJ Rimmer, Space Adventurer!

Lister: Space Adventurer?!

Rimmer: Well what was I supposed to say? "Fear not, we're the guys who used to clean the gunk out of the chicken soup machine. We know nothing about space travel, but if you've got a blocked nozzle then we're your lads!"?

-- From Red Dwarf

%

Kryten: Fun? Ah yes, the employment of time in a profitless and non-practical way.

-- From Red Dwarf

%

LISTER: Cat?
CAT: Mmm?
LISTER: Ya ever see the Flintstones?
CAT: Sure!
LISTER: D'ya think Wilma's sexy?
CAT: Wilma Flintstone?
LISTER: Maybe we've been alone in deep space too long, but every time I see that show her body, it drives me crazy. Is it me?
CAT: Well, I think in all probability, Wilma Flintstone is the most desirable woman that ever lived.
LISTER: That's good. I thought I was goin' strange.
CAT: She's incredible!
LISTER: What d'ya think of Betty?
CAT: Betty Rubble? (pause) Well, I would go with Betty... but I'd be thinking of Wilma.
LISTER: This is crazy. Why are we talking about going to bed with Wilma Flintstone?
CAT: You're right. We're nuts. This is an insane conversation.
LISTER: She'll never leave Fred, and we know it.

-- From Red Dwarf

%

Madam, I may be drunk, but you are ugly, and tommorrow I shall be sober.
-- Winston Churchill, on being accused of drunkeness in the House of Commons

%

Panag · May 10, 2003, 08:11

hi ,

Code:

Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790)

No one gossips about other people's secret virtues.
Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)

Look in the mirror. The face that pins you with its double gaze reveals a chastening secret.
Diane Ackerman

There are no secrets better kept than the secrets that everybody guesses.
George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950), "Mrs. Warren's Profession" (1893), act III

If you reveal your secrets to the wind you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees.
Kahlil Gibran (1883 - 1931)

A neurosis is a secret that you don't know you are keeping.
Kenneth Tynan

The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart.
Saint Jerome (374 AD - 419 AD)

Secret thoughts and open countenance will go safely over the whole world.
Scipione Alberti


%

have a nice quoting day

Sirotnikov · May 13, 2003, 20:59

Code:

"Do not touch anything unnecessarily. Beware of pretty girls in dance halls and parks who may be spies, as well as bicycles, revolvers, uniforms, arms, dead horses, and men lying on roads -- they are not there accidentally."
-- Soviet infantry manual, issued in the 1930's

%

One of the serious problems in planning the fight against American doctrine, is that the Americans do not read their manuals, nor do they feel any obligation to follow their doctrine...
-- From a Soviet Junior Lt.s Notebook

%

"The best tank terrain is that without anti-tank weapons."
-- Russian military doctrine.

%

"Hit the other fellow, as quick as you can, and as hard as you can, where it hurts him most, when he ain't lookin'."
-- Unrecorded British sergeant-major, (On the definition of strategy)

%

"The reason the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices it on a daily basis."
-- From a post-war debriefing of a German General

%

The best armor is staying out of gun-shot.
-- Italian proverb

%

There is no problem that cannot be solved by the use of high explosives.
-- Bumper Sticker

%

You can have my gun when you pry it from my paranoid, mentally disturbed, physically-abusive, cold, dead hand.
-- Bumper sticker

%

Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn
-- Unknown

%

Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for
-- Unknown

%

A nuclear war can ruin your whole day
-- Unknown

%

Draft beer, not people
-- Unknown

%

"Airplanes suffers from so many technical faults that it is only a matter of time before any reasonable man realizes that they are useless!"
-- Scientific American (1910)

%

"No flying machine will ever fly from New York to Paris."
-- Orville Wright.

%

"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value."
-- Marshal Ferdinand Foch [Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre] (circa 1911) He was Supreme Commander of Allied forces, 1918

%

"Aviation is good for sport, but for the Army it is useless!"
-- Marshal Ferdinand Foch [Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre] (circa 1911) He was Supreme Commander of Allied forces, 1918

%

"The only thing that will happen is that the vessel will sink, and suffocate the crew"
-- H. G. Wells, English writer(1902) (Submarines had been used since ca. 1850) (On submarines)

%

"Even if a submarine should work by a miracle, it will never be used. No country in this world would ever use such a vicious and petty form of warfare!"
-- William Henderson, British admiral(1914)

%

"Samuel Morse most have lost his mind if he believes in this idea himself!"
-- Senator Oliver Hampton Smith, (1842) after having seen a demonstration of Morse's new invention.

%

"It is only righteous that Joshua Coppersmiths, who has tried to find investors to finance the development of a so-called telephone, is arrested for fraud!"
-- An article in the Boston Post (1865)

%

"The radio has no future!"
-- Lord Kelvin, British Mathematician(1897)

%

"Use your time on something useful. All radios this country will ever need can easily fit on my desk!"
-- W.W. Dean, director of the American phone company "W.W. Dean"(1907), to Lee DeForrest (one of radios first pioneers)

%

"Radio is just a fashion contrivance that will soon die out. It is obvious that there never will be invented a proper receiver!"
-- Thomas Edison

%

"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?"
-- David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s

%

"We trained very hard, but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form into teams we would be reorganized. I was to learn in this life that we tend to meet any situation by reorganizing. And a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency, and demoralization."
-- Uknown

%

"I do not like this word "bomb." It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding."
-- French ambassador to New Zealand Jacques le Blanc, regarding press coverage of France's nuclear weapons tests in the Pacific

%

"Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait. "
-- A. Whitney Brown

%

"Gentlemen, we are being killed on the beaches. Lets go inland and be killed."
-- General Norman Cota: Omaha Beach, 1944

%

"We are outnumbered, there is only one thing to do. We must attack!"
-- Admiral Andrew Cunningham, 11 November 1940. Before attacking the Italian fleet at Taranto

%

"Army: A body of men assembled to rectify the mistakes of the diplomats."
-- Josephus Daniels

%

"We are going to fins a solution to the Middle East conflict as soon as the Arabs agrees with us.."
-- Moshe Dayan, Israeli Minister of Defense during the Six Say War (1967)

%

"Hard pressed on my right; my left is in retreat. My center is yielding. Impossible to maneuver. Situation excellent. I am attacking. Attaquez!"
-- General Ferdinand Foch (to General Joffre during Battle of the Marne)

%

"It take 15,000 casualties to train a major general."
-- Ferdinand Foch

"I never trust a fighting man who doesnt smoke or drink."
-- Admiral William Halsey

%

"Which brings me to perception. Some of you may remember Commander General Conway's speech before we left Kuwait, he mentioned those who don't support us. To quote him he said: ‘Piss on them'."
-- Lieutenant Colonel Piers Hankinson, commander of the 2nd Royal Tank Regiment

%

"The atom bomb will never go off, and I speak as an expert in explosives."
-- Admiral William Leahy to President Truman before the first atomic bomb was dropped on Hiroshima.

%

"All you have to do is go down to the bottom of your swimming pool and hold your breath."
-- David Miller, US DOE spokesperson, on protecting yourself from nuclear radiation

%

"You're planning to make a ship sail against wind and tide by lighting a fire below deck?? I don't have time to listen to that kind of nonsense!"
-- Napoleon, about Robert Fultons plans to make a Steamboat.

%

"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version."
-- Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony

%

"All right, they're on our left, they're on our right, they're in front of us, they're behind us...they can't get away this time"
-- Lt Gen Lewis B. Puller, USMC

%

"Paper-work will ruin any military force"
-- Lieutenant-General Lewis B. "Chesty" Puller

%

"Just drive down that road, until you get blown up"
-- General George Patton, about reconnaissance troops

%

"I'd rather have a German Division in front of me than a French one behind."
-- General George S. Patton

%

"We're surrounded. That simplifies the problem."
-- Chesty Puller, USMC

%

"My fellow Americans. I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes."
-- President Reagan, before a scheduled radio broadcast, unaware that the microphone was already on

%

"Never underestimate the power of world domination!"
-- 1. Lt. Rekve's solution to all the problems in the world.

%

"When the military man approaches, the world locks up its spoons and packs off its womankind."
- George Bernard Shaw

%

"The Pope! how many divisions has he got?"
- Stalin in 1935, responding to a French visitor asking if he thought Pope Pius XI might prove to be an ally.

"Tell my son Josef that he will meet my divisions in eternity."
- Reply from the Pope when he heard the story years later.

%

Tuberski · May 13, 2003, 21:05

Code:

 This quote will self-destruct in 5 seconds.
%

Panag · May 14, 2003, 13:12

hi ,

Code:

also i heard the voice of the lord saying who shall i send , and who will go for us ? then sais i , here am i , send me .

%

have a nice day while quoting