Comments on University Saga

[DarkCloud]

If you have any improvement ideas or just want to say you read the story, please do so here:

[Blake]

quote: If you have any improvement ideas or just want to say you read the story, please do so here:

I just want to say I read the story

...

And it rules

Just have to point out that part of the story is double posted :
Chapter VIII 5/12 “Dance to the Music”
and the next few chapters are posted twice

And the correct spelling of Domai is Domai and not Domani , "Domani" is how I used to say and spell his name, until I actually *read* it carefully

[DarkCloud]

Okay thanks, I'll fix the Domani in later editions and I will delete the double posts.

Thank you for reading, I was thinking for a while there that only Googlie and LMP actually read my story and it was becoming demoralizing...

But now, I might write up a few new quick good chapters!

[DarkCloud]

Should I update this story... I have made some typing changes for a third edition fixing up the first 2 chapters... I could possibly add more chapters to the end.

(Just bumping this to show Michael Ely what type of an author I am , please excuse the bad grammer, I wrote the first version of the story in 7 days, in a total of 23 hours or so...

[Kassiopeia]

Excuse the bad grammer...

I am no Michael Ely, but the story is so great, that if it would be converted in to a skyscraper that is as long as this story is great, it's top floor would be torched in the sun!!!

[DarkCloud]

Thanks for the comments!
I tried to make the story as humorous and interesting as I could

[Alynzia]

This is possibly the second story I read when I first came to the forum and I thought it was really cool.

I would have said I loved it earlier, but I thought that you shouldn't really dredge up a comments thread for a story that was not current.

I like your slightly bonkers Zakharov. I thought it would have been cool if he beat to death someone with a hefty book called 'How To Control Your Violent Impulses'!

Anyway, it's a great story and so different to all the others. It is quite an achievement.

Alynzia.

[DarkCloud]

Thanks Alynza- your "From Hivera With Love" story was the one that inspired my Tim Bondt character and the style for the story.

That book scene may come later in the book

I'll write some new stuff when I can. I have already revised the first 2 chapters to make them sound at least more professional.

But a summary of the story for those who didn't read it all yet:

---
-Peacekeeper Probe (Tim Bondt)---caught by Zakharov

-Zak's head advisor- Zwiziaonia (formerly the man formerly known as Prince) is mistakenly taken to the torture room

-Bondt escapes with some vital University secrets

-A group of thugs beat him up and steal the secrets

-They have dreams sent to them by a Zakharov Pixie which tells them to give the secrets to Zakharov

-Bondt wanders into a hospital and is thrown out of a high window.

-etc. for 27 more pages

----
thank you all readers- I never knew so many people read my fiction and liked it

[Sealurk]

First class writing. That should be made into a movie of some sort, perhaps a 'Casino Royale'-esque type parody and what that did to James Bond. Great work though, as a reward I will send you my greatest work, 'How to Quickly and Efficiently Bludgeon people to Death With Heavy Books', which includes a prologue of 'How to Beat Someone with a Seatbelt and Win While Being Hit by A Rifle Butt'

[DarkCloud]

Thank's for the comments.
I added a few new chapters, and when I get my files able to access the word file, I will type up some more chapters and begin to wrap it up.

Upcoming-
Three Stories

1. Bondt/Dark Cloud caught by Pirates
2. NATO vs. NAFTA
3. Zakharov's troubles
4. Deidre/Lal
5. NATO's Spartans vs the other types
6. Cyborg/Caretaker raids and quest for independence
7. Hive