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Old May 13, 2003, 17:33   #1
Provost Harrison
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A question - why are vampires always clean-shaven?
You know, I've watched all these vampire films and they are always marvellously well shaven...but how do they shave effectively when they cannot see their own reflection? Just something to think about there
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Old May 13, 2003, 17:37   #2
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They are dead so they don't grow more hair.
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Old May 13, 2003, 17:38   #3
Provost Harrison
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Quote:
Originally posted by Skanky Burns
They are dead so they don't grow more hair.
That is a rather broad and sweeping assumption. Do you have any evidence to back up the fact they wouldn't grow facial hair?
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Old May 13, 2003, 17:40   #4
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So they don't get scabs in their beards.
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Old May 13, 2003, 17:43   #5
Skanky Burns
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100% of vampires that I have met didn't grow any facial hair. Ever.
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Old May 13, 2003, 17:47   #6
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Fingernails and hair actually grow for a little while after you're dead. Your intestines still function, too, so dead people can defecate.

And vampires are seen as sexy in our culture. Scraggily and hairy isn't usually sexy.
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Old May 13, 2003, 17:54   #7
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Wait. Count Blackula has a mustache.
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Old May 13, 2003, 17:57   #8
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Oh, and Dracula had facial hair in the Gary Oldman film of a few years ago, when he was in London.
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Old May 13, 2003, 17:58   #9
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Quote:
Originally posted by Skanky Burns
They are dead so they don't grow more hair.
Vampires are NOT dead.
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Old May 13, 2003, 18:05   #10
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Quote:
Originally posted by Hueij

Vampires are NOT dead.
No, UNdead, big difference. About the hair, waxing.
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Old May 13, 2003, 18:06   #11
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Because the growth process stops when you become a vampire, that is why, in "Interview w/a Vampire" the little girl stayed a little girl and why vampires don't grow beards.

ACK!
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Old May 13, 2003, 18:06   #12
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I think Count Numbula and Chocula have at least pencil mustaches as well, so, once again, Provost is full of it.
And if I recall, "The Lost Boys" was full of hairy vampires.

Ha ha, you suck.
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Old May 13, 2003, 18:08   #13
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Quote:
Originally posted by Boris Godunov
Wait. Count Blackula has a mustache.
He also had one of the most atrocious afros I have ever seen.
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Old May 13, 2003, 18:09   #14
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You think so? I don't think it's too bad.
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Old May 13, 2003, 18:12   #15
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Hair and nails do not grow after your death, it's just your skin kinda sniks, so more of the hair shows 'n' stuff.
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Old May 13, 2003, 18:15   #16
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I guess blackula wasn't as 'fro-y as I remembered. It's been a long time since I saw that trashy little waste of film.
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Old May 13, 2003, 18:17   #17
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Yep...he's got a goat.http://pbskids.org/sesame/coloring/1.html
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Old May 13, 2003, 19:21   #18
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Check out Van Richten's Guide to Vampires, wherein he describes all the reasons why they can eat and defecate, but can't actually digest their food.

On an unrelated note, if Medusa had snakes for hair, didn't that make it difficult to spray deodorant on her armpits?

(And don't follow that train of logic any further down, either.)
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Old May 13, 2003, 20:07   #19
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The actor who played Pee Wee Herman played a vamp. with plenty of facial hair in the Buffy movie.
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Old May 13, 2003, 21:43   #20
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That's why Medusa stinks like sh1t.

But that doesn't matter anyway to people back then, since they never bathed and dumped all their sh1t onto the street.

(In 1855, Pennsylvania passed a law probihiting the bath.)
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Old May 13, 2003, 22:26   #21
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Blacks just don't make good vampires, they're not pale enough.
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Old May 13, 2003, 22:28   #22
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Blackula loved it

Didn't Dracula have facial hair in Brahm Stroker's Dracula?
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Old May 13, 2003, 22:30   #23
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He had a mustache... sorry about the Stroker thing, been talking to Wittlich too much
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Old May 13, 2003, 23:07   #24
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In the 19th century good guys generally had beards, sideburns, and or moustaches, while bad guys were often clean shaven. Maybe that's why.
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