PRAVDA

[Jamski]

Jamski is sorry -
While leaves turn a dried-out brown
He's too hot to type.

-Jam

[Vev]

Sweat drips in hot room
Summer cast baleful sunshine
Cold refreshing Coke

[Vev]

[Jamski]

Although its simple
Many people find the art
To be quite charming.

The other factions
Can only marvel at you
I think its funny.

-Jam

[Vev]

Capitalist Treason!

A promising member of the Hive Party, who shall remain nameless, was embroiled in a scandal caught selling out base names for credits. Kody was discoverd red-handed during a survellience operation where another unnamed individual requested the next base to be named after him, Googliegrad. A sum of 100 credits was promised in exchange for the new city name.

Charges are pending and the deal has not be revoked as the city is to be named Googliegrad. Hive officials fear that disaster may befall the hive if the name is revoked. Threats of righteous hellfire from Miriam was more than enough to convince Hive officials. Kody is currently serving detention under the strict discipline of Comrade Claire Forlani.

[Snowflake]

God’s Fury

Followed by the official announcement of the elimination of SASS, overjoyed Hivers all went out and celebrate. After many bottles of xeno-rice wines and many loads of xenodoughnuts, a certain comrade whose head was turning ecstatically chanted the following love song:

“WE LOVE JAMSKI!!!!!
HE IS OUR ETERNAL FATHER!!!
WE SHALL SERVE HIM TO DEATH DO US PART!!!
HE IS VERY GLORIOUS!!
WE SHALL MAKE HIM A GOD!!!
WE LOVE HIM AND HE LOVES US SO!!!”

Stunned Comrade Vev rushed out to drag the certain comrade into the enlightment center. But alas, all is too late. All Hivers heard the God’s infuriated voice up in the sky:

“Blasphemy!!!

May my servant Miriam and my avenging Angels strike the Hive down and reduce it to ashes!!!”

Horrified Hivers knelt down on their knees and begged for forgiveness. Displeased GooglieGod did not decide to let the ignorant Hive easily go off the hook for their promised sacrifices. In stead, a spell is cast on to the two comrades involved most closely in the incident. Ever since that moment, Deputy Chairman and Commissionar Comrade Vev have been granted an inexorable enthusiasm to speak. In addition, they have not been able to open their mouth without producing silly Haikus.

As the insaneness spread over each thread in the Hive private forum, any meaningful discussion is buried in tons of childish Haikus. Although some comrades believe that this madness is only temporary and will automatically cure itself when the morning comes, Hive official had already held numerous emergency meetings trying to find what sacrifice should be served to GooglieGod so that the spread of insanity could come to a stop.

As for the initial incident causer, Comrade Tass, nobody has dared to guess what fate is awaited for him.

[Vev]

Coming soon!

Pravda will be presenting a Haiku special edition. Based upon tireless spamming works of Jamski and Vev we now present to you their latest inspirational works. Don't miss this once in a lifetime oppotunity, reserve a copy now!

[Googlie]

LOL you guys (and gals) - you're having just too much fun. The other factions don't know what they are missing

G

[Kody]

We figured that after stalking the other factions.

As well as finding out what alliances they're making by analysing when and how often they post. We also have noticed that the hive usually generates 5 posts for every one that another faction does.

Obviously the other factions are mainly sticking to game topics.

Kody

[Octavian X]

With all the spam, it's a wonder why we still exist at all.

*Octavian is waiting for an admin to wander in here and ban the entire team for spam...

[Kody]

And Octavian X diabolic plan to take over the hive is revealed!

Kody

[Vev]

Spam makes the world goes round
Spam alone sets all the world in motion
The love of spam is the root of all evil
Remember that time is spam
Put not your trust in spam, but put your spam in trust
A good reputation is more valuable than spam
A word fitly spoken is like apples of spam in pictures of silver
Beauty provoketh thieves sooner than spam
Time will run back and fetch the age of spam

[Jamski]

Although we may joke -
Paul wrote to the Corinthians
These words of wisdom:


1 Though I speak with the tounges of men and angels, and have not spam, I am become as sounding brass or a tinkling cymbal.
2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and thought I have all faith so that I could remove mountains, and have not spam, I am nothing.
3 And thought I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not spam, it profiteth me nothing.
4 Spam suffereth long, and is kind; spam envieth not; spam vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up.
5 Spam doth doth behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil.
6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the spam.

13 And now abideth faith, hope, spam, these three; but the greatest of these is spam.

-Jam

[Vev]

The Little Red Hive Book of Spam Vol.II

There is a rich seam of spam to be mined in this forum.

[Vander]

How about calling the wave of Haiku-ing a new disease? Acute Contagious Haiku over opting-in (?) or ACHOO. "Reports are coming from the frontier bases of a new hive disease that is nipping at the heals of SASS: Acute Contagious Haiku Over Opting-in, or ACHOO. Hive officals today remarked that the disease, although rather weak, is highly contagious. Subjects striken by ACHOO have an uncontrollable urge to speak only in Haiku.
WHAT TO DO IF STICKEN:
Just stay calm and quiet; The disease is not fatal. You will recover.
Haiku's should be short; they should be tasteful and smart, write about the Hive.
Lead Scientist Jam, please save the citizens soon! We lack skillful poets!

SOmething like that.

[Snowflake]

News Flash

The Chairman announces today that the Hive has entered a new era: The Great Leap of Haiku. The air is filled with scent of insanity. The few people that so far have managed to escape the contagion of madness watches helplessly as more and more comrades are mindlessly pulled toward ACHOO.

[Vev]

Hive Health Annoucement
There is no ACHOO virus
Please do not panic

[Vev]

The Collected Works of Hive Haikus

Of Wisdom

I have decided
To only talk in poetry -
Life is beautiful.

I will aways give
A good answer to your questions -
Their meaning is deep

The tree that is young
Must wait for many long years
Before it gives fruit

In the dark night
It is easy to mistake
A cat for a frog.

The young crocus tries
To push its towards the sun -
I first hear your name.

Watch the corn ripen -
We do not see the truth so
Time passes slowly

Bright as the red leaves
Your soft words bring me to rest -
At a great distance.

It is wise to keep
Close to the warmth of the heart.
The trees stand naked.

The powerful verse
Has changed the mind of many -
What joy is freedom.

Jamski

Of Haikus

As the lotus blooms -
So the knowledge of words grows
Soon all Comrades read.

Jamski

The young pine is thin.
A Haiku must always have
A seasonal word.

Jamski

The work we have here
Is only a fleeting whim -
Untill the leaves fall.

Jamski

In the spring of years
The young mistake a "Haiku"
For a limerick.

Jamski

The teacher feels snow -
In the spring the pupils should
Try something different.

Jamski

Aside limericks
In bountiful poetry
Haikus could one do

Vev

The wind is so soft -
But music cannot be heard
When noone listens.

Jamski

Loud shall the drums beat
All in Chiron shall hear us
Glorious Pravda

Vev

The apples are sour -
Perhaps imitation should
Not be so my friend.

Jamski

Jam speaks correctly
Poetry is not evil
Haiku music in ear

Rokossovky

I really must say,
Impressive are all Haikus,
Insanity, none

Rokossovky

Pleased to see converts
All shall share enlightenment
Glorious Haikus

Vev

Comrade Vev I fear
Your collection is endless -
Eternal Haikus come.

Jamski

For those interested
I have archived the Haikus
On my new website.

Jamski

Vev apologise
Rightful author respected
Vander not Oct X

Vev

Pravda celebrates
From a humble beginning
To five hundred posts

Vev

Of Avatars

It is "glorious"
Once more the avatars show
But what is yours Vev?

Jamski

From White Wolf it is
A symbol used in a game
Of ether mages

Vev

Octavian needs
posts for custom avatar
So he makes more spam.

Octavian X

Great xenodoughnut
Lucious dark chocolate
Need lots of sprinkles

Vev

Enlightened Linus
Knowledge from words within words
Shall wisdom sprout from

Vev

Of Bases

My opinion is
That the base should keep its name -
Pines change not their leaves.

Jamski

Chill winter winds blow
Future seeds scatter away
Time to blossum soon

Vev

If every member
Is able to name a base -
How many bases?

Jamski

How many bases
Must a man walk down a road
Before it's his base

Vev

The answer my friend
Is blowing in the soft wind
That stirs the blossoms.

Jamski

What ever happened
To Octavian's Huddling Of
The Xenodoughnuts

Vev

Of Battle

A strong cold wind -
The invaders of the Hive
Are not welcome here.

Jamski

No mercy given
Kill all babarians
Cold corpse feeds the tanks

Vev

Death is the final
Duty of our enemies -
The Rec-Tanks are full.

Jamski

Bountiful harvest
Reaped upon the our foes
The workers are pleased

Vev

Our plates are well filled -
In the invaders bases
Mothers have no sons.

Jamski

Blood shall warm the heart
Breath shall draw war and conflict
Fed well are mindworms

Vev

Chestnuts are gathered -
Skulls of human beings are
Not designed to stack.

Jamski

Night creatures we are
Earth shall be final embrace
Solace in darkness

Vev

Of Attempted Anti-Haiku Actions

Alas wound too deep
Sorrowful winter descends
I breathe my last breath

Vev

The moon is rising -
As the last leaf falls to earth
I embrace my death.

Jamski

The rumors were false -
As the snowdrop grows anew
So Jamski lives on.

Jamski

The pearl of conscious
Like gentle morning spring rain
Renewed and reformed

Vev

But Jamski and Vev
Are immune to flame weapons
For no good reason.

Jamski

Hot is the fire
Burning bright like demon's wrath
No need for blankets

Vev

Jamski points out :
To protect against the flames
We use fire blankets.

Jamski

What does one uses
To protect protect from the babies
Use baby blankets?

Vev

Octavian says:
Tomorrow I will order
haiku writers shot

Octavian X

Marshal double posts
Glowing bright in Moonshadow
Haikus will prevail

Vev

Anger has two effects :
The Marshal writes double posts
And glows in the dark.

Jamski

Doubled are the posts
As no two snowflakes alike
There was more shouting

Vev

Of One-Sentence IC Story

Jamski has no clue
what the "single white female
routine" is about.

Jamski

A movie it is
For she shall have everything
HTML here

Vev

But Bridget Fonda
Could not reach the flat in time
To get some blankets.

Jamski

No blankets for you
Sociopathic is squid
Jamski you are doomed

Vev

One sentence story -
A one-haiku story is
fitting for the squid.

Jamski

The squid shall prevail
For it cannot be denied
From ashes spring come

Vev

From the fresh squid corpse
Jamski makes squid tempura -
It tastes like ashes.

Jamski

No! Not beloved squid
Much life it has unfulfilled
Gone, Spring to Winter

Vev

The girl sleeps deeply -
In her bed a Haiku lies
Poems sleep not.

Jamski

Blankets embrace us
A glowing warmth shared between
Wonders who are they

Vev

Mrs Jamski stirs -
Although the bedroom is warm
She needs more blankets

Jamski

What a sad news
She can have all the blankets
Jamski is dead

HongHu

For the love of God
Please stop with these damn haiku:
It is annoying

Octavian X

Sorry to offend
Only the glorious Hive
Can write Haiku posts

Jamski

Progeny of Squid
Comes bearing great offerings
Blankets for Jamski

Vev

And the cat, as well
was able to speak haiku
insulting the squid

Vander

Squid was furious
Honoured ancestors insults
Unforgivable

Vev

Of Spam

Sweet shall victory
The Hive will spam all others
None can prevail us

Vev

When the shouting stops
That makes cherry blossom fall -
Just one voice is heard.

Jamski

Wind whispers in groves
A cherry blossum seed sprouts
Another petal falls

Vev

The master is pleased -
To lie in the shade of verse
Written by pupils.

Jamski

Student seek to please
Was inspired from the heart
To scribe spam Haiku

Vev

The sun makes shadows -
In the bright light of daytime
Who can see the stars?

Jamski

Spam made in springtime :
The meat knows not its name which
HongHu just whispers.

Jamski

Spam is delicious
Fit for summer, spring, autumn
Hearty winter meal

Vev

Despite the warm rain
The animals were dirty -
Spam gains more flavor.

Jamski

See delightful spam
How it cradles the sunlight
No one shall now starve

Vev

Like dew in the sun
The origin of the meat
Has simply vanished.

Jamski

What is the secret
Of meat so mysterious
Only Googlie knows

Vev

I wonder why
threads in this forum always
turn into spam fests

Octavian X

Vev has been spiking
All the water that we drink
It's making us spam

Kody

Waterfall babble
Fresh cool spring mountain water
Music to the ears

Vev

Old is the rec room
Fifth incarnation cycle
Much more spam needed

Vev

Of Turn-Chat

Is it possible
That we can play the turn now
And get a move on?

Jamski

This is such good news
I have it open right here
Which info you need?

Jamski

I hope that will be
Just enough information
To get you started

Jamski

Are we all agreed
That the name changes are good?
Googlie will be pleased

Jamski

After the base builds
I present you with a long
List of unit moves :

Jamski

My internet link
Was sadly broken apart
But I have come back

Jamski

Do not forget that
You must copy the turnchat
Into the right thread

Jamski

I cannot do this
As I lost the whole first half
When my compy died.

Jamski

Hear 'Turn advantage'
Melodious sweet tinkle
Power to the Hive

Vev

Of Turn delay

Squids shall wreak havoc
Such fury no storms can match
Humans have new fear

Vev

The turn must come soon -
The sky turns to silver-grey
And the storks come home.

Jamski

Of Madness

Honey dew fragrance -
Compliment is accepted
Vev likes bright colours

Vev

ph34r m3 4 1 4m
l33t sk1llz L4c|<1ng g|_|5t0, w|-|1t
n44d1ng 50m3 c4ff31n3....

Vander

Truth within madness
Hidden in each facet, like
Broken mirror shards

Vev

Of Health

Hive Health Annoucement
There is no ACHOO virus
Please do not panic

Vev

It had gone too far -
Already Octavian
Had caught the disease

Jamski

Illness has no cure
Embrace and let go yourself
Haiku is the path

Vev

The Marshal was wrong
The evil poetry virus
Was not that evil.

Jamski

If Octavian
Sees yet another haiku
he will surely barf.

Octavian X

Of Deidre

I cannot Haiku
Deidre's pet secret project
Woe betides me now

Vev

Which is the project
That Vev refers to sadly?
We all want to know.

Jamski

It is the VW
Not the humble volkswagen
But Weather paradigm

Vev

Perhaps it is time
For haikus about Deidre
Many can join in

Vev

[Jamski]

Comrade Vev I fear
Your collection is endless -
Eternal Haikus come.

-Jam

[Vander]

ph34r m3 4 1 4m
l33t sk1llz L4c|<1ng g|_|5t0, w|-|1t
n44d1ng 50m3 c4ff31n3....

This one is mine, Not Octavian's.

[Jamski]

For those interested
I have archived the Haikus
On my new website.

-Jam

[Vev]

Vev apologise
Rightful author respected
Vander not Oct X

[Vev]

Pravda celebrates
From a humble beginning
To five hundred posts

[Rokossovky]

I really must say, I am impressed by your ability to keep making all these haikus. The 5,7,5 would have driven me insane by now.

- Rokossovky

[Rokossovky]

or sorry:

I really must say,
Impressive are all Haikus,
Insanity, none

- Rokossovky

[Vev]

Pleased to see converts
All shall share enlightenment
Glorious Haikus

[Octavian X]

Hive reaches Comrade Marx's dream

In other news, Chairman Voltaire announced at a press conference that The Hive has reached Comrade Marx's dream. He declared that the faction was a perfect communist society.

A reporter at the conference pointed out that Comrade Marx's perfect Utopia didn't have a government, and asked why the Chairman was still in power. At that moment, all persons at the conference was shot.

In a related story, this article's writer has been shot.

[Vev]

Special new Pravda
Exclusively Hive Haikus
Available now

[Jamski]

As the tulips bloom -
Comrades read the new PRAVDA
And they are all pleased.

-Jam

[Nubclear]

The Hive Now Has An
Institute for Poetry
And there be glory