PRAVDA - Page 21

Vander · November 12, 2003, 20:21

NEW DATA DISC PROVES ROSE GUILTY!!

Released on the nightly news of the inferior capitalistic Interplanitary Broadband News Network (IBNN), a datadisc showing an evil probe team training camp of none other than Data Angel's lead anarchist, Sinder Roze was shown to the various people of Planet. Later released after 'cleansing' for the stupendious people of the Hive, the DD shows what has been called a "Al Qa-data" training camp of various diobolical spys training to infiltrate none other than our glorious society and harm our glorious chairman. It has been thought that 'Sinder Rose' was an unethical leader, and now we have proof of just that! 'Sinder Rose' is guilty of trying to destroy our glorious society!

As you all were shown on PRAVDA- TV, the camp consisted of numerious men and women dressed in all black, running around; jumping over things; learning to hack computer systems; all a foolish attempt at training to fight against our glorious, undefeatable defences. It truely is an exercise in futility for them to even think of trying to start infiltrating our society!

"Sinder Roze" was born Asa Wright. Raised on the evil capitalistic hell of Earth, she was a born anarchist bred to take down our humble society on Planet. Sent on the Unity, it is no doubt that the capitalist pig-dogs have been planning to hurt us for a long time, now. They may think that they are clever, but they are not! They shall never triumph over the Hive! Do not be fooled by her foolish good looks, Comrades! She is evil through and through! Make sure to report ANY suspicious behavior to your local Kommisar at once!

Vander · November 16, 2003, 20:57

PRAVDA STAFF BECOMES MORE EQUAL!

(PRAVDA Press Room, The Hive) Calling for more funding, the Hive Government annouced an increase in funding to PRAVDA and all of its branches. The PRAVDA staff concluded that the pay increase is necessary so that they are "more equal than other staffs" Chief Editor Vander announces, "With the new increase in our budget, we will finally be able to initiate our study of the best makers of Xenorum." Contenders from all over planet will come to the Hive to be humiliated by the Hive's XenoRum-X.
(XR-X has been through years of perfecting study by Hive Drinkologists. And we all know that the Hive is the best.) Vander then had this to say, "Again, thanks to the funding, we will be able to conduct this study. Of course, the judging will be done by none other than the Fair and Balanced staff of PRAVDA. For we all know that PRAVDA never lies."
The study is to be conducted at 2100 next friday.

OTHER HEADLINES FROM THE HIVE

- Political Rebels cought in HonguKongu. Iterrigation to begin immediately.

- Super Political Analitical Messaging has hit an all time low in the Hive.

- Political Rebels of the Hive announced today that they will rejoin the Hive.

- Study concludes that Tasty Wheat is neither tasty nor wheat.

- Deputy Chairman Jamski's approval rating falls due to alligations involving sheep. However, the rating is still in the "Be the father of my children!" range. it would be unlikely to see it slip and futher than "Best Deputy Chairman Ever!"

- Shrines to a "Tassadar" have been appearing with greater frequency among the drones of the Hive. Officals could "Care less".

- Women wearing Red Dresses suddenly shifting into men in black suits. Report at 2200.

Jamski · November 17, 2003, 07:40

Vander - I have made you permanant PRAVDA editor. I hope a new issue will relect the glory of the new chairman

Thankyou

-Jam

Vander · November 18, 2003, 02:34

As the new Editor of PRAVDA, I have decided to impliment a few changes to system of doing things here. First, I want people to post reasonable ideas for articles on this thread and then anyone else can pick up from that. Of course, if you have an idea you want to write up, then more power to you.
Secondly, any sort of propaganda posters are vital to this newspaper. "A picture is worth 1000 words" is true. Anybody with any sort of Photoshop skillz should give something to the Hive. Please, we (I) want your help. Every little bit helps.

Peace
Vander

Vander · November 18, 2003, 02:37

Some Ideas to get the ball rolling

- We are at war with the Angels. That should be a gold mine of articles and propaganda. Think the posters from USA in WW2 and how various gov'ts then did propaganda.
- The "jamski coup" is a sort or cute little thing that could show that the Hive is not all mindless drones following the chairman. (Or will it?

)
- Random Propaganda posters. (I don't know, does Poly allow on site uploading or do you have to find an external link for pics?)

Snowflake · November 19, 2003, 13:57

I hope the State vs Jamski case gets sufficient press coverage. The final report and order of the court will be censored to be published in Pravda also.

Micha · November 20, 2003, 10:38

Hm, what about that headline:
Pravda-editor Comrade Vander, chief of the #1 ~~Propaganda~~ newspaper of the Human Hive, sides with traitor Jamski in coup d´etat (which failed miserably resulting in People´s Court trial). Consequences for Vander seem out of sight. Corruption supposed...?

edited to correct spelling of "vander"

Micha · November 20, 2003, 10:40

Now the problem with this is that Vander would shoot into his own leg, so that issue will probably never be published. This is the first time I start to wonder whether a free press would make our beloved PRAVDA richer...

Erm, forget that last one

PS: I don´t know why, but somehow it seems impossible to type "VANDER" right. Had to change three times from "vandar" to "vander"...

Snowflake · November 20, 2003, 10:53

Well the court conclusion may very well include an order that Vander has to publish all articles submitted that including the ones disclosing his own misbehavior.

Micha · November 20, 2003, 14:25

Yay! Who needs free press when we have an almighty, completely biased oppressive juristical regime instead

Snowflake · November 20, 2003, 14:35

And who are you calling "completely biased" and "oppressive"? Are you not aware that the court has not adjurned yet and anybody, just aaanybody (read: m-i-c-h-a) could be concluded as guilty of supporting the Jamski counter-revolution activity?

Vander · November 20, 2003, 15:14

Of course we have freedom of press. I am free to print what I want to.

Micha · November 20, 2003, 15:41

rofl - lmao

Vander · November 20, 2003, 18:27

But seriously, Thanksgiving Break is here for me. I'm going home, so I may or may not be here often. Regardless, Let's shoot for the middle of the first week of Dec. for the next PRAVDA. I'll see what I can write tonite/over break, but I still want some other people to write articles for the mag. I don't want to be the only one writining again....

Snowflake · November 21, 2003, 17:20

Opening Statement of Prosecution:

Comrade Citizen Jamski has been charged with sabotage of the socialist system (Article 1, Section 2, Constitution of the People of the Human Hive), violation of the Constitution and Laws of the People of the Human Hive (Article 4, Section 3 and 4, ibid.), violation of the Constitution and Laws of the People of the Human Hive while entrusted with public office and the maintenance of the Constitution of the People of the Human Hive (Article 4, Section 3 and 4, ibid.), high treason against the State of the People of the Human Hive via attempted overthrow of the legitimate government of the People, high treason against the People of the Human Hive for attempted overthrow of the State of the People of the Human Hive while entrusted with power by the People, betray of the sacrosanct trust of the People in their government, actions resulting in harm to the People of the Human Hive during the attempted coup, contravening government orders, et al.

The Central Continuing Committee of the People of the Human Hive, acting on behalf of the People of the Human Hive as their voice, bring about the aforementioned charges against Comrade Citizen Jamski for his treasonous actions. The Central Continuing Committee of the People of the Human Hive turns this matter over to the Supreme People’s Court for arbitration. The People reserve the right to bring about charged against Comrade Citizen Jamski in posterum.

-People’s Provisional Prosecutor

Opening Statement of Defendent:

The socialist system proclaims the equality of all mankind. I demonstrated my equality with the chairman, and also acted in defense of the socialist system in initating war against the capitalist pigdog Data Angels.

As Deputy Chairman, my role is to fill in for the Chairman while he is away. I defended the people from the dictatorship of the military, as represented by the Marshal, and this is called violation of the law? If this is the case, then the law is at fault.

I could not be responsible for the overthrow of the government. As the Dep. Chair I am the government in the absence of the chairman, or any other member of the CCCP, as was the case. I was simply doing my duty.

Compare and contrast with the chairman's attempts to hire the counter-revolutionary Kody as a consultant. This is betrayal of the Human Hive, letting our course be governed by one who has left our brotherhood of comradeship for the world of capital.

As stated before, I was the government, by virtue of the absence of all other party members, and my position as Deputy Chairman, so how could I contravene my own orders?

I rest my case (or whatever they say)

-Jam

Audience 1: Are you saying Comrade Kody, father of the Hiverian industry, founder of the world leadership of our glorious community and hero to the masses, currently operating in diguise amongst the capitalist pig-dogs of a place codenamed "Down under" to investigate the habits of our future enemies on the battlefield, this superb person was a counter-revolutionist???

* The furious Comrade from the audience who disrupted the oath procedure was immediately calmed by the present Crimson Guards. *

Judge HongHu: Parties who intend to intervene must step forward and state so in the court. Then you can proceed to question the witness.

Judge HongHu: We are now going to proceed into questioning of the witnesses. To speedy up the trial, we'll do questioning from the parties and questioning from the bench in the same time.

Judge HongHu: Jamski, do you swear that you'll tell the truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth?

* Jamski puts one hand on the Conclave Bible *

Witness Jamski: I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth, so help me Googliegod.

Judge HongHu: Ok the witness is sweared in and open for questioning. I'm going to begin with some of my own questions.

Judge HongHu: Jamski, why did you attempt to overthrow the Chairman?

Counsel Jamski: Objection, your honour!
Counsel Jamski: This question assumes that there WAS a chairman to overthrow at the time. I simply assumed his function in his absence under the assumption that he would not ever return.

Judge HongHu: Overruled. There is no evidence that the Chairman has been absent from his office. Witness must answer the question.

Counsel Jamski: Please may I show you this document :

* Jamski hands a copy of the forum-post-record to the court *

Counsel Jamski: It clearly indicates a criminal absense of the chairman.

* Judge HongHu flips through the record and then hand it to the other judges.

Judge HongHu: Hmmm you may have a point there. Let me change my questions: When did you start to plan the coup?
Witness Jamski: The coup was never planned. It was entirely spontanious.

Judge HongHu: Why did you spontaniously decide that a coup is needed?
Witness Jamski: Because someone must be in control of the Hive, to give instructions on a yearly basis. It was my responsibilty as Deputy Chairman to fill the position.

Judge HongHu: What makes you feel that you cannot effectively give instructions at the position of the deputy chairman? You simply see this as an opportunity for you to seize control of the party, isn't it true?
Witness Jamski: I considered that the constitution demands that the position of Chairman be occupied in order to function. At the time control of the party was not an aim of mine.

Judge HongHu: Does the constitution demands a coup must happen in time of absense of a Hive official? Doesn't the constitution provide ways to elect and replace officials?
Witness Jamski: (no answer)

Judge HongHu: What have you done during the period of the unsuccessful coup?
Witness Jamski:I have played the turn, and posted it on to the university to the best of my abilities.

Judge HongHu: Were you aware that the Hive's outside consultant Comrade Kody was also doing the turn in the same time? If yes, why did you decide you should discard Comrade's Kody's effort and proceed with your coup and turn?
Witness Jamski: No.

Judge HongHu: Have you read the post from Comrade Kody in the turn tracking thread that indicated that he was planning to do the turn?
Witness Jamski: No, I read the post that SOMEONE should play the turn. I did so.

Judge HongHu: What is the consequence of your actions during the unsuccessful coup?
Witness Jamski: It is hard to see, but the Hive has probably not been 100% efficient. On the positive side, one effect has been to awaken the Hive Party Members from thier sleep and get back posting again. I count this as a successful failed coup.

Judge HongHu: Would you agree that the return of the party members should mostly attibute to Comrade HongHu's persistent effort since her return?

Witness Jamski: (no answer)

Judge HongHu: What punishment do you believe you deserve?
Witness Jamski: I deserve a medal.

* HongHu hand Jamski a piece of paper.

Quote:

Originally posted by Kody
Honghu was lucky and caught me on MSN today. Rather rare recently as I’ve been very busy with work.

She basically said the hive turn is stuck at 100+ hours.

I’ll see what I can do.

I don’t have the time that I used to, and I’ve been gearing down from my play run and into my work run. I seem to only have good focus for one or the other. So I reckon this will be the last turn I play for a couple of months until I get tired of just doing work.

Anyway from those that I’ve talked to Rokossovky won’t be playing the turn anytime soon. So I’ll play it. Fortunately, if I cut out all the insane 5 year icromanagement, group decision making, informing the team, diplomatic negotitations etc. It should only take me 3 hours max.

To the hive:
Since nobody has the time anymore, don’t try and follow what I used to do. Just play the turn as best you can with the limited time you have.

Judge HongHu: Do you recognize this is the post that Comrade Kody posted before you post the turn?
Witness Jamski: He could have posted it before, but I read this one after I posted the turn. NOTE : I removed my turn in favour of Kody's when the mistake was noticed.

Judge HongHu: Do you maintain that your entire intention of the failed coup was to serve the party's best interest?
Witness Jamski: Yes, it was hardly in my own interest. I am a very lazy person, why would I want more work?

Judge HongHu: Do you maintain that there's no better way to achieve your best intention?
Witness Jamski: There may well have been better ways, but my way had the desired results. Look at the post rate on this forum!

Judge HongHu:Would you agree that the post rate on this forum should also be mostly attibuted to Comrade HongHu's persistent effort since her return?
Witness Jamski: No. Mostly is an overstatement. At least 1/3 perhaps

Judge HongHu: My last question. Do you love the Chairman?

Witness Jamski: ~~Only in a homosexual sense, wait that's dismeanour H~~
Witness Jamski: Sure, he's the father of our nation, who wouldn't love him.

Judge HongHu: The court is now in recess until the other judges finish preparing their questions.

Micha · November 21, 2003, 17:52

great

Just fix that quote. It is [ size = 3 ] ... [ / size ], not font.

Snowflake · November 21, 2003, 18:10

Thank you dear Comrade.

Snowflake · November 21, 2003, 18:11

Should we disclose the name of the furious comrade of not?

Micha · November 21, 2003, 18:22

hehe, I intended it to be a NPC, so I could keep my rather clean reputation for a while

On a second glince, it doesn´t seem to hurt anyone, so yes, you can reveal the furious comrade´s mysterious idendity, to feed the curiosity of all those PRAVDA readers out there

Snowflake · November 21, 2003, 18:26

What do you mean "clean reputation"?! You defended the party and your comrades!!! You have a superior reputation than all the other useless drones!

Micha · November 21, 2003, 18:46

Quote:

Originally posted by HongHu
What do you mean "clean reputation"?! You defended the party and your comrades!!! You have a superior reputation than all the other useless drones!

Yes?

Anyway, what´s good for the party might not be that much appreciated elsewhere...

No, really, I don´t mind. As long as it will be a great PRAVDA edition, the details don´t matter. Right?

Jamski · November 22, 2003, 14:07

I like consol Jamski and witness Jamski

My clone will stick up for me, even if noone else will!

-Jam

Micha · November 22, 2003, 14:24

Quote:

Originally posted by Jamski
I like consol Jamski and witness Jamski

My clone will stick up for me, even if noone else will!

-Jam

I´d like to stick up with you, for personal reasons, but I certainly don´t want to be charged of cooperation with traitors

Jamski · November 22, 2003, 14:30

Send YOUR clone then

-Jam

Vander · November 24, 2003, 03:16

(Like rising from the surf, Vander appears)

Nice Job, Honghu. I like the article. On another note, I do not have a very reliable internet connection, so let's add more articles and shoot for about mid- week in the week after next for the next PRAVDA. I'll see what I can do along the lines of writing an article, but don't count on it until next sunday. Later.

(And like the ocean agian, Vander disappears. Not to be seen)

dacole · November 24, 2003, 19:40

I will stand with you Jam, anyone who wants to use my name in his support feel free to do so. Some of my potential points, 1. I never saw the chairman at a meeting or on MSN except when he gave me a office at which time he admitted to being out of touch with what was going on. Kody at one time admited that the chairman was only in this for the appearance of great power. The constitution seems never to have been followed ever since the hive was instituted. Won't be able to post much but if you want I can write a short post of a defense over this weekend.

Daniel

Snowflake · November 25, 2003, 14:30

Your support came a little too late dear comrade dacole. If you had voted in favor of the evil deputy at his coup thread, it'd be possible that you would be the deputy chairman right now.

(You guys needed to get at least one more vote though.)

As far as the court goes, if you could write up a closing statement for the defendent, the court will accept your late submitted filing.

However my personal advice to you is that you better try to maintain a good relationship with the Chairman.

You are sitting in an office that the Chairman provided to you after all.

Jamski · November 26, 2003, 07:58

Unlike my cold, wet and lonely "office"

-Jam

Vev · November 28, 2003, 08:08

Pravda Thing

Behold citizens of Chiron, the time has arrived for all those blessed ones to place their mark on this virgin world. No more shall we be confined to the frailities of human flesh, conditioning and thoughts for we shall be the legions the mind of the many who would lead forward to the future. Once such thoughts were a dream, an futile hope we cling to desparately wishing what transpires shall be true. Rather through this promised land of Chiron as all be drawn together in the vast conscious network planet fungus shall our consciousness merge and mingle and be free to express ourselves and thoughts without fear or the oppression of tyranny. For those who have the drive and the will shall transcend our mortal coil, beyond our mudane self, where their spirit shall rise and the unfortunate meeked soul shall inherit what is of the plant unable to join their brethens in the infinity circuit of the planet network.

Come the hour of reckoning is at hand and the the culmination of the our specis shall be be integrated. Release ourselves to the Transcendance Cycle to break free ... free to what lies beyond our imagination.

Micha · November 28, 2003, 08:22

Wow. I especially like the stutter parts

"Come the hour of reckoning is at hand and the the culmination of the our specis shall be be integrated. "