3D Offices

[Drogue]

Maniac: I have them saved from the first issue. I will upload.

[Corellion]

Will we hold off on releasing the next issue until after the elections? We may as well, considering they're in only a few days.

[Maniac]

Well the elections should have been posted three days ago, but because there weren't any contested positions, because of the mess with determining officials their titles, and because of Drogue's new government proposal, there weren't any.

[Whaleboy]

This is Drogue Posting from elijah's computer. There were no electins posted as there are no contested positions hence no need. With the new system we have the 4 officials needed. It all worked out nicely. I am currently writing an article for 3D, and so I have been playing about with layout, so it will be released when that is done, possibly tonight, if there is nothing else to add? We already have the officials for next term, so that is sorted. I am writing a short thing on the new government.

[Drogue]

Ok, ave almost finished editing and writing for 3D. I think it is looking good. Will be posted in the next hour or two, unless anyone stops me. Sorry for the delay, I think it is worth it.

[Drogue]

Here, finally, is Issue 2 of 3D:

The long awaited Issue 2 of the 3D is here, and we think it’s worth the wait. This issue is even more packed full of news, games and things to stir the brain cells. We have all the old favourites, from The Philosophical Section, to The Caption Competition and One Final Thought, as well as new features, such as Where in the World is Colonel Santiago. I would like to thank all contributors, especially Corelli Omega-9, who has done much sterling work for this issue.

System Warning! Attempted Sabotage of the Collective - By Corelli Omega-9

The Ministry of Foreign Affairs of the Cybernetic Consciousness, despite the lack of many foreign concerns to deal with, has, nonetheless, been efficiently utilising its time through various maintenance and research duties. In the process of some of these duties, however, a number of functions have discovered an insidious virus implanted in the Datalinks. Preliminary evidence suggests this virus was loaded into the system aboard the Unity, suggesting that a rival faction is to blame for this outbreak.

The virus functions by flooding our logic pathways with a constant stream of inane data. The logic pathways are unable to cope with the sheer volume of irrelevant and unexplainable data, overheating in the process and fusing. Three functions who were working on the maintenance were affected in such a manner, and have had to have their pathways replaced. Each will also require at least a month of treatment before they can walk properly again. Although the exact location of the virus is classified, it can be revealed that it was found as a number of video files, approximately thirty minutes in length each, in the directory whose label translates into ASCII characters as /entertainment/20thcentury/humour/MPflyingcircus/.

Whoever uploaded this virus, know that the outbreak has been contained, and the damage was minimal. The virus was obviously programmed by an amateur, as it contains no method for self-replication. This fact seems to eliminate Datajack Roze as a culprit, and the level of computer knowledge in Sister Miriam’s faction eliminates them as well.

The virus has been contained, and that the necessary changes have been made to all functions so that a recurrence of this event is no longer a possibility. The files, however, are still located in our Datalinks, and analysis is underway to determine the exact culprit. It is only a matter of time before the perpetrator is discovered, and the Cybernetic Consciousness does not look well upon such enemies.

Newsflash! Population Boom in Capital. - By Corelli Omega-9

On 2117.589, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs of the Cybernetic Consciousness began receiving a number of odd radio signals. Initially, it was believed that a sensor glitch, or other technical anomaly had caused the event, however a quick diagnosis revealed that no system failures were present. It was soon determined that the readings were in fact coming from another human faction. Simulations as to the possible identity, composition, and intentions of the faction were immediately commenced, and initial findings suggested that, regardless of the faction, this encounter was unlikely to produce hostilities, given the likely composition of a scouting party. A team of diplomatic functions, military functions, and foreign affairs functions were immediately assembled and dispatched to meet with the incoming humans.

After several days of travel over rocky terrain and fungus, the team finally caught sight of the other faction. Initially, it was suspected that our simulations were erroneous, as the other party was approaching at high speeds in what appeared to be a number of unity rovers. Positions were taken in expectance of a military conflict. As the rovers approached nearer, however, something unexpected, even in our detailed simulations, occurred. The rovers were filled entirely with children. Our functions revealed themselves, and the rovers came to a halt. Upon closer examination, the identity of the other humans was apparent. The rovers were of low-grade steel, and appeared to have many spelling mistakes in the labels... these were Hiverian children.

The children disembarked from their rovers, armed with nervestapellers. The military functions immediately aimed their weapons preparing to fire. At that point, however, the children laid down their nervestapellers, and pleaded for asylum within the Cybernetic Consciousness. Questioning revealed that the children had been sent out from the Hive with the intention of nervestapelling other factions, thus severely damaging their command and control structures. During the journey, however, the children had turned on their oppressive escorts and nervestapelled them into servitude. They then completed their journey into Consciousness territory. Questioning of the adults revealed little useful information... they either were kept uninformed, or else the nervestapellind had destroyed what knowledge they had.

The children, and the few adults, were granted asylum and were allowed to receive implants, allowing them into the Consciousness. The children are young, however within a few years they will be able to become fully functioning members of the Cybernetic Consciousness. Samples of their DNA have been taken, and submitted to Function TK-Gamma for use in his Japanisation experiments.

Cabinet Reshuffle - By Drogue Beta-8

From top sources in the Government, we have received an advance copy of the election results, two days before that were due to be posted!

Drogue Beta-8 and Mani-Alpha-3 both keep their old jobs as Prime and Second Function respectively. Not since Blair and Brown on old Earth has a duo been so effective in government, yet so public in their disagreements. We hold out hope for another strong and wise term for both of them.

Due to changes in the structure of government among the CyCon, the Cabinet reshuffle has resulted in Corelli Omega-9 moving to the post of Internal Function (name to be confirmed), and the function known only as Delta taking the combined Military and Diplomatic roles as Foreign Affairs Function (name tbc).

These four wise functions now have the task of guiding the CyCon over the next turn, expected to last about 20 years. All at 3D wish them logic and good fortune.


Constitution?

On a side story, 3D was also informed that there is rumour of a Constitution being drawn up, deep in the heart of the government’s office in Apolyton Prime. Nothing has been confirmed yet, but it is rumoured that this information has come right from the top. When it is released, you will be the first to hear about it.

The CyCon Greet Their New-Found Allies - By TK Gamma-8

Early this morning, at approximately 05.00 Cybernetic Standard Time, routine scout patrols unconvered some sort of book. The writings appear to be religious, but bear no mention of the great GooglieGod, and the words on the page were no resemblance to any language encountered before…

This story was altered due to inaccuracies, and references to things that have never happened. The correct story is given here:

The CyCon Greet Their New-Found Allies – Bunnies! - By Drogue Beta-8

It seems that Pi Square has been built near an area of astounding wildlife diversity, which has a whole colony of a species very rare to Chiron, Bunnies! This caused concern with the Major of Pi Square, who is quotes as saying: “these bunnies could prove a real menace to our development”, however he was cut short by a load cries of “ooooh”, “awwww” and “they’re so soft” coming from the gathering crowd, in response to their affection and white, fluffy appearance.

Here is a computer model of one of the bunnies:

Meanwhile a geological survey of the area enriched with bunnies found that it was very high in Nitrates, a group of chemicals know to help plants grow, causing it to be extremely rich in nutrients. Chemical tests on the bunnies have shown that it is caused by the bunnies excretion. The government has therefore urged people to keep the bunnies as pets, causing an outcry of happiness and much support for the government. This radical research has led to many hailing bunnies as then end to all our nutrient problems, and trials are going on. So far all they have discovered is an excellent recipe for bunny stew.

Many of the government are rumoured to also enjoy the company of their own bunnies, the most attentive and affectionate creatures yet to be found on Chiron. Rumours of even more affectionate creatures know as “cat-girls” have been heard around, however they have been dismissed as mere fantasy.

While these bunnies have shown us new ways to grow, there could be problems if their numbers increase much more and a long-term…

decision has not yet been made as to a course of action.

The Philosophical Section - By Mani Alpha-3

This issue I have handed my Philosophical editorial to Mani Alpha-3, who has written this wonderful piece for us [ed.]

As the Consciousness’ 3D information service strives to approach the laudable ideal of objectivity and neutrality as close as possible, we would like to share with you the opinion of the other side in the emotions debate. Below is an extract of Mani Alpha-3's recently published work entitled "Essays on Emotion”:

Lately there have been many debates on the nature of emotions, and whether we Cyborgs should have them. To understand the discussion about emotions, it is useful for outsiders to first give a summary of the nature of our cybernetic implants.

When a fullhuman chooses to become member of the Consciousness, he or she receives a series of implants. Naturally those cybernetic implants are not self-aware, and will probably stay that way, unless in some far future we should discover the appropriate technology to make them self-aware. Also, unlike the popular misconception among fullhumans, we are not controlled by those algorithms. As they are non-sentient, that would make us mindless drones. Those who do claim that we are mindless robots are simply opinion leaders in other factions who wish to prevent all humans to flock to our glorious faction. We are still conscious individuals, and have near-full control over our algorithms. We can choose to use them or not to use them, just as we could choose to or not to switch off a 21th century computer. They simply increase our logical and analytical abilities using advanced software programs, just like those Old Earth computers. They also allow us to communicate with each other, by transmitting casual electromagnetic beams, which are decoded by our algorithms and directly fed to our consciousness.

Currently our algorithms suppress our emotions. This is done by sending electrical impulses and chemical signals to certain areas of the brain responsible for emotions, such as the limbic system and the hypothalamus. The reason for doing so at the dawn of our faction was because it was assumed emotions were per definition illogical, and it would be better to let the physiological processes normally taken care of by emotions be regulated by the rational algorithms. However I fail to see the use of letting our implants instead of our emotions control those physiological processes. I mean, as Prime Function Drogue Beta-8 argued well in the past, emotions are instinctive and autonomous reactions we don’t think consciously about the moment they happen, as our consciousness is too slow to react rationally on certain situations. However, after fifteen years of experience with our cybernetic implants, I fail to see how that has changed now we have implants. Before our implants can become self-conscious due to further technological progress and could take over some of the brain's duties - if we would want that - our consciousness and our center of reason and action still resides completely in our “slow” brains. So even though our implants can process huge amounts of data for us, our reaction speed on that data doesn’t improve much.

In other words, since our algorithms don’t have a consciousness, and our consciousness is still as slow as that of fullhumans, we wouldn’t be able to react as fast to surprising circumstances as emotions can, if all the physiological processes previously regulated by emotions would now have to be done consciously. The solution to that, as implemented fifteen years ago, is pre-programming our algorithms to react on certain situations in certain ways, without us having to take conscious decisions. But then I ask: how is this any different from emotions? Those pre-programmed algorithms are also a sort of “instinctive and autonomous reactions we don’t think consciously about the moment they happen”. The conclusion I reach is we haven’t gained anything by replacing emotions by algorithmic responses.

Therefore I would like to suggest we start an experiment. Let's call it "Unimatrix 001". It would involve asking a large group of volunteers to order their implants to no longer suppress their emotions electrically and chemically. A research team would observe the results of that change and report to the Science Function. He would then, after deliberating with the other High Council members, decide if the experiment should be generalized to the entire Cybernetic population, to further increase the productivity and efficiency of the Cybernetic Consciousness.

The Caption Competition

The winner of last issues competition was please don’t hurt me with that, I’ll let you win! GooglieGod, with "You wanna WHAT with my brain???” He wins an all expenses paid trip to the large bomb crater!

A close second was TKG with "What? the Faculty rejected our demands? very well - RELEASE THE GORILLA!"


This Issues Competition

As usual, guess the caption. Best one wins a prize. And as always, the editors opinion is worthless final.

Where in the World is Colonel Santiago? - By Corelli Omega-9

Greetings young functions and adults from other factions who are receiving this broadcast; we now begin the first scheduled release of our educational game show, teaching children and extra-factional adults about Chironian geography.

You are a young soldier in the Cybernetic Consciousness Dangerous Offenders Security Collective (CyCon DOSC). As a DOSC agent, it is your duty to hunt down dangerous offenders who threaten the security of our faction. You have just arrived for your first day of duty, when your superior contacts you, beckoning you into his alcove.

Greetings Function. As you know, you graduated from your training academy with top honours... the highest, in fact, in recent memory. Given the aptitude you have shown in this field, we have come to the collective decision to assign you to a very important case. You will be working with a team of our best DOSC agents in this task, so use your expertise to help them in this mission.

You well know what happened in the Unity disaster at the beginning of this century, and the personalities who managed to escape the carnage. The followers of the Human Hive, the Lord's Believers, the Data Angels, the Free Drones, the Planet University of Technology, PEACE, and, of course, the Cybernetic Consciousness all managed to safely arrive upon Planet. However, rumour had it that one more escape pod managed to flee the Unity before it broke up. Originally, we believed this to be just another fable that the less logical factions are so quick to indulge in, however one of our scouts has reported sighting someone whom we did not suspect had survived. Due to her absence of any followers, she is considered desperate and extremely dangerous. It is your job to help track her down and take her into custody. However, in order to do so, you must first figure out...


Clue Number 1

The last our agents saw of her she was escaping into the Xenofungus with a machete, but she did not seem to have many travel rations with her.

Good luck on your mission.


Although ultimately Santiago will be hiding in specific tiles, and even particular features within these tiles, Chironian geography is currently limited to orbital scans taken before the exodus from the Unity. A DOSC agent's only hope at this point in time is to find the general location of Santiago, and conduct intensive searches to locate any trace of her presence.

Transmit (PM) one's solutions (only one per individual) directly to CISCO. The correct solution shall be posted in each subsequent broadcast.

One Final Thought

This is the last section, devoted to GooglieGod. This issue’s article comes from Corelli Omega-9:

Ode to GooglieGod

10100001001100011010001110101001110101001000111001 01011100111111100111111100111011100010000100000011 10111001010011000010000101011010001110010101010011 01011101011111001100111001000000001100111011100101 00110000000111000100111111100111101000100000100000 01010001000000011111010101011110011001010011101010 01100011011100011001100001000010101001111011001101 10100110011100101110010100000100001010100111010100 11110011010000010000000110111101010011100110111100 11001011011001100000001100111001011001001110001001 00010100101100110100000100001010000100000000111000 10111100010010010010011100010111000000011111010010 01111001010101001001001001110001011100000001110100 001001000101101000011110


Googlie’s Reply

00011110000011110000110100011110100011011110000000 00001101001101010011001010101001000111001010011001 01001101111111100100011100100000100001010100110100 10010000010000100010111001010010101110011011010011 11101001100001000011011001101111001010101101000011 01010000100001100000111100100111100100111010100111 101010101101000



Edited by Drogue Beta-8

What do you think?

[Whaleboy]

ooc: I think bloody hell!!!! How long did that take you??? I love the Bill "Locutis" Gates!!

[Drogue]

About 4 hours to write my articles, find the pics and collate it all. Well worth it IMHO.

The "Allies/Bunnies" story was a bit taken from TKG's article, but adapted to make it seem like we'd found the Believers. Wanted to se if anyone would bite. Besides, a little misinformation never hurt anyone Also, I was thinking the base above Pi Square could be DBTSverse Portal, which gives me the follow up story of saying where the bunnies are coming from

[Maniac]

Wonderful! I noticed one odd thing though, that prevents it from being perfect:

On 211X.589, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs of the Cybernetic Consciousness began receiving a number of odd radio signals.

The "X" should be replaced with our current game year.

Not since Blair and Brown on old Earth has a duo been so effective in government, yet so public in their disagreements.

[Drogue]

Thanks, I have updated. Should the X be our current year or the year of the pop growth? I have put current in now, and it matters little, but if it is meant to be a different one, please tell me and I will edit.

I am pretty chuffed with this actually Thanks for the effort everyone, the articles were great

[Drogue]

I mean what mistake? There was never a mistake

(I love these 1984 outbursts, the one in the Turn Tracking thread really worried JDM )

[Drogue]

Have posted on the main ACDG forum here.

Am currently in the process of making a website to perminantly hold all the back issues. Could be used to get more people interested in the DG, and in our faction.

[Corellion]

Curses... they've caught me on that one. I had not noticed the misuse of "virus" terminology.

Quickly, we need to come up with a plausible explanation... we can't lose face!

[Corellion]

BTW, in the "Where in the World is Colonel Santiago" article, change the CISCO reference (which we didn't end up going with) to either "Corellion", "The Internal Affairs Function" (or whatever it ends up being called), or just tell them to post it in the thread itself. I'm wondering if there's anybody out there right now who is searching the Apolyton member's list desperately for "CISCO"...

[Maniac]

Quickly, we need to come up with a plausible explanation...

Just tell him that an ignorant drone should not try to tell us Cyborgs the meaning of the word "virus". :brag:

[Method]

hey! story editer!

you might as well put your name on that article, i didn't write it

[Corellion]

After looking at the post in the actual 3D thread, many appear to be under the impression that there is no correct answer for the first "Colonel Santiago". In fact, I designed it so there was one (although I apparently made the clues too obscure, as nobody seems to have gotten that). In case anybody PMs Drogue with a answer, the solutions was "The Monsoon Jungle".

[Drogue]

I have come up with an explaination. Obviously we do not wish to alienate those non-technically skilled fullhumans, and thus must pander somewhat to our readership. Therefore we used a generic term, instead of a specific one, so that more people can understand it, while defining it later so that those that wish to know will get the full information. To alienate a large proportion of our readership with unnecessarily technical terms would be illogical.

TKG: I am sorry you feel that way, but I posted your article and it was decided that we could not post it, as it gave away too much information about it. Therefore I took the first part, and the last part, and tried a 1984 style thing so that we did not tell them about PEACE. The reason it still has your name is because the intention was that it was transmitted, but cut after a short while to be censored, and thus when the first bit was transmitted, it was expected to publis your story, but that it was censored. Think of it as a streaming broadcast and it makes more sense. I am sorry if you feel aggrieved, but it was either do something fun that will mislead the others (hence the Believers referances) or not publish it at all, which seemed a shame considering the RP that could be had.

When the transmission was started, it was your story that was expected, it wasn't censored until part of the transmission was sent.

Corellion: Isn't the idea to have a new clue each issue, which helps people find out where she is. I didn't think anyone was to guess where she was yet, but it would take a few more clues?

[Drogue]

This thread has been topped, as will all directorial offices.

I'd also like to echo the first post: TKG rules (Minor peace offering)

[Corellion]

While in the standard "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego", there are multiple clues as to the location of Carmen. However, there are only a certain number (3 I think), and after that you have to go to where the clues indicate. After that, you find she has already left, and have a new series of clues to determine where she went to afterwards. Thus, I was intending for the clues to allow people to guess, but once they guess correctly and go there, they find a new set.

[Maniac]

Thanks for the explanation. So that means it's entirely up to us to decide when Santiago will finally be found instead of already moved away?

[Corellion]

Yes... but let's try and wrap it up sometime around when the game is about to end methinks. And, Great GooglieGod forbid, if we're about to be eliminated, we can claim that after escaping from the last location, she underwent cosmetic surgery and implanted herself into the upper echelons of the invading faction, determined to claim vengence for the Cybernetic Consciousness, who though she spent her life trying to evade, she had gained a great respect for.

[Drogue]

Is she a CyCon then? I always thought she was an independent?

[Drogue]

Corellion: Can you write on the 3D thread the rules and details for Where in the World? I think some clarificiation would be good, and I don't want to mess it up and get it all wrong Thanks.

[Corellion]

Drogue: She is an independent. However, in the show, although Carmen spent her life avoiding the detectives, she grew to admire them (I think I remember that she started her career as an ACME detective). This was why she left the clues, and she enjoyed leading them around. It's pure speculation... mostly just to kajole whichever faction would (although they wouldn't) invade and eliminate us.

Also Drogue: Sure, I'll get to it later tonight (I've got some University registration things to do).

[Drogue]

Thanks Corellion. Makes it a lot more clear I just had my senior prom last night, so I'm a little tired too, and also resulting in yesterday being the first day I have had completely offline since my exams a few weeks ago.

[Drogue]

I have a proposal for 3D. I think many people do not read the whole thing, as it is large and daunting (and as I do with Pravda) therefore I recommend that we spit it up. I think every 2 weeks we should release 3D with all the regular features, such as the Caption Competition, Where in the World, The Philosophical Section, One Final Though, etc. but release all the news articles as “3D Extras”, that is as soon as they are ready, they are released on their own. That mens 3D will be there more often giving it a higher profile, be easier to read (each story is not too much to read, and will be read by more) meaning that we can mislead people more easily but still lets us have all our features and fun parts.

What do you think? I will poll in a day or two, and if accepted, this will come into effect next issue.

[Corellion]

Sounds good. I won't be here in a few days, so count my vote as an affirmative.

I'll try and get the next WITWICS (That's a great acronym) done before I leave, but there are no guaranties.

[Maniac]

In the spirit of Drogue's idea of 3D extras, can I release this fictional article?

***

Following the Hive example we present you an exclusive documentary: CyCon Government in times of SASS - How does it work?



Mani Alpha-3 is Second Function of the Cybernetic Consciousness. As the title of that function indicates, it is only of secondary importance. As evidence, see this extract of the preliminary Cybernetic Constitution:

The Second Function has the responsibility to:

• Poll for Social Engineering Changes
• Start Nominations and Elections: Nominations should be posted on the 20th of every month, and elections, where needed, on the 27th of every month, lasting for 3 days (for details see Article 10: Government Policy).
• Be the Turn Player when the Prime Function is unavailable, or designate a replacement.
• Be, or designate, a replacement for any elected official

"All a Second Function has to do," so Mani Alpha-3 thought, "is organize a few Social Engineering polls in the next few decades, and post an election poll once in a while." A dream job! You have few responsibilities, but have a good salary and a fancy title you can brag about when you finally meet Claire Forlani. Sure, completely at the end of the list of responsibilities there is something mentioned about "replacing absent functions", but who thought this would ever be necessary? After all, besides Mani Alpha-3, the two biggest spammers contributors in the CyCon datalinks are Prime Function Drogue Beta-8 and Internal Affairs Function Corelli Omega-9. It was guaranteed: Second Function was gonna be a luxury life. That thought, dear readers, was the biggest mistake in Mani Alpha-3's cybernetic life!

For Mani Alpha-3 had not counted on such insidious viruses as the Severe Acute Sluggish Syndrome (SASS). In a matter of days both the Prime Function and the Internal Affairs Function had to report for maintenance, to delete the virus out of their systems. This left only Mani Alpha-3 at the helm of the Consciousness, well together with Function Delta "Who-Does-Not-Speak-English-Very-Well". He now had to take care of three of the four government functions. This gave some practical problems, so Mani Alpha-3 found out. For example, twenty years ago the architect of our Headquarters Apolyton Prime had the wonderful idea of organizing the base in a square "as that is so mathematically perfect". All the living quarters were in the center, and the four government buildings were in the very corners of that square base plan, to symbolize the government protecting the cyborg citizens against the dangers outside. That may be a nice symbol, but it isn't very promoting for state efficiency.

For example when a few days ago the Internal Affairs Function, currently Mani Alpha-3 in other words, wanted to organize a poll where to found a new base, the plans for that poll had to be created in the Internal Affairs building at Ygrec Corner. Then, according to the constitution, the poll plans have to be transferred to the Second Function department at Upsilon Corner to control if everything is done according to regulations. "Checks and balances. Very democratic!" it is called. Normally these plans are transmitted by the datalinks, but due to a network overload this was not possible. As a consequence thousands of research papers, geological reports of fitting base sites and organizational plans for the referendum had to be moved from Ygrek Corner to Upsilon Corner by truck, a drive of 12 kilometers. The length between the corners of the square could have been made shorter - after all only 20000 cyborgs lived in Poly Prime - but Poly Prime's architect decided to make the square sides 12 km "as that is such a mathematically perfect number: it can be divided by 1, 2, 3, 4, 6 and 12! " But Mani Alpha-3 remained patient. He would let the bureaucrats move the paperwork to his office at Upsilon Corner. In the meanwhile he could rest a little...

A few hours later though, the paperwork still hadn't arrived. When Mani Alpha-3 asked what was wrong, it appeared the truck driver had mistaken the street names and delivered the papers to Epsilon Corner instead of Upsilon Corner, because he was a little stressed. Can you believe it? Stressed? He was being guided by adrenaline. "Perhaps Unimatrix 001 wasn't such a good idea after all." Mani Alpha-3 pondered. Anyway, after some more problems the papers arrived at Upsilon Corner and were checked for their legality. Finally the poll could be put online on the datalinks. There would be a lively debate between many politically interested cyborgs, and the results would be sent to the Prime Function department at Ypsilon Corner where the executive orders would be signed by Mani Alpha-3.

That lively debate didn't happen though. After two days only two people had voted in the poll, one of which was Mani Alpha-3 himself. Five more minutes later, every cyborg received the following telepathic message: "Okay guys, from now on I'll decide everything on my own!! "

THAT, my friends, is CyCon democracy at work.

[Method]

Originally posted by Maniac
Function Delta "Who-Does-Not-Speak-English-Very-Well"