3D Offices

[Chaunk]

3D Extra perhaps?

[Maniac]

All right. I've put together a small issue of 3D. Instead of plainly announcing the new government, I first continued on the storyline of me being psychologically evaluated. This leaves me in doubt whether I should call the article "New government announced!", "Cause of Prime Function's odd behaviour discovered!" or something entirely else like "Of Colds and Faulty Logic". Suggestions for a good title are welcome!

If a title is found, and if there is no critique or suggestions for improvements or other articles, I would plan to release the issue tomorrow.

Edit: I changed some spelling errors in my article, and changed the title.

***

Digital Data Download (3D) - Issue 3.333333





Of Colds and Faulty Logic - by Mani Alpha-3

In the latest edition of 3D, your humble servants of the 3D redaction reported that the then Prime Function Mani Alpha-3 was taken into custody for a psychological evaluation in the research hospital. After a long medical examination the cause of his odd behaviour was revealed. It appears that during a routine implant maintenance an old version of the Unimatrix Zero network uplink chip was accidentally implanted in Mani Alpha-3. As Internal Affairs Function Corelli Omega-9 reported in the previous 3D, this implant leads to faulty logic due to a malfunctioning energy-saving feature. This, besides the clouding effects inherent to having emotions, explains the irrational behaviour of Mani Alpha-3: putting most vital functions in prison.

To recover from his irrational adventures, and because he is researching the recently discovered phenomenon "busy real life", Mani Alpha-3 decided to take it a little easy the next term and resign as Prime Function. He will still stay active though in the new Term 0100 Government; as External Affairs Function, an office that will hopefully require less time to be spent on it. Furthermore it is believed that due to his extensive experience with emotions and faulty logic, Mani Alpha-3 will be more able to understand the arguments used by fullhuman factions in diplomatic negotiations.

There are other changes as well in the new government. After taking a month off because he had some problems with his "CD-ROM" implant, Drogue Beta-8 returns to his old office of Prime Function, switching spots with Mani Alpha-3. He is currently plagued by an insidious non-computer virus called "the cold", but he has assured us that this will not interfere with his duties. As for the Second Function's Office, Function Delta will take residence there for the next term. He replaces Chaunk Omicron-7, who will be fully involved in researching the "busy real life" phenomenon together with Mani Alpha-3. And last but not the least, the duties of Internal Affairs Function will be taken care of by Corelli Omega-9 for the third consecutive time.

Summarized, the new Cybernetic Consciousness Term 0100 Government looks like this:

Prime Function: Drogue Beta-8
Second Function: Function Delta
Internal Affairs Function: Corelli Omega-9
External Affairs Function: Mani Alpha-3





Where in the World is Colonel Santiago? - by Corelli Omega-9

Why hadn't you thought of it sooner? All the signs were there, right under your nose! And yet it took you so long to see through the clues. The machete, the trees, the river boat, the limited provisions... it all makes sense.

You've thought this over several times during your trip to the Monsoon Jungle, where you determined that Colonel Santiago must be. You would have continued turning it over in your mind further, had the oversight of the operation not taken up so much of your time. You now busy yourself co-ordinating search teams and investigating all possible evidence of Colonel Santiago found. So far, nothing of any relevance has been found beyond that all-important clue you located during the first month of the search. A note from Santiago herself, smudged and discarded in the jungle.

It is altogether fitting [illegible] space [illegible] is in many ways a [illegible] rugged terrain [illegible] enemy strongholds [illegible] Planet is ours for the taking!

She's planning something, but what? And is there any significance to the hundreds of drained laser rifles you've found scattered around? And more importantly, where do you go next?

Special thanks to HongHu for solving the riddles and identifying the Monsoon Jungle as Colonel Santiago's hiding place.



The Caption Competition

Because there were so many excellent suggestions last time, I held a poll in the Collective to decide the winner. I expected the votes to be divided between many captions, but soon a clear majority became apparent for only one suggestion. Therefore, with right and reason I can announce that the winner is...



"Scared, you should be. Result of night of excessive drinking, this is."
-- Octavian X


Because this is only an intermezzo issue of 3D, there's no new picture this time. You'll have to wait for Issue 4.



Faits divers - by Mani Alpha-3

• After first switching production from the Human Genome Project to the Weather Paradigm and Virtual World, our secret project production now seems to have stopped for no reason. The affair is still under investigation...
• Corelli Omega-9 and Chaunk Omicron-7 voluntarily imprisoned to prove they are vital functions as well.
• UFO still flying over CyCon territory. Attempts to shoot it down with a Unity mining laser unsuccessful.
• After TassieGod first revealed his existence, there were some cyborgs claiming that GooglieGod was the only true deity and that worshipping TassaGod was idolry. To solve this practical problem, TassieGod fortunately released TWODEITIES.EXE, a revolutionary new program that will allow all CyCons to worship two gods.

[Drogue]

If you can wait until later tonight, I will write a story on the bunnies near Pi Square, as we haven't heard about that for a while. Also I'll find a new caption and some pics, and maybe even a philosophical section of "Conversations with GooglieGod and his new assistant Tassadar" and see if we can get a full issue. Would be nice to get issue 4 out

[Maniac]

Ah that would be great!

[Corellion]

I like "Of Colds and Faulty Logic", very Tolkeinesque.

[Maniac]

As Drogue Beta-8 wants to aim for a full 3D issue, I wrote another article that could be included in our new issue. It describes how education in our CyCon society could work. I think it would be cool to have such an article in every 3D issue, lighting a certain aspect of cybernetic society, eg the politics, economics, military, some cultural custom...

A Cybernetic society at work : Education - by Mani Alpha-3

In this new series of articles, 3D hopes to shed light upon a different aspect of Cybernetic society in each 3D issue. Today's issue: "Education in CyCon society: How does it work?"

For children younger than twelve Terran years, education almost entirely consists of didactic laser memory imprints. This procedure comprises bringing the child into a state of hypnosis, and then rapidly flashing whole waves of directed holograms into the eyes of the child. In the hypnotic state the child is highly susceptible for new information. All in all the procedure takes one hour, a period of which the child has no conscious memory due to the hypnosis. Thus one could say the subject matter is loaded directly into the brain, the rate being varied according to an individual's ability to absorb it.

School for cyborg children consists of a weekly visit to the network node for a didactic memory-absorption assessment, and then the imprint of a new memory package. This leaves children with considerable time on their hands, creating a large industry of children's creches to keep them occupied through organized games and events, and helping to develop their social skills. Efficiency and didactic value is of course a prime concern for the creche leaders when choosing what games to play.

When they have reached the age of twelve, and the brains and personality have almost fully developed, the children receive their first cybernetic implant. This happens during the annual Implant Ceremony, a day which children and their proud parents look forward to with great expectations. After that, besides the usual imprint sessions, the children have to grow familiar with the many possibilities of their implant, and the new experience of contributing to the Collective Mind. Fortunately Athena is ever present to assist and guide them in their curious explorations.

Basic education is completed at around age sixteen, after which the majority of children, to be more precise 88%, have the opportunity to go on to universities, which employ a combination of didactic imprint and traditional tutorial sessions or research projects aimed at developing students' intellects and analytical abilities. Based on the subject they choose, they receive a second set of implants which specialize for a certain profession. A few years later when the students graduate, each cyborg gets his or her official designation, again based on the discipline they are graduating on. A few examples of such designations are "Beta-8 : Economics", "Alpha-3 : Political Sciences" and "Delta-1 : Military Strategies".

For the remainder there are job-related specialization imprint courses, where appropriate, e.g. maintenance and machine operation, which the average citizen will continue to take throughout their working life.

[Corellion]

clap clap clap clap

Wonderful. I'll see if I can find time to contribute another article.

[Drogue]

Sorry about the delay, didn't get to do as much as I wanted last night, as my brother came back from the US and my girlfriend was upset and needed consolling (her first day back at school today). Should get articles and draft printed here tonight

With education, if we are telepathic, surely we know everything every other CyCon knows already? Will read more fully later though

[Corellion]

Perhaps, given that we have not yet perfected our neural connections (i.e. have not researched either MMI or even Neural Graphing... nor Secrets of the Human Brain, for that matter) it is not yet efficient enough to allow for continual access to everybody's mind, only updates at infrequent intervals (like every year). We could even make a factional holiday out of it (CyCon Uplink Day).

[Maniac]

Originally posted by Drogue
With education, if we are telepathic, surely we know everything every other CyCon knows already? Will read more fully later though

AFAIK at least now our cybernetic form of "telepathy" simply means we can communicate our thoughts directly with each other using certain technology. IMHO it doesn't mean we have all the knowledge of other cyborgs memorized (though we can access that information more easily), nor do we have all the skills, talents and insights of any other cyborg.

To give a comparison, it's not because one has the possibility to read all books in a library, that one knows and can independently remember what's written in those books. Likewise, through our limited telepathic abilities provided by our implants, we can access oceans of information, but that doesn't mean we as individual cyborgs directly know all that information without making any effort.

[Corellion]

Yes, your explanation is much better.

[Drogue]

Ahh, Ok, that makes sense. Anyway sorry for the delay, things keep happening here. I would suggest to post it if you want, if I can I will find pics and write an article or two for it. I am sorry for this, things keep happening to keep me away from 'Poly

[Maniac]

I would suggest to post it if you want

If you don't find any time to write new article(s), should I release it as Issue 3.333 or Issue 4?

[Drogue]

I'd go for an extra, or wait a day or two for my article and release a full version. Sorry about this, much has happened recently (some of which is evidenced in my sig )

Edit: This thread has been untopped, due to losing 2-5 in the poll regarding it.

[Maniac]

I posted an extra edition now with the "Of Colds and Faulty Logic" article. After all an article announcing the new government when September has been going for quite a few days already would be a bit odd.
I haven't included any other article though. That way we don't need to write many more articles for a new full issue, and we can hopefully still release Issue 4 in a few days.

Great sig btw.

[Maniac]

A new fait divers:

• Civil war almost erupts over the question: "How many threads should be topped?"

A possible caption, since there are so many pirate parrot references:

[Corellion]

Oohhhhh, that will REALLY incence them. Great picture!

[Maniac]

Originally posted by Corellion
incence

Does that mean "make angry"?

We could of course always write an article we've developed a new weapon of mass destruction, and include this picture.

[Corellion]

Yes, it does.

This sounds perfect... I can probably work on it later this afternoon if you'd like me to.

[Maniac]

That would be great.

[Drogue]

Like it We could do a "mini adventure" for the topped threads story if you want? If you haven't seen the adverts, they are for the new Mini (made by BMW). Things like "Martians are trying to take over the world. New Mini foils them. The end - it's a mini adventure"

"Debate over topped threads threatens civil war. Poll solves the issue. The end - it's a mini adventure"

Edit:

Originally posted by Maniac
Great sig btw.

Thanks

[DeathByTheSword]

love is an emotion...hmmm...

'civil war erupt over emotions of the Prime function'

[Drogue]

[Corellion]

Just a little reminder.

http://www.cs.uga.edu/~lamothe/encryptor.html

[Corellion]

From the Office of the Internal and External Affairs Functions:

Greetings once again fellow CyConians. Today, the Office of the Internal Affairs Function, along with the Office of the External Affairs Function, have a ground-breaking announcement to make. Over the years, our faction has been protected from hostile forces by the most powerful weapon at our disposal… the tactical gorilla. For almost 34.97 years, the gorilla has served as our first-line defense against mindworms, spore launchers, and even the occasional Isle of the Deep attack. In all cases, the gorillas exhibited exemplary performance, and kept our populace safe and productive, helping to keep our efficiency at the incredible levels we find it today.


Archives: A Tactical Gorilla

However, in recent years, certain aspects of the tactical gorilla have proven insufficient for new tasks that have been expected of it. Due to the nature of the tactical gorilla’s movement, its effectiveness in offensive assaults is much lower than it should be. The size of the gorillas, accompanied by their relatively slow speeds, while making them superb for defense, proved liabilities when they attacked. In response, in 2132.8792, CyCon researchers set about the task of creating a new weapon, one more suited to offence and to the difficult terrain of Chiron. We would like to announce that this feat has finally been accomplished. We present…


The Combat Parrot

Utilising the latest technological advances, the combat parrots have the ability to perform bombing runs at a range of up to two thousand kilometres, more than 100 times the range of natural parrots. Their cybernetically-enhanced bodies, in addition to increasing their intelligence past that of most full-humans, greatly enhance strength and endurance, allowing them to withstand the shot from a particle-impactor. They can carry an ordinance of up to one tonne, and can be outfitted with many modules to enhance performance in specific fields. So far, combat parrots have begun patrolling our territory, executing search-and-destroy missions against mindworms. The uses of the combat parrot are not entirely military, however, and they can be used for a variety of purposes. Three combat parrots of the highest quality have been sent to CyCon DOSC to help search for dangerous offenders.

The parrots have also been equipped with special software to allow them to interlink at any time with the entire network of tactical gorillas. The result is that precision attacks, involving co-ordination between the aerial and ground forces, are now even easier to plan and execute.

With this new weapon under our control, our faction is now safer than ever.

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Corelli Omega-9, Mani Alpha-3
Internal Affairs Function, External Affairs Function

[Corellion]

I like this article... I especially want to see PEACE's reaction.

[Corellion]

All we need is a new caption contest, and maybe an article from the Prime Function, and I believe this issue is ready to ship!

[Maniac]

Great article!!

A small layout question: Would it look better if the pictures were centered?

All we need is a new caption contest

We could still use the parrot picture. A good way to get reactions about the article.

and maybe an article from the Prime Function, and I believe this issue is ready to ship!

Well the previous issue has seven articles. Currently we have five. If Drogue can find the time to finish that DBTSverse Portal, I think we should wait a little. If not, go to press I assume!

[Corellion]

Originally posted by Maniac
Great article!!

Thank you.

A small layout question: Would it look better if the pictures were centered?

Yes. Thank you again.
edit: Err... how again?

We could still use the parrot picture. A good way to get reactions about the article.

Good idea... let's go with it.

Well the previous issue has seven articles. Currently we have five. If Drogue can find the time to finish that DBTSverse Portal, I think we should wait a little. If not, go to press I assume!

Sounds great! Hoorah!

[Maniac]

Originally posted by Corellion
Yes. Thank you again.
edit: Err... how again?

By using the < center > tags, without spaces between center and the < and >s.
I added them myself, then you can see easier how it's done in practice. (I will remove the changes if you want of course)

Edit: I also edited the large binary message layout to see what it looks like. What do you think?