May 18, 2003, 23:09
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#31
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Prince
Local Time: 19:52
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: UT, Austin - The live music capital of the world
Posts: 884
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that word is sooo annoying 
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May 19, 2003, 13:02
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#32
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Deity
Local Time: 18:52
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: In a bamboo forest hiding from Dale.
Posts: 17,436
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Woman: So honey, how was your day?
Translation: I don't give a rat's ass about your day and I want you to ask me about mine.
Woman: You will love meeting my parents!
Traslation: You had BETTER at least pretend you're having a good time.
__________________
Christianity is the belief in a cosmic Jewish zombie who can give us eternal life if we symbolically eat his flesh and blood and telepathically tell him that we accept him as our lord and master so he can remove an evil force present in all humanity because a woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from an apple tree.
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May 19, 2003, 13:13
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#33
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Emperor
Local Time: 01:52
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Mu Mu Land
Posts: 6,570
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Honey, do you think she's cute?
What she is thinking: You better say no I will drop you like a bad habit you SOB!
What he is thinking: Threesome!!!
What do you want for dinner
Her: What are you cooking
Him: What are you cooking (not a good reply)
The lawn needs mowing
Her: Mow the lawn you lazy sack of ****!
Him: I mowed it last month!
I love you
Her: Will you pay my car insurance?
Him: Give it up!
Can you do me a favor?
This is prbably the worst question a woman can begin a sentence with because you know they are not going to ask you to something small. You will end up taking them to the airport at 4am, painting the house, or snaking out the toilet with your toothbrush. I have found the best thing to say is 'What?' and walk away...
Your a really nice guy
Lets just be friends
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May 19, 2003, 14:11
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#34
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Emperor
Local Time: 04:52
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Xrr ZRRRRRRR!!
Posts: 6,484
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I wish more guys were like you
- I wish you had lots of money, then I'd love you, but right now I don't fancy you at all.
I can really talk to you, you understand me
- Your efforts of sleeping with me are slim to none but I like it that you shut up and look interested.
__________________
In da butt.
"Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others." - Confucius
THE UNDEFEATED SUPERCITIZEN w:4 t:2 l:1 (DON'T ASK!)
"God is dead" - Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" - God.
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May 19, 2003, 14:20
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#35
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Deity
Local Time: 02:52
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Germans own my soul.
Posts: 14,861
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Lincoln
What did she say to you then?
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That reminds me, whenever a woman asks 'so what did you say?/what did they say?' they want a complete transcript of the whole damn dialogue. Like I remember!
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May 19, 2003, 14:21
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#36
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Just another peon
Local Time: 20:52
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Nov 1999
Location: who killed Poly
Posts: 22,919
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For grins.
__________________
The OT at APOLYTON is like watching the Special Olympics. Certain people try so hard to debate despite their handicaps.
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May 19, 2003, 14:21
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#37
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Emperor
Local Time: 21:52
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Jul 1999
Posts: 5,605
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Yes
Yes/No/Maybe
No
Yes/No/Maybe
Maybe
Yes/No/Maybe
__________________
"For just twenty cents a day, we'll moisten your dreams with man urine." -Space Ghost
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May 19, 2003, 14:21
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#38
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Emperor
Local Time: 04:52
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Xrr ZRRRRRRR!!
Posts: 6,484
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__________________
In da butt.
"Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others." - Confucius
THE UNDEFEATED SUPERCITIZEN w:4 t:2 l:1 (DON'T ASK!)
"God is dead" - Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" - God.
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May 19, 2003, 14:25
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#39
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Emperor
Local Time: 04:52
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: A pub.
Posts: 3,161
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rah, loinburger. 
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May 19, 2003, 14:27
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#40
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Deity
Local Time: 18:52
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: In a bamboo forest hiding from Dale.
Posts: 17,436
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Woman: I think that suit makes you look destinguished.
Translation: You look like an old fart with a receding hair line and I'm going to have to find a new sugar daddy.
__________________
Christianity is the belief in a cosmic Jewish zombie who can give us eternal life if we symbolically eat his flesh and blood and telepathically tell him that we accept him as our lord and master so he can remove an evil force present in all humanity because a woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from an apple tree.
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May 19, 2003, 14:27
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#41
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Just another peon
Local Time: 20:52
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Nov 1999
Location: who killed Poly
Posts: 22,919
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Yep, thanks for that smudge button. 
__________________
The OT at APOLYTON is like watching the Special Olympics. Certain people try so hard to debate despite their handicaps.
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May 19, 2003, 14:29
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#42
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Deity
Local Time: 18:52
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: In a bamboo forest hiding from Dale.
Posts: 17,436
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Woman: Honey, you work to hard.
Translation: You're spending all your time at work now come home and baby site your little brats while I go get my hair done.
__________________
Christianity is the belief in a cosmic Jewish zombie who can give us eternal life if we symbolically eat his flesh and blood and telepathically tell him that we accept him as our lord and master so he can remove an evil force present in all humanity because a woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from an apple tree.
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May 19, 2003, 14:34
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#43
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Just another peon
Local Time: 20:52
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Nov 1999
Location: who killed Poly
Posts: 22,919
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Honey, can you buy that for me?
Translation: Buy that for me.
__________________
The OT at APOLYTON is like watching the Special Olympics. Certain people try so hard to debate despite their handicaps.
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May 19, 2003, 14:53
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#44
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Emperor
Local Time: 20:52
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,253
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I can't imagine anything that big ever, ever going inside me.
I don't like you enough to get streched and ruin all subsequent sexual relationships.
__________________
"Yay Apoc!!!!!!!" - bipolarbear
"At least there were some thoughts went into Apocalypse." - Urban Ranger
"Apocalype was a great game." - DrSpike
"In Apoc, I had one soldier who lasted through the entire game... was pretty cool. I like apoc for that reason, the soldiers are a bit more 'personal'." - General Ludd
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May 19, 2003, 14:59
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#45
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Deity
Local Time: 02:52
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Germans own my soul.
Posts: 14,861
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Re: Womanese
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Boddington's
A few different ones..
Do you have a girlfriend?
You are CUTE! Are you on the market?[/b]
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I've had women ask me that before 
But alas, whenever I say 'no' they always reply 'well I have' 
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May 19, 2003, 15:20
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#46
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Emperor
Local Time: 04:52
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: A pub.
Posts: 3,161
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Apocalypse
I can't imagine anything that big ever, ever going inside me.
I don't like you enough to get streched and ruin all subsequent sexual relationships.
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May 19, 2003, 16:17
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#47
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Emperor
Local Time: 21:52
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: San Antonio, TX
Posts: 4,264
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Apocalypse
I can't imagine anything that big ever, ever going inside me.
I don't like you enough to get streched and ruin all subsequent sexual relationships.
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Obviously spoken by a woman who has never given vaginal birth...
Trust me: nothing hanging inside your trousers is anywhere near the size of an eight-pound baby.
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May 19, 2003, 16:19
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#48
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Emperor
Local Time: 04:52
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: A pub.
Posts: 3,161
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Thank god.  
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May 19, 2003, 16:20
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#49
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Deity
Local Time: 18:52
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: In a bamboo forest hiding from Dale.
Posts: 17,436
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An eight pound slong would be rather impressive.
__________________
Christianity is the belief in a cosmic Jewish zombie who can give us eternal life if we symbolically eat his flesh and blood and telepathically tell him that we accept him as our lord and master so he can remove an evil force present in all humanity because a woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from an apple tree.
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May 19, 2003, 16:20
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#50
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Emperor
Local Time: 21:52
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: San Antonio, TX
Posts: 4,264
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-"I love you so much and I can't imagine being married to anyone else. You have given me a wonderful life."
No translation needed.
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May 19, 2003, 16:22
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#51
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Deity
Local Time: 18:52
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: In a bamboo forest hiding from Dale.
Posts: 17,436
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Quote:
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Originally posted by JohnT
-"I love you so much and I can't imagine being married to anyone else. You have given me a wonderful life."
No translation needed.
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Translation: I guess I'll settle for you. 
__________________
Christianity is the belief in a cosmic Jewish zombie who can give us eternal life if we symbolically eat his flesh and blood and telepathically tell him that we accept him as our lord and master so he can remove an evil force present in all humanity because a woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from an apple tree.
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May 19, 2003, 16:23
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#52
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Emperor
Local Time: 21:52
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: San Antonio, TX
Posts: 4,264
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Wrong. My wife  adores me.
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May 19, 2003, 16:24
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#53
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Deity
Local Time: 18:52
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: In a bamboo forest hiding from Dale.
Posts: 17,436
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Just razzing you.
__________________
Christianity is the belief in a cosmic Jewish zombie who can give us eternal life if we symbolically eat his flesh and blood and telepathically tell him that we accept him as our lord and master so he can remove an evil force present in all humanity because a woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from an apple tree.
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May 19, 2003, 16:29
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#54
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Emperor
Local Time: 20:52
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,253
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Quote:
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Originally posted by JohnT
Obviously spoken by a woman who has never given vaginal birth...
Trust me: nothing hanging inside your trousers is anywhere near the size of an eight-pound baby.
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1. Babies go out, not in.
2. During birth the mother has many hormones working to lessen the pain while that isn't the case during sex.
__________________
"Yay Apoc!!!!!!!" - bipolarbear
"At least there were some thoughts went into Apocalypse." - Urban Ranger
"Apocalype was a great game." - DrSpike
"In Apoc, I had one soldier who lasted through the entire game... was pretty cool. I like apoc for that reason, the soldiers are a bit more 'personal'." - General Ludd
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May 19, 2003, 16:33
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#55
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Deity
Local Time: 18:52
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: In a bamboo forest hiding from Dale.
Posts: 17,436
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Please, women, like men, have a million different hormones telling them to ignore the skin which has been rubbed raw and keep having fun.
__________________
Christianity is the belief in a cosmic Jewish zombie who can give us eternal life if we symbolically eat his flesh and blood and telepathically tell him that we accept him as our lord and master so he can remove an evil force present in all humanity because a woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from an apple tree.
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May 19, 2003, 17:02
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#56
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Emperor
Local Time: 21:52
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: San Antonio, TX
Posts: 4,264
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Apocalypse
1. Babies go out, not in.
2. During birth the mother has many hormones working to lessen the pain while that isn't the case during sex.
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Don't forget the drugs!!
Gentlemen, I have seen the gaping maw that is a woman's birth canal just prior to giving birth and I will re-iterate: there is nothing in your trousers that big.
I'm not saying that some men aren't so big that they'll cause pain, but in terms of "fit", a woman will... uh... rebound quite nicely.
Unless they are true ho's.
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May 19, 2003, 17:05
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#57
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Emperor
Local Time: 20:52
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Oct 1999
Location: of Fear and Oil
Posts: 5,892
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I'll be ready in 5 minutes.
I'll be ready in 2 hours.
__________________
"Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before. He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way. "
-Bokonon
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May 19, 2003, 17:12
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#58
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Emperor
Local Time: 20:52
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,253
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Quote:
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Originally posted by JohnT
Don't forget the drugs!!
Gentlemen, I have seen the gaping maw that is a woman's birth canal just prior to giving birth and I will re-iterate: there is nothing in your trousers that big.
I'm not saying that some men aren't so big that they'll cause pain, but in terms of "fit", a woman will... uh... rebound quite nicely.
Unless they are true ho's.
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Yes, yes, I know it could fit.
I never said the original comment was directed at me either. But then again, I never said it wasn't directed at me
Not that it matters.
__________________
"Yay Apoc!!!!!!!" - bipolarbear
"At least there were some thoughts went into Apocalypse." - Urban Ranger
"Apocalype was a great game." - DrSpike
"In Apoc, I had one soldier who lasted through the entire game... was pretty cool. I like apoc for that reason, the soldiers are a bit more 'personal'." - General Ludd
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May 19, 2003, 17:27
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#59
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Guest
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Oh, he and I are just friends
I'm ****ing his brains out behind your back.
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May 19, 2003, 17:27
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#60
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Deity
Local Time: 18:52
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: In a bamboo forest hiding from Dale.
Posts: 17,436
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Woman: She looks lovely in that dress.
Translation: That ***** looks way better then me. I don't want to stand next to her because she'll make my thighs look fat.
__________________
Christianity is the belief in a cosmic Jewish zombie who can give us eternal life if we symbolically eat his flesh and blood and telepathically tell him that we accept him as our lord and master so he can remove an evil force present in all humanity because a woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from an apple tree.
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