COMRADES!
WE GREET EACH DAY WITH THE TRUTH!
Lenin's Birthday Edition of the Russian Newspaper "Pravda" which means "The Truth"
Welcome comrades to the third special edition ot the offical newsletter of the Human Hive. All hail to the glorious Chairman Voltaire and the members of the Peoples' advisory council!
This Issue : - PRAVDA interviews
Professor Comrade Tassadar !
- Comrade Frankychan tells all !
- More Hive elections !
- All the news you'll ever need !
================================
PRAVDA Meets Tassadar
Q: Comrade Tassadar, could you please inform our readers as to what role you played in the University?
A: Certainly, Comrade. I was the Chief Editor of the University Tribune and one of the prime intellects.
Q: Comrade, what made you change your mind about the University? Why did you defect?
A: Quite simple. The University, while claiming to be benevolent, was oppressive. Curtailed freedom of speech was the main issue I had. Also, I just could not resist the glory of the Hive....And the idea that I can help spread socialism across the globe.
Q: Comrade, why did you join the University in the first place?
A: Believe it or not, it seemed like the best place to join and for a while I was quite content with it. But then....I began seeing the opression
and more and more I began seeing the hives glory and how all comrades were happy there.....So I decided to leave.
Q: Comrade, how did you get away? How did you find our base? That is top secret!!!
A: Do not worry Comrade for the base will always remain secret!!! However....In the middle of the night, I left my offices and noticed that there were very few people whom were still awake. I went to the store and used capitalist dollars in
order to buy food and energy drinks....And then I set off. But I had a challenge that I needed to overcome in order to escape! I walked through the halls, attempting to make my steps as quiet as they could be (and therefore had to remove my shoes before I even left) but when I got to the exit.......It was blocked!!! "How will I get across" I asked myself. If I attempted to leave, alarms would sound and I would be caught!!!
However, then I remembered the password!!! "Rossiyaosvechenayanashadyershavarossiyalyubimayana shastranamoguchayavolyavelikayaslavadoyodostayanye nashedvremyenaslavsyaotechevsanashesvobodnoyebrask iknarodovsoyuzvekovoypredkamidannayamudrosnarodnay aslavsyastranamygordimsyatoboy!" I typed into the small control panel. The password was accepted!!! Then I set off....
Q: It is widely known that "capitalistfungus" is on Planet, and surely you must have crossed it. What was it like?
A: Certainly I crossed it, and it was horrifying!!! I walked into the
capitalistfungus, and.....I began seeing droves of these worms. They began to go after me and I had no defensive weapon other than my primitive pistol!!! What was I to do? I began to run, but the fungus began to grow and entrenched me...The mindworms began to crawl up to my head and I lay in a verticle position with
the fungus tying me up in itself almost as if it were alive!! However, just as they were about to kill me...A glorious child came and using his intellectual integrity forced the fungus and the mindworms off me!! I was amazed and I looked at this child whom simply smiled!!! It appeared as if he did not speak
Russian, Chinese, nor English....And I adopted him as my own. I named him....FRANKYCHAN! We continued walking, when he finally asked his first question:
Q: Comrade, I apologize however you did not answer one of my questions. Exactly how did you find the hive?
A: In all truthfullness, comrade, I do not know. I think it has something to
do with the child....Sometimes when I would turn one way, he would begin complaining until I turned to the right direction. And after 6 days and 6 nights...I saw a base. I looked up in the night sky, and right above the base was a star....A star of Communism. I knew I had found the base.....The base of glory.
Q: How does life in the Hive compare to life in the University?
A: Live in the hive is glorious!!! Before I was stuck in an
office....Sometimes being chastized for what I had written, but now I get full freedom of speech, and freedom of movement. Sometimes I go help out workers at the base lift heavy objects, sometimes I attempt to invent new things, and often I write like
before. But now, I am free at last. To do what I wish, to benefit the collective. I now know what true work is like, as well as true freedom!
Q: Comrade....What do you think of hive girls?
A:
Q: Do you have a message for your former collegues at the University?
A: No. Of course not.
Q: Is there anything else you would like to tell our readers?
A: Come to the hive! It is glorious!!! You will have immesnse freedom....In a beautiful workplace. You will get to experience things beyond your imagination, and see great glory being built from the ground up. Like all socities you mustwork, but this work is quite glorious. Come!!! Now!!!!
Many thanks to Comrade Tassadar!
============================
A Blessing from the Hive
-by Comrade Frankychan
"I woke from cryostasis and found myself in scattered wreckage of the Unity. I had no idea where I was save that I was
not on Earth nor anywhere safe. I spent my first few hours on Planet searching through the wreckage around me, trying to find anything useful...anything that would help me survive on this harsh world. The only thing I knew was that I was alone, no one was there to help me.
You will not believe me, but I saw in the distance a body of water...I did not know what it was. I had to trudge through a morass of what I now know is "the fungus". It was then did I experience the mindworms.
Imagine the worst image you can think of, then think of another and combine the two. This doesn't even compare to what I saw from the mindworms. I stumbled around and thrashed uncontrollably, hallucinating that I was being torn apart by wild dogs. I ran for what seemed like ages and I felt the hallucinations subside. It was then that I collapsed from exhaustion.
I woke up to find myself being dragged on the shoulders of a man....a great man. It was here that I learned about what happened to the failed Unity project and of the other's taking to the lifepods to save themselves. I learned that my savior was from a group of people that favored the pursuit of knowledge above all else. He told me of his dreams of something better, or something more nobler. He told me that he heard of people who valued the equality of man above all else, of a utopia on Planet. I asked if he was taking me there and he said yes. He told me of the paradise that awaited me and that I would be accepted in open arms. This man, my saviour, told me his name was Tassadar from the University.
It is here that I have found my utopia and my new purpose on Planet. Here is where I have found that I pledge to serve the Human Hive loyaly and without doubt. I thank Comrade Tassadar for giving me new life as a citizen of the benevolent Human Hive!
Long live the Human Hive!"
===================================
[/b]In other news :[/b][list][*]The Hive's population continues to soar. Everyone that joins the Hive gets a FREE govenment job! This is clearly attracting many people, or maybe its our free and relaxing socila atomosphere that does the trick, in either case the Hive is now twice as large as all the other factions combined and continues to grow at an exponential rate. We calculate all 'poly members will be part of the Hive within 2 weeks ![*]Commissioner of Foreign Relations: Comrade Haon takes on this important task for the benefit of the Hive people.[*]Minister of Industry & Development: Comrade Haon also is covering the role of this equally important ministry[*]Hive scientists record a strange jumping effect in time caused by having two moons that has led some people to belive that they are experiencing things that have already happened. This is clearly just Deja Vu. Those who objected were
brutally nerve stapled to death bythe Ministry of Fun sadly mistaken.[*]Hive scientists have also invented Lego[*]Hive artists and musicians have also been very busy, but someone else can tell you all about that...
Onwards Comrades - the Future of Humanity lies in Cooperation, Brotherhood and Industry - Continue to Work for the Glory of the Human Hive
Editorial Deputy to the PAC - Jamski
Good stuff.
I really want to vote on this option: Yes, because the Hive is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo great
