May 19, 2003, 23:31
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#1
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King
Local Time: 21:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: The 3rd best place to live in the USA.
Posts: 2,744
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Stoopid Ensign.
This afternoon the only two people in 32nd St Naval Station's were myself, and a GSM3 (E-4). Phone rings.
It was my roommate, a FC3 (E4), "Hey Bucher, they'll be an Ensign S0-and-so along shortly, play along.
"Uhm, okay."
Sure enough, an Boot Ensign walked in. Nothing on his chest except for the warm body ribbon everyong has.
"Can I help you sir?"
"Yes Seaman, I'm looking for a battery for a sound-powered Telephone."
Long silence.
GSM3 (E-4 with me) says "I beg your pardon Sir?
Ensign repeats. "A FC3 over at the Firecontrol School supply office sent me here."
Me: "Well sir, We'll all out of batteries for sound-powered phones. I think the Shiloh has some, they're at Pier one."
Ensign leaves for Shiloh.
45 minutes later....
"You think this is F--king funny? I'm going to write all of you up!"
"Go ahead sir, the Capitain will laugh at you."
He wrote ALL of us up, went to his CO, who asked why on Earth he thought a *sound-powered* telephone would have batteries.
Dumbass.
Our best and brightest at work.
__________________
With such viral bias, you're opinion is thus rendered useless. -Shrapnel12, on my "bias" against the SS.
And any man who may be asked in this century what he did to make his life worth while, I think can respond with a good deal of pride and satisfaction: "I served in the United States Navy!"
"Well, the truth is, Brian, we can't solve global warming because I ****ing changed light bulbs in my house. It's because of something collective." --Barack Obama
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May 19, 2003, 23:34
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#2
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Emperor
Local Time: 20:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,253
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It's not totally stupid. Gas-powered cars still need batteries.
__________________
"Yay Apoc!!!!!!!" - bipolarbear
"At least there were some thoughts went into Apocalypse." - Urban Ranger
"Apocalype was a great game." - DrSpike
"In Apoc, I had one soldier who lasted through the entire game... was pretty cool. I like apoc for that reason, the soldiers are a bit more 'personal'." - General Ludd
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May 19, 2003, 23:35
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#3
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Local Time: 20:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: ACK!! PPHHHHTTBBBTTTT!!!
Posts: 7,022
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Good to see somethings haven't changed!!!!
Wait until they send somebody for a bucket of steam.
Are you on a ship?
 ACK!
__________________
"I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that's extra scary to me. There's a large out of focus monster roaming the countryside. Look out, he's fuzzy, let's get out of here."
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May 19, 2003, 23:37
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#4
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King
Local Time: 21:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: The 3rd best place to live in the USA.
Posts: 2,744
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Apocalypse
It's not totally stupid. Gas-powered cars still need batteries.
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Yes, it is totally stupid.
__________________
With such viral bias, you're opinion is thus rendered useless. -Shrapnel12, on my "bias" against the SS.
And any man who may be asked in this century what he did to make his life worth while, I think can respond with a good deal of pride and satisfaction: "I served in the United States Navy!"
"Well, the truth is, Brian, we can't solve global warming because I ****ing changed light bulbs in my house. It's because of something collective." --Barack Obama
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May 19, 2003, 23:39
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#5
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Local Time: 20:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: ACK!! PPHHHHTTBBBTTTT!!!
Posts: 7,022
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Apocalypse
It's not totally stupid. Gas-powered cars still need batteries.
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Not to make gas they don't.
ACK!
__________________
"I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that's extra scary to me. There's a large out of focus monster roaming the countryside. Look out, he's fuzzy, let's get out of here."
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May 19, 2003, 23:52
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#6
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Local Time: 12:57
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Skanky Father
Posts: 16,530
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The battery was to warm up the telephone's handset. Obviously!
__________________
I'm building a wagon! On some other part of the internets, obviously (but not that other site).
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May 19, 2003, 23:52
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#7
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King
Local Time: 21:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: The 3rd best place to live in the USA.
Posts: 2,744
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I'm waiting for the Bunker Hill to come in.
__________________
With such viral bias, you're opinion is thus rendered useless. -Shrapnel12, on my "bias" against the SS.
And any man who may be asked in this century what he did to make his life worth while, I think can respond with a good deal of pride and satisfaction: "I served in the United States Navy!"
"Well, the truth is, Brian, we can't solve global warming because I ****ing changed light bulbs in my house. It's because of something collective." --Barack Obama
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May 19, 2003, 23:55
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#8
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King
Local Time: 21:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: The 3rd best place to live in the USA.
Posts: 2,744
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Skanky Burns
The battery was to warm up the telephone's handset. Obviously!
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A soundpowered Telephone is exactly what it sounds like. There is no need for batteries.
__________________
With such viral bias, you're opinion is thus rendered useless. -Shrapnel12, on my "bias" against the SS.
And any man who may be asked in this century what he did to make his life worth while, I think can respond with a good deal of pride and satisfaction: "I served in the United States Navy!"
"Well, the truth is, Brian, we can't solve global warming because I ****ing changed light bulbs in my house. It's because of something collective." --Barack Obama
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May 20, 2003, 00:50
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#9
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King
Local Time: 21:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Jul 1999
Location: of Meridian Hill, Washington D.C.
Posts: 1,383
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Hehehe.
I did something like that last summer to one of the kids who worked for me. He was a complete stoner, so I decided to give him some ****.
I had him go to each of the bars withing walking distance to ask for a "Bottle Stretcher". Needless to say, his parents called to file a complaint with the boss 
__________________
R.I.P George Alexandru 9/8/07
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May 20, 2003, 01:25
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#10
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Prince
Local Time: 09:57
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Hong Kong
Posts: 888
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Re: Stoopid Ensign.
I've heard and done variations of this joke (In the air force ya tell the guy to get a bucket of propwash) so I was thinking same-old, same-old until I read this:
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Lonestar
He wrote ALL of us up, went to his CO, who asked why on Earth he thought a *sound-powered* telephone would have batteries.
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That's friggen unbelieveable
He wrote all of you up!!!
What a twit.
__________________
Golfing since 67
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May 20, 2003, 03:35
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#11
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King
Local Time: 02:57
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: International crime fighting playboy
Posts: 1,063
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Did the Ensingn have his sense of humour removed along with his intelligence
__________________
Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.
Douglas Adams (Influential author)
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May 20, 2003, 06:43
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#12
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Emperor
Local Time: 20:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: mmmm sweet
Posts: 3,041
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You know what's really sad? If there are dumbasses like that in America's military, how dumb must other militaries be if we're the best. 
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May 20, 2003, 06:51
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#13
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King
Local Time: 02:57
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: International crime fighting playboy
Posts: 1,063
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Sava
You know what's really sad? If there are dumbasses like that in America's military, how dumb must other militaries be if we're the best.
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The US have the best equipment, personnel is another matter.
Anyway don't most Junior officers go through a phase of thinking they are really important until someone points out ther're not
__________________
Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.
Douglas Adams (Influential author)
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May 20, 2003, 08:04
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#14
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Prince
Local Time: 02:57
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: in perpetuity
Posts: 4,962
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Sava
You know what's really sad? If there are dumbasses like that in America's military, how dumb must other militaries be if we're the best.
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Soldiers don't fight with intelligence. American is the best because they're the stupidest.
__________________
Concrete, Abstract, or Squoingy?
"I don't believe in giving scripting languages because the only additional power they give users is the power to create bugs." - Mike Breitkreutz, Firaxis
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May 20, 2003, 08:46
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#15
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King
Local Time: 01:57
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: TN
Posts: 1,864
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In the submarine service we had another way of treating ensigns (who were not qualified in subs):
Captain: The reason I called you together this morning is to introduce Ensign Le Blank. I expected him to be treated with the full dignity and respect that the US Navy affords to a regular line officer and one of America's finest -- Throw him over the side!
Then we got to throw him over the side but we always took his hat so it wouldn't get wet. Then when he was struggling in the water we would throw it to him. This was always great fun.
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May 20, 2003, 17:19
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#16
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King
Local Time: 21:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: The 3rd best place to live in the USA.
Posts: 2,744
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Immortal Wombat
Soldiers don't fight with intelligence. American is the best because they're the stupidest.
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I'm in Naval Intelligence.
__________________
With such viral bias, you're opinion is thus rendered useless. -Shrapnel12, on my "bias" against the SS.
And any man who may be asked in this century what he did to make his life worth while, I think can respond with a good deal of pride and satisfaction: "I served in the United States Navy!"
"Well, the truth is, Brian, we can't solve global warming because I ****ing changed light bulbs in my house. It's because of something collective." --Barack Obama
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May 20, 2003, 17:23
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#17
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Local Time: 20:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: ACK!! PPHHHHTTBBBTTTT!!!
Posts: 7,022
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Lonestar
I'm in Naval Intelligence.
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Don't help him please.
ACK!
__________________
"I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that's extra scary to me. There's a large out of focus monster roaming the countryside. Look out, he's fuzzy, let's get out of here."
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May 20, 2003, 17:26
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#18
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King
Local Time: 21:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: The 3rd best place to live in the USA.
Posts: 2,744
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Tuberski
Don't help him please.
ACK!
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You're just jealous because I get to act all secretive but it turns out I'm just lounging around all day playing Diablo II.
__________________
With such viral bias, you're opinion is thus rendered useless. -Shrapnel12, on my "bias" against the SS.
And any man who may be asked in this century what he did to make his life worth while, I think can respond with a good deal of pride and satisfaction: "I served in the United States Navy!"
"Well, the truth is, Brian, we can't solve global warming because I ****ing changed light bulbs in my house. It's because of something collective." --Barack Obama
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May 20, 2003, 17:29
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#19
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Local Time: 20:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: ACK!! PPHHHHTTBBBTTTT!!!
Posts: 7,022
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Lonestar
You're just jealous because I get to act all secretive but it turns out I'm just lounging around all day playing Diablo II.
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I know very well what a crypto tech does.
Are you on a ship or a shore command?
ACK!
__________________
"I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that's extra scary to me. There's a large out of focus monster roaming the countryside. Look out, he's fuzzy, let's get out of here."
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May 20, 2003, 17:36
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#20
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King
Local Time: 21:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: The 3rd best place to live in the USA.
Posts: 2,744
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Like I said, I'm working at the "1st Lieutenant" (read: Pick up trash around base) while waiting for the Bunker Hill to pull in. I'm a CTMSN, although I'll be putting on a crow in a month.
__________________
With such viral bias, you're opinion is thus rendered useless. -Shrapnel12, on my "bias" against the SS.
And any man who may be asked in this century what he did to make his life worth while, I think can respond with a good deal of pride and satisfaction: "I served in the United States Navy!"
"Well, the truth is, Brian, we can't solve global warming because I ****ing changed light bulbs in my house. It's because of something collective." --Barack Obama
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May 20, 2003, 17:41
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#21
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Local Time: 20:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: ACK!! PPHHHHTTBBBTTTT!!!
Posts: 7,022
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Lonestar
Like I said, I'm working at the "1st Lieutenant" (read: Pick up trash around base) while waiting for the Bunker Hill to pull in. I'm a CTMSN, although I'll be putting on a crow in a month.
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Excellent, I never had to do the 1st. Lieutenant stuff luckily.
You will get to your ship and go Mess cranking shortly.
That is my prediction.
Wish I was there to "tack on" the crow when you get it.
ACK!
__________________
"I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that's extra scary to me. There's a large out of focus monster roaming the countryside. Look out, he's fuzzy, let's get out of here."
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May 20, 2003, 17:44
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#22
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King
Local Time: 21:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: The 3rd best place to live in the USA.
Posts: 2,744
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__________________
With such viral bias, you're opinion is thus rendered useless. -Shrapnel12, on my "bias" against the SS.
And any man who may be asked in this century what he did to make his life worth while, I think can respond with a good deal of pride and satisfaction: "I served in the United States Navy!"
"Well, the truth is, Brian, we can't solve global warming because I ****ing changed light bulbs in my house. It's because of something collective." --Barack Obama
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May 25, 2003, 12:07
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#23
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King
Local Time: 01:57
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Apolyton Paintball Champion
Posts: 1,226
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Ahh, to be a CT
Must be nicenot having to do any work. However, US Aircrewmen that fly 53's, now there a job. You try moving a hundred thousand punds of cargo to a carrier in one day.
At least I get to go home soon.
BTW, I am going to be an officer soon. STA-21 But I dont think anyone is going to get me with those ricks, such as:
Lightbulbs for the brightworks
10 Feet of Gig Line
Padeye Removers for flightline padeyes
Ignition Keys for the helicopters
Did you make third on the test? I missed second by .15 Stupid quotas
__________________
But I kick that ball, and I pray it goes straight,
If it does, then Coach says, "Good job number eight."
He doesn't even no my name is Andre Kristacovitchlalinski, Jr.
But that's the life I live...Lonesome Kicker
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May 25, 2003, 13:33
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#24
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Warlord
Local Time: 01:57
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Aberystwyth
Posts: 232
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But you will go and get a 'Long weight' when asked
__________________
"An Outside Context Problem was the sort of thing most civilisations encountered just once, and which they tended to encounter rather in the same way a sentence encountered a full stop" - Excession
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May 25, 2003, 13:46
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#25
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Emperor
Local Time: 21:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Fort LOLderdale, FL Communist Party of Apolyton
Posts: 9,091
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My buddy in the Air Farce used to tell me stories like that all the time. Apparently there were a bunch of extra shoes lying around in one room, and his duty commander told him to put them in a box and take them to the trash. As he was walking past the COs office, he asked what my friend was doing, so he said he was collecting shoes for orphans. So his CO gave him some shoes.
__________________
Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...
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May 25, 2003, 15:15
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#26
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King
Local Time: 21:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: The 3rd best place to live in the USA.
Posts: 2,744
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Midshipman
Ahh, to be a CT
Must be nicenot having to do any work. However, US Aircrewmen that fly 53's, now there a job. You try moving a hundred thousand punds of cargo to a carrier in one day.
At least I get to go home soon.
BTW, I am going to be an officer soon. STA-21 But I dont think anyone is going to get me with those ricks, such as:
Lightbulbs for the brightworks
10 Feet of Gig Line
Padeye Removers for flightline padeyes
Ignition Keys for the helicopters
Did you make third on the test? I missed second by .15 Stupid quotas
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Hush, you airdale.
CTM's get pushbutton 3rds after time in rate. 
__________________
With such viral bias, you're opinion is thus rendered useless. -Shrapnel12, on my "bias" against the SS.
And any man who may be asked in this century what he did to make his life worth while, I think can respond with a good deal of pride and satisfaction: "I served in the United States Navy!"
"Well, the truth is, Brian, we can't solve global warming because I ****ing changed light bulbs in my house. It's because of something collective." --Barack Obama
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May 26, 2003, 11:54
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#27
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Emperor
Local Time: 15:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Richmond, VA
Posts: 8,057
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Lonestar, we need a new key to lock in vacuum. Write a chit up for the Chop to sign.
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May 26, 2003, 16:58
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#28
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King
Local Time: 21:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: The 3rd best place to live in the USA.
Posts: 2,744
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Quote:
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Originally posted by GP
Lonestar, we need a new key to lock in vacuum. Write a chit up for the Chop to sign.
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Somehow I suspect you have an ulterior motive.
__________________
With such viral bias, you're opinion is thus rendered useless. -Shrapnel12, on my "bias" against the SS.
And any man who may be asked in this century what he did to make his life worth while, I think can respond with a good deal of pride and satisfaction: "I served in the United States Navy!"
"Well, the truth is, Brian, we can't solve global warming because I ****ing changed light bulbs in my house. It's because of something collective." --Barack Obama
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May 26, 2003, 17:13
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#29
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Local Time: 20:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: ACK!! PPHHHHTTBBBTTTT!!!
Posts: 7,022
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Quote:
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Originally posted by GP
Lonestar, we need a new key to lock in vacuum. Write a chit up for the Chop to sign.
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You will need an ID-10-T form for that......
ACK!
__________________
"I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that's extra scary to me. There's a large out of focus monster roaming the countryside. Look out, he's fuzzy, let's get out of here."
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May 26, 2003, 17:23
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#30
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King
Local Time: 21:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: The 3rd best place to live in the USA.
Posts: 2,744
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Tuberski
You will need an ID-10-T form for that......
ACK!
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Yeah, we had those in A School...
__________________
With such viral bias, you're opinion is thus rendered useless. -Shrapnel12, on my "bias" against the SS.
And any man who may be asked in this century what he did to make his life worth while, I think can respond with a good deal of pride and satisfaction: "I served in the United States Navy!"
"Well, the truth is, Brian, we can't solve global warming because I ****ing changed light bulbs in my house. It's because of something collective." --Barack Obama
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