Apolyton spellbook - Page 2

Urban Ranger · May 24, 2003, 23:57

Fezzidise - a combination of Troll, Patriotism, and Spam effects all rolled into one powerful spell. Casting this spell however will cause severe losses of prestige and charisma.

loinburger · May 25, 2003, 00:15

Donny's Dastardly Dicktification - Turns a thread into a circle-jerk, with much "lolling" and "rolleyesing" for all involved.

Emma's Eminent Emasculation - A given picture thread is hijacked by pictures that are inappropriate for that particular thread topic. Example: Pictures of men and/or fat chicks in a Babes Thread, or pictures of corpses in a War Machines thread. Often leads to much circle-jerking on the part of the offending parties, with many rolleyes always directed at the legitimate thread participants ("Clearly the legitimate participants of this thread are sexist since they are not posting pictures of fat chicks

").

Assclown's Arbitrary Aptitude - Poster claims expertise in a given field, despite having the equivalent knowledge of any given 12-year-old in said field (note: poster might actually be 12 years old). Generally involves much plaigarizing of Nietzsche, Rand, Marx, or any other oft-quoted philosopher/economist, with the false implication that said ass-clown actually understands said philosopher/economist.

Odin's Onerous One-Trick-Ponyism - Poster beats a horse to death, and continues beating said dead horse long into its slow descent into rigor mortis and eventual rot. Often involves turning the dead horse into a scapegoat for all of the poster's problems in life, from said poster's impotence ("It's France's fault that my genitals do not function") to said poster's general ineptitude ("It's America's fault that I'm a lazy bastard").

Urban Ranger · May 25, 2003, 00:26

Obfuscation - Poster responds to a post by cutting it into tiny bits and comment on each one, most often sentence by sentence. The net effect is the poster avoids the main thrust of the argument while picking on minor and often irrelevent issues.

Kuciwalker · May 25, 2003, 00:31

Quote:

Originally posted by alva
Revive - undo for the spell above

no, that's "bump"

loinburger · May 25, 2003, 00:39

Vlad's Voluminous Vomitorium - Poster infects a thread, a set of threads, or an entire forum with his/her insane and inane alcoholic babbling.

Jorje's Horrendous Happenstance - Poster's infectious spam and/or invective triggers a wave of thread closings, causing many semi-innocent threads to fall in its wake. Also known as a Sacrifice Spammage.

Urban Ranger · May 25, 2003, 00:45

Flamebait (often known as Troll) - a post written specifically to provoke Flames.

Inverse Icarus · May 25, 2003, 00:47

Quote:

Originally posted by loinburger

Assclown's Arbitrary Aptitude - Poster claims expertise in a given field, despite having the equivalent knowledge of any given 12-year-old in said field (note: poster might actually be 12 years old). Generally involves much plaigarizing of Nietzsche, Rand, Marx, or any other oft-quoted philosopher/economist, with the false implication that said ass-clown actually understands said philosopher/economist.

it's sh1t like this that made me vote loin for funniest polydude.

Inverse Icarus · May 25, 2003, 00:49

Gayification - Often cast on pefrectly good babe threads, completely destroying the thread's worth.

Urban Ranger · May 25, 2003, 00:50

Quote:

Originally posted by DrSpike
Prediction: Any poster can cast this spell, but only the skilled should try. If the prediction is correct experience points are gained, but if not an egg magically materialises on the caster's face.

Life expectancy of this thread, 2 more hours.

Spell backfired. DrSpike suffers embarassing loss of face.

Shi Huangdi · May 25, 2003, 01:03

Gate of Civnation

Opens a portal to the lower planes, causing any given thread to be flooded by infinite infernal creatures that it is impossible to attack them.

orange · May 25, 2003, 01:05

Pollcast
User creates a poll to accompany his thread

Votecast
User casts a vote on a poll

Secret Passage
Expert Users may cast this spell to unlock secret hidden forums. Note: this is not advised, as this often leads to the use of Ming's Magnificent Mansion.

Vacation Bait
User specifically does something illegal in the hopes of being banned when he is already planning to take a vacation from the site

Exodus
User claims to be leaving the site forever

See you soon
Cast in response to Exodus when the Exodus is presumed to be false.

DL Dance
A simple spell using a smile, indicating that a new user is infact a Double Login.

Lurk
This simple spell is used by shy members, and requires no energy to cast. The user is able to spy on others without being seen.

Shadow Lurk
It is much the same as the Lurk, except the user has not registered on the forum.

Lasso
This advanced technique is used to rope resident users into other forums, such as CGN, Counterglow, FFZ, etc.

Teleportation Link
A simple spell which warps other users to the far reaches of the internet to examine strange articles and hilarious photos.

Heartattack
This spell is cast by users who wish to have a laugh at the expense of others. By casting a specific Teleportation Link spell, the spellcaster transports their victim to an area of the internet which harbours frightening flash movie files. Use with caution.

Crybaby
This spell is used by forum whiners who do not get enough attention in real life and overcompensate through the internet. Advanced spellcasters avoid members who often cast this spell.

muxec · May 25, 2003, 05:14

Note:
DL spell is low level version of spell of reincarnation

DRoseDARs · May 25, 2003, 05:22

Double Post
Doubles the likelyhood of a cast spell's success.

DRoseDARs · May 25, 2003, 05:22

Double Post
Doubles the likelyhood of a cast spell's success.

DRoseDARs · May 25, 2003, 05:47

Drunken Post
mIm drujnkl b uta imm fellin FIIINNE!!!111!

Translation: It is a distress signal to notify the nearest allied high-level mage (aka moderators) that the distressee has been attacked with Vlad's Voluminous Vomitorium spell and is in desperate need of a healing spell. Often, such spells are found on the island of Mingapulco. High-level mages can use the Teleport spell to send the afflicted to the island for the necessary time to heal.

DrSpike · May 25, 2003, 09:17

Quote:

Originally posted by Urban Ranger

Spell backfired. DrSpike suffers embarassing loss of face.

Summon Haemorrhoidal problems: Used against people that tend to remember old posts and bring them up in order to be amusing.

Witty comeback: This spell is cast (often after a failed prediction or other spell) to minimise loss of experience and charisma.

Dauphin · May 25, 2003, 09:21

DrSpike, no comment on the meta-spam spell?

DrSpike · May 25, 2003, 09:35

meta-spam

An extremely difficult spell to cast, such that only experiences mages such as BC should attempt it. This spell retains the basic characteristic of spam , but conceals itself as a serious comment.

If the spell is cast by low level mages (or mages with low levels of charisma), it is often indistinguishable from spam and due to its nature far more likely to lead to Ming's magnificent mansion being cast on the poster.

DarthVeda · May 25, 2003, 09:38

Bounshin no Jutsu / Clone Tecnique: All rookies know this spell, creating a duplicate poster sometimes with a different name.

Kage Bounshin no Jutsu / Shadow Clone Technique: Same as above but the clone lurks.

Props to whoever gets the reference

Skanky Burns · May 25, 2003, 09:48

Banishment to the OT: Cast by a mod on a thread with high spam potential, this spell in fact encourages more spam. However, it removes the +1 bonus the thread would otherwise possess.

Urban Ranger · May 25, 2003, 10:58

Quote:

Originally posted by DrSpike
Summon Haemorrhoidal problems: Used against people that tend to remember old posts and bring them up in order to be amusing.

Cause distraction - used by people who are facing embarassments, such as old posts from aeons past, certain refutations of their arguments, and so forth.

Bloodymindedness - counters Cause distaction.

ad hominem - a form of Logical Fallacy, this spell is used for a variety of purposes, including distraction and flamebaiting.

Spiffor · May 25, 2003, 11:02

Quote:

Originally posted by DrSpike
meta-spam

An extremely difficult spell to cast, such that only experiences mages such as BC should attempt it. This spell retains the basic characteristic of spam , but conceals itself as a serious comment.

If the spell is cast by low level mages (or mages with low levels of charisma), it is often indistinguishable from spam and due to its nature far more likely to lead to Ming's magnificent mansion being cast on the poster.

Ah, so it is called Meta-Spam... I wondered what was the scholar name of this spell that I naturally use

DrSpike · May 25, 2003, 11:05

UR: Actually, since the thread was moved, I think the initial prediction was largely correct, and hence I have no need to cause distraction .

Meanwhile I still have the boost to experience from the cast witty comeback and you still need to visit the doctor to sort out those little problems you've been having.

GePap · May 25, 2003, 11:16

self-Exile: caster is sent out of forum by his/her own volition. General duration is variable, but has only a 25% chance of taking permanent hold.

Cut & paste: Magically transfers huge amounts of characters from other sources, increasing defense+3, as caster can now sit behind a huge shield of words to deflect attacks.

Troll rating: Spell with very low mana cost: aimed at reducing charisma of opponent -1. can backfire, if caster misjudges the denominator to be used, thus damaging their own charisma.

Urban Ranger · May 25, 2003, 11:42

Quote:

Originally posted by DrSpike
Meanwhile I still have the boost to experience from the cast witty comeback and you still need to visit the doctor to sort out those little problems you've been having.

Summon Hen - used to place a hen on the head of a poster whose Witty Comback spell has backfired.

Skanky Burns · May 25, 2003, 12:00

Popcorn: This spell increases the enjoyment of the caster by 2d6 when watching other posters battle in a thread.

GePap · May 25, 2003, 12:17

smiley: summons a sprite demon to increase the power of some spells.

rolleyes attack: summons the

demon to do -.5 charisma to enemiy. Need multiple ones for real damage.

Az · May 25, 2003, 12:55

NationStates Forum- A magical place that the old scrolls talk about. All participants quckly gain EXPERIENCE (+1) points, The strongest mages that cannot enter there, probably due to the strong auras colliding.

Spiffor · May 25, 2003, 13:09

Off-Topic Forum
The mythical arena where more or less experienced characters go to fight against each other, without any other reward than personal satisfaction after winning a fight.
It is a merciless and unforgiving place from which inexperienced characters should stay clear.

GePap · May 25, 2003, 13:21

actually Spiff:

Off topic Forum: A dangerous dimension that wary posters should avoid. Significant damage to "real life" points, and a strong set of terrible monsters inhabit this realm. Heavy use of Magic is needed, since brute strenght (Reason and facts) easily fail against most monsters there.

Democracy game forums: Dimension in which posters are forced to work together to defeat great enemies from beyond. The stress of common purpose on naturally fractious beings can lead to terrible internal battles. Not for the weak of heart.