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As a one post "micro" story it gets its point across well. I would like to have seen more development of the characters and a more expansive storyline. Much could come from what little you have written (but I understand the time constraints involved). All in all a truly capital idea!!
The moral struggle that Shaw must have undergone to become his own person would have been a great story in itself. Nt to mention the back door pressure his party would have applied.
Very enjoyable piece and very insightful.
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