Thread Tools
Old June 2, 2003, 23:48   #1
Nubclear
NationStatesCall to Power II Democracy GameInterSite Democracy Game: Apolyton TeamRise of Nations MultiplayerACDG The Human HiveNever Ending StoriesACDG The Free DronesACDG The Cybernetic ConsciousnessGalCiv Apolyton EmpireACDG3 SpartansC4DG Team Alpha CentauriansCiv4 SP Democracy GameDiplomacyAlpha Centauri PBEMCivilization IV PBEMAlpha Centauri Democracy GameACDG Peace
PolyCast Thread Necromancer
 
Nubclear's Avatar
 
Local Time: 02:53
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: We are all Asher now.
Posts: 1,437
The REAL reason why we can't find WoMD in Iraq.
Saw this on a Yahoo Message Board, thought it was amusing

Quote:
WMD WERE TAKEN TO HEAVEN BY JESUS!!


PRIOR TO THE WAR THERE WERE TONS OF CHEMICAL AND BIOLOGICAL WEAPONS!! BEFORE THE BATTLE BEGAN SOLDIERS WERE ASKED TO PRAY FOR OUR CHRISTIAN PRESIDENT AND JESUS ANSWERED THEIR PRAYERS!!
AS THE BATTLE BEGAN, JESUS SWEPT DOWN WITH THE HOLY GHOST ON HIS RIGHT AND THE SPIRIT OF THE BLESSED VIRGIN ON HIS LEFT. BEFORE THEY KNEW WHAT HIT THEM THE EVIL MUSLIMS' WMD WERE SWEPT TO HEAVEN!!
THAT IS WHY WE WILL NOT FIND THEM ANYMORE IN IRAQ!! JESUS DID NOT WANT THEM USED ON OUR BLESSED CHRISTIAN ARMY!!

IF YOU WANT TO SEE THE IRAQI WMD YOU MUST FIRST BECOME A TRUE CHRISTIAN AND THEN AFTER YOU FLY FLY FLY UP TO HEAVEN YOU WILL FIND THEM BEHIND THE PEARLY GATES!!!

PRAISE JESUS CHRIST!! PRAISE MR.BUSH!!!!
Nubclear is offline  
Old June 2, 2003, 23:49   #2
Tuberski
 
Tuberski's Avatar
 
Local Time: 21:53
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: ACK!! PPHHHHTTBBBTTTT!!!
Posts: 7,022
I thought that they used all of their WMD to destroy all of their WMD.....

ACK!
__________________
"I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that's extra scary to me. There's a large out of focus monster roaming the countryside. Look out, he's fuzzy, let's get out of here."
Tuberski is offline  
Old June 2, 2003, 23:51   #3
loinburger
Apolytoners Hall of Fame
Emperor
 
Local Time: 22:53
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Jul 1999
Posts: 5,605
There are WMD in heaven? Wutang!
__________________
"For just twenty cents a day, we'll moisten your dreams with man urine." -Space Ghost
loinburger is offline  
Old June 2, 2003, 23:52   #4
monkspider
Civilization IV: MultiplayerCivilization IV CreatorsGalCiv Apolyton Empire
King
 
monkspider's Avatar
 
Local Time: 21:53
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Wichita
Posts: 1,352


Truly classic.
__________________
http://monkspider.blogspot.com/
monkspider is offline  
Old June 2, 2003, 23:52   #5
monolith94
Mac
Emperor
 
monolith94's Avatar
 
Local Time: 22:53
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: New England
Posts: 3,572
Atheists go to hell and WMDs are taken to heaven? Nice priorities, god!
__________________
"mono has crazy flow and can rhyme words that shouldn't, like Eminem"
Drake Tungsten
"get contacts, get a haircut, get better clothes, and lose some weight"
Albert Speer
monolith94 is offline  
Old June 2, 2003, 23:53   #6
DinoDoc
Civilization II Democracy GameApolytoners Hall of Fame
Deity
 
DinoDoc's Avatar
 
Local Time: 21:53
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: Underwater no one can hear sharks scream
Posts: 11,096
Quote:
Originally posted by loinburger
There are WMD in heaven? Wutang!
Satan is in trouble.
DinoDoc is offline  
Old June 2, 2003, 23:53   #7
Asher
Apolytoners Hall of Fame
President of the OT
 
Asher's Avatar
 
Local Time: 20:53
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Nov 1999
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 40,843
Quote:
The REAL reason why we can't find WoMD in Iraq.
The Russians stole them.
__________________
"I'll never doubt you again when it comes to hockey, [Prince] Asher." - Guynemer
Asher is offline  
Old June 2, 2003, 23:59   #8
Inverse Icarus
Emperor
 
Inverse Icarus's Avatar
 
Local Time: 21:53
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: May 2001
Location: flying too low to the ground
Posts: 4,625
to quote the daily show "The government claimed that Iraq had many weapons of mass destruction, so many they couldn't have destroyed them all this quickly. UNLESS they had weapons of mass destruction"

i believe it was mo rocca that said it.
__________________
"I've lived too long with pain. I won't know who I am without it. We have to leave this place, I am almost happy here."
- Ender, from Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card
Inverse Icarus is offline  
Old June 3, 2003, 00:15   #9
Spiffor
Civilization III Democracy GamePtWDG LegolandApolytoners Hall of Fame
 
Spiffor's Avatar
 
Local Time: 04:53
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: jihadding against Danish Feta
Posts: 6,182
This means we must obviously attack heaven now
__________________
"I have been reading up on the universe and have come to the conclusion that the universe is a good thing." -- Dissident
"I never had the need to have a boner." -- Dissident
"I have never cut off my penis when I was upset over a girl." -- Dis
Spiffor is offline  
Old June 3, 2003, 00:20   #10
Lorizael
lifer
NationStates
Emperor
 
Local Time: 22:53
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Detached
Posts: 6,995
So Spiffor, would your real name, by any chance, be Lucifer?

But why would God take them to heaven? Why wouldn't he just poof them out of existence? Agh, the idiocy hurts my brain!
Lorizael is offline  
Old June 3, 2003, 00:22   #11
DinoDoc
Civilization II Democracy GameApolytoners Hall of Fame
Deity
 
DinoDoc's Avatar
 
Local Time: 21:53
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: Underwater no one can hear sharks scream
Posts: 11,096
Quote:
Originally posted by Lorizael
So Spiffor, would your real name, by any chance, be Lucifer?
Does that mean France is Hell?
DinoDoc is offline  
Old June 3, 2003, 00:25   #12
Lorizael
lifer
NationStates
Emperor
 
Local Time: 22:53
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Detached
Posts: 6,995


Great news for Dubbaya
Lorizael is offline  
Old June 3, 2003, 00:27   #13
Serb
Emperor
 
Serb's Avatar
 
Local Time: 09:53
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: of Siberia, Communist party of Apolyton
Posts: 3,345
Quote:
Originally posted by Asher

The Russians stole them.
And sold it to Canadians.
__________________
Nu chto, podbrosish druga svoego zaklyatogo na svoem gorbu k vorotam raya zvezndo-polosatogo?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNMZ3FvGx5c
Serb is offline  
Old June 3, 2003, 00:31   #14
Asher
Apolytoners Hall of Fame
President of the OT
 
Asher's Avatar
 
Local Time: 20:53
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Nov 1999
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 40,843
Where did the Canadians get enough money to buy them?? Jeez.
__________________
"I'll never doubt you again when it comes to hockey, [Prince] Asher." - Guynemer
Asher is offline  
Old June 3, 2003, 00:32   #15
DinoDoc
Civilization II Democracy GameApolytoners Hall of Fame
Deity
 
DinoDoc's Avatar
 
Local Time: 21:53
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: Underwater no one can hear sharks scream
Posts: 11,096
Quote:
Originally posted by Asher
Where did the Canadians get enough money to buy them?? Jeez.
They're making the army deal with the Sea Kings a while longer.

Last edited by DinoDoc; June 3, 2003 at 00:38.
DinoDoc is offline  
Old June 3, 2003, 00:36   #16
Serb
Emperor
 
Serb's Avatar
 
Local Time: 09:53
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: of Siberia, Communist party of Apolyton
Posts: 3,345
Quote:
Originally posted by Asher
Where did the Canadians get enough money to buy them?? Jeez.
Where did the Russians get enough James Bonds to stole them?
__________________
Nu chto, podbrosish druga svoego zaklyatogo na svoem gorbu k vorotam raya zvezndo-polosatogo?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNMZ3FvGx5c
Serb is offline  
Old June 3, 2003, 00:40   #17
Asher
Apolytoners Hall of Fame
President of the OT
 
Asher's Avatar
 
Local Time: 20:53
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Nov 1999
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 40,843
Quote:
Originally posted by Serb
Where did the Russians get enough James Bonds to stole them?
Enslaved Chechnians.
__________________
"I'll never doubt you again when it comes to hockey, [Prince] Asher." - Guynemer
Asher is offline  
Old June 3, 2003, 00:42   #18
The Mad Monk
Emperor
 
The Mad Monk's Avatar
 
Local Time: 21:53
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Flyover Country
Posts: 4,659
You're right. The current Russian intelligence services couldn't steal the formula for New Coke.
__________________
"We have tried spending money. We are spending more than we have ever spent before and it does not work...After eight years of this Administration, we have just as much unemployment as when we started... And an enormous debt to boot!" — Henry Morgenthau, Franklin Delano Roosevelt's Treasury secretary, 1941.
The Mad Monk is offline  
Old June 3, 2003, 01:05   #19
Urban Ranger
NationStatesApolyton Storywriters' GuildNever Ending Stories
Deity
 
Urban Ranger's Avatar
 
Local Time: 10:53
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: May 1999
Location: The City State of Noosphere, CPA special envoy
Posts: 14,606
Neither could CIA.
__________________
(\__/) 07/07/1937 - Never forget
(='.'=) "Claims demand evidence; extraordinary claims demand extraordinary evidence." -- Carl Sagan
(")_(") "Starting the fire from within."
Urban Ranger is offline  
Old June 3, 2003, 01:40   #20
The Mad Monk
Emperor
 
The Mad Monk's Avatar
 
Local Time: 21:53
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Flyover Country
Posts: 4,659
Could too!
__________________
"We have tried spending money. We are spending more than we have ever spent before and it does not work...After eight years of this Administration, we have just as much unemployment as when we started... And an enormous debt to boot!" — Henry Morgenthau, Franklin Delano Roosevelt's Treasury secretary, 1941.
The Mad Monk is offline  
Old June 3, 2003, 01:42   #21
Urban Ranger
NationStatesApolyton Storywriters' GuildNever Ending Stories
Deity
 
Urban Ranger's Avatar
 
Local Time: 10:53
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: May 1999
Location: The City State of Noosphere, CPA special envoy
Posts: 14,606
__________________
(\__/) 07/07/1937 - Never forget
(='.'=) "Claims demand evidence; extraordinary claims demand extraordinary evidence." -- Carl Sagan
(")_(") "Starting the fire from within."
Urban Ranger is offline  
Old June 3, 2003, 10:08   #22
Saint Marcus
Civilization II MultiplayerCivilization III Multiplayer
King
 
Saint Marcus's Avatar
 
Local Time: 03:53
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: Scio Me Nihil Scire
Posts: 2,532
let's build a ladder to heaven and find out...

:hmm:
__________________
Quod Me Nutrit Me Destruit
Saint Marcus is offline  
Old June 3, 2003, 10:10   #23
TheStinger
Civilization III Democracy Game
King
 
TheStinger's Avatar
 
Local Time: 03:53
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: International crime fighting playboy
Posts: 1,063
Jesus is just a hippy socialist and is clearly a threat to the US, he needs to be sent to Guantanamo for re-education
__________________
Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.
Douglas Adams (Influential author)
TheStinger is offline  
Old June 3, 2003, 11:44   #24
Sava
PolyCast Team
Emperor
 
Sava's Avatar
 
Local Time: 21:53
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: mmmm sweet
Posts: 3,041
Quote:
Originally posted by TheStinger
Jesus is just a hippy socialist and is clearly a threat to the US, he needs to be sent to Guantanamo for re-education
I agree
__________________
(\__/) "Sava is teh man" -Ecthy
(='.'=)
(")_(") bring me everyone
Sava is offline  
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 22:53.


Design by Vjacheslav Trushkin, color scheme by ColorizeIt!.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Apolyton Civilization Site | Copyright © The Apolyton Team