June 2, 2003, 23:48
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#1
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PolyCast Thread Necromancer
Local Time: 02:53
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: We are all Asher now.
Posts: 1,437
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The REAL reason why we can't find WoMD in Iraq.
Saw this on a Yahoo Message Board, thought it was amusing 
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WMD WERE TAKEN TO HEAVEN BY JESUS!!
PRIOR TO THE WAR THERE WERE TONS OF CHEMICAL AND BIOLOGICAL WEAPONS!! BEFORE THE BATTLE BEGAN SOLDIERS WERE ASKED TO PRAY FOR OUR CHRISTIAN PRESIDENT AND JESUS ANSWERED THEIR PRAYERS!!
AS THE BATTLE BEGAN, JESUS SWEPT DOWN WITH THE HOLY GHOST ON HIS RIGHT AND THE SPIRIT OF THE BLESSED VIRGIN ON HIS LEFT. BEFORE THEY KNEW WHAT HIT THEM THE EVIL MUSLIMS' WMD WERE SWEPT TO HEAVEN!!
THAT IS WHY WE WILL NOT FIND THEM ANYMORE IN IRAQ!! JESUS DID NOT WANT THEM USED ON OUR BLESSED CHRISTIAN ARMY!!
IF YOU WANT TO SEE THE IRAQI WMD YOU MUST FIRST BECOME A TRUE CHRISTIAN AND THEN AFTER YOU FLY FLY FLY UP TO HEAVEN YOU WILL FIND THEM BEHIND THE PEARLY GATES!!!
PRAISE JESUS CHRIST!! PRAISE MR.BUSH!!!!
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June 2, 2003, 23:49
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#2
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Local Time: 21:53
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: ACK!! PPHHHHTTBBBTTTT!!!
Posts: 7,022
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I thought that they used all of their WMD to destroy all of their WMD.....
 ACK!
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June 2, 2003, 23:51
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#3
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Emperor
Local Time: 22:53
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Posts: 5,605
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There are WMD in heaven? Wutang!
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"For just twenty cents a day, we'll moisten your dreams with man urine." -Space Ghost
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June 2, 2003, 23:52
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#4
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King
Local Time: 21:53
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Location: Wichita
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__________________
http://monkspider.blogspot.com/
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June 2, 2003, 23:52
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#5
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Emperor
Local Time: 22:53
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: New England
Posts: 3,572
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Atheists go to hell and WMDs are taken to heaven? Nice priorities, god!
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"get contacts, get a haircut, get better clothes, and lose some weight"
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June 2, 2003, 23:53
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#6
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Deity
Local Time: 21:53
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: Underwater no one can hear sharks scream
Posts: 11,096
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Quote:
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Originally posted by loinburger
There are WMD in heaven? Wutang!
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Satan is in trouble.
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June 2, 2003, 23:53
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#7
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President of the OT
Local Time: 20:53
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Nov 1999
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 40,843
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Quote:
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The REAL reason why we can't find WoMD in Iraq.
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The Russians stole them.
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"I'll never doubt you again when it comes to hockey, [Prince] Asher." - Guynemer
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June 2, 2003, 23:59
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#8
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Emperor
Local Time: 21:53
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Location: flying too low to the ground
Posts: 4,625
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to quote the daily show "The government claimed that Iraq had many weapons of mass destruction, so many they couldn't have destroyed them all this quickly. UNLESS they had weapons of mass destruction"
i believe it was mo rocca that said it.
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June 3, 2003, 00:15
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#9
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Local Time: 04:53
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Location: jihadding against Danish Feta
Posts: 6,182
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This means we must obviously attack heaven now
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"I have been reading up on the universe and have come to the conclusion that the universe is a good thing." -- Dissident
"I never had the need to have a boner." -- Dissident
"I have never cut off my penis when I was upset over a girl." -- Dis
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June 3, 2003, 00:20
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#10
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Emperor
Local Time: 22:53
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Location: Detached
Posts: 6,995
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So Spiffor, would your real name, by any chance, be Lucifer?
But why would God take them to heaven? Why wouldn't he just poof them out of existence? Agh, the idiocy hurts my brain!
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June 3, 2003, 00:22
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#11
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Deity
Local Time: 21:53
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Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: Underwater no one can hear sharks scream
Posts: 11,096
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Lorizael
So Spiffor, would your real name, by any chance, be Lucifer?
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Does that mean France is Hell? 
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June 3, 2003, 00:25
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#12
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Emperor
Local Time: 22:53
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Location: Detached
Posts: 6,995
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Great news for Dubbaya
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June 3, 2003, 00:27
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#13
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Emperor
Local Time: 09:53
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Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: of Siberia, Communist party of Apolyton
Posts: 3,345
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Asher
The Russians stole them.
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And sold it to Canadians.
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June 3, 2003, 00:31
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#14
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President of the OT
Local Time: 20:53
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Join Date: Nov 1999
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 40,843
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Where did the Canadians get enough money to buy them?? Jeez.
__________________
"I'll never doubt you again when it comes to hockey, [Prince] Asher." - Guynemer
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June 3, 2003, 00:32
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#15
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Deity
Local Time: 21:53
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Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: Underwater no one can hear sharks scream
Posts: 11,096
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Asher
Where did the Canadians get enough money to buy them?? Jeez.
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They're making the army deal with the Sea Kings a while longer.
Last edited by DinoDoc; June 3, 2003 at 00:38.
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June 3, 2003, 00:36
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#16
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Emperor
Local Time: 09:53
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: of Siberia, Communist party of Apolyton
Posts: 3,345
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Asher
Where did the Canadians get enough money to buy them?? Jeez.
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Where did the Russians get enough James Bonds to stole them?
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June 3, 2003, 00:40
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#17
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President of the OT
Local Time: 20:53
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Nov 1999
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 40,843
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Serb
Where did the Russians get enough James Bonds to stole them?
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Enslaved Chechnians.
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"I'll never doubt you again when it comes to hockey, [Prince] Asher." - Guynemer
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June 3, 2003, 00:42
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#18
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Emperor
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Location: Flyover Country
Posts: 4,659
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You're right. The current Russian intelligence services couldn't steal the formula for New Coke.
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"We have tried spending money. We are spending more than we have ever spent before and it does not work...After eight years of this Administration, we have just as much unemployment as when we started... And an enormous debt to boot!" — Henry Morgenthau, Franklin Delano Roosevelt's Treasury secretary, 1941.
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June 3, 2003, 01:05
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#19
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Deity
Local Time: 10:53
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Posts: 14,606
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Neither could CIA. 
__________________
(\__/) 07/07/1937 - Never forget
(='.'=) "Claims demand evidence; extraordinary claims demand extraordinary evidence." -- Carl Sagan
(")_(") "Starting the fire from within."
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June 3, 2003, 01:40
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#20
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Emperor
Local Time: 21:53
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Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Flyover Country
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Could too!
__________________
"We have tried spending money. We are spending more than we have ever spent before and it does not work...After eight years of this Administration, we have just as much unemployment as when we started... And an enormous debt to boot!" — Henry Morgenthau, Franklin Delano Roosevelt's Treasury secretary, 1941.
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June 3, 2003, 01:42
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#21
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Deity
Local Time: 10:53
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: May 1999
Location: The City State of Noosphere, CPA special envoy
Posts: 14,606
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__________________
(\__/) 07/07/1937 - Never forget
(='.'=) "Claims demand evidence; extraordinary claims demand extraordinary evidence." -- Carl Sagan
(")_(") "Starting the fire from within."
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June 3, 2003, 10:08
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#22
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King
Local Time: 03:53
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Location: Scio Me Nihil Scire
Posts: 2,532
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let's build a ladder to heaven and find out...
:hmm:
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Quod Me Nutrit Me Destruit
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June 3, 2003, 10:10
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#23
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King
Local Time: 03:53
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Posts: 1,063
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Jesus is just a hippy socialist and is clearly a threat to the US, he needs to be sent to Guantanamo for re-education
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June 3, 2003, 11:44
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#24
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Emperor
Local Time: 21:53
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Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: mmmm sweet
Posts: 3,041
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Quote:
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Originally posted by TheStinger
Jesus is just a hippy socialist and is clearly a threat to the US, he needs to be sent to Guantanamo for re-education
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I agree
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