We, the sensible people of the United States,...

SlowwHand · June 12, 2003, 16:17

"We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help
everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any
more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and
secure the blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and our
great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain
and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally
whiny, guilt ridden, delusional. . .. We hold these truths to be
self-evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of
Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights."

ARTICLE I:
You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any other
form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them,
but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II:
You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is
based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just
you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different
opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and probably always
will be ... and like the rest of us you need to simply deal with it.

ARTICLE III:
You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a
screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the
tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently
wealthy by telling them they didn't warn you not to stick the
screwdriver in your eye.

ARTICLE IV:
You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are
the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone
in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation
after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing
more than the creation of another generation of professional couch
potatoes.

ARTICLE V:
You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice,
but from the looks of public housing, we should be wary of public
health care or public anything.

ARTICLE VI:
You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you
kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be
surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric
chair (yes, capital punishment).

ARTICLE VII:
You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob,
cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't
be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a
place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV,
pool tables,weight rooms or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII:
You don't have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a
job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you
to take advantage of the opportunities of part time jobs, education
and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.

ARTICLE IX:
You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that
you have the right to PURSUE happiness-- which by the way, is a lot
easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws
created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights,

ARTICLE X:
This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are
from. We welcome you here. English is our language and like the one
you left behind, we also have a culture. Learn it or go back to the
country and the living conditions you were fleeing."

If you agree, share this with a friend. No, you don't have to, and
nothing tragic will befall you if you don't. I just think it is
about time common sense is allowed to flourish --- just call it "The
Age of Reason Revisited."

MRT144 · June 12, 2003, 16:19

what is this? the paul revere society?

Solly · June 12, 2003, 16:21

Oerdin · June 12, 2003, 16:23

Interesting...

St Leo · June 12, 2003, 16:24

More like Dickens Revisited.

mrmitchell · June 12, 2003, 16:25

to II, III, VII, and VIII. I find X disturbing.

Lefty Scaevola · June 12, 2003, 16:27

Quote:

Originally posted by mrmitchell
I find X disturbing.

concur

Oerdin · June 12, 2003, 16:28

You find the idea of a national language to be disturbing? So 90% of the world disturbs you?

MRT144 · June 12, 2003, 16:28

i disagree with the no right to free food bit. my life would be so much better if i had free food.

DinoDoc · June 12, 2003, 16:29

Quote:

Originally posted by mrmitchell
I find X disturbing.

Personally, I'd phrase it differently (ie cut out the last sentence).

Oerdin · June 12, 2003, 16:30

My life would be better if people wipped my tushy for free but that doesn't mean I have a right to a private tushy wiper.

Japher · June 12, 2003, 16:32

Congrats Sloww, that is the smartest thing I have ever seen you post......ever

Velociryx · June 12, 2003, 16:36

Seen it. A classic!

-=Vel=-

MRT144 · June 12, 2003, 16:38

dude, i eat one meal a day, if that...free food would increase my quality of life beyond measurable amounts.

Imran Siddiqui · June 12, 2003, 16:38

Good stuff

. I may not agree with all of it, but definetly fun

.

Carver · June 12, 2003, 16:41

Quote:

Originally posted by Oerdin
You find the idea of a national language to be disturbing? So 90% of the world disturbs you?

Many countries have multiple national languages.

Like the original post said, you don't have the right to not be offended; if someone speaking a different language offends you... too bad.

Carver · June 12, 2003, 16:42

And, of course, the US has no official language, thus people may use any language they like.

Japher · June 12, 2003, 16:44

Quote:

Like the original post said, you don't have the right to not be offended; if someone speaking a different language offends you... too bad.

Yeah, that would all be nice and all, but I know that in the field I work in if we allowed people to speak any language we wanted everyone would go broke, nothing would get done, and people would most likely die... too bad.

SlowwHand · June 12, 2003, 16:51

I don't know why anyone finds "X" disturbing.

If I go to live in France, which I wouldn't, I would expect I'd need to learn French.
Maybe not, since English is the most commonly used language in the world; in which case, why the HELL would anyone find "X" disturbing?

D' Artagnan · June 12, 2003, 16:59

Why learn another language if ppl understand it perfectly (ie Spanish in Miami, southern california, etc) ?

Heck, even some ads are in Spanish in NY

Spiffor · June 12, 2003, 17:02

Quote:

Originally posted by SlowwHand
If I go to live in France, which I wouldn't, I would expect I'd need to learn French.

For your everyday interactions, you could do with English (you'd have to end with your Texan accent though, or nobody would understand you) as many Frenchmen can understand and articulate some English.
For administrations, you'd be screwed. French is the only language allowed in administrations, which is quite specific to here. We are pretty tight-asses when it comes to language.

Whaleboy · June 12, 2003, 17:08

Wow slow, for the most part, I actually like it (the non-deliberately contentious parts)... you been reading my stuff havent you

!

Oerdin · June 12, 2003, 17:08

Quote:

Originally posted by Carver
Many countries have multiple national languages.

Like the original post said, you don't have the right to not be offended; if someone speaking a different language offends you... too bad.

Carver, do you ever read other people's posts before you respond? Because if you did you would find that I never said anything offends me. On the contrary another poster said he was disturbed by the idea of a national language so maybe you should point your lecture at him.

Japher · June 12, 2003, 17:11

I think everyone should speak gibberish... That way no one will understand what the other person is saying we would then have an excellent excuse why we can't cope as a society...

Lancer · June 12, 2003, 17:13

English is the only civilized language. I hope to learn it one day.

GePap · June 12, 2003, 17:30

While I disagree with several of them, nicely written (save perhaps X). Is the "old" Sloww returning?

Nubclear · June 12, 2003, 17:30

Quote:

Originally posted by Lancer
English is the only civilized language. I hope to learn it one day.

Yes.

And I have to say.....Chinese is a very barbaric language.

100,000+ PICTURES?! Ugh.

Velociryx · June 12, 2003, 17:43

I hate you Tass!

-=Vel=-

EDIT: Beat you to it that time!

ajbera · June 12, 2003, 17:59

Sloww. I think I'll send this to my liberal pals.

I even agree with X, though I would rephrase it:

X: English is the dominant language of this country, and you should make every effort to learn it to facilitate your ability to live here more easily. You have the right not to learn English, but you do not have the right to demand the rest of the English-speaking nation understand you, hire you even if you can't communicate with anyone, or take the time and effort to comprehend what it is you're trying to say.

Communication is the cornerstone of civilization; the clearer and more direct the communication, the better the function of civilization.

MrFun · June 12, 2003, 18:06

I found it humurous, even though I don't agree with all of it.

There's nothing like good ol' fashioned red-neck, Johnny Reb humour every now and then.