I suck at flirting. - Page 2

Solly · June 18, 2003, 16:02

This is like the blind leading the blind

monolith94 · June 18, 2003, 16:17

I love flirting, it's such a fine art! I attribute my ease with speaking to the opposite sex to many years of drama class in which I was the only boy.

Jon Miller · June 18, 2003, 16:19

I am terrible at flirting also

Jon Miller

alva · June 18, 2003, 16:21

Quote:

If they say no, don't immediately ask one of their friends out though. You have to give it some time to "realise you asked the wrong friend out". Otherwise it just looks like Plan A failed so you are moving to Plan B.

Sounds like someone with experience in the this matter.

Provost Harrison · June 18, 2003, 16:25

Oh I don't find flirting particularly difficult (I can do it despite what Stew will try and tell you), but it is just capitalising on the situation which can prove to be tricky

Provost Harrison · June 18, 2003, 16:26

Stew couldn't flirt in a red light district with wads of money, so just ignore him

rah · June 18, 2003, 16:26

Yep, ming's right. Unfortunately most men don't figure it out until they're married and it's not quite as necessary.

But once the pressure is off, they find out how easy it is and kick themselves.

I wish I could go back and advise my younger self.

Solly · June 18, 2003, 16:28

You see it too mechanical and mathematical Rich. You don't "capitalise on the situation" at all.

Can't get your tongue round the words "what's your number we'll go for a drink some time"?

Provost Harrison · June 18, 2003, 16:31

Does not compute

Gatekeeper · June 18, 2003, 16:32

I have to admit that I'm attracted to one of the photographers at work. She has a fiery spirit and attitude that draws me to her. Now I just have to work up the courage to ask for her hand in marriage, er, a date.

Gatekeeper

alva · June 18, 2003, 16:33

Quote:

Yep, ming's right. Unfortunately most men don't figure it out until they're married and it's not quite as necessary.

But once the pressure is off, they find out how easy it is and kick themselves.

I wish I could go back and advise my younger self.

You could even take this further, the moment you're seeing someone, you seem to attrack women from all over the place.

A bit like buses, first you wait 30m for one, then there's 7 at once

Solly · June 18, 2003, 16:34

The best way to getting with a female (long term) is actually having "the date" there and then. No planning, no "three day rule" bollocks, no pre-match nerves, just you two sitting down and having lunch because there's no spare tables anywhere, or maybe because there is no-one else in the canteen. Everyone likes company.

And Rah touched on it, a lot of you in this thread seem to think it's some big serious thing. It's not. It's just a game, for at least the first four times you go out. Play. See other people, don't make her your priority until she makes you hers...

Az · June 18, 2003, 16:35

I am great at talking to the opposite sex. But those girls that I know, I can't date because either they're taken or I am too good a friend to date them. In the dating area, I am the mix between an intellectual whore and the elephant man.

Japher · June 18, 2003, 16:59

I am good at picking up women, though my wife hates it... It is probably my sarcastic charm, stunning good lucks, and total man hunkiness that attracts them...

However, I have a knack at becoming the center of attention, I have a commanding presence, what can I say. I make 'em laugh to pick 'em up, then I slowly reel them in until they are hanging on to every word I say, then I make my move.

I never really go into it expecting to make a date (and since I got married rarely do

) I start a conversation to be their friend, or just to have someone to talk to, or to meet someone new. I just chat, no obligations, no worries, no intent... Yet, when it seems that they are starting to get into me, then I will make a move. I get rejected a lot too, but most of the time they take me up on my offers...

My advice, don't flirt, don't pick up on anyone, don't try to be suave... They can see right through this, and if they aren't interested nothing you can do will change that. Yet, if you get to know them and they may start to like you, and that could lead to the sack, uh, I mean a date... If not, then at least you have a new friend...

Ben Kenobi · June 18, 2003, 17:04

Quote:

didn't want a rejection to ruin the mood between us, or among the group of friends.

Anyone I'm going to ask out will be a good friend of mine, since I like to know them well before asking.

Therefore, I have something to lose by rejection, a friendship. So before asking I always ask myself if the risk is worth the reward.

Secondly, if they say no, and you are still friends, it's quite awkward afterwards.

My problem is not the flirting, but trying to get past the 'let's just be friends' stage.

Lorizael · June 18, 2003, 17:16

If the friendship is strong enough, the awkwardness isn't there. Both people involved will understand what happened and realize that the friendship is more important than whatever failed romantic happenings there were, and all of that can be put in the past.

Dis · June 19, 2003, 02:32

you can't be as bad as me.

I don't even try flirting. I just look for women to flirt with me, if they do, I ask them out. I never flirt with women.

Ishtar · June 19, 2003, 08:16

Somewhere 'round here is a Thread devoted to flirting.
It is more than a year + old though, so it may not be accessible any longer.

Spiffor · June 19, 2003, 09:04

Quote:

Originally posted by Azazel
I am great at talking to the opposite sex. But those girls that I know, I can't date because either they're taken or I am too good a friend to date them. In the dating area, I am the mix between an intellectual whore and the elephant man.

I'm in a similar situation, but it is extremely easy to ask someone out at this point. Just make sure you're not a "friend" enough to have landed on the desolate Friend's Ladder.

Az · June 19, 2003, 09:42

You believe in the lader theory too? Dope!

besides, I don't really want to date any of the girls I am friends with. 'cept one which is taken.

Spiffor · June 19, 2003, 09:56

Quote:

Originally posted by Azazel
You believe in the lader theory too? Dope!

Not in everything, but it has some merit for sure

Quote:

besides, I don't really want to date any of the girls I am friends with. 'cept one which is taken.

Actually, it is much easier to me to flirt with friends' or relatives' girlfriends than with free girls. Maybe because it is obvious to everyone it cannot get serious...

Ecthy · June 19, 2003, 10:01

what ladder theory?

anyway, I'm neither good at flirting nor in any way handsome

just a piece of rotten sputum

MikeH · June 19, 2003, 10:04

Oh, tip for those of you in Wales. My Welsh housemate says you can't fail if you say (in a welsh accent) "Nice shoes luv, fancy a fvck?"

Adagio · June 19, 2003, 10:16

I don't know if I suck at flirting, since I've never really tried it...

Why? Simple reason:
The kind of girl I'm looking for, are pretty seldom, or at least hard to find... And the worst problem: I don't know where to find any of those kind of girls where I live... Sure, there's lots of girls at the bars, but girls who frequently goes to bars, are not my type...

rah · June 19, 2003, 10:27

It doesn't matter if they're your type. Everyone needs to practice. And practicing with girls that aren't your type takes the pressure off. An attempt to flirt does not commit you to marriage and kids. And maybe if a girl your type sees you flirting with someone else, you may seem more desirable.

Practice practice practice. So you don't choke when it counts.

monolith94 · June 19, 2003, 10:31

And if you ever worry that you might not find a girl with low enough standards to like you, just look at Ming and Rah... even they were able to get married!!!

Az · June 19, 2003, 10:34

Oh, and I am very afraid of relationships. This practice, rah, is awful. I would never think of marrying a girl which isn't perfect.

"Azazel Sez: It's better to aim high and miss than aim low and hit"

MikeH · June 19, 2003, 10:40

Quote:

Originally posted by rah
Practice practice practice. So you don't choke when it counts.

Ah, just like oral sex then.

Az · June 19, 2003, 10:42

9.88/10

Ecthy · June 19, 2003, 10:43

is sputum the word?