The Hitchhikers Guide to the Gathering Storm

[Hot Mustard]

Great pieces! I look forward to more.

[Theseus]

Dear God... I can't read this, I'm at work. ROTFLMAO.....

[Theseus]

OK, I calmed down and got through it.



What made me laugh out loud (among others) was the bit about the opera.

Great stuff vulture, just great. Makes me proud to be Stormian.

ride:

[Arrian]

Excellent. I am appeased. You may now proceed to other cities.

Great job, Vulture, keep 'em coming! At this rate, we're gonna have to build some more cities...

-Arrian

[Master Zen]

WOW!! This stuff is excellent! Now our Riders will know what sites to visit while they're...um... ehem... forget that

[alva]

No need for the face, we treat our prisoners well....

[vulture]

Blizzard
A small town at the northern end of the desert, Blizzard is accessible via galley from Hurricane, or overland via one of the desert caravans. Once there, you'll take one look around and say "Why in the name of sanity did we come here?" It is not a pretty town. In all honestly, it is little more than a stop off point for groups heading north in to the wilderness to try and carve out new towns in the jungles. As such, the town has a fair population, but most of it is transitory. There is only one place to eat in town, and that is the Ozymandias cafe, run by the rather unnerving Mr. Eldritch and Mr. Cohen. Accomodation in the town is typically found by renting a whole house. Families tend to arrive, stay for a week or two, and then move on north, so a good business has grown up building houses and renting them out for short periods of time.

The one feature of interest in the town is the excavation of a pre-historic settlement very near the town. The ancient settlement appears to have been quite small, probably just a village, but looks likely to be the oldest known site in Stormia. Not much remains to be seen of the houses. The only easily visible feature is the trunk of a statue, facing south west out over the desert. The whole site only has about five minutes worth of interest for someone without a strong interest in ancient history, and so for most people doesn't justify the journey here.

Tornado
By the time you reach Tornado, you are in the heart of the cooler, more fertile southern plains and forests of the Storm. The town itself is quiet, though quite large. The local speciality is a kind of beer brewed from wheat, which is very pleasant to drink while sitting on a rooftop cafe overlooking the ocean. Drinking seems to be the main pastime in Tornado, partly because the beer is so nice, and partly because there are so many good places to be drinking it. It's the kind of place where you realise that you haven't done anything apart from sit around for the last three days, but know you won't be able to muster up the momentum to move for at least another day.

If you do find the energy to stir yourself, head south to the Oak Palace. It's not really a palace of course, just a rather grand manion built almost entirely out of locally felled oak wood. A tour of the interior with its portrait gallery will occupy a morning, and with good weather the gardens will keep you busy for most of the afternoon. There is a small maze in the gardens, although it is almost impossible to get lost in it.

One local custom of note occurs in the autumn. To celebrate the harvest, a large barrel is soaked in oil and set alight. The it is dragged through the streets of the town with a chain, while a procession of people in brightly coloured robes dance behind it. Townspeople scatter corn from the rooftops in the path of the barrl, whose route through the town eventually takes it to the harbour, where is it dumped in the water. And everyone goes back to the serious business of drinking again.

[Beta]

As I have some - er - free time coming up - can you please book me into a nice little motel in Tornado for the next 5 years.

Chilled mug please.

(Vulture - again.. )

[vulture]

Cyclone
Cyclone is famous, first and foremost, for the legendary War Academy, co-founded by the Storm's third best general Sun Tzu (son of the aforementioned Lung Tzu) and visionary senator Ramses. It might be surprising that the academy's founder was the third best general of his generation, but the first two generals were busy fighting a war at the time and couldn't be spared, and besides, Sun Tzu had done a better job of taking notes on their tactics. The academy isn't actually in Cyclone - it was built some distance away on the edge of the forests to give easier access to large wilderness areas to be used in training exercises. It is strictly off limits to non-military personnel, so don't bother trying to get in.

Cyclone itself features the public face of the academy, which you are allowed to visit. Copies of Sun Tzu's book "The Art of War" can be purchased, and you can view the displays in the building showing the history of the academy, as well as a military history of the Storm. There is also a recruitment office, in case you get so inspired by all this that you want to join the army immediately.

Accommodation in Cyclone is reasonable, although it may be in short supply in the spring, which is when families of students in the academy come to town to see the graduation ceremonies, which are held in the town's largest square. There is a military exhibition after the ceremony, which doesn't involve formation marching so much as demonstrations of real battlefield skills. If you can find somewhere to stay in town, this is worth seeing.

Cyclone is second only to Eye of the Storm in terms of religious significance. The ancient Temple of the Stone Egg is in the heart of the city, and contains a huge egg made of stone - not surprisingly, given the name. Quite why the temple was built here is a mystery, since the egg was found over one hundred miles west, and dragged to this spot, where the temple was erected. There has recently been some controversy over this artifact though, with claims that it is merely an odd-shaped stone rather than a fossilised egg, with some extreme groups claiming that it isn't even natural and was carved by early Stormians. Another fringe group claims that one day the egg will open and a great monkey will jump out and fly off on a cloud. Since the number of competing ideas seems to be increasing with time, it can make some of the public forums a source of lively theological debate, which occasionally turns vigorous, and guards are called in to restore the peace. This can be a good source of entertainment to certain types of people.

Typhoon
The trip from Cyclone to Typhoon is a pleasant journey through some densely populated countryside. The soft terrain is filled with small villages, some which could even be considered as minor towns. Hiring carriages to take you between towns is easy, though not cheap, and it is a pleasure to take your time heading south east to Typhoon.

Typhoon is the Storm's biggest fishing port by some distance, not only because of the size of the harbour, but because not far offshore are the breeding grounds of the curiously named Estonian Goatmonger. No surprise that much of the local diet revolves around fish, and the freshly caught Goatmonger is delicious, particularly when served with "green sauce". This sauce is a recipe known only to a few restaurants which produce and sell it, and the exact contents are a big secret. Whatever it is, it is moderately spiced and goes extremely well with the Goatmonger steaks.

The other main industry of the town is leather making, and you are welcome to visit the tanning pits, although the smell there has to be seen to be believed (and it can be seen). More prudently, you can stay away from the tanning pits and find the shops in the upper town that sell the finished leather products. The waterproof travelling cloaks are a good buy.

The area around Typhoon was once the territory of a separate tribe that was enveloped by the Storm, and to some extent they have kept their own customs and language. Their version of Stormian is a strong dialect that non-native speakers will probably have trouble understanding. There are no official interpreters, but most of the population can speak "proper" Stormian if the have to, so you'll be able to get by. If you want to listed to any of the storytellers in the markets you'll need to talk some local into translating for you, which most of them seem willing to do for a small fee. The storytellers are an important part of the town, and are a source of great pride to Typhoon. A few decades ago, two brothers, worried that their dialect was slowly disappearing, made an effort to collect and write down as many of their traditional tales as they could, which were bound up into a single volume. This book, "Sly Mian and the Wolves, and other tales" became immensely popular around the Storm, much to the delight of the Typhoon populace. The market storytellers can typically recite the entire book from memory, which is quite a feat considering the number of stories. Many of them claim of have additional stories that the brothers missed, although the general opinion is that most of them were made up later. They're still good stories though.

[Arrian]

-Arrian

[mrmitchell]

[Beta]

That was close. He almost stumbled upon the fact that the egg is actually a form of Trojan egg, and at a set time, it will crack open and Immortals will swarm over the land... er ... get away from me ...let me tell the truuuuuuuth...

*Beta al-sahhaf is pulled away from the microphone by Voxian guards. "Who let him in here anyways?" cries the news director.

(Vulture )

[Meshelic]

This is excellent quality work Vulture, great job!

[Hot Mustard]

Originally posted by Beta
That was close. He almost stumbled upon the fact that the egg is actually a form of Trojan egg, and at a set time, it will crack open and Immortals will swarm over the land... er ... get away from me ...let me tell the truuuuuuuth...

*Beta al-sahhaf is pulled away from the microphone by Voxian guards. "Who let him in here anyways?" cries the news director.

(Vulture )

[Master Zen]

Well, before GoW begins its own guide to our magestic cities, here's a pic of The Dreadlands, and what happens to people who steal loaves of bread...

[Theseus]

The guy in the middle... I'm pretty sure I see a chicken pecking at his hand...

[vulture, you are awesome...]