I was born in Utah. Actually, in Salt Lake City, and boy oh boy, did it ever suck.
Yeah, alcohol IS allowed in Utah, but you can only by it from your friendly-neighbourhood hypocrit.
So what's a hematocritic?
"A hypocritic (n) is one who values their own 'opinion' to the exclusion of evidence to the contrary as to what he can see, hear, taste, touch, smell, or believe." -Stephen King
"I hate shoveling the walk. Why don't we have any kids to do it?" -danny's stepmom
"The Spider is from Jerusalem. The Cat is in the cradle. The Rooster is in New Yawk. The Doctor is now over and out." -yelena_rossini
"Home is where the heart is, which is technically wherever the **** you are at the time, especially if you have a heart of GOLD." -Emperor Joshua Norton II
"Au, you stole my gold watch. Want some sodium? Na.
Ag, I hate silver. Antimony is a SOb. Mercury is Hard to get." -Todd
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