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Old July 7, 2003, 00:01   #1
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Haiku Nation
this promises to be uber skrewed up

Nation of Haiku
Land so beautiful and clean
The Army is Strong

Soldiers are ready
Staring into unknown fate
Death is greatest fear

Haiku has hero
He fights with strength of thousands
His name is Fu Ren

Fu Ren has strong men
He'll lead them into battle
Enemy blood spills

Evil ones invade!
Soldiers fight for family
Good names not tarnished

Valiant Fighting
swords clash and make loud battle
Fu Ren kills thousands

Arrows fly in air
Fu Ren has pain in shoulder
Fu Ren is arrowed!

Enemy thinks Win
Fu Ren does not stop fighting
Haiku fights onward!

Enemy has fled
Fu Ren's men celebrating
Fu Ren Falls to ground

Death has taken Fu
He is now fighting demons
for Haiku Nation!!

short sweet, and not good to eat IMHO!!
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Old July 7, 2003, 23:49   #2
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I have to reply
Haiku can be maddening
I will say thumbs up



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Old July 8, 2003, 11:52   #3
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Very good our first haiku and 6th poem


although the last few stanzas are somewhat weak... they don't seem to flow or read quite correctly- but the beginning is perfect!

I'm nominating this.
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Old July 8, 2003, 13:08   #4
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w00p w00p
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Old July 8, 2003, 13:10   #5
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Dude this is poems. Good ones, but is it a story?
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Old July 8, 2003, 16:13   #6
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poems are tales

ever read the bvhata-gita or the Icelandic Sagas? or the Illiad
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Old July 8, 2003, 18:25   #7
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Old July 8, 2003, 18:36   #8
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I would say poetry fits in just fine with the civ stories here. Themes of war, battle, struggle, ancient cities and civilization, military posturing, and nationalism are abundant throughout history.


"Sir Gawain and the Green Knight" by the Pearl poet

Beowulf

"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Ozymandias - Percy Bysshe Shelley

"The English shafts in volleys hailed,
In headlong charge their horse assailed;"
The Battle - Sir Walter Scott

Any numbers of poems by Walt Whitman, such as: "By the Bivouac's Fitful Flame," "Cavalry Crossing a Ford," "An Army Corps on the March," "Vigil Strange I Kept on the Field One Night."

John Milton's "When the Assault Was Intended to the City," where he writes of how Alexander the Great spared the house of the poet Pindar during the destruction of Thebes.

"Rule, Britannia, rule the waves
Britons never will be slaves."
Rule, Britannia! - James Thomson

"The Destruction of Sennacherib" by Lord Byron, a satanza from which I am going to filch for an upcoming story. (Cited, of course.)

"Epitaphs of the War" by Kipling.
"First Snow in Alsace" by Richard Wilbur


And now…”Haiku Nation!”
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Old July 8, 2003, 19:17   #9
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Beautiful.
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Old July 19, 2003, 21:33   #10
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Great poem, turtle man. I agree with DC a bit though, the beggining is much stronger than the ending. My favourite stanza is probably the fourth, with the second one close behind.

BTW, your right, it was quite good to eat
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Old July 22, 2003, 00:52   #11
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You should head over to the Civfanatics All Haiku Thread.

Shameless plug I know
Please visit the thread anyway
And post your haikus

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Last edited by PresidentMike; July 22, 2003 at 01:14.
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Old July 22, 2003, 19:55   #12
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It's cute but its not really Haiku...

Haiku poems should stand alone and include a kigo - a word describing the season that it is set.

The beaver in wood
Awaits the old ditch digger
Pelts to keep us warm

Perhaps we should call it Civku and be done with it.

Sam
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