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View Poll Results: Should Telemarketers be tortured and killed?
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Yes - with extreme prejudice!
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20 |
76.92% |
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No (insert stupid free speech argument here)
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15.38% |
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I keep picking up this banana, but I can't hear anything.
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7.69% |
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July 23, 2003, 18:27
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#31
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Freeciv Developer
Local Time: 08:10
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
Posts: 2,580
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July 23, 2003, 18:30
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#32
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Emperor
Local Time: 06:10
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Mu Mu Land
Posts: 6,570
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They can be fun if your really bored and drunk... The reverse prank calls!
"We are calling from your credit card company to let you know about a special offer...bla, bla, life insurance, bla, bla"
"Life insurance? Really? What's that?"
"You don't know what life insurance is?"
"Not really."
"In case you die or are injured you or your family receive money"
"Wow, can I have the money before I die?"
"No, you have to die, and then your family will get the money"
"Why? I'm the one who died, besides they all hate me, and I think at least one of them is trying to kill me."
"Really, one of them is trying to kill you?"
"Yeah, it's ok though, I'm ready, got my winchester all loaded, the minute I see her she's dead. Hey, can I take out some this insurance stuff on her?"
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July 23, 2003, 18:39
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#33
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Emperor
Local Time: 15:10
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Wal supports the CPA
Posts: 3,948
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There's some good telemarketer pranks on the net. One is to pretend you are taking the phone into the lavatory to speak while you take a dump.
__________________
Only feebs vote.
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July 23, 2003, 18:47
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#34
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Emperor
Local Time: 06:10
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Mu Mu Land
Posts: 6,570
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I actually do that, and it's not a prank... It's better if you got wiz... naturally louder (sometimes), and the a quick flush...
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July 23, 2003, 19:01
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#35
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Local Time: 02:10
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: on the corner of Peachtree and Peachtree
Posts: 30,698
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Quote:
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"Are you a cop"
"Yes"
"Oh I hate you pigs!"
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*Japher mysteriously dissapears two days later*
__________________
“I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
- John 13:34-35 (NRSV)
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July 23, 2003, 19:04
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#36
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Deity
Local Time: 02:10
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: May 2001
Location: 138% of your RDA of Irony
Posts: 18,577
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Even better, pretend you're jerking off...
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July 23, 2003, 19:15
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#37
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King
Local Time: 18:10
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 2,709
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 this is a great thread!!
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July 23, 2003, 19:18
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#38
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Emperor
Local Time: 06:10
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Mu Mu Land
Posts: 6,570
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Quote:
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Even better, pretend you're jerking off...
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why pretend?
Tell the telemarketers about that article on how it improves your health...
---
or be more subtle and just respond to everything the telemarketer says with "oh ya" (very suductivly)....
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July 23, 2003, 19:21
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#39
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Emperor
Local Time: 23:10
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: hippieland, CA
Posts: 3,781
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Telemarketers aren't so much to blame as your #&*@ neighbor who buys the stuff, does making it a profitable business.
__________________
Visit First Cultural Industries
There are reasons why I believe mankind should live in cities and let nature reclaim all the villages with the exception of a few we keep on display as horrific reminders of rural life.-Starchild
Meat eating and the dominance and force projected over animals that is acompanies it is a gateway or parallel to other prejudiced beliefs such as classism, misogyny, and even racism. -General Ludd
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July 23, 2003, 19:23
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#40
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Emperor
Local Time: 06:10
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Mu Mu Land
Posts: 6,570
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good point
I'm going to go home and call some telemarketers 
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July 23, 2003, 19:23
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#41
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Deity
Local Time: 02:10
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 21,822
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That's like saying it isn't drug dealers' fault that they sell drugs. THEY made the decision to...
__________________
[Obama] is either a troll or has no ****ing clue how government works - GePap
Later amendments to the Constitution don't supersede earlier amendments - GePap
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July 23, 2003, 19:26
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#42
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Emperor
Local Time: 20:10
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Richmond, VA
Posts: 8,057
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Japher
They can be fun if your really bored and drunk... The reverse prank calls!
"We are calling from your credit card company to let you know about a special offer...bla, bla, life insurance, bla, bla"
"Life insurance? Really? What's that?"
"You don't know what life insurance is?"
"Not really."
"In case you die or are injured you or your family receive money"
"Wow, can I have the money before I die?"
"No, you have to die, and then your family will get the money"
"Why? I'm the one who died, besides they all hate me, and I think at least one of them is trying to kill me."
"Really, one of them is trying to kill you?"
"Yeah, it's ok though, I'm ready, got my winchester all loaded, the minute I see her she's dead. Hey, can I take out some this insurance stuff on her?"
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This assumes you think they are worth the time. My old roomie used to mess with telemarketers, but I thought he was a loser for not having something better to do.
(Don't make a comeback on Poly usage here...  )
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July 23, 2003, 21:02
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#43
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King
Local Time: 02:10
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: The 3rd best place to live in the USA.
Posts: 2,744
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Agathon
Here's a suggestion. All those people who defend telemarketers can have all the calls I get.
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I never get telemarketer calls.
__________________
With such viral bias, you're opinion is thus rendered useless. -Shrapnel12, on my "bias" against the SS.
And any man who may be asked in this century what he did to make his life worth while, I think can respond with a good deal of pride and satisfaction: "I served in the United States Navy!"
"Well, the truth is, Brian, we can't solve global warming because I ****ing changed light bulbs in my house. It's because of something collective." --Barack Obama
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July 23, 2003, 21:17
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#44
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King
Local Time: 00:10
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 2,394
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Ooh, you can have mine
__________________
meet the new boss, same as the old boss
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July 23, 2003, 21:22
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#45
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Warlord
Local Time: 00:10
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Boulder, CO
Posts: 281
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My step-dad used to feign interest for the entire spiel, and then say no and hang up at the end.
__________________
"Beauty is not in the face...Beauty is a light in the heart." - Kahlil Gibran
"The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves" - Victor Hugo
"It is noble to be good; it is still nobler to teach others to be good -- and less trouble." - Mark Twain
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July 23, 2003, 21:25
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#46
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Emperor
Local Time: 06:10
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Minion of the Dominion
Posts: 4,607
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Kirnwaffen
My step-dad used to feign interest for the entire spiel, and then say no and hang up at the end.
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That's what I do. I let them ramble on for 5 minutes while I ignore them, then say I'm not interested when they finally stop. I can tell it really annoys them, one guy sounded like he was about to go postal when he gave me the manditory thank you and said good bye.
__________________
Rethink Refuse Reduce Reuse
Do It Ourselves
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July 23, 2003, 21:27
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#47
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Emperor
Local Time: 06:10
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Minion of the Dominion
Posts: 4,607
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Another thing I do is just tell them that the people who live here aren't here, and to call back the next day. They call back the next day and I tell them the same thing. This can go on for months sometimes, and it's usually the same person making the call.
__________________
Rethink Refuse Reduce Reuse
Do It Ourselves
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July 23, 2003, 21:55
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#48
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Local Time: 01:10
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: ACK!! PPHHHHTTBBBTTTT!!!
Posts: 7,022
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Quote:
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Originally posted by mrmitchell
"Hi, this is Todd's carpet cleaning service...we just wanted to tell you about our great new deal"
"Oh man, can you get blood out of the carpet?"
"Er, yes..."
"Oh, thank God, good, cause I got blood everywhere, man...I mean, it's all over the carpets, the drapes, the couch, everything..."
"Well, is there anything I can do?"
"No, no, no--wait, can you come over right now?"
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That sounds like Thom Mabe to me: Revenge on the Telemarketers!
 ACK!
__________________
"I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that's extra scary to me. There's a large out of focus monster roaming the countryside. Look out, he's fuzzy, let's get out of here."
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July 23, 2003, 22:17
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#49
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Emperor
Local Time: 15:10
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Wal supports the CPA
Posts: 3,948
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Just say, "No she isn't here, she was the victim of a terrible slasher murder".
__________________
Only feebs vote.
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July 23, 2003, 22:43
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#50
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King
Local Time: 00:10
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 2,394
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Tuber: Yes. Sorry for not mentioning the source. 
hm.
"Hello, this is Jane from Great Deal Incorporated, we just wanted to call you about the great hotel rates we had on rooms in Orlando, Florida, merely miles away from Disneyland."
(get an accomplice)
Friend: *sob* Oh don't hurt me *sob
You: I'LL KILL YOU *****!
Tele: Er, could I call at a better time?
You: No....how great were the rates?
Tele: Well, for single rooms it's --
You: Excuse me. Could you hold on for a minute?
You: *****! (At this point in the conversation, you should throw something very loud across the room.)
Tele: Are you sure I can't call back later?
You: No. Just hold for a second. (Right now, you can either throw the phone across the room, yell random profanities, or fake a gunshot sound. The conversation will end quickly either way. )
__________________
meet the new boss, same as the old boss
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July 23, 2003, 23:48
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#51
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Emperor
Local Time: 20:10
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Richmond, VA
Posts: 8,057
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farkers/
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July 23, 2003, 23:50
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#52
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Emperor
Local Time: 22:10
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: Batallón de San Patricio, United States of America
Posts: 3,696
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word
__________________
"Let the People know the facts and the country will be saved." Abraham Lincoln
Mis Novias
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July 24, 2003, 02:09
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#53
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Prince
Local Time: 23:10
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: of the purple hand
Posts: 585
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Why stop with telemarketers? Why not get rid of the people who make commercials as well?
__________________
American by birth, smarter than the average tropical fruit by the grace of Me. -me
I try not to break the rules but merely to test their elasticity. -- Bill Veeck | Don't listed to the Linux Satanist, people. - St. Leo | If patching security holes was the top priority of any of us(no matter the OS), we'd do nothing else. - Me, in a tired and accidental attempt to draw fire from all three sides.
Posted with Mozilla Firebird running under Sawfish on a Slackware Linux install.:p
XGalaga.
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July 24, 2003, 03:13
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#54
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King
Local Time: 23:10
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: Boulder, Colorado, United Snakes of America
Posts: 1,417
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I keep my girlfriend amused by doing several of the things mentioned above. I'm fond of setting the phone down and going back to whatever I was doing, letting them ramble on into oblivion. If I want to keep the line open, I hang up immediately, or leave them with a snappy answer and hang up. When the telemarketers for the police union / sheriff's association call I give them special attention. They are almost uniformly ex-cons, and try to scare you into contributing. I let them go through their spiel, pretending to be scared so that they think I'm convinced that they are actually the police. Then when they stop for air I ask them how long they've been out of prison. They always hang up immediately.
Oh, and one more thing for Red Jon. Hooking up wires to scrotums for the Hussein brothers is only a job as well.
__________________
He's got the Midas touch.
But he touched it too much!
Hey Goldmember, Hey Goldmember!
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July 24, 2003, 03:40
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#55
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CTP1/2 GODDESS
Local Time: 06:10
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: 10069
Posts: 198
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Japher: Thanks! Now I have something to do on Saturday nights!
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