Boris, GePap, Tassadar. Front and Center !

SlowwHand · July 25, 2003, 17:27

A Texan, a Russian, and a New Yorker went into a restaurant in London, and the waiter said,
"Excuse me, but if you order the steak you might not get one, as there is a shortage."

The Texan asked, "What's a shortage ?"
The Russian asked, "What's a steak ?"
The New Yorker asked, "What's excuse me ?"

MrFun · July 25, 2003, 17:29

And if there was an Iowan . . . .

I'll just have a couple of porkchops then.

Imran Siddiqui · July 25, 2003, 17:41

Slow:

MrFun · July 25, 2003, 17:42

Quote:

Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui

Since I'm not funny, you must have been laughing at SlowwHand's initial post -- not mine.

Nubclear · July 25, 2003, 17:43

Quote:

Originally posted by SlowwHand
A Texan, a Russian, and a New Yorker went into a restaurant in London, and the waiter said,
"Excuse me, but if you order the steak you might not get one, as there is a shortage."

The Texan asked, "What's a shortage ?"
The Russian asked, "What's a steak ?"
The New Yorker asked, "What's excuse me ?"

lol

GePap · July 25, 2003, 17:43

Hahaha

Oh, that is just so darn tootin' cute..have a cookie little boy.

Imran Siddiqui · July 25, 2003, 17:43

Exactly

.

SlowwHand · July 25, 2003, 17:44

I'll find a good joke about Iowa.
I saw this and thought, "Oh, MAN!"

MrFun · July 25, 2003, 17:44

Quote:

Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui
Exactly

.

Can I help it that you're a hopeless case?

Imran Siddiqui · July 25, 2003, 17:44

Says the one born without a sense of humor?

MrFun · July 25, 2003, 17:45

Quote:

Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui
Says the one born without a sense of humor?

who?

where?

SlowwHand · July 25, 2003, 17:48

Well, I'm glad to see ALL knew it's a danged joke.

Oerdin · July 25, 2003, 17:49

I thought it was funny.

chequita guevara · July 25, 2003, 18:29

It wasn't that funny. Merely cute.

SlowwHand · July 25, 2003, 18:39

Yeah, but commies have no discernable sense of humor.

Pekka · July 25, 2003, 18:43

A Russian couple was walking down the street in Moscow when the man, Boris, was hit in the head by a drop of water. Boris turns to his wife, Natasha, and says "I think it is raining." Natasha replies that it was just snow. "No" Boris yells, "It was rain." And so it continues.
Boris and Natasha see a comrade named Rudolf coming their way. "Let's ask Rudolf what he thinks." So Boris and Natasha explain their situation to Rudolf asking whether he thought it was rain or snow.
Rudolf exclaims, in certainty, that it was rain, not snow. "It's rain not snow," he said, and walked away.
But Natasha is stubborn! She turns to Boris and says that she is still positive it was snow. And then Boris says to Natasha..
Excuse me but.. Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear!

SlowwHand · July 25, 2003, 18:45

Jon Miller · July 25, 2003, 18:46

thats just bad

Jon Miller

Pekka · July 25, 2003, 18:47

It stinks so bad it's funny, Jon!
You like this better?

Two men were sitting in a train carriage travelling through Norway to Oslo. They found themselves sharing a carriage with a Teddy Boy - D.A., brothel creepers, drain pipe trousers, the works. One of the men introduced himself and asked for the Teddy Boy's name. To which he replied: "It es Olf but vot does it fakin have to do vit you?" A little taken aback with the curt response, the two men decided not pursue the conversation any further.
As time went by the Teddy Boy got more and more restless until he exclaims "**** itt, I am fed up vit you boring bastards, I am going to ze buffet car to get pissed"
Moments later he busts into the carriage holding a half empty can of lager, shouting and swearing about the quality of the beer.
"Oh dear" said one of the men, "I wonder what his problem is?"
"Well its clearly obvious" said the other man, "RUDE OLF THE TED LOATHES TRAIN BEER"

trickey · July 25, 2003, 18:53

I dont get it..

mrmitchell · July 25, 2003, 19:36

A lawyer from up North came down to Arkansas to have a nice quality hunting vacation. He shot a duck on the last day, but it landed in a farmer's field. The farmer came out and picked up the duck and was about to take it in when the lawyer ran up to him and said "I shot that duck! You can't have it!" The farmer said, "It landed here. I didn't see you shoot it. It's my duck." The lawyer threatened to sue him for everything he was worth. The farmer thought about it for a minute, and then told the lawyer his proposition. "Ya see, down here in Arkansas we have a deal called the Three Kick Rule. You get to kick each other three times and whoever's left gets the duck."

The lawyer looked at the old farmer, who he thought was in his sixties, and said "Deal. I'm sure you'll need the help you can get, so you can go first." The farmer quickly planted his steel-toed boot into the lawyer's crotch. Then, he kicked the lawyer in the stomach and he was down on the ground. Finally, he gave the lawyer a good smack in the jaw.

Even though he was aching and bleeding all over, the lawyer still managed to get up. He looked at the farmer. "Now, it's my turn," he said.

The farmer thought for a minute, then decided, "No, you can keep the duck."

Boris Godunov · July 25, 2003, 19:39

Hmm, that's not how I heard the joke:

A Texan, a Russian, and a New Yorker went into a restaurant in London, and the waiter said,
"Excuse me, but if you order the steak you might not get one, as there is a shortage."

Texan: BLAM!!!

*joke ends in carnage*

trickey · July 25, 2003, 19:42

TCO · July 25, 2003, 19:53

Quote:

Originally posted by Pekka
A Russian couple was walking down the street in Moscow when the man, Boris, was hit in the head by a drop of water. Boris turns to his wife, Natasha, and says "I think it is raining." Natasha replies that it was just snow. "No" Boris yells, "It was rain." And so it continues.
Boris and Natasha see a comrade named Rudolf coming their way. "Let's ask Rudolf what he thinks." So Boris and Natasha explain their situation to Rudolf asking whether he thought it was rain or snow.
Rudolf exclaims, in certainty, that it was rain, not snow. "It's rain not snow," he said, and walked away.
But Natasha is stubborn! She turns to Boris and says that she is still positive it was snow. And then Boris says to Natasha..
Excuse me but.. Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear!

That is kickin'

MrFun · July 25, 2003, 20:04

Quote:

Originally posted by SlowwHand
Yeah, but commies have no discernable sense of humor.

I am NOT a commie.

Oh wait -- that was for Che.

SlowwHand · July 25, 2003, 20:07

A) Boris, your sense of humor, well, it's kind of demented.
B) MrFun, are you a commie now ?

molly bloom · July 25, 2003, 21:45

Quote:

Originally posted by Pekka
It stinks so bad it's funny, Jon!
You like this better?

Two men were sitting in a train carriage travelling through Norway to Oslo. They found themselves sharing a carriage with a Teddy Boy - D.A., brothel creepers, drain pipe trousers, the works.

People across the Atlantic may not know what a Teddy Boy is/was, alas. I thought it jolly amusing however.

For the benefit of those not in the know- a Teddy Boy was 1950s' youth culture's response (in Great Britain at least) to rock'n'roll, Bill Haley and the Comets, etc.

They wore Crombie overcoats (with velvet collars) drainpipe trousers or jeans, had the duck's arse hairstyle with thoroughly greased quiff, the suede shoes with crepe heels known as brothel creepers, and generally caused their post-WWII parents the kind of apoplexy experienced by the parents of punks in the Seventies.

They became renowned for tearing up seats in cinemas (if possible during 'Rock Around the Clock' and 'Blackboard Jungle') and hanging out in Soho milk bars. There were still some antiquated ones around in the Seventies ready to rumble with the punks. Being Great Britain, no one was shot....

TCO · July 25, 2003, 22:21

what is a milk bar

KrazyHorse · July 25, 2003, 22:26

Watch A Clockwork Orange

TCO · July 25, 2003, 22:32

I read the book.