July 30, 2003, 04:24
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#1
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Emperor
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Dead Islamic terrorists receive raisins and Juicyfruit, not virgins
http://www.msnbc.com/news/940974.asp?cp1=1
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ARGUING THAT TODAY’S version of the Qur’an has been mistranscribed from the original text, scholar Christoph Luxenberg says that what are described as “houris” with “swelling breasts” refer to nothing more than “white raisins” and “juicy fruits.”
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July 30, 2003, 04:31
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#2
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Emperor
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Ohhh boy... 
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The cake is NOT a lie. It's so delicious and moist.
The Weighted Companion Cube is cheating on you, that slut.
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July 30, 2003, 05:24
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#3
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Emperor
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Location: CLOWNS WIT DA DOWNS 4 LIFE YO!
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Makes me think of them going into Paradise and Allah being there and offering them raisins and fruits and going "HA HA!"
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"Spirit merges with matter to sanctify the universe. Matter transcends to return to spirit. The interchangeability of matter and spirit means the starlit magic of the outermost life of our universe becomes the soul-light magic of the innermost life of our self." - Dennis Kucinich, candidate for the U. S. presidency
"That’s the future of the Democratic Party: providing Republicans with a number of cute (but not that bright) comfort women." - Adam Yoshida, Canada's gift to the world
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July 30, 2003, 05:39
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#4
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Emperor
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On the other hand, that the text mentiones the shewing-gum brand "Juicy Fruit" is evidence that the book in fact is the words of Allah. Who else could have predicted the existance of "Juicy Fruit"!?! 
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"All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident." - Schopenhauer
In GAIS we trust!
Last edited by Kropotkin; July 30, 2003 at 07:27.
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July 30, 2003, 07:17
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#5
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King
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Right now there's a bunch of pissed off terrorists in heaven plotting to highjack an angel...
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What?
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July 30, 2003, 07:51
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#6
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Emperor
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Old news
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"I realise I hold the key to freedom,
I cannot let my life be ruled by threads" The Web Frogs
Middle East!
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July 30, 2003, 07:53
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#7
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Emperor
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For obvious reasons, anyone that takes anyting in a religious scripture literary is fouled,´but at least these ones get fruits and that's not that bad.
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"All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident." - Schopenhauer
In GAIS we trust!
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July 30, 2003, 08:00
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#8
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Emperor
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They are healthy.
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"I realise I hold the key to freedom,
I cannot let my life be ruled by threads" The Web Frogs
Middle East!
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July 30, 2003, 08:09
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#9
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King
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But dead.
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What?
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July 30, 2003, 08:37
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#10
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Local Time: 17:37
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I hope they enjoy their fruity bits.
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I'm building a wagon! On some other part of the internets, obviously (but not that other site).
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July 30, 2003, 08:37
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#11
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Emperor
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Yeah that's right, why shouldn't they get something unhealthy instead. It's not like it will kill them to get some fat.
__________________
"All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident." - Schopenhauer
In GAIS we trust!
Last edited by Kropotkin; July 30, 2003 at 08:50.
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July 30, 2003, 08:47
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#12
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Emperor
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Well, assasines were supposed to make their followers believe they were temporarly in heaven by giving them hashish and women and all this stuff...
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"I realise I hold the key to freedom,
I cannot let my life be ruled by threads" The Web Frogs
Middle East!
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July 30, 2003, 08:50
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#13
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King
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yeah, they drugged them, they would wake up in a palace or garden, surrounded by beautiful women and food and stuff (they thought they were in heaven), they were told that they just had to do one thing and they could spend all eternity there.
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"The Christian way has not been tried and found wanting, it has been found to be hard and left untried" - GK Chesterton.
"The most obvious predicition about the future is that it will be mostly like the past" - Alain de Botton
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July 30, 2003, 09:59
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#14
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King
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__________________
meet the new boss, same as the old boss
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July 30, 2003, 10:06
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#15
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Yes, this is old news, and true. After all 'white raisins' are a sign of heaven and are referenced in Judaic texts talking about heaven as well.
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“I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
- John 13:34-35 (NRSV)
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July 30, 2003, 10:07
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#16
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Prince
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"I work in IT so I'd be buggered without a computer" - Words of wisdom from Provost Harrison
"You can be wrong AND jewish" - Wiglaf :love:
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July 30, 2003, 10:34
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#17
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Emperor
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actually, my first thought was that heaven for these guys, rather than being a upscale and nice "tearoom", was actually more like a kindergarten instead.
nila cookies and juice boxes, anyone?
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B♭3
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July 30, 2003, 10:47
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#18
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Emperor
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Fruit is sure better than virigins. 'Virgins' have a tendency to give you STD:s.
__________________
"All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident." - Schopenhauer
In GAIS we trust!
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July 30, 2003, 10:54
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#19
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Emperor
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What?
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"I realise I hold the key to freedom,
I cannot let my life be ruled by threads" The Web Frogs
Middle East!
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July 30, 2003, 11:07
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#20
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King
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The whole thing about virgins existing in Heaven is that they're in Heaven so they can't lie. (Or they can't transmit, at the least.)
If virgins in Heaven give STDs, life has lost its purpose.
__________________
meet the new boss, same as the old boss
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July 31, 2003, 19:32
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#21
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King
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Kropotkin
Fruit is sure better than virigins. 'Virgins' have a tendency to give you STD:s.
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Speaking from personal experience?
__________________
With such viral bias, you're opinion is thus rendered useless. -Shrapnel12, on my "bias" against the SS.
And any man who may be asked in this century what he did to make his life worth while, I think can respond with a good deal of pride and satisfaction: "I served in the United States Navy!"
"Well, the truth is, Brian, we can't solve global warming because I ****ing changed light bulbs in my house. It's because of something collective." --Barack Obama
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August 1, 2003, 01:19
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#22
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Emperor
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There's no sex in heaven. What would you do with a virgin?
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August 1, 2003, 02:40
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#23
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Deity
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virgins give poor head. there I said it. It needed to be said.
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Focus, discipline
Barack Obama- the antichrist
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August 1, 2003, 03:17
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#24
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CTP1/2 GODDESS
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Sounds like he11 to me - an impotent dude, surrounded by 72 nubile virgins, and no Viagra.
Sorry, Heff - hate to break it to ya, but you're stuck here now!
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