iFeminists.com

blackice · July 30, 2003, 22:19

Quote:

iFeminists.com
July 29, 2003

Inside A 'Batterers Program' for 'Abused' Women
Women Violating Women

by Nev Moore

When Hillary Clinton says it takes a "village" to raise a child, does this mean that snooping, nosey, prying and gossipy people will be surrounding all of us -- snoopers who are employees of the state with the power of police?

This woman wonders. I was forced by DSS to attend a "support group" for abused women, against my will. Or else I would never see my daughter again. That is what they told me.
I realized that I never heard a facilitator encourage a woman to heal and move on with her life. They encouraged women to stay stuck in the victim mentality. I realized that, if women move on, they would no longer be clients. Each woman is worth many dollars to DSS and to Independence House. The more clients -- the more funding dollars.

Every week I received calls from our DSS supervisor, Larry Vadeboncoeur, chastising me for my "attitude" at the support group. He told me in a meeting at DSS that I would not get my child back until my attitude changed and I "processed my issues" and "did my stuff." What "stuff" was never identified, even after repeated requests from me for clarification. After all, I don't have a degree in psychology, so I don't understand these professional terms, like "client needs to do her stuff."

When I told Mr. Vadeboncoeur what went on in the meetings and that they were terribly depressing and distasteful, he snapped, "That is not what goes on at Independence House!" I didn't "share much" in the meetings because I felt nothing in common with the group. I said that I was forced to be there against my will and they needed to remove the word "Independence" from their title and stop handing out mugs that said: "Independence: the Freedom to make your own choices."

When I couldn't stand the breast-beating victim dance any more, I would offer small pieces of input. My feeling is that, if the guy was that bad, then good riddance to bad rubbish. By sitting in these groups forever, rehashing abuse, real or perceived, a woman keeps the wounds open and allows the man to still have power over her.

At that time I was unaware that all the considerable funding to "combat domestic violence" was channeled through DSS. To the tune of $13 million a year. The DSS worker brought a "domestic violence expert," Sue Ash, to my home a couple of times. (What are the qualifications to be a "domestic violence expert"?) I reiterated my story, over and over. I felt like I was being subjected to an inquisition, and was down to reciting name, rank, and serial number. They insisted that I meet them for coffee at a diner. [Maybe I'd crack.] The expert also met Tommy and me together. The social worker dropped me and my daughter off at our house. I believed at this point that I had done everything I could possibly do to make DSS happy, without knowing why I should have to do so. My children had never been abused or neglected by any stretch of the imagination, so why was my life being micro-managed by strangers?

Harassment Starts Again

But it didn't stop them from taking our children. The fact that I had applied for a restraining order helped them. That's why they wanted it.

*Nev Moore is President of Justice for Families, a group she founded to help parents who have problems with the DSS. They can be reached at (508) 362-6921 or P.O. Box 141, Barnstable, MA 02630. This article appeared on Shattered Men.

ifeminists.com is edited by Wendy McElroy; it is made possible by support from The Independent Institute and members like you.

The article

We've come a long way baby.....

Chemical Ollie · July 30, 2003, 22:29

Is this about Pamela Andersson???

mrmitchell · July 30, 2003, 22:58

feminazis should be tied to a stake and burnt as witches

females

feminazis

monkspider · July 30, 2003, 23:06

amen mr. mitch.

Nubclear · July 30, 2003, 23:08

I once had a feminazi tell me that "Because ALL wars are started by males, all males should be shot and then world peace would ensue.".

I laughed

Boris Godunov · July 30, 2003, 23:10

I searched the entire article for what Hillary Clinton had to do with it, and found no link whatsoever. So why did the author feel the need for the unwarranted political swipe?

Oerdin · July 30, 2003, 23:21

I've just found a way to save a bunch of green on the national budget. I'd axe these social welfare programs like no tomorrow. I mean all they are is welfare for social workers and they don't ever produce any meaningful results.

Tuberski · July 30, 2003, 23:31

Quote:

Originally posted by Boris Godunov
I searched the entire article for what Hillary Clinton had to do with it, and found no link whatsoever. So why did the author feel the need for the unwarranted political swipe?

She is used to make a point, it was her quote after all.

ACK!

Odin · July 30, 2003, 23:47

Quote:

Originally posted by Oerdin
I've just found a way to save a bunch of green on the national budget. I'd axe these social welfare programs like no tomorrow. I mean all they are is welfare for social workers and they don't ever produce any meaningful results.

Same here, unfortunatelly, as with cutting subsidies, that is the best way to loose an election.

Feminists:

Feminazis:

Sava · July 30, 2003, 23:49

I agree...
Feminists

Femnazis

although I think some people buy too much into such stereotypes. I doubt there are as many hardcore femnazis as some people might think.

:) Smiley · July 30, 2003, 23:53

Quote:

Originally posted by Comrade Tassadar
I once had a feminazi tell me that "Because ALL wars are started by males, all males should be shot and then world peace would ensue.".

I laughed

What messed up logic. How do you shoot half the population in the world and not World War 3?

Nubclear · July 31, 2003, 00:55

My wife is part of the "Femenist Movement", however shes not an extremist.

Most Feminists aren't extremists, but its just those that are....Scary

monolith94 · July 31, 2003, 01:01

That was a totally silly and ridiculous jab at Hillary.

Giant_Squid · July 31, 2003, 01:05

To be fair, I don't know how much this has to do with feminism. This woman's description sounds more like the mental health system in general - you're classified as someone who needs help, there aren't enough resources to actually help you in a meaningful way, so you're led through the motions with any annoyance at the pointlessness of the procedure being taken as "resistance" (which to be fair is probably better than letting people who really have problems slip through when you don't have enough resources to actually identify the difference)
Reading between the lines - why did this woman have her children taken away from her? It sounds like she had either had some sort of incident or something that could be perceived as one, and that these workers very reasonably made her actually take the course she was supposed to take before they let her loose with them again. Of course, I could be wrong - maybe the state takes children away for no reason these days, which would be disturbing.

blackice · July 31, 2003, 01:35

Quote:

maybe the state takes children away for no reason these days, which would be disturbing.

They create the reasons as does the CAS here in Canada. It is disturbing and the worst part is they have the power to do it without intervention...

Boris Godunov, Giant_Squid read on:

Quote:

"Hillary Clinton stated openly in a speech in New York this summer that her goal was to have a social worker in every home, except of course her own."

Article
Parents Gather Against DSS In Candlelight Vigil On Cape Cod
State Condemned For ‘Child Abductions’

Tip of the ice burg, here in Canada no different...Been there did that...

Oh ya baby a long way....

asleepathewheel · July 31, 2003, 02:26

True story:

My mother was called a feminazi by Rush himself.

See, they were friends in high school. She is now a teacher at the school and he was the speaker at a graduation a few years back (he was the speaker at my hs graduation as well, I was the only one on thecommittee to vote against him). She was the reader ofthe names. He told her to get him some water and she told him that he could get it himself (should've asked please, my mom's not his secretary) and he called her a feminazi in front of her principal and colleagues. Well, he called us at home that night and apologized.

ah rusty limbaugh.

Dis · July 31, 2003, 02:30

feminists

feminazis

sometimes it takes a ***** to change men's horrible attitudes towards women

mrmitchell · July 31, 2003, 02:32

Dissident, please say you are kidding me.

(Feminazism could be a good S&M-type thing, couldn't it though?)

EDIT: Then again, come to think of it, accusing the man of rape before ****ing isn't as sexy as just spanking and hot love.

Dis · July 31, 2003, 03:07

first of all I read Wendy's column at Fox News.

She is politically motivated.

I'm sure we are hearing only one side of this story.

Counsilling is good for abused women. Even if she thinks she doesn't need counsilling, she probalby does.

Sikander · July 31, 2003, 05:29

Quote:

Originally posted by Dissident

Counsilling is good for abused women. Even if she thinks she doesn't need counsilling, she probalby does.

Denying that you need counseling is the first sign that you need inpatient counseling!

St Leo · August 1, 2003, 00:55

Male Chauvinazis.

Jack_www · August 1, 2003, 01:32

I dont even understand the damn point of the article. It makes no sense. ALl she does is complain about having to go to this group secession for battered women to get her kids back and wonders why she has not gotten them yet. I can think of a million reasons why this laddy lost her kids and I dont need to know all the details of her situation. I just pick it up from her view of the group and all the help people are trying to give her.

Solly · August 1, 2003, 11:47

Females

Feminists

Ben Kenobi · August 1, 2003, 11:58

Quote:

Each woman is worth many dollars to DSS and to Independence House.

This comment warrants some investigation, even if the rest seems rather politically motivated. Are the counsellors serving the best interests of their clients?

Bugs ****ing Bunny · August 1, 2003, 12:48

This a shocking example of female aggression to men.

The guy gets drunk just once in his life, and she makes him go to AA. What a ballbreaker.

Japher · August 1, 2003, 12:52

I don't think that article had anything to do feminism, instead I think was a shinning example of the abuse of social systems and the misuse of government money... Thank you dems for making such programs (that one's for Sava

)

---

But I can harp on Feminists... I hate anyone who is an extremist on any point. Everything in moderation... everything... I am very, very, very, adminant about that... I guess you can call me a moderate extremist... should I hate myself?

Boris Godunov · August 1, 2003, 13:17

Quote:

Originally posted by blackice
Boris Godunov, Giant_Squid read on:

Quote:

"Hillary Clinton stated openly in a speech in New York this summer that her goal was to have a social worker in every home, except of course her own."

Article

Give me a break! That isn't a quote of Hillary's speech, that's a quote of someone claiming that's what Hillary said. What a crock of BS! Where's the actual quote of what Hillary said?

The point of It Takes a Village, as anyone who has bothered to read it will know, isn't about having a massively instrusive social worker network. It's about how everyone in a community bears some responsibililty for the safety, education and well-being of children, whether by direct or indirect involvement. It's about how children are affected by everything that happens in their communities, so it is important that everyone keep that in mind.

Man, the strawmen are out in force!