Is falling in love the best way to start? - Page 2

Alexander's Horse · August 11, 2003, 01:42

Settle Ted - I made that up.

st_swithin · August 11, 2003, 01:44

Ha ha, you must be in a human incarnation for that to work. My cats also fell in love with me from day 1, but I'm not sure I can reciprocate in full.

Alexander's Horse · August 11, 2003, 01:58

ya its fortunate I'm a horse eh.

st_swithin · August 11, 2003, 02:02

Or a Pylon, right?

Alexander's Horse · August 11, 2003, 02:18

As far as I'm concerned, one woman at a time is already too many.

st_swithin · August 11, 2003, 02:21

Heh. I was worried you were gonna say Seabiscuit, and I was gonna have to tell you to take a hike, because I ain't taking sloppy seconds from Tobey Maguire.

SuperSneak · August 11, 2003, 02:31

Hmmm...I fell in instant, crashing, jangling love with my wife...immediately asked her to a concert and we got stinking rotten drunk the first date and made out when I dropped her off.
Then a very fitful several months followed which saw us seemingly irrevocably broken up, followed by a few months of absolutely no contact and bitter regret, followed by a note on my car, followed by the inevitable reunion, followed by cohabitation, followed by a child, followed by a year of soul searching, followed by marriage.
Marriage is ok, I guess, but too complex and simple at the same time to even possibly explain to the uninitiated...much of the jaundiced sorrow expressed ironically by men and women in marriage is painfully true, but the comfort and ease is better than can be explained.
In a fantasy world, I'd marry my best friend (which she pretty much is now) but my best friend would be Jennifer Garner.

st_swithin · August 11, 2003, 02:37

What's your Alias?

SuperSneak · August 11, 2003, 02:42

Captain Supertongue.

Az · August 11, 2003, 03:54

having a crush first, and then gradually falling in love with them as individuals later.

Q Classic · August 11, 2003, 12:10

i've only been in love once (and i'm still in love, so.)

it was a gradual thing: being friends first gave us the opportunity to learn all about each other and get used to each other before things caught fire, so...

it's lasted eight years so far...

and sprayber's right on the money. she and i are having to let each other go for now, since we'll be on opposite sides of the world for about a year. ain't a happy thing, but...

chequita guevara · August 11, 2003, 12:21

Quote:

Originally posted by Azazel
having a crush first, and then gradually falling in love with them as individuals later.

Arrian · August 11, 2003, 12:30

Quote:

A few years ago I feel for this gorgeous Philipino girl that was from my hometown. I distinctly remember the first time I saw her and my comment to my best friend who was with me. I told him that girl will be the death of me, meaning that I could already tell there would be many sleepless nights because of her. I was right, because over the course of the next 3 years she was in and out of my life with varying degrees of happiness. When it finally ended I admitted to myself that I was never really in love with her. All her good qualities had been those that I have given to her and which were not really there.

That rings a bell. My "first love" was a girl I met at college, and man did I fall hard. She was beautiful (Korean, mmm), smart, nice, etc. Thing is, probably because I was sooooooo attracted to her, I kinda accentuated the positive, ya know? And, while I did win her over and spend ~2yrs with her, it ended badly (painfully). I think both of us were in love with the person we wished the other was. The reality of who we really were was just close enough to fool us both - resulting in deep feelings, a long relationship, and a very painful series of breakups & getbacktogethers before we both realized we had to throw in the towel.

My current gf was a friend I wasn't at all interested in at first. Totally different relationship (less intense, more mature). I'm pretty sure this one's gonna go the distance.

-Arrian

Brundlefly · August 11, 2003, 13:13

Quote:

Originally posted by Alinestra Covelia
MRT144's thread got me thinking. In all my days and through all my boyfriends, I don't think I ever really fell in love with any of them. Instead, I got to know them and spent time with them and the process was much more gradual. After a period of time, I found that I liked the guy a lot and that was that - we were dating.

I've never fallen in love, in the sense of suddenly being struck by anybody and thinking about them feverishly, etc.

You sound like my kind of girl..

Quote:

[SIZE=1] I was wondering if that made my love any less deep, because it was less spontaneous. What do you think? Is it better to fall in love? Or to grow to love somebody?

As soon as I hear the words "I love you", it's time to eject from the relationship. From that point on, a girl will be too sensitive about things I do and say and too dramatic to be any fun anymore. There are plenty of girls out there that just want to keep things light and fun. I will go and find another soon after I hear "I love you".

Imran Siddiqui · August 11, 2003, 13:19

Arrian, damn does that sound familiar

. I guess we all go through that one. Then we get smarter and more mature and learn not to accentuate the positive too much

.

chequita guevara · August 11, 2003, 13:22

Happy puppy love has its place. Intense burning we gotta **** now in the middle of this phone booth love also has its place. But eventually you get older, and you burn out. Then you need a more stable, mature kind of love, which has it's own wonderful intensity, just not the kind that makes you walk into walls.

Imran Siddiqui · August 11, 2003, 13:27

True dat. Stable, mature is good. Even though my ex was initially a friend, I think when we got together we expected too much, and after the pupply love stage realized it just wasn't what we thought it was going to be (and now I can see the kind of bit... er person she actually is

).

Az · August 11, 2003, 13:32

I hate the puppy stage. But I don't think I'd be getting any of it any time soon (damn college, now I need to lose some 40lbs!) so I have nothing to worry about.

Imran Siddiqui · August 11, 2003, 13:35

The puppy stage is ok, it's just false advertising

. After a year or so, your relationship won't be like it. If someone cannot adapt to the change, the relationship won't last long after that.

Japher · August 11, 2003, 13:35

no such thing as 'love' at first sight

lust at first sight is more like it

then if you are compatible it can be come love

but you never really know

the only love that really exists is true love

and true love is only realized when he/she has been with you your whole life and is the last thing you ever see through your mortal eyes

Imran Siddiqui · August 11, 2003, 13:36

Quote:

and true love is only realized when he/she has been with you your whole life and is the last thing you ever see through your mortal eyes

What if she dies before you?

Japher · August 11, 2003, 13:43

Quote:

What if she dies before you?

Then you know you were her true love, leading to the logical conclusion that she was yours and since their is no use in loving anyone else you can just whore around... Wooot!

Alex · August 12, 2003, 16:55

Oh, Allie... You know I was in love with you at first sight... but I can give you time to fell in love with me, no problems.

And Feephi, take your dirty hands off of her.

st_swithin · August 12, 2003, 20:41

1) Go to sleep.
2) When finally in stage 4 REM, walk your dream-self to a mirror.
3) Take a good, long look. If you see yourself the way other see you, you're still awake. Otherwise, you've just peered into the face of Madness.

Ted Striker · August 12, 2003, 22:38

Quote:

Originally posted by SuperSneak
Hmmm...I fell in instant, crashing, jangling love with my wife...immediately asked her to a concert and we got stinking rotten drunk the first date and made out when I dropped her off.
Then a very fitful several months followed which saw us seemingly irrevocably broken up, followed by a few months of absolutely no contact and bitter regret, followed by a note on my car, followed by the inevitable reunion, followed by cohabitation, followed by a child, followed by a year of soul searching, followed by marriage.
Marriage is ok, I guess, but too complex and simple at the same time to even possibly explain to the uninitiated...much of the jaundiced sorrow expressed ironically by men and women in marriage is painfully true, but the comfort and ease is better than can be explained.

Dude, that's one of the best stories I've heard.

Glad it all worked out Sneak.