Join Assimilation Corp - See the World!

[Squeblish Nef?]

Hey, there!
I'm Hamahiezil, the official ACAB advertiser, and I'm here to talk to you about war.
Yes, war.
The NS world is very unstable these days, with wars cropping up in the unlikliest of places.
That's why I'm going to to make you all an offer.

I'm going to ask if you want to join Assimilation Corp, a massive international supercorporation incorporating 19+ billion people.
That's over three times the population of the Real World!

If you join Assimilation Corp, you will recieve:
-Full military support. (Conditions apply.)
-Access to the offcial ACAB armoury.
-Access to the official ACAB slave market.
-UN backing. (But not from me.)

The price for all of this is pitiful: A small(ish) amount of troops, who will join the Assimilation Corp Enforcement League.
The soldiers will be housed in the Black Pyramid, where they will be pampered rotten.

Any nations who wish to join will have to telegram Pharaoh Gunsanroses.

[Mr. President]

Slave market, eh?

Thanks for the offer, but my current nations will, I think, stay in Apolyton.

If I ever create more, though, I'll certainly consider the Assimilation Corp.

[GeneralTacticus]

Just a note - joining Assimilation Corp doesn't mean you have to switch regions.

[Squeblish Nef?]

Ta, GT.
Membership's mostly secret (optional), which means that an Assimilation Corp region would be stupid.

If you want to join the Assimilation Corp Administrative Board, then tell me in 25 words or less how you could benefit the Corp.
All ACAB members recieve a 10% discount at all ACAB stores.

[DarkCloud]

Could we have some information about the slaves, please

[Squeblish Nef?]

The ACAB slave market will be coming soon.
I need to start up the weapons store first.

[Sheep]

THe Assimiliation Corp is nothing but a front for control over the world, by one person. While Sheepsta continues to work on gathering intellegience on the figurehead known only as Mr.X we seek to rid Apolyton of this menace.

[GeneralTacticus]

Yes, after all, let's not let those vile, subversive things known as facts and realities get in our way... Guess you never did manage to break the habit of lying about your enemies, did you?

From the Exclusive Capitalizt Zone:

97 minutes ago The Confederacy of New Sheepmania I am instucted to infrom you that the Assimiliation Corps is planning a global wide nuclear strike against all non-members in the coming days. Your assistance in averting this is most welcome. NEw Sheepmania cannot fight the Corp alone.

Not only is this backed up by zero evidence, but ti comes from a nation that some time ago stated it's intention of launching an unprovoked nuclear strike against another nation, solely on the grounds that it was 'pissing it off':

Posts in the Black Pit of Charr Regional HQ as of 5:55 PM, Monday 28/7/2003:

3 days ago The Allied States of Redlist Vigilantes Newsflash: Success at last! Today noted assassin 'Jed' Bolander completed his 150th contract! Yoda, Chief Yoda of Yodavia was successfully eliminated when small nuclear device detonated itself outside the Jedi Temple. This incident follows several failed assassination attempts made by fellow assassin Alexandra Quim.
3 days ago The Armed Republic of Han Song Say good bye to hollywood
2 days ago The Confederacy of New Sheepmania Patagon is pissing me off. He better give me a good reason not launch my nuclear weapons at him or he wont have 1.033 billion people anymore. He might have 5 left but thats a generous estimate.

EDIT: Added bold for emphasis.

[Squeblish Nef?]

Originally posted by Sheep
THe Assimiliation Corp is nothing but a front for control over the world, by one person. While Sheepsta continues to work on gathering intellegience on the figurehead known only as Mr.X we seek to rid Apolyton of this menace.

Please note:
- The head of Assimilation Corp is quite obviously Pharaoh Gunsanroses.
- Pharaoh Gunsanroses is not in Apolyton.
- Membership is voluntary. Unless you're conquered.
- You can't spell.

Get your facts right, you underinformed bilge rat.