August 31, 2003, 17:47
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#1
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Emperor
Local Time: 09:03
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: a raving alcoholic drama queen with a penchant for the biosciences
Posts: 3,646
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How Gay are You? Starchild Version
For all those questioning, wondering, and groping their sexuality, I've decided to come up with a quick and easy test that will help you determine how gay you are by comparing you to the gayest thing on Apolyton.
Me. 
Since I score a fabulous 10/10 on the homo-scale, I'll state a series of things that I do. The more of those things that you do, the higher on the gay scale you are. Anyone answering half or more is gay and can call me (email photo and sexual interests first).
1) I lipsync to disco classics in front of the mirror. At least once a day.
2) I know all the words to most Little Mermaid songs and a fair proportion of other Disney classics.
3) I spend hours searching music stores for discount ABBA CD's.
4) I know what a Diva is, I use the word correctly in context, and I buy their CD's without hesitation.
5) I got my blonde highlights dyed purple and pink. And I managed to make that match with my clothing.
6) I moisturise my skin.
7) I go to Gay Pride Parades. Wearing a t-shirt that says "Slut" on it. In front of TV cameras.
8) I gesture with my hands while my conversations are full of semi-obscure pop-culture references while stressing random bits. I'm so all Sarah Michelle Gellar in the way I speak.
9) I have sex with men. In hindsight, this one should be moved higher up on the list.
10) I can be given jeans, a hawaiian shirt, and a big wooly sweater and still look fabulous.
11) I use the word fabulous.
12) Did I mention that sleeping with men thing?
13) I do brunch. I drink expensive coffees just so people can see my drink them. I read political magazines like Advocate and Gay Times mainly to look at the pictures of half naked men.
14) I have, at various times, worn lipstick, eye liner, and body glitter.
15) I use sarcasm and *****iness to hide a delicate inner soul damaged by years of isolation and anxiety.
16) Speaking of *****iness, did you see what Sarah Jessica Parker wore the last time she was in public? Her clothing advisor so deserves an...um....argh *reaches for culture reference*
17) Speaking of hiding things, a developing drugs and alcohol problem is so easily solved by another martini.
18) The Conservative Party hates me. Says so in their Manifesto, right next to the bit where they promise to assault old ladies and drink the blood of newborns on moonlit eves.
19) I'm out of ideas but if you agree with the one below, you must be gay.
20) Are you sure I didn't mention I **** men?
__________________
Exult in your existence, because that very process has blundered unwittingly on its own negation. Only a small, local negation, to be sure: only one species, and only a minority of that species; but there lies hope. [...] Stand tall, Bipedal Ape. The shark may outswim you, the cheetah outrun you, the swift outfly you, the capuchin outclimb you, the elephant outpower you, the redwood outlast you. But you have the biggest gifts of all: the gift of understanding the ruthlessly cruel process that gave us all existence [and the] gift of revulsion against its implications.
-Richard Dawkins
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August 31, 2003, 17:49
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#2
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King
Local Time: 02:03
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 2,394
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You're oozing with mantrons. I can't risk staying around this thread any longer before they start to get on to me.
__________________
meet the new boss, same as the old boss
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August 31, 2003, 17:53
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#3
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President of the OT
Local Time: 02:03
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Nov 1999
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 40,843
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Re: How Gay are You? Starchild Version
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Starchild
1) I lipsync to disco classics in front of the mirror. At least once a day.
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No. 
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Quote:
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2) I know all the words to most Little Mermaid songs and a fair proportion of other Disney classics.
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No.
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Quote:
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3) I spend hours searching music stores for discount ABBA CD's.
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No.
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Quote:
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4) I know what a Diva is, I use the word correctly in context, and I buy their CD's without hesitation.
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No.
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Quote:
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5) I got my blonde highlights dyed purple and pink. And I managed to make that match with my clothing.
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No.
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Quote:
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6) I moisturise my skin.
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Yes. But that's just good practice.
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Quote:
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7) I go to Gay Pride Parades. Wearing a t-shirt that says "Slut" on it. In front of TV cameras.
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No.
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Quote:
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8) I gesture with my hands while my conversations are full of semi-obscure pop-culture references while stressing random bits. I'm so all Sarah Michelle Gellar in the way I speak.
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No.
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Quote:
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9) I have sex with men. In hindsight, this one should be moved higher up on the list.
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Yes.
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Quote:
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10) I can be given jeans, a hawaiian shirt, and a big wooly sweater and still look fabulous.
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Yes.
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Quote:
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11) I use the word fabulous.
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No.
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Quote:
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12) Did I mention that sleeping with men thing?
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Yes.
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Quote:
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13) I do brunch. I drink expensive coffees just so people can see my drink them. I read political magazines like Advocate and Gay Times mainly to look at the pictures of half naked men.
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No.
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Quote:
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14) I have, at various times, worn lipstick, eye liner, and body glitter.
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No.
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Quote:
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15) I use sarcasm and *****iness to hide a delicate inner soul damaged by years of isolation and anxiety.
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Yes.
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Quote:
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16) Speaking of *****iness, did you see what Sarah Jessica Parker wore the last time she was in public? Her clothing advisor so deserves an...um....argh *reaches for culture reference*
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No.
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Quote:
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17) Speaking of hiding things, a developing drugs and alcohol problem is so easily solved by another martini.
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No.
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Quote:
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18) The Conservative Party hates me. Says so in their Manifesto, right next to the bit where they promise to assault old ladies and drink the blood of newborns on moonlit eves.
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The conservative party here is backed by most gay leaders, so no.
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Quote:
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19) I'm out of ideas but if you agree with the one below, you must be gay.
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Yes.
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Quote:
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20) Are you sure I didn't mention I **** men?
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Yes.
__________________
"I'll never doubt you again when it comes to hockey, [Prince] Asher." - Guynemer
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August 31, 2003, 17:53
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#4
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King
Local Time: 01:03
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 2,963
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hmm i scored a massive 0/20. 
__________________
Hold my girlfriend while I kiss your skis.
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August 31, 2003, 17:55
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#5
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King
Local Time: 01:03
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Hollywood, CA
Posts: 1,413
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Re: How Gay are You? Starchild Version
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Originally posted by Starchild
Since I score a fabulous 10/10 on the homo-scale, I'll state a series of things that I do.
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Is that a shot at me? 
__________________
"I predict your ignore will rival Ben's" - Ecofarm
^ The Poly equivalent of:
"I hope you can see this 'cause I'm [flipping you off] as hard as I can" - Ignignokt the Mooninite
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August 31, 2003, 18:01
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#6
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Deity
Local Time: 03:03
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: Underwater no one can hear sharks scream
Posts: 11,096
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Quote:
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20) Are you sure I didn't mention I **** men?
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I'm pretty sure you failed to mention that.
__________________
Rosbifs are destructive scum- Spiffor
I make no bones about my moral support for [terrorist] organizations. - chegitz guevara
If government is big enough to give you everything you want, it is also big enough to take everything you have. - Gerald Ford
Blackwidow24 and FemmeAdonis fan club
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August 31, 2003, 18:06
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#7
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Emperor
Local Time: 03:03
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Flyover Country
Posts: 4,659
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Re: Re: How Gay are You? Starchild Version
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Originally posted by The Emperor Fabulous
Is that a shot at me?
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Probably not, but I'm fairly sure that 11) is.
__________________
"We have tried spending money. We are spending more than we have ever spent before and it does not work...After eight years of this Administration, we have just as much unemployment as when we started... And an enormous debt to boot!" Henry Morgenthau, Franklin Delano Roosevelt's Treasury secretary, 1941.
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August 31, 2003, 18:12
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#8
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Emperor
Local Time: 03:03
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: Alexandria, VA
Posts: 4,213
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Somehow I think from this, Starchild is the only gay person.
__________________
"I'm moving to the Left" - Lancer
"I imagine the neighbors on your right are estatic." - Slowwhand
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August 31, 2003, 18:43
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#9
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Emperor
Local Time: 10:03
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: Copenful Wonderhagen
Posts: 4,490
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I can't believe you left out the fact that your username is "Starchild". That alone should close any discussion
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August 31, 2003, 18:49
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#10
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CTP1/2 GODDESS
Local Time: 08:03
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: 10069
Posts: 198
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1Vl I AM NOT A LESBIAN!!!! lV1
Oh wait, that's not what this is about, is it?
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August 31, 2003, 18:55
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#11
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PolyCast Thread Necromancer
Local Time: 08:03
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: We are all Asher now.
Posts: 1,437
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Re: How Gay are You? Starchild Version
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Starchild
1) I lipsync to disco classics in front of the mirror. At least once a day.
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No.
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Quote:
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2) I know all the words to most Little Mermaid songs and a fair proportion of other Disney classics.
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No 
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Quote:
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3) I spend hours searching music stores for discount ABBA CD's.
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Who? No.
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Quote:
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4) I know what a Diva is, I use the word correctly in context, and I buy their CD's without hesitation.
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No.
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Quote:
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5) I got my blonde highlights dyed purple and pink. And I managed to make that match with my clothing.
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No.
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Quote:
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I Moisturise my skin.
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This is unfair as I have eczema.
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7) I go to Gay Pride Parades. Wearing a t-shirt that says "Slut" on it. In front of TV cameras.
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No.
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Quote:
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8) I gesture with my hands while my conversations are full of semi-obscure pop-culture references while stressing random bits. I'm so all Sarah Michelle Gellar in the way I speak.
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Who? No.
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Quote:
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9) I have sex with men. In hindsight, this one should be moved higher up on the list.
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No.
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Quote:
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10) I can be given jeans, a hawaiian shirt, and a big wooly sweater and still look fabulous.
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No.
[QUOTE[ 11) I use the word fabulous. [/QUOTE]
No.
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Quote:
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12) Did I mention that sleeping with men thing?
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Trying to trick me into saying yes?! 
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13) I do brunch. I drink expensive coffees just so people can see my drink them. I read political magazines like Advocate and Gay Times mainly to look at the pictures of half naked men.
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No.
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Quote:
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14) I have, at various times, worn lipstick, eye liner, and body glitter.
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No.
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Quote:
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5) I use sarcasm and *****iness to hide a delicate inner soul damaged by years of isolation and anxiety.
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No.
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Quote:
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16) Speaking of *****iness, did you see what Sarah Jessica Parker wore the last time she was in public? Her clothing advisor so deserves an...um....argh *reaches for culture reference*
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Who? No.
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Quote:
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17) Speaking of hiding things, a developing drugs and alcohol problem is so easily solved by another martini.
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No.
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Quote:
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18) The Conservative Party hates me. Says so in their Manifesto, right next to the bit where they promise to assault old ladies and drink the blood of newborns on moonlit eves.
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I'm a communist.
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Quote:
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19) I'm out of ideas but if you agree with the one below, you must be gay.
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Unable to respond.
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20) Are you sure I didn't mention I **** men?
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AAARRRGGGHHH ANOTHER TRICK QUESTION
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August 31, 2003, 18:59
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#12
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Deity
Local Time: 01:03
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: In a bamboo forest hiding from Dale.
Posts: 17,436
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Just out of curiosity... Doesn't it hurt to get ****ed in the ass? My ex-girlfriend said so and asked me not to do it again after our first time.
__________________
Christianity is the belief in a cosmic Jewish zombie who can give us eternal life if we symbolically eat his flesh and blood and telepathically tell him that we accept him as our lord and master so he can remove an evil force present in all humanity because a woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from an apple tree.
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August 31, 2003, 19:02
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#13
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CTP1/2 GODDESS
Local Time: 08:03
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: 10069
Posts: 198
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quote:
Originally posted by Starchild
1) I lipsync to disco classics in front of the mirror. At least once a day.
Nay.
quote:
2) I know all the words to most Little Mermaid songs and a fair proportion of other Disney classics.
Nay.
quote:
3) I spend hours searching music stores for discount ABBA CD's.
Nay.
quote:
4) I know what a Diva is, I use the word correctly in context, and I buy their CD's without hesitation.
Nay.
quote:
5) I got my blonde highlights dyed purple and pink. And I managed to make that match with my clothing.
Nay.
quote:
6) I moisturise my skin.
Some of it - aye.
quote:
7) I go to Gay Pride Parades. Wearing a t-shirt that says "Slut" on it. In front of TV cameras.
Nay. Mine says "Pvssy"
quote:
8) I gesture with my hands while my conversations are full of semi-obscure pop-culture references while stressing random bits. I'm so all Sarah Michelle Gellar in the way I speak.
Nay.
quote:
9) I have sex with men. In hindsight, this one should be moved higher up on the list.
aye.
quote:
10) I can be given jeans, a hawaiian shirt, and a big wooly sweater and still look fabulous.
Aye.
quote:
11) I use the word fabulous.
Nay.
quote:
12) Did I mention that sleeping with men thing?
Aye, two at a time, sometimes 3.
quote:
13) I do brunch. I drink expensive coffees just so people can see my drink them. I read political magazines like Advocate and Gay Times mainly to look at the pictures of half naked men.
NAY. I've already seen Fight Club.
quote:
14) I have, at various times, worn lipstick, eye liner, and body glitter.
aye, but it's usually on accident.
quote:
15) I use sarcasm and *****iness to hide a delicate inner soul damaged by years of isolation and anxiety.
AYE.
quote:
16) Speaking of *****iness, did you see what Sarah Jessica Parker wore the last time she was in public? Her clothing advisor so deserves an...um....argh *reaches for culture reference*
Aye, and aye. She needs a new stylist in a BAD way. So do Britney Speers and Christina Gaguilera.
quote:
17) Speaking of hiding things, a developing drugs and alcohol problem is so easily solved by another martini.
NAY.
quote:
18) The Conservative Party hates me. Says so in their Manifesto, right next to the bit where they promise to assault old ladies and drink the blood of newborns on moonlit eves.
Aye.
quote:
19) I'm out of ideas but if you agree with the one below, you must be gay.
Aye.
quote:
20) Are you sure I didn't mention I **** men?
Nay.
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August 31, 2003, 19:10
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#14
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King
Local Time: 09:03
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Dilbert
Posts: 1,839
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Re: How Gay are You? Starchild Version
1) No
2) I know the words to some of the Mulan and Lion King soundtracks, but that's it
3) No, but then again I'm not my mother
4) Not on your life
5) I like having brown hair, but tend to shy away from brown clothes
6) My skin gets wet in the shower every morning, but I suspect that you're refering to something else
7) I'm not photogenic enough to appear on TV
8) I use hand gestures a lot, but I think that's the continental blood in me rather than anything else
9) No. I don't have sex with women either, but this is hardly a lifestyle choice, whereas the man thing is
10) I look crap in pretty much anything other than a suit. Which is worrying.
11) No.
12) Maybe you did. I don't remember.
13) I drink Belgian beer because I happen to like the taste.
14) I have, but not not willingly.
15) I use sarcasm, but the comparison ends there.
16) I try not to look at Sarah Jessica Parker if I can avoid it.
17) Quite true.
18) They hate me too, but only because I won't vote fro them.
19) We shall see.
20) Come to think of it, you did mention it in passing.
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August 31, 2003, 19:49
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#15
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Local Time: 19:03
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Skanky Father
Posts: 16,530
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I got two - the moisturiser and the makeup one.
For the makeup, it was part of being goth.
__________________
I'm building a wagon! On some other part of the internets, obviously (but not that other site).
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August 31, 2003, 19:51
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#16
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King
Local Time: 08:03
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Uni of Wales Swansea
Posts: 1,262
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Shorter than going over the whole bloody list.
I moisturise, sleep with men, drink too much, take drugs and Conservatives keep following me round waving a little noose.
But I only read Gay Times for the articles.
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August 31, 2003, 20:06
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#17
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CTP1/2 GODDESS
Local Time: 08:03
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: 10069
Posts: 198
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There's always time for lube. If you forget that, it always hurts.
We're talking about sailboats, que no?
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August 31, 2003, 20:09
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#18
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Emperor
Local Time: 04:03
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: San Antonio, TX
Posts: 4,264
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Quote:
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2) I know all the words to most Little Mermaid songs and a fair proportion of other Disney classics.
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Right from the moment when I met her, saw her.
I said "she's gorgeous" and I fell...
Here in town there's only she,
Who's as beautiful as me.
So I'm making plans to woo and marry Belle...
 But I can't be gay! I have a child!
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August 31, 2003, 20:13
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#19
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CTP1/2 GODDESS
Local Time: 08:03
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: 10069
Posts: 198
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Right, and the Pope doesn't poop in the woods, and Bears are never Catholic.
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August 31, 2003, 20:27
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#20
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Emperor
Local Time: 18:03
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Caerdydd, Cymru
Posts: 5,303
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2/20 and neither of those involved having sex with men...
__________________
"People would rather die than think, and most people do." - Bertrand Russell
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August 31, 2003, 20:33
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#21
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Emperor
Local Time: 03:03
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: May 2001
Location: flying too low to the ground
Posts: 4,625
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2/20
__________________
"I've lived too long with pain. I won't know who I am without it. We have to leave this place, I am almost happy here."
- Ender, from Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card
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August 31, 2003, 20:34
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#22
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Firaxis Games Programmer/Designer
Local Time: 04:03
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Maryland
Posts: 9,567
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No.
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August 31, 2003, 20:35
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#23
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King
Local Time: 08:03
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Uni of Wales Swansea
Posts: 1,262
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Trip
No.
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Yes.
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August 31, 2003, 20:38
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#24
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King
Local Time: 01:03
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: Boulder, Colorado, United Snakes of America
Posts: 1,417
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0 out of 20, though I used to moisturize before my girlfriend moved in and disrupted decades of behavioral inertia. Now I still try to moisturize, but I can never find the lotion when I need it. (It's always on her dressing table, even the extra I bought so it would be in the bathroom where I need it.)
Amusingly, I do have some "feminine" qualities, mostly people skill stuff and good taste in art and design. But none of these things tend to apply to me physically, where I'm as hetero and butch as anyone is likely to want to be.
__________________
He's got the Midas touch.
But he touched it too much!
Hey Goldmember, Hey Goldmember!
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August 31, 2003, 20:42
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#25
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CTP1/2 GODDESS
Local Time: 08:03
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: 10069
Posts: 198
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My dad always looked like crap in everything but a suit as well, although I often wonder if that was a state of mind rather than a state of being.
You know, if you wear a monkey suit, you feel like a monkey. Wear your birthday suit and you feel like it's your birthday.
Depends on the uniform you choose.
Check, please.
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August 31, 2003, 20:45
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#26
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King
Local Time: 08:03
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Hidden within an infantile Ikea fortress
Posts: 1,054
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Burn this shiyaya to the effing ground and come hang out in an intelligent, cool thread!
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August 31, 2003, 20:45
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#27
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Local Time: 19:03
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Skanky Father
Posts: 16,530
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If I am wearing my birthday suit, I expect a "present". 
__________________
I'm building a wagon! On some other part of the internets, obviously (but not that other site).
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August 31, 2003, 20:48
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#28
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CTP1/2 GODDESS
Local Time: 08:03
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: 10069
Posts: 198
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You gotta go outside like that to get anything, and it might not 'quite' be what you were expecting.
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August 31, 2003, 20:49
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#29
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Emperor
Local Time: 01:03
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 4,412
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Trip
No.
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Explain this, then. 
__________________
Tutto nel mondo č burla
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August 31, 2003, 20:52
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#30
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CTP1/2 GODDESS
Local Time: 08:03
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: 10069
Posts: 198
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Photoshop.
Easy peasy Japanesey.
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