September 1, 2003, 08:06
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#1
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Settler
Local Time: 08:05
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 0
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Which Type Of Woman Is Your Girlfriend?
HARD-DISK woman: She remembers everything, FOREVER.
RAM woman: She forgets about you the moment you turn her off.
WINDOWS woman: Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.
EXCEL woman: They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for
your four basic needs.
SCREENSAVER woman: She is good for notjing but at least she is fun!
INTERNET woman: Difficult to access. // Everybody will access!!
SERVER woman: Always busy when you need her.
MULTIMEDIA woman: She makes horrible things look beautiful.
CD-ROM woman: She is always faster and faster.
E-MAIL woman: Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.
VIRUS woman: Also known as "wife"; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything
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September 1, 2003, 08:37
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#2
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Emperor
Local Time: 10:05
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Mar 2000
Posts: 8,278
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Why do you hate women so much?
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Banana
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September 1, 2003, 08:39
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#3
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OTF Moderator
Local Time: 09:05
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: May 1999
Location: Ming on rakastajani
Posts: 7,511
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Mine's vapour ware.
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September 1, 2003, 08:41
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#4
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Emperor
Local Time: 11:05
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Israel
Posts: 6,480
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Quote:
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Originally posted by BeBro
Why do you hate women so much?
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Because we dont have them.
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"Beware of he who would deny you access to information, for in his heart he dreams himself your master" - Commissioner Pravin Lal.
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September 1, 2003, 08:41
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#5
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Emperor
Local Time: 10:05
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Mar 2000
Posts: 8,278
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__________________
Banana
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September 1, 2003, 09:27
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#6
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Local Time: 08:05
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Oxford or Northampton, England
Posts: 8,116
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 I would answer but my girlfriend now browses OTF 
I think the HD one works better as:
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Quote:
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HARD-DISK woman: She remembers everything, until she meets a male with a magnetic effect, when she immediately forgets that you exist
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Smile
For though he was master of the world, he was not quite sure what to do next
But he would think of something
"Hm. I suppose I should get my waffle a santa hat." - Kuciwalker
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September 1, 2003, 10:30
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#7
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Deity
Local Time: 04:05
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 21,822
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__________________
[Obama] is either a troll or has no ****ing clue how government works - GePap
Later amendments to the Constitution don't supersede earlier amendments - GePap
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September 1, 2003, 10:35
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#8
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OTF Moderator
Local Time: 09:05
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: May 1999
Location: Ming on rakastajani
Posts: 7,511
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Why not?
Some of us never visit the on topic forums.
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September 1, 2003, 10:43
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#9
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King
Local Time: 01:05
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 2,963
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just like you haven't 4339 time. 
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Hold my girlfriend while I kiss your skis.
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September 1, 2003, 10:44
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#10
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Emperor
Local Time: 04:05
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Having tea with the Third Man...
Posts: 6,169
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I think I came here and posted when I was a settler, and nobody said a thing to me.
__________________
"May I be forgiven for the ills that I have done/Friends I have forsaken and strangers I have shunned/Sins I have committed, for which others had to pay/And I haven't met the whiskey that can wash those stains away."
-Brady's Leap, "Wash."
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September 1, 2003, 10:52
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#11
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OTF Moderator
Local Time: 09:05
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: May 1999
Location: Ming on rakastajani
Posts: 7,511
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Makeo
just like you haven't 4339 time.
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I haven't, the off topic posts used to count towards your post count.
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September 1, 2003, 10:54
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#12
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Emperor
Local Time: 03:05
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: San Antonio TX USA
Posts: 3,815
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Quote:
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Originally posted by BeBro
Why do you hate women so much?
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Likely he met one with her head far up her arse as you have your. Lighten up, you give terrorists an easier time than you give him.
__________________
Gaius Mucius Scaevola Sinistra
Japher: "crap, did I just post in this thread?"
"Bloody hell, Lefty.....number one in my list of persons I have no intention of annoying, ever." Bugs ****ing Bunny
From a 6th grader who readily adpated to internet culture: "Pay attention now, because your opinions suck"
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September 1, 2003, 10:57
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#13
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King
Local Time: 01:05
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 2,963
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Quote:
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Originally posted by MikeH
I haven't, the off topic posts used to count towards your post count.
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really? 
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Hold my girlfriend while I kiss your skis.
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September 1, 2003, 10:59
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#14
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OTF Moderator
Local Time: 09:05
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: May 1999
Location: Ming on rakastajani
Posts: 7,511
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Yeah, I mean who'd want to post 4000 times about strategy games?
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September 1, 2003, 11:14
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#15
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Local Time: 08:05
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Oxford or Northampton, England
Posts: 8,116
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Quote:
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Originally posted by MikeH
Yeah, I mean who'd want to post 4000 times about strategy games?
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__________________
Smile
For though he was master of the world, he was not quite sure what to do next
But he would think of something
"Hm. I suppose I should get my waffle a santa hat." - Kuciwalker
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September 1, 2003, 11:19
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#16
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Emperor
Local Time: 03:05
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: San Antonio TX USA
Posts: 3,815
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Makeo
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Yup, 5000 of Provost harrisons postcount are variations of "I'll have a cherryade."
__________________
Gaius Mucius Scaevola Sinistra
Japher: "crap, did I just post in this thread?"
"Bloody hell, Lefty.....number one in my list of persons I have no intention of annoying, ever." Bugs ****ing Bunny
From a 6th grader who readily adpated to internet culture: "Pay attention now, because your opinions suck"
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September 1, 2003, 11:19
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#17
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Prince
Local Time: 08:05
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Please make all cheques payable to Whaleboy
Posts: 853
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I first posted here when I was a settler, and most of my posts are on OTF!
Lay off the newbies!!
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Quote:
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I would answer but my girlfriend now browses OT
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Sorry about that 
__________________
"I work in IT so I'd be buggered without a computer" - Words of wisdom from Provost Harrison
"You can be wrong AND jewish" - Wiglaf :love:
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September 1, 2003, 11:21
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#18
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Local Time: 08:05
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Oxford or Northampton, England
Posts: 8,116
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 Don't worry. Just as long as she doesn't find CGN
__________________
Smile
For though he was master of the world, he was not quite sure what to do next
But he would think of something
"Hm. I suppose I should get my waffle a santa hat." - Kuciwalker
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September 1, 2003, 11:24
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#19
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Prince
Local Time: 08:05
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Please make all cheques payable to Whaleboy
Posts: 853
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Shouldn't you get back to work Drogue? Honestly, getting paid to go on Apolyton... you really must enjoy your job! 
__________________
"I work in IT so I'd be buggered without a computer" - Words of wisdom from Provost Harrison
"You can be wrong AND jewish" - Wiglaf :love:
Last edited by Whaleboy; September 1, 2003 at 11:29.
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September 1, 2003, 11:57
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#20
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Settler
Local Time: 08:05
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Swimming with the mermaids...
Posts: 0
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Drogue
I would answer but my girlfriend now browses OTF
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Good move, Drogue. 
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Yeah, I mean who'd want to post 4000 times about strategy games?
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Couldn't have said it better myself
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September 1, 2003, 12:07
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#21
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Local Time: 08:05
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Oxford or Northampton, England
Posts: 8,116
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Quote:
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Originally posted by elijah
Shouldn't you get back to work Drogue? Honestly, getting paid to go on Apolyton... you really must enjoy your job!
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I do, and my boss has gone home Besides, I'm a lowly paid trainee, they don't care what I do. Every week I report on what I've done, and they seem happy so far. Besides, some of use can multitask
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Verres
Good move, Drogue.
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 That grin is so much scarier knowing the look on your face when you post it
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Verres
Couldn't have said it better myself
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(I seem to use that face a lot) Though SMAC is worth it, and much of it was spam intellectual discussion
__________________
Smile
For though he was master of the world, he was not quite sure what to do next
But he would think of something
"Hm. I suppose I should get my waffle a santa hat." - Kuciwalker
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September 1, 2003, 12:28
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#22
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Emperor
Local Time: 10:05
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Mar 2000
Posts: 8,278
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Lefty Scaevola
Likely he met one with her head far up her arse as you have your. Lighten up, you give terrorists an easier time than you give him.
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Edit: I hope you mean this rina guy.
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Banana
Last edited by BeBro; September 1, 2003 at 12:36.
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September 1, 2003, 12:31
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#23
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Deity
Local Time: 01:05
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: In a bamboo forest hiding from Dale.
Posts: 17,436
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Edit: Never mind I don't want to feed the troll.
__________________
Christianity is the belief in a cosmic Jewish zombie who can give us eternal life if we symbolically eat his flesh and blood and telepathically tell him that we accept him as our lord and master so he can remove an evil force present in all humanity because a woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from an apple tree.
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September 1, 2003, 12:35
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#24
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Emperor
Local Time: 09:05
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Howling at the moon
Posts: 4,421
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The average Apolytoner has thousands of girlfriends, and they all have the surname ".jpg".
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September 1, 2003, 12:42
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#25
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Emperor
Local Time: 11:05
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Xrr ZRRRRRRR!!
Posts: 6,484
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I bet rina has HIS candy cane full of sugar..... no sir, you're not fooling us. We can smell your testosterone!
__________________
In da butt.
"Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others." - Confucius
THE UNDEFEATED SUPERCITIZEN w:4 t:2 l:1 (DON'T ASK!)
"God is dead" - Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" - God.
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September 1, 2003, 13:03
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#26
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Local Time: 08:05
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Oxford or Northampton, England
Posts: 8,116
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Um... I was under the impression this thread was a bit of fun, and that Rina was just making a joke. Does anyone seriously believe he's trying to have a dig at women? I thought they were funny, but it's not like anyone actually see's women like computer parts (though I'm looking in Kassi's direction ).
__________________
Smile
For though he was master of the world, he was not quite sure what to do next
But he would think of something
"Hm. I suppose I should get my waffle a santa hat." - Kuciwalker
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September 1, 2003, 13:28
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#27
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Prince
Local Time: 08:05
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Please make all cheques payable to Whaleboy
Posts: 853
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He has the instinct for self-preservation.. I wonder why Verres..
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Quote:
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Besides, some of use can multitask
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Some of us can monotask!
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Quote:
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The average Apolytoner has thousands of girlfriends, and they all have the surname ".jpg"
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__________________
"I work in IT so I'd be buggered without a computer" - Words of wisdom from Provost Harrison
"You can be wrong AND jewish" - Wiglaf :love:
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September 1, 2003, 13:31
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#28
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Deity
Local Time: 10:05
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 11,112
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
The average Apolytoner has thousands of girlfriends, and they all have the surname ".jpg".
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/me takes a look at the "gf's"
/me wonders what everybody means by a "real girlfriend"
__________________
This space is empty... or is it?
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September 1, 2003, 14:24
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#29
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Emperor
Local Time: 04:05
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Having tea with the Third Man...
Posts: 6,169
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There goes Lazarus with his anti-GIF bias again. Tsk.
Actually, I don't have a girlfriend of *any* kind...
__________________
"May I be forgiven for the ills that I have done/Friends I have forsaken and strangers I have shunned/Sins I have committed, for which others had to pay/And I haven't met the whiskey that can wash those stains away."
-Brady's Leap, "Wash."
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September 1, 2003, 16:09
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#30
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Emperor
Local Time: 01:05
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: LF & SG(2)... still here in our hearts
Posts: 6,230
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Humor workshop
No, no, no. This is sad. Really sad.
 MikeH, you are on the right track.
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VAPOR-WARE woman: makes lots of promises, then disappears without an explanation.
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Drogue, that wouldn't be the HARD DISK woman, it would be
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FLOPPY woman: Thinks about you until she bumps into somebody with a magnetic personality.
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INTERNET is too vague, and the punch line on E-MAIL needs work. Combine (and get the order right):
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Quote:
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AOL woman: Will give access to anyone for $21.95
E-MAIL woman: Of every ten things she says, eight are of no interest whatsoever.
SPAM woman: Of every ten things she says, eight are offers to give access for $21.95
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 MULTIMEDIA and CD-ROM are all wrong:
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MULTIMEDIA woman: Showy and makes alot of noise, always changing everything in an attempt to make it "pretty."
CD-ROM woman: Easily works herself into a spin, but you have to have her around to play games with.
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The delivery on VIRUS woman is terrible—that's no way to set up a joke! KISS = KEEP IT SIMPLE, STUPID!
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VIRUS woman: Installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't uninstall her she'll ruin everything.
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Then you need the opposite of WINDOWS woman:
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LINUX woman: The ideal whom you know would do everything right, but is so high maintenance that you don't dare approach her.
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__________________
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