Who Pays On A Date...

[Ben Kenobi]

Are there any clubs to meet smart women?

What do you mean by 'smart?'

Someone you can talk to? Shares similar interests?

[Urban Ranger]

Originally posted by Dissident
If you spend lavish amounts of money on a woman, she will see you as a chump and a loser.

<-- A chump and a loser

[Drogue]

Originally posted by Dissident
If you spend lavish amounts of money on a woman, she will see you as a chump and a loser.

What counts as lavish amounts?


I enjoy spoiling people I care about, it's only when I run out of money it frustrates me.


As for who pays, I think with equality and equal pay, it shouldn't be just up to the bloke to pay. Though spitting the cheque seems a little unnatural. I remember a book I read years ago that advocated a situation where one pays for one date and then the other pays for the other, though it seems a bit constrained too. I think so long as one partner isn't being taken for a ride, it doesn't matter too much. However if one earns more, that should probably be reflected in who pays more overall.

I don't think it should be expected that the bloke pays, since we live in nations that are pretty much equal in terms of earning potential (and have laws to ensure it). Indeed, I think it should be expected that over the course of a relationship both parties contribute. However when it comes to me I like paying. Especially for a first date, I would always pay, because it makes me feel chivalrous. I don't like the idea that it's taken for granted and expected that the bloke pays, but I think being generous is nice It's the little things that are nice though, such as carrying their bags, opening doors, etc. I used to think it was unfair that blokes were expected to be chivalrous, but now I enjoy it.

In short, it shouldn't be expected that the male pays, or that he will be chivalrous in terms of putting himself out for her benefit. We live in a nation of equality, and that should be reflected in dating. However I think it is nice to be generous, and I personally enjoy spending money on someone I care about. I agree with obiwan, I would always offer to pay and have the money to back up that offer, but am not abject if the girl wishes to pay (or at least I try on the latter).

[Urban Ranger]

One more thing - what's a date? A lad goes out with a lass and that's a date?

[Q Classic]

i like spoiling my gf when i can. she spoils me when she can. neither of us are rich--we're both college students.

money, while nice, shouldn't be a large factor in a relationship. if it is--if it becomes a source of friction, whether it's because one is unhappy about having to pay so much, or because the bills aren't being met, or anything... there's a problem.

in a good, working relationship, money is not a major concern.

[Brundlefly]

Originally posted by Dissident
Are there any clubs to meet smart women?

I think someone should open up a bar just for smart people. It would probably fail though. But it's a thought.

There's plenty of places to meet smart women. Think outside the box! The bookstore. The library. I once picked up a girl at the library just by commenting on what books she was browsing. She was looking at ballet books so I just walked up to her and asked if she was a dancer because of the way she stood and moved. She was flattered. I was in. I go to the library to do pickups because its a good place to meet chicks, period. Not because I'm looking for a smart chick, necessarily. I measure their intelligence by their chest size!

[MikeH]

I was just thinking about the box...

[Drogue]

Originally posted by Feephi
There's plenty of places to meet smart women. Think outside the box! The bookstore. The library. I once picked up a girl at the library just by commenting on what books she was browsing. She was looking at ballet books so I just walked up to her and asked if she was a dancer because of the way she stood and moved. She was flattered. I was in.

Nicely done How was she?

Originally posted by Feephi
I measure their intelligence by their chest size!

If only that weren't true.

[Solly]

I find the best thing is a free/cheap date, that way it doesn't really matter.

Who goes to a restaurant for a first date anyway..

[MikeH]

How many dates have you been on?

[Starchild]

I usually try to alternate. I'll pay for one meal out, he pays for the next one. Pricey meals may be split unless it's my birthday/religous holiday/weekday in that case he pays.

[Solly]

People don't date here do they. It's just drunken gropes in a club, something might happen if you both can remember it tomorrow.

[Japher]

meals may be split unless it's my birthday/religous holiday/weekday in that case he pays

Sounds like you got the better end of the deal there...

No, honey, it's Rasha Shana you need to pay for this one

But your not even Jewish

It's still a religious holiday!

[Starchild]

And most religous holidays fall on weekdays so I'm double covered.

So ParkAve, that would be 0 then, would it?

[Solly]

Not many, because I know enough to know that the best "dates" aren't ones you even organise ahead of time so can't call them a date anyway, even though they

[Provost Harrison]

...stopped mid-sentence...I wonder if Stew is slumped on his keyboard?

Well I acknowledge that I am not going to find the woman for me around this sh*thole, so I am working on other plans...

[Solly]

What about Julia?

[Elok]

Eh, if you started a bar for smart people it would attract a lot of pretentious artsy pseudo-euro-trash types and not much else. Have you tried coffeehouses? I don't like coffee so I avoid them, but the Starbucks scene seems to be pretty much the same thing as I described.

[Solly]

You find the best girls in the worst places for looking for girls in general. ie, think of the places people usually think of meeting girls, and then cross them off your list.

[Japher]

Most public places have doors that say "Women" on it. I find that if you hang around these doors long enough a lot of women go by... Just make sure to hit on them on the way out, or they get really antsy for some reason

[Solly]

Why wait outside?

[Japher]

They get mad

[Solly]

Girls piss in the gents anyway so who gives a bollock..

[Japher]

San Jose is way too Yuppie

[MikeH]

Girls do piss in the gents regularly here. Beats waiting for the queues in the ladies and the cubicles in the gents are usually free. Only some of them though.

[Brundlefly]

Originally posted by MikeH
Girls do piss in the gents regularly here. Beats waiting for the queues in the ladies and the cubicles in the gents are usually free. Only some of them though.

Does that go for all of Europe? Is the reverse true as well? My girlfriend and I were in a McDonalds in Paris last week and she was freaked out that a guy used the stall next to her in the ladies room (the mens room was locked).

[DanielXY]

Hm, paying on first-date...
usually the pay is split. I dont want the woman to get the idea Im her personal santa claus or something...

I personally like those first dates best, where you meet in some club ... all druged up and such ... some smiling ... dance closer and closer ... finally body contact ... some more body contact ... than the dispute where to go ... if you go to her she pays breakfast otherwise you do ...

[David Floyd]

I have no problem paying on a date. I usually insist on it. Well, "usually" is relative in the sense that a date isn't "usual" for me

[Combat Ingrid]

Originally posted by Feephi


Does that go for all of Europe? Is the reverse true as well? My girlfriend and I were in a McDonalds in Paris last week and she was freaked out that a guy used the stall next to her in the ladies room (the mens room was locked).

In Sweden, it's fairly common to not have separate toilets, most people don't bother too much when they are drunk anyway

EDIT: and in other places than pubs, it's slowly becoming a standard to not have it separately, it seems.

[Agathon]

Originally posted by Japher
Elok: Try domination/S&M; definitly wouldn't be any communication problems.