How do you know it's love?

Ben Kenobi · September 14, 2003, 01:00

With all these serious threads floating around, time for a lighter thread.

Shakespeare once said, and I agree.

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Berzerker · September 14, 2003, 02:01

When you'd die to save the one you "love"? I think the Bible says something like that...

Jon Miller · September 14, 2003, 02:42

hmm

common question

http://www.counterglow.com/forum/sho...threadid=15417

there is a good quote there

Jon Miller

Q Classic · September 14, 2003, 11:10

well, part of it is never having to say you're sorry, but wanting to because you know it's right.

Urban Ranger · September 14, 2003, 11:18

It is, when thoughts of her bring sunshine to a gloomy day.

It is, when you go to great lengths to cheer her up, just because you want to.

Q Classic · September 14, 2003, 11:20

also, wanting nothing but their happiness, and willing to stop at nothing in order to try and provide for it.

as to the bible: it also talks about bouncing gazelles in regards to love.

Urban Ranger · September 14, 2003, 12:16

When you stop thinking about "me" and start thinking about "us."

GePap · September 14, 2003, 12:19

Whent he moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie.

DanielXY · September 14, 2003, 14:36

So what about if you "feel" like thinking about us instead of me, but you are rational enough to know, the me is whats important ... the relationship could be over in a blink of an eye for all you can know for sure... realisticly seen most relationships (my guess is 98%) end at some point, despite the ones involved thought about it as if it would last forever... think about it, what makes you so special? ... there is no eternal love (ok maybe for a few blessed that also win in lotterys...) ...

hmmm I guess when you think like that you are not in love (or you should cut back on rational thinking (?) ...) ...

Kirnwaffen · September 14, 2003, 14:49

My favorite interpretation of Corinthians 13: something:

Love is patient, Love is kind,
It does not envy, it does not boast,
It is not proud, It is not rude,
It is not self-seeking,
It is not easily angered,
It keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil,
but rejoices with the truth.
Love always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends.
Love never fails.

Spiffor · September 14, 2003, 14:54

DanielXY:
I disagree. You can love in the meaning of caring for someone, of wishing her the best, and of acting to make her happy without self-interest or ego interfering. Being rational, and being aware all of this could stop does not hamper you of being in love.

Ecthy · September 14, 2003, 18:16

"I wonder why you sleep with me if you don't love me..." is what I was asked recently. I don't know what to reply, I'm not sure if I love her, but I am sure I want to sleep with her, so what should I tell her?

Kirnwaffen · September 14, 2003, 18:47

Well, if you want to keep sleeping with her, you'd best keep telling her you love her.

Immortal Wombat · September 14, 2003, 18:58

Quote:

Originally posted by Ecthelion
"I wonder why you sleep with me if you don't love me..." is what I was asked recently. I don't know what to reply, I'm not sure if I love her, but I am sure I want to sleep with her, so what should I tell her?

"You're stunningly beautiful, don't complain much, and never ask awkward questions about 'commitment' and 'the future'."

*End Is Forever* · September 14, 2003, 19:01

Dr Strangelove · September 14, 2003, 19:06

Quote:

Originally posted by Ben Kenobi
With all these serious threads floating around, time for a lighter thread.

Shakespeare once said, and I agree.

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Was this man a stalker?

Japher · September 14, 2003, 19:06

How do you know it's love?

When she tells you.

Drogue · September 14, 2003, 19:13

Quote:

Originally posted by Immortal Wombat
"You're stunningly beautiful, don't complain much, and never ask awkward questions about 'commitment' and 'the future'."

No, that's what you think, though might work. Just tell her that "Love is a special thing and you want to really be sure when you say it". Then be especially *affectionate* and see if she stops you

About the topic. I think love is different to different people. I think it's an emotion, a feeling, that cannot be put into words, and thus you cannot say to someone if what they feel is love. Although you are the only one who can say if you are in love, you may not be right either. If you look back on something, and still see it as love, having been older, wiser and removed from it, then it probably is. Love is a prime in itself, it cannot be further broken down in defintion.

I know I'm in love because there is no other way to describe it. The way I feel cannot be put into words, I could not describe it and I cannot explain it. I know what I feel is far more than a mere infatuation, and the thought of it as such makes me feel sick, as it goes nowhere towards describing the depth of feeling there. I feel the complete unselfishness, for want of a better phrase, as Berzerker put it in his first post, but that does not encapsulate my emotion. I also feel some sort of dependancy. My happiness, my feelings, are dependant on her, to a large extent.

Many describe love as unselfishness, where the person you love is put above you, and they matter more to you than you so to yourself. I see this as a sympton of love, not the definition itself. Yes, this is common for people who believe they are in love, however it does not fully define it. You could feel that but not be in love, and you could also feel love without that, IMHO.

Love is undefinable, as everyone means something different when they say it, when they mean and feel it. In truth, love is just a word, and you could convince yourself that anythign is love. However the concept of love, the emotion of love, the way it feels, is something that is different for everyone, and could not be communicated in words. Love is when the only word that describes the way you feel is love, when you cannot describe, in any way, the way you feel, without saying I love you.

st_swithin · September 14, 2003, 20:36

LOVE IN THE CITY

I've never been in love. I can say this with absolute assurance because I hate myself. How can you love someone else and have them love you back if you can't stand yourself? It becomes like a drug addiction, or chronic depression or insomnia - after a while, your body gets accustomed to it and it feels like it's been that way forever. Your brain gets stuck in a holding pattern. Sure, it's painful, but even getting beat up by an alcoholic parent on a daily basis loses its poignancy after enough repetitions. Scary movies get less and less scary with each viewing, until it becomes an exercise in analysis. Porn is much the same way.

I'm great at beating myself up: the reigning ChamPEEEEEN of the WOoooorld, as the saying goes. I can't even feel it anymore. My mom put it best the first time I got out of the hospital after a suicide attempt: "You can't even kill yourself right. You've failed at everything in your life, and now you can't even get suicide right." She was obviously disappointed. I have that effect on her. At least, I think to myself, I tried. What the **** have you done?

Urban Ranger · September 15, 2003, 00:28

Quote:

Originally posted by st_swithin
I've never been in love. I can say this with absolute assurance because I hate myself.

You do need professional help.

Berzerker · September 15, 2003, 01:22

Quote:

Sure, it's painful, but even getting beat up by an alcoholic parent on a daily basis loses its poignancy after enough repetitions.

Having grown up in such a situation (not every day though), the greater pain was being a child and listening to my older siblings getting beat up. I was once beat up for some perceived wrong and then immediately beat up again for bleeding on the old ratty couch where I had been getting beat up. I can

about it now though, the pain diminishes as the vividness of the memories gives way to time...

And people try to offer me rationalisations why pot should be illegal but not alcohol.

DaShi · September 15, 2003, 03:02

Quote:

Originally posted by Urban Ranger

You do need professional help.

Bloody hell! He's the only sane one among the lot of you.

FrustratedPoet · September 15, 2003, 04:47

Quote:

Originally posted by DaShi
He's the only sane one among the lot of you.

*snigger*

Ms. Swithin is going to love that.

Drake Tungsten · September 15, 2003, 04:59

Love is cryogenically freezing your dead spouse in a backyard freezer. Simple question, really.

FrostyBoy · September 15, 2003, 06:07

LOL, that's love mixed with an insane personality Drake!

But Love DOES exist and it DOES have a meaning, and the Bible defines it perfectly. (see above!)

If you're getting married, refer to Corinthians 13 and check that your personality isn't getting in the way of your reality of love for your partner, just to make sure that you do love her!

FrostyBoy · September 15, 2003, 06:10

or him!

Drake Tungsten · September 15, 2003, 06:50

Quote:

or him!

But only if you're a girl. Anything else would be a sin.

MikeH · September 15, 2003, 06:52

Quote:

Originally posted by Ecthelion
"I wonder why you sleep with me if you don't love me..." is what I was asked recently. I don't know what to reply, I'm not sure if I love her, but I am sure I want to sleep with her, so what should I tell her?

"I'm male."

Ecthy · September 15, 2003, 07:05

Mike

Ecthy · September 15, 2003, 07:10

should I:

a) tell her I love her despite not being sure

b) do what IW advised

c) do what that other guy advised I think it was Drogue, tell her love is so special and just get on with it

d) do something else (specify)