September 14, 2003, 03:53
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#1
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Emperor
Local Time: 20:43
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Mad.
Posts: 4,142
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Doglovers
Found this in an e-mail... thought it was pretty funny 
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Dear Dogs:
When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two dogs in the way.
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by Nascar and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs sleeping, they can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but doggy sarcasm.
My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years, canine attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dogs butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.
Rules for non pet owners who visit and like to complain about our pets.
1. The dog lives here. You don't.
2. If you don't want dog hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
3. I like my dog a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, she's a dog. To me, she's an adopted daughter who is short, hairy walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
5. Dogs are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell the pups.
The same applies to cats, except they ignore you until you are asleep
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September 14, 2003, 03:56
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#2
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PolyCast Thread Necromancer
Local Time: 08:43
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: We are all Asher now.
Posts: 1,437
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Doglovers are the scourge of the earth.
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September 14, 2003, 05:01
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#3
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Prince
Local Time: 08:43
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: of the Cookieville Minimum Security Orphanarium
Posts: 428
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Comrade Tassadar
Doglovers are the scourge of the earth.
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And believe me, we're damn proud of it.
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September 14, 2003, 05:50
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#4
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Local Time: 10:43
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: jihadding against Danish Feta
Posts: 6,182
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All hail COmrade Tassadar ! 
__________________
"I have been reading up on the universe and have come to the conclusion that the universe is a good thing." -- Dissident
"I never had the need to have a boner." -- Dissident
"I have never cut off my penis when I was upset over a girl." -- Dis
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September 14, 2003, 06:24
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#5
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Local Time: 19:43
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Skanky Father
Posts: 16,530
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.
__________________
I'm building a wagon! On some other part of the internets, obviously (but not that other site).
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September 14, 2003, 08:09
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#6
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Settler
Local Time: 08:43
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Swimming with the mermaids...
Posts: 0
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Awww! That is gorgeous! A dog could never look that cute!
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September 14, 2003, 08:39
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#7
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Local Time: 08:43
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Oxford or Northampton, England
Posts: 8,116
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Gorgeous, but that's a bit cruel to do to a kitten.
__________________
Smile
For though he was master of the world, he was not quite sure what to do next
But he would think of something
"Hm. I suppose I should get my waffle a santa hat." - Kuciwalker
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September 14, 2003, 08:42
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#8
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Local Time: 10:43
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jul 1999
Location: Gent, Belgium
Posts: 10,712
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How is it gonna get out? Pull it by its ears? 
__________________
Contraria sunt Complementa. -- Niels Bohr
Mods: SMAniaC (SMAC) & Planetfall (Civ4)
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September 14, 2003, 08:46
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#9
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Prince
Local Time: 08:43
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Please make all cheques payable to Whaleboy
Posts: 853
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That is so cute, and incredible sickening!
I'm opposed to the imprisonment of animals. Burn this thread!
__________________
"I work in IT so I'd be buggered without a computer" - Words of wisdom from Provost Harrison
"You can be wrong AND jewish" - Wiglaf :love:
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September 14, 2003, 08:48
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#10
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Settler
Local Time: 08:43
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Swimming with the mermaids...
Posts: 0
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Its not cruel! Kittens often climb into vases and big glasses...they always get out again (well, usually). Actually, maybe that is what happened to those 10 cats that were in that bloke's freezer...
__________________
Desperados of the world, unite. You have nothing to lose but your dignity.......
07849275180
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September 14, 2003, 09:20
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#11
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Local Time: 19:43
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Skanky Father
Posts: 16,530
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Its an experiment. I don't know where I'll be able to get a glass big enough for my g/f though.
__________________
I'm building a wagon! On some other part of the internets, obviously (but not that other site).
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September 14, 2003, 09:49
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#12
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King
Local Time: 08:43
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Go sneer at that cow creamer!
Posts: 1,305
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Cats have an uncanny ability to get out of things.
__________________
cIV list: cheats
Now watch this drive!
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September 14, 2003, 12:29
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#13
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Emperor
Local Time: 02:43
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: of the Big Apple
Posts: 4,109
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Too mamy cat lovers: when I finally get the ability to post pics, all of you will be swept aside by the omnipotent cuteness of Catalina! (the family Scottie)
__________________
If you don't like reality, change it! me
"Oh no! I am bested!" Drake :(
"it is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong" Voltaire
"Patriotism is a pernecious, psychopathic form of idiocy" George Bernard Shaw
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September 14, 2003, 12:34
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#14
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Emperor
Local Time: 04:43
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: New England
Posts: 3,572
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__________________
"mono has crazy flow and can rhyme words that shouldn't, like Eminem"
Drake Tungsten
"get contacts, get a haircut, get better clothes, and lose some weight"
Albert Speer
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September 14, 2003, 12:45
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#15
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Emperor
Local Time: 02:43
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: of the Big Apple
Posts: 4,109
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Is that supposed to be cute?
__________________
If you don't like reality, change it! me
"Oh no! I am bested!" Drake :(
"it is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong" Voltaire
"Patriotism is a pernecious, psychopathic form of idiocy" George Bernard Shaw
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September 14, 2003, 12:49
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#16
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Emperor
Local Time: 08:43
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Mu Mu Land
Posts: 6,570
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Yeah! Dog lovers unite! 
Cute e-mail.
I am reminded of a commercial where they show a dog hanging it's head out of the window and they say: "I will never ask to borrow the car as long as you rub me in the place that makes my leg do that thing..."
Dogs rock
But, yeah, the do like to be where ever you are, if you move they try to beat you to where you are going, they do think the bed is theres, they do get hair all over the place, they like to eat your food (as well as theirs, the cat's, and the fish's)...
Yet, ya still gotta love them, they always love you.
I am at work and I miss my dog right now
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September 14, 2003, 12:50
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#17
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Prince
Local Time: 08:43
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Please make all cheques payable to Whaleboy
Posts: 853
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Quote:
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Its not cruel! Kittens often climb into vases and big glasses
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I stand corrected. The question remains... why?
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Actually, maybe that is what happened to those 10 cats that were in that bloke's freezer...
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Not to mention his wife....
Dogs are ugly and smelly, and dangerous, and loud, and a nuisance. I challenge anyone to show me otherwise
__________________
"I work in IT so I'd be buggered without a computer" - Words of wisdom from Provost Harrison
"You can be wrong AND jewish" - Wiglaf :love:
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September 14, 2003, 12:55
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#18
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Emperor
Local Time: 08:43
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Mu Mu Land
Posts: 6,570
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Quote:
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ugly and smelly, and dangerous, and loud, and a nuisance
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but the eat cats, and that means they are kewl , like ALF...
Actually, if you spent any time with my dog your opinion would definitly change. I have a friends who use to feel the same way until he watched my dog for the weekend... He went out and got his own dog the next week... My dog rules.
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September 14, 2003, 12:58
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#19
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Prince
Local Time: 08:43
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Please make all cheques payable to Whaleboy
Posts: 853
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Quote:
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I don't know where I'll be able to get a glass big enough for my g/f though
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Is there something you're not telling us?
__________________
"I work in IT so I'd be buggered without a computer" - Words of wisdom from Provost Harrison
"You can be wrong AND jewish" - Wiglaf :love:
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September 14, 2003, 13:01
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#20
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Emperor
Local Time: 02:43
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: of the Big Apple
Posts: 4,109
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The mastercard commercial about life with a dog is a good companion to that e-mail.
When you can get cats to walk with you in the park (even if occasionally they decide to go chase dwn a squirrel) then they might begin to attempt to give Dog's some competition for the better pet category.
__________________
If you don't like reality, change it! me
"Oh no! I am bested!" Drake :(
"it is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong" Voltaire
"Patriotism is a pernecious, psychopathic form of idiocy" George Bernard Shaw
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September 14, 2003, 13:41
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#21
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Emperor
Local Time: 01:43
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: hippieland, CA
Posts: 3,781
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__________________
Visit First Cultural Industries
There are reasons why I believe mankind should live in cities and let nature reclaim all the villages with the exception of a few we keep on display as horrific reminders of rural life.-Starchild
Meat eating and the dominance and force projected over animals that is acompanies it is a gateway or parallel to other prejudiced beliefs such as classism, misogyny, and even racism. -General Ludd
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September 14, 2003, 14:53
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#22
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Settler
Local Time: 08:43
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: May 2003
Location: UChicago
Posts: 4
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September 14, 2003, 15:28
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#23
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Deity
Local Time: 01:43
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Las Vegas
Posts: 17,354
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show me a cat that can sniff out bombs
case closed!
__________________
Focus, discipline
Barack Obama- the antichrist
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September 14, 2003, 17:05
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#24
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Emperor
Local Time: 04:43
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Queens University, Kingston, Ontario
Posts: 3,183
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__________________
Proud Member of the ISDG Apolyton Team; Member #2 in the Apolyton Yact Club.
King of Trafalgar and Lord of all Isolationia in the Civ III PTW Glory of War team.
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May God Bless.
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September 14, 2003, 17:18
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#25
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Local Time: 03:43
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 6,135
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Quote:
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Forbidden
Due to the extreme body manipulations used in this example, and the high contrast between bodily fluids and white fur, the page /white.html may not be suitable for some visitors and requires special permission to view. For access to this page, please contact the Bonsai Kitten webmaster.
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September 14, 2003, 17:29
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#26
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Prince
Local Time: 09:43
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: in perpetuity
Posts: 4,962
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 genius
__________________
Concrete, Abstract, or Squoingy?
"I don't believe in giving scripting languages because the only additional power they give users is the power to create bugs." - Mike Breitkreutz, Firaxis
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September 15, 2003, 00:30
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#27
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Emperor
Local Time: 08:43
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Mu Mu Land
Posts: 6,570
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Can't we all just get along? 
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September 15, 2003, 00:39
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#28
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Prince
Local Time: 08:43
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: of the Cookieville Minimum Security Orphanarium
Posts: 428
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Forbidden Love
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September 15, 2003, 00:44
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#29
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Emperor
Local Time: 00:43
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: Batallón de San Patricio, United States of America
Posts: 3,696
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September 15, 2003, 00:57
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#30
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PolyCast Thread Necromancer
Local Time: 08:43
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: We are all Asher now.
Posts: 1,437
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