"Let the foul Deaf Spirits come OUT-tah...!"

DRoseDARs · September 28, 2003, 18:27

Ernest Angley

My stepdad told me stories about this televangelist's antics over the years, even has an audio tape of one of his sillier sermons ("Can you say, 'Bay-bee?' Say, 'Bay-bee...'). A few days ago he rediscovered the comedy...on satellite. The freak is still ministering at Grace Catheldral in Akron, Ohio and milking thousands of gullible dipsh!ts for all they're worth. Canadians too!

He "heals" deafness, headaches, congestion, spinal injuries, A.I.D.S., retardation, bad eating habits, emphasima (sp?), jet lag, insomnia, legs that fall asleep, having too much money in your wallet...the list goes on and on.

Why after 25 or so years has this man never seen the inside of a prison cell?

Inspirational Quote of the Day:

Quote:

GOD ACCUSES YOU OF BLOODLESS PRAYER

"To you preachers, God sent this message: I accuse you of bloodless prayer." Not praying through the blood is bloodless praying. Never pray any other way than through the blood. Praying through the blood gets results. All power is in the blood; when you say, In the blood name of Jesus I come, immediately you are before the throne of God. Don't try to get a prayer through to heaven unless it's covered with the blood.

The eyes of the LORD are upon the righteous, and his ears are open unto their cry (Psalm 34:15). God has perfect hearing; He hears you the moment you speak if you have a blood voice. What can wash away your sins? Nothing but the blood of Jesus. What can make you whole again? Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Praise the Holy Lord God JEE-zus!

SlowwHand · September 28, 2003, 18:35

This is the kind of whacko that pollutes people's minds against ALL religion, and he's just a huckster.

MrFun · September 28, 2003, 18:36

Like I always say, fundies and other extremists will never represent the mainstream of any religion.

Ben Kenobi · September 28, 2003, 19:51

Mr. Fun:

In what way is this man a 'Fundamentalist?'

I see nothing relying upon a literal interpretation of scripture.

As for prayers 'in the blood' that's nonsense. Jesus hears all prayers regardless of how they are given.

mrmitchell · September 28, 2003, 19:53

Quote:

As for prayers 'in the blood' that's nonsense. Jesus hears all prayers regardless of how they are given.

So if I prayed to him through precise vibrations of my wang that created inaudible sound waves in Morse code, would he hear me?

...At least, would he give me half credit for effort?

(no offense meant to anyone's religion

)

Dr Strangelove · September 28, 2003, 19:55

What the heck is a blood prayer anyway?

Kuciwalker · September 28, 2003, 19:55

Quote:

Originally posted by Ben Kenobi
Mr. Fun:

In what way is this man a 'Fundamentalist?'

I see nothing relying upon a literal interpretation of scripture.

As for prayers 'in the blood' that's nonsense. Jesus hears all prayers regardless of how they are given.

What if Jesus becomes deaf from all of the noise

Ben Kenobi · September 28, 2003, 20:01

Quote:

What if Jesus becomes deaf from all of the noise

Who says that he hears in the same way we do?

Quote:

So if I prayed to him through precise vibrations of my wang that created inaudible sound waves in Morse code, would he hear me?

...At least, would he give me half credit for effort?

Jiggling your w*ng requires effort for you?

Kuciwalker · September 28, 2003, 20:02

Quote:

Who says that he hears in the same way we do?

Quote:

Ben Kenobi · September 28, 2003, 20:04

Eh, two birds with one stone.

Theben · September 28, 2003, 20:50

"Don't try to get a prayer through to heaven unless it's covered with the blood."

This explains a lot of wars.

MrFun · September 28, 2003, 20:59

Quote:

Originally posted by Ben Kenobi
Mr. Fun:

In what way is this man a 'Fundamentalist?'

I see nothing relying upon a literal interpretation of scripture.

As for prayers 'in the blood' that's nonsense. Jesus hears all prayers regardless of how they are given.

No this is probably not a case of fundies -- but they are still extremists, and I mentioned extremists in my post, in addition to fundies.

DRoseDARs · September 28, 2003, 21:39

Would ya'll like a link? Methinkso...

http://www.ernestangley.org/

The 'blood prayer' stuff can be found here:
Read Online->Magazines->2000->"Heaven Does Not Recognize A Bloodles Gospel" (October)

I was going to quip about crusades and swimming in the blood of thine enemies, amen, but this actually isn't what he meant (I think...nay, I hope...). Those wafers that some denomination eats are refered to as "the body of Christ," doesn't mean you're eating Him out. Red wine is "the blood of Christ," doesn't make you a vampire. Blood prayer seems to be along similar metaphoric lines.

If red wine is the blood of Christ and only through blood prayer will Jesus hear you, I'm guessing Ernest ("Hey Vern...!") wants us to pray only when we are incapable-of-coherent-thought drunk.

Urban Ranger · September 28, 2003, 23:21

Quote:

Originally posted by Ben Kenobi
In what way is this man a 'Fundamentalist?'

I see nothing relying upon a literal interpretation of scripture.

Faith healing is by definition fundamentalist behaviour.

Nubclear · September 29, 2003, 02:51

Always increase criticism of the illegal organization of Falun Gong to the highest level!!!!!

Ben Kenobi · September 29, 2003, 02:56

Quote:

Faith healing is by definition fundamentalist behaviour.

The only Christian that I know who has witnessed faith healing is a Catholic.

Faith healing has nothing to do with the strict sense of Fundamentalism, since it is a gift given freely to certain Christians regardless of the denomination.

Rufus T. Firefly · September 29, 2003, 06:15

Omigod, I LOVE Ernest Angley. I watched him all the time as a kid, laughing my ass off as my Catholic parents worried about the pernicious influence of nutball Protestantism. I had completely forgotten about him until now. Thank you, thank you, thank you.