Secret Police Recruitment

Hercules · October 8, 2003, 07:24

Secret Police Recruitment

Members wanted to join secret police. Good rates of ecs, Nice work,Lots of free time. Help influence the development of the police state. Bonuses. Career prospects. Vacation/Holidays. ehh Retirement plan

Skill requirements.

Skill with recycling plant mechanics. Firearms ability 'Gun' at minimum, training given. Ability to bug rooms, telephones etc but training given to suitable candidates. Ability to be discreet. Lurkers welcome. Some familiarity with various torture techniques desirable and nerve stapling ability essential.

Enthusiam to seek out anti leadership elements.

If interested send PM or email.

Do Not post your interest in this thread for obvious reasons.

Jamski · October 8, 2003, 16:49

Could I be the friendly public face of the secret police, and deny that there were any nervestaplings occurring on the night of the 25th and anyway noone was there to hear the screams and I didn't say that, and you'll keep your mouth shut if you know what's good for you, I know where your children go to school, I know everything about you, that is to say, that I would know everything about you IF there was such a thing as a secret police but obviously there's not is there, I hope you have a nice day Comrade, don't stand too near any machinery now...

-Jam

jtsisyoda · October 8, 2003, 20:52

Seeing how every citizen should be on the lookout for unhiverian actions, aren't we all part of the police force? Why does it have to be secret? Doesn't everybody know by now that family members have an obligation to report them if they stray from the Hive doctrine?

Hercules · October 8, 2003, 22:16

Can I just report ~~we have been inundated with applications~~ that it has been a quite day at the office, if we had an office.

And yes Comrade jtsisyoda of course you can send in your reports or just talk to the lampshade in the loo if you find it easier.

Comrade Jamski, Yes you are right we do need that friendly public face.
Heh I remember your famed treatment of the former Hiverian Frankychin in the HQ laundrymat washing machine. They don't call you a spin doctor for nothing.

Jamski · October 9, 2003, 05:19

Heh, Frankychan certainly cleaned up his act, eh? You'd be surprised what can come out in the wash.

-Jam

Hercules · October 9, 2003, 06:22

And then he gave us a clean pair of heels

Hercules · October 9, 2003, 21:27

I am sure you (addressing new Secret police recruits) are all familar with the workings of the recycling tank, but just in case you haven't 'disappeared' someone for a while, here is the starting procedure from the manual.

" You put the right foot in, the right foot out, the right foot in and you shake it all about...................". you may sing if conditions permit.

Another lesson tomorrow.

Don't forget to report unhiverian activity from family members, its your contribution.

Hercules · October 10, 2003, 17:38

Report to Chairman and General secretary:

Comrades we have compiled information on close to 70% of the population and have their DNA profiles. Obviously there is still work to do. Recent advances have resulted in the arrest of some comrades for 'errors' prior to their being part of this Chiron adventure.

jtsisyoda · October 12, 2003, 09:17

Greetings from your friendly neighborhood ~~shameless narc~~ not very secret policeman. Just following up on a report I delivered to the lampshade, regarding my mother and her unhiverian attitude this morning. Has she been picked up from the coffee shop as I suggested? Otherwise she'll be back soon and she might make me do chores instead of ~~searching the neighbor's house for copies of a rumored underground newspaper~~ babysitting the neighbor's kids.

Hercules · October 12, 2003, 09:57

Special undercover patrol on way to coffee shop. Btw what she look like so as we don't pick up the wrong mother.

Maniac · October 12, 2003, 19:41

Quote:

Report to Chairman and General secretary:

Thanks for the update Director! Your efforts will be rewarded ~~by a gunshot in the head~~ by a seat in the Politburo!

jtsisyoda · October 12, 2003, 22:33

Herc, your goons will know my mother by the silver bracelet I gave her last mother's day. It's quite striking, actually. Can't miss it.

GeneralTacticus · October 13, 2003, 02:59

Quote:

Originally posted by Hercules
Report to Chairman and General secretary:

Comrades we have compiled information on close to 70% of the population and have their DNA profiles. Obviously there is still work to do. Recent advances have resulted in the arrest of some comrades for 'errors' prior to their being part of this Chiron adventure.

Good job. Keep working on it; we need police files on every citizen in the Hive.

Phenix · October 15, 2003, 14:26

When we research Information (or maybe Planetary will be needed) Networks, I propose beginning the construction of a total network of secutirty cameras and microphones reaching the entire Hiverian faction.

Vander · October 15, 2003, 16:32

We already heard this idea. You were talking about it with your wife this morning.....
You forgot to use the outer fork first, by the way...

Jamski · October 16, 2003, 06:02

Silly Vander

If you'd reveiwed the tapes properly you'd know that she's not his wife

-Jam

Phenix · October 16, 2003, 11:00

Quote:

Originally posted by Vander
We already heard this idea. You were talking about it with your wife this morning.....
You forgot to use the outer fork first, by the way...

Well, what can i say...At least etiquette is irrelevant to the glory of the Hive

Hercules · October 16, 2003, 11:39

Well we (the HIve ) may be awkward wth the forks but we certainly know how to use the knives.

Vander · October 16, 2003, 15:36

MAY THE KNIFE THAT IS THE HIVE CUT AWAY AT THE FAT OF HUMANITY THAT IS DEMOCRACY!!!! GLORY TO THE HIVE!!!

At least I know proper etiquette.....

Hercules · October 16, 2003, 17:47

The PSGSP lesson 2

Some video tape operatives seem to have difficulty identifying who's who.

These three are Phenix's ~~mistresses~~ close combat weapons instructresses. Study closely, do not confuse them, Of course we have more photos in another file of a ~~compromising~~ artistic nature.

Snowflake · October 16, 2003, 17:56

It is really easy to be confused when the three photos are contained in similar folders all marked with red crosses.

Jamski · October 17, 2003, 09:57

Its the secret police after all - did you expect the files would be on public display?

-Jam

Snowflake · October 17, 2003, 10:22

/me wanders in Hercules' Office, pondering whether she should go ask the inspector to clear her doubt. ... Hmmm What is that on the table? A thick folder marked "The Black Book". She saw a piece of paper that was about to fall out from the folder.

...mski played a suspicious part in the military coup
... the Unity landing when Sheng-ji Yang and
...mportortant officials were sabotaged.

...tes natural leadership abilities, with
... control. Can be quite ruthless
... seldom counting personal
... and energy. Tendency
... order to achieve his

/me quickly wanders out.

Hercules · October 17, 2003, 23:51

Camera clicks and records Honghu's brief visit to Hercule's Office.

Hercules returns and places ****mski's folder back in the filing cabinet

Not what I would have done for the anniversity he pondered, still each to his own.

Maniac · October 18, 2003, 12:02

Should I include a link in the KGB Archives to this thread as the Secret Police HQ?

Hercules · October 18, 2003, 17:05

Sounds sensible