October 12, 2003, 17:41
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#1
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Emperor
Local Time: 11:26
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Howling at the moon
Posts: 4,421
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The effect of old age on intimate male bodily parts
I have just sat on my testicles. Ow, etc.
What worries me most is that fact that as one gets older, things start heading south. If they swing lower, the risk must increase.
This forum's got plenty of old gits, so here's my query. Is this event one I must start viewing with an air of dreary inevitability?
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October 12, 2003, 17:44
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#2
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Local Time: 10:26
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Oxford or Northampton, England
Posts: 8,116
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 Ouch! I * really* hope not  
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Smile
For though he was master of the world, he was not quite sure what to do next
But he would think of something
"Hm. I suppose I should get my waffle a santa hat." - Kuciwalker
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October 12, 2003, 17:46
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#3
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Prince
Local Time: 10:26
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Tory Party of 'Poly
Posts: 523
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its ok, by the time you are old, your wife should have cut them off
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eimi men anthropos pollon logon, mikras de sophias
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October 12, 2003, 17:46
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#4
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Emperor
Local Time: 11:26
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Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: a raving alcoholic drama queen with a penchant for the biosciences
Posts: 3,646
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My plan of freezing myself at 30 until old age and death are cured sounds better and better.
__________________
Exult in your existence, because that very process has blundered unwittingly on its own negation. Only a small, local negation, to be sure: only one species, and only a minority of that species; but there lies hope. [...] Stand tall, Bipedal Ape. The shark may outswim you, the cheetah outrun you, the swift outfly you, the capuchin outclimb you, the elephant outpower you, the redwood outlast you. But you have the biggest gifts of all: the gift of understanding the ruthlessly cruel process that gave us all existence [and the] gift of revulsion against its implications.
-Richard Dawkins
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October 12, 2003, 17:55
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#5
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Deity
Local Time: 03:26
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Las Vegas
Posts: 17,354
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you must have really long testicles
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Focus, discipline
Barack Obama- the antichrist
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October 12, 2003, 17:56
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#6
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Emperor
Local Time: 02:26
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Location: Batallón de San Patricio, United States of America
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Sometimes mine is so long I have to put a shoe on it 
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"Let the People know the facts and the country will be saved." Abraham Lincoln
Mis Novias
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October 12, 2003, 17:59
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#7
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Emperor
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Location: All Glory To The Hypnotoad!
Posts: 4,223
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Do you only have one, Ted?
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If I'm posting here then Counterglow must be down.
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October 12, 2003, 18:00
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#8
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Prince
Local Time: 11:26
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Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: in perpetuity
Posts: 4,962
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*starts whistling morale-boosting song*
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Concrete, Abstract, or Squoingy?
"I don't believe in giving scripting languages because the only additional power they give users is the power to create bugs." - Mike Breitkreutz, Firaxis
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October 12, 2003, 18:33
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#9
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Emperor
Local Time: 05:26
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I older, but I am part, and they cannot get around far enough to get under my but. They get chafed often enough, however.
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Gaius Mucius Scaevola Sinistra
Japher: "crap, did I just post in this thread?"
"Bloody hell, Lefty.....number one in my list of persons I have no intention of annoying, ever." Bugs ****ing Bunny
From a 6th grader who readily adpated to internet culture: "Pay attention now, because your opinions suck"
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October 12, 2003, 18:37
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#10
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Emperor
Local Time: 13:26
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Xrr ZRRRRRRR!!
Posts: 6,484
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my testicles are the best on Apolyton, hands down!
__________________
In da butt.
"Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others." - Confucius
THE UNDEFEATED SUPERCITIZEN w:4 t:2 l:1 (DON'T ASK!)
"God is dead" - Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" - God.
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October 12, 2003, 18:37
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#11
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Emperor
Local Time: 12:26
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Laz, just one of the sad facts of life I'm afraid. No more tight jeans for us anymore
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Within weeks they'll be re-opening the shipyards
And notifying the next of kin
Once again...
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October 12, 2003, 18:40
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#12
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King
Local Time: 03:26
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My dear departed cat seemed to have incredible accuracy when stepping on to my lap, but I'm sure the larger target area had some impact on this tendency.
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He's got the Midas touch.
But he touched it too much!
Hey Goldmember, Hey Goldmember!
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October 12, 2003, 18:50
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#13
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Deity
Local Time: 05:26
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: Republic of Texas
Posts: 27,637
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When I first glimpsed the title, I thought it said "inanimate".
Same thing, I guess.
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Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
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October 12, 2003, 19:03
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#14
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Prince
Local Time: 11:26
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Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: of the Spion Kop
Posts: 861
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Starchild
My plan of freezing myself at 30 until old age and death are cured sounds better and better.
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It's the height of hubris to assume people in the future would consider you worth thawing
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October 12, 2003, 19:25
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#15
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Emperor
Local Time: 05:26
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Join Date: Apr 1999
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did you know it only takes seven pounds per square inch to crush a testicle?
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B♭3
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October 12, 2003, 19:28
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#16
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Prince
Local Time: 11:26
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Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: of the Spion Kop
Posts: 861
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Q Cubed
did you know it only takes seven pounds per square inch to crush a testicle?
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thats still 700 PSI for my babies 
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October 12, 2003, 19:29
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#17
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King
Local Time: 12:26
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: Belgium, land of plenty (corruption)
Posts: 2,647
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Q Cubed
did you know it only takes seven pounds per square inch to crush a testicle?
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please don't make me even think about that
__________________
"An archaeologist is the best husband a women can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her." - Agatha Christie
"Non mortem timemus, sed cogitationem mortis." - Seneca
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October 12, 2003, 19:33
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#18
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Emperor
Local Time: 05:26
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yeah, there was this lawsuit filed once in the states. don't remember where, but this guy sat on the loo, only to have part of it break and crush his testiclites.
obviously, he wasn't too happy.
__________________
B♭3
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October 12, 2003, 19:35
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#19
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Emperor
Local Time: 13:26
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Join Date: Feb 2002
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Posts: 6,484
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omg that's horrible accident..
__________________
In da butt.
"Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others." - Confucius
THE UNDEFEATED SUPERCITIZEN w:4 t:2 l:1 (DON'T ASK!)
"God is dead" - Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" - God.
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October 12, 2003, 19:42
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#20
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Emperor
Local Time: 05:26
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: The cities of Orly and Nowai
Posts: 4,228
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so, laz, aren't you glad you aren't that poor sap?
__________________
B♭3
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October 12, 2003, 20:46
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#21
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Deity
Local Time: 20:26
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: In a tunnel under the DMZ
Posts: 12,273
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Quote:
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Originally posted by The Andy-Man
its ok, by the time you are old, your wife should have cut them off
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I'm getting pressure in that direction.
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October 12, 2003, 21:04
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#22
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Emperor
Local Time: 02:26
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: Batallón de San Patricio, United States of America
Posts: 3,696
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Q Cubed
yeah, there was this lawsuit filed once in the states. don't remember where, but this guy sat on the loo, only to have part of it break and crush his testiclites.
obviously, he wasn't too happy.
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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
*ted falls on the floor and rolls around in agony*
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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October 12, 2003, 21:24
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#23
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King
Local Time: 10:26
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: Gone Fishin, Canada
Posts: 1,059
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Quote:
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Immortal Wombat
*starts whistling morale-boosting song*
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Odds are that I'm the only one who got that one IW.
http://www.squaddiesongs.com/songs/hitleroneball.html
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October 12, 2003, 21:26
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#24
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Deity
Local Time: 03:26
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Las Vegas
Posts: 17,354
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I have a problem sitting on my penis though. It is so long and huge it just gets in the way
__________________
Focus, discipline
Barack Obama- the antichrist
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October 12, 2003, 21:32
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#25
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Deity
Local Time: 20:26
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: In a tunnel under the DMZ
Posts: 12,273
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That's because you're tiny.
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October 13, 2003, 00:40
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#26
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Deity
Local Time: 18:26
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: May 1999
Location: The City State of Noosphere, CPA special envoy
Posts: 14,606
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Q Cubed
yeah, there was this lawsuit filed once in the states. don't remember where, but this guy sat on the loo, only to have part of it break and crush his testiclites.
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*cringe* *shiver*
__________________
(\__/) 07/07/1937 - Never forget
(='.'=) "Claims demand evidence; extraordinary claims demand extraordinary evidence." -- Carl Sagan
(")_(") "Starting the fire from within."
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October 13, 2003, 00:47
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#27
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Emperor
Local Time: 05:26
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Illinois
Posts: 8,595
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Quote:
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Originally posted by SlowwHand
When I first glimpsed the title, I thought it said "inanimate".
Same thing, I guess.
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__________________
STFU and then GTFO!
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October 13, 2003, 01:23
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#28
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Emperor
Local Time: 06:26
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Join Date: Sep 1999
Posts: 3,361
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This is definately funny.
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October 13, 2003, 02:00
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#29
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Emperor
Local Time: 22:26
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Mad.
Posts: 4,142
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Immortal Wombat
*starts whistling morale-boosting song*
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October 13, 2003, 02:09
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#30
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King
Local Time: 04:26
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: United States of America
Posts: 2,306
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Re: The effect of old age on intimate male bodily parts
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
I have just sat on my testicles. Ow, etc.
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I just damn near choked on my beef jerky while reading that.
__________________
"I may not agree with what you have to say, but I'll die defending your right to say it." — Voltaire
"Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart." — Confucius
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