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View Poll Results: Whose fault is everything?
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Al-Qaeda
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5 |
9.43% |
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Child Molesters
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0 |
0% |
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Christian Coalition
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2 |
3.77% |
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Communism
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5 |
9.43% |
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Conservatives
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4 |
7.55% |
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Corporate Fat Cats
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9 |
16.98% |
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Hidden Homosexual Agenda
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1 |
1.89% |
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Illegal Immigrants
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3 |
5.66% |
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Illuminati
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3 |
5.66% |
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Jewish Conspiracy Controlling Hollywood
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1 |
1.89% |
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Ku Klux Klan
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0 |
0% |
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Liberals
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4 |
7.55% |
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Nation of Islam
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0 |
0% |
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Nazis
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0 |
0% |
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Planned Parenthood
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0 |
0% |
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Reality Television
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1 |
1.89% |
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Roman Catholic Church
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3 |
5.66% |
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Satanism
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0 |
0% |
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Saucer People
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1 |
1.89% |
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Snuggle Bear
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2 |
3.77% |
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Teamsters
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0 |
0% |
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Other (please specify below)
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6 |
11.32% |
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Banana
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3 |
5.66% |
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October 14, 2003, 07:56
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#1
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Emperor
Local Time: 06:32
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Having tea with the Third Man...
Posts: 6,169
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The 2003 "Scapies"
"We must hang together, gentleman, or we shall most assuredly all hang separately."
Ben Franklin said that. I look around Apolyton recently, and I notice that a number of us are blaming major societal failures on groups with limited power. Some of us blame the G.O.P., others "liberals," still others the K.K.K. Still others make an empty gesture and blame "society" in general. I am of the opinion that this is frankly unacceptable.
We live in a fast-moving world. We don't have time to bicker endlessly over which special interests are secretly acting towards the downfall of human civilization. I think we all know that only one of these groups really has the influence to crush our lives under its fist like the insignificant gnats we are. We need to come to a consensus here. To that end, I'm forming the possibly annual Scapegoat Awards, depending on how quickly the mods shoot this down as a troll, which it isn't. It's more of a joke.
Global warming, the drug traffic, the continued existence of slavery, our continued inability to fly to the moon by flapping our arms-it's all somebody's fault. Make your voice heard today!
__________________
"May I be forgiven for the ills that I have done/Friends I have forsaken and strangers I have shunned/Sins I have committed, for which others had to pay/And I haven't met the whiskey that can wash those stains away."
-Brady's Leap, "Wash."
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October 14, 2003, 08:07
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#2
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King
Local Time: 12:32
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: of genial epicuri
Posts: 1,570
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Theres no Bush-option!? What is this?
__________________
Que l’Univers n’est qu’un défaut dans la pureté de Non-être.
- Paul Valery
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October 14, 2003, 08:10
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#3
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Emperor
Local Time: 12:32
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Mar 2000
Posts: 8,278
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It´s the OTHER`S fault! Alwaaaaays!!!
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Banana
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October 14, 2003, 08:12
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#4
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Emperor
Local Time: 06:32
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Having tea with the Third Man...
Posts: 6,169
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Consider him a subsection of "conservative" for the purposes of this poll. I know there's some argument over whether Dubya's truly "conservative," but we're looking for a unified sense of finger-pointing here, not an intelligent debate, so it doesn't matter.
There's a 24-option limit, so I had to narrow it down to major contenders, of which there are many. I'd like it if I could have subcategories like the Emmies-"most malevolent political power," "most dangerous minority," etc., but I'm limited by technology here.
__________________
"May I be forgiven for the ills that I have done/Friends I have forsaken and strangers I have shunned/Sins I have committed, for which others had to pay/And I haven't met the whiskey that can wash those stains away."
-Brady's Leap, "Wash."
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October 14, 2003, 08:12
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#5
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Deity
Local Time: 04:32
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 11,289
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You missed the most often used and TRUE source of EVERYTHING wrong in the world.
Everything bad in human civilization can be traced back to an act of Congress...................
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October 14, 2003, 10:04
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#6
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Deity
Local Time: 18:32
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: May 1999
Location: The City State of Noosphere, CPA special envoy
Posts: 14,606
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It's Skanky's fault, dammit! 
__________________
(\__/) 07/07/1937 - Never forget
(='.'=) "Claims demand evidence; extraordinary claims demand extraordinary evidence." -- Carl Sagan
(")_(") "Starting the fire from within."
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October 14, 2003, 10:47
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#7
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Emperor
Local Time: 10:32
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: The Taste of Japan
Posts: 9,611
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Oh, here comes the Fat Cat bashing.
__________________
“As a lifelong member of the Columbia Business School community, I adhere to the principles of truth, integrity, and respect. I will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.”
Civ V Civilization V Civ5 CivV Civilization 5 Civ 5 - Do your part!
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October 14, 2003, 10:51
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#8
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Local Time: 21:32
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Skanky Father
Posts: 16,530
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And here I was hoping to escape these awards.
__________________
I'm building a wagon! On some other part of the internets, obviously (but not that other site).
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October 14, 2003, 11:01
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#9
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Emperor
Local Time: 11:32
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: of home-made blueberry muffins
Posts: 7,200
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Come on people. Vote "Other" for Skanky! The candidate of choice. The thinking woman's scapegoat.
Join the Burns Unit. Skank along with us!
Come to the Skanky rally.  
Bring a friend, bring your partner, but don't forget to bring something you can blame on Skanky!
__________________
"When we grow up we'll both be soldiers, and our horses will not be toys,
And I wonder if we'll remember when we were two little boys!"
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October 14, 2003, 11:36
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#10
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Deity
Local Time: 06:32
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: Not your daddy's Benjamins
Posts: 10,737
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What about M$?
__________________
I came upon a barroom full of bad Salon pictures in which men with hats on the backs of their heads were wolfing food from a counter. It was the institution of the "free lunch" I had struck. You paid for a drink and got as much as you wanted to eat. For something less than a rupee a day a man can feed himself sumptuously in San Francisco, even though he be a bankrupt. Remember this if ever you are stranded in these parts. ~ Rudyard Kipling, 1891
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October 14, 2003, 11:45
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#11
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Deity
Local Time: 03:32
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: In a bamboo forest hiding from Dale.
Posts: 17,436
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BLAME CANADA!
__________________
Christianity is the belief in a cosmic Jewish zombie who can give us eternal life if we symbolically eat his flesh and blood and telepathically tell him that we accept him as our lord and master so he can remove an evil force present in all humanity because a woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from an apple tree.
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October 14, 2003, 12:35
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#12
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King
Local Time: 06:32
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jul 1999
Location: of Meridian Hill, Washington D.C.
Posts: 1,383
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You forgot "The Faaaaabulous Pink Mafia"
__________________
R.I.P George Alexandru 9/8/07
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October 14, 2003, 13:19
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#13
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Emperor
Local Time: 06:32
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Having tea with the Third Man...
Posts: 6,169
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I'm afraid Canada is too implausibly weak even for a scapegoat. Any country that likes curling is intrinsically too weak to shape the flow of world events. An actual goat might be believable; they can ram things and eat cans. All Canada can do is threaten to raise the price of maple syrup and beaver fur. They went out of business as a world power with the rise of Hungry Jack and PETA.
But you're right that Microsoft should have been on there. I was trying to cover a wide range of frequent blametakers, but I think I overemphasized conservative phobias. Sorry, guys.
__________________
"May I be forgiven for the ills that I have done/Friends I have forsaken and strangers I have shunned/Sins I have committed, for which others had to pay/And I haven't met the whiskey that can wash those stains away."
-Brady's Leap, "Wash."
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October 14, 2003, 13:33
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#14
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King
Local Time: 11:32
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: AUERSTADT
Posts: 1,757
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The mods also have a huge responsibility on the poor state of the world since they prevent consistently enlightened people to express long awaited brilliant solutions.
__________________
Statistical anomaly.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
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October 14, 2003, 13:39
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#15
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Deity
Local Time: 05:32
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: Republic of Texas
Posts: 27,637
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This is a retarded question.
All isn't because of one.
__________________
Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
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October 14, 2003, 13:42
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#16
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Prince
Local Time: 11:32
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: in perpetuity
Posts: 4,962
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It depends if you believe Genesis 1 or not.
If you do, then it all went wrong when God said "Adam, this is Eve."
If you don't, then it all went wrong when a fish flopped onto the land and forgot to die.
__________________
Concrete, Abstract, or Squoingy?
"I don't believe in giving scripting languages because the only additional power they give users is the power to create bugs." - Mike Breitkreutz, Firaxis
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October 14, 2003, 14:19
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#17
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King
Local Time: 11:32
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Dilbert
Posts: 1,839
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What about the Black Gay Jewish Conspiracy? Everything bad in this world can be traced back to them and their black, homosexual, Zionist bias.
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October 14, 2003, 15:07
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#18
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Emperor
Local Time: 06:32
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Having tea with the Third Man...
Posts: 6,169
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Quote:
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Originally posted by SlowwHand
This is a retarded question.
All isn't because of one.
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Well, yes. That's why I wrote, "this is a joke" inside the first post. I don't yearn for Mingapulco so badly that I would seriously suggest that Jews and Homosexuals are responsible for all our problems.
__________________
"May I be forgiven for the ills that I have done/Friends I have forsaken and strangers I have shunned/Sins I have committed, for which others had to pay/And I haven't met the whiskey that can wash those stains away."
-Brady's Leap, "Wash."
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October 14, 2003, 20:35
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#19
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Local Time: 06:32
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: In search of pants
Posts: 5,085
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Christian Coalition. Muslim, Hindu, and Conservative craziness doesn't affect me as much. 
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October 15, 2003, 14:28
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#20
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King
Local Time: 12:32
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Madrid, Spain
Posts: 1,221
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I agree. The others are always guilty of everything! 
__________________
"Never trust a man who puts your profit before his own profit." - Grand Nagus Zek, Star Trek Deep Space Nine, episode 11
"A communist is someone who has read Marx and Lenin. An anticommunist is someone who has understood Marx and Lenin." - Ronald Reagan (1911-2004)
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October 15, 2003, 20:35
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#21
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Deity
Local Time: 03:32
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Las Vegas
Posts: 17,354
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the GOP isn't a small group with limited power
they have too much power
__________________
Focus, discipline
Barack Obama- the antichrist
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October 15, 2003, 22:21
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#22
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Emperor
Local Time: 06:32
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Having tea with the Third Man...
Posts: 6,169
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Yes, but the question before us is, can we blame EVERYTHING, up to and including meteors and the continuing ugliness of the fashion industry's offerings, on a GOP conspiracy, while keeping a straight face?
We need a scapegoat of sizable magnitude here, who at the same time is not obviously criminal enough to be actually convicted or removed, so that we have a reliable and unchanging excuse for refusing to implement meaningful societal changes on our own initiative.
__________________
"May I be forgiven for the ills that I have done/Friends I have forsaken and strangers I have shunned/Sins I have committed, for which others had to pay/And I haven't met the whiskey that can wash those stains away."
-Brady's Leap, "Wash."
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October 15, 2003, 22:24
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#23
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Deity
Local Time: 03:32
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Las Vegas
Posts: 17,354
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the alignment of the planets has been blamed for an aweful alot as well.
__________________
Focus, discipline
Barack Obama- the antichrist
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October 15, 2003, 22:27
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#24
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Warlord
Local Time: 04:32
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Boulder, CO
Posts: 281
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The liberals because they have no backbone, and the conservatives because they have too much.
__________________
"Beauty is not in the face...Beauty is a light in the heart." - Kahlil Gibran
"The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves" - Victor Hugo
"It is noble to be good; it is still nobler to teach others to be good -- and less trouble." - Mark Twain
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October 15, 2003, 22:36
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#25
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Emperor
Local Time: 05:32
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 18,269
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Yes, the Hidden Homosexual Agenda is to blame for the decline of families and of virtue in this fallen nation of Canada.
__________________
Scouse Git (2) LaFayette and Adam Smith you will be missed
"All my own perception of beauty both in majesty and simplicity is founded upon Our Lady." - JRR Tolkein
Get busy living or get busy dying.
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October 16, 2003, 08:41
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#26
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Emperor
Local Time: 06:32
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Having tea with the Third Man...
Posts: 6,169
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Obviously MrFun hasn't seen this yet, or it'd have two votes.
__________________
"May I be forgiven for the ills that I have done/Friends I have forsaken and strangers I have shunned/Sins I have committed, for which others had to pay/And I haven't met the whiskey that can wash those stains away."
-Brady's Leap, "Wash."
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October 16, 2003, 08:57
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#27
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Emperor
Local Time: 12:32
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: CLOWNS WIT DA DOWNS 4 LIFE YO!
Posts: 5,301
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Haven't you learned anything yet?
Everything bad that happens in the world is caused by Clinton's penis. Clinton's penis makes babies cry and animals suffer. It causes acid rain in Germany and typhoons in South Pacific. Osama worships at the altar of Clinton's penis and Kim Jong-Il aspires to be as big a **** as Clinton's penis is. Clinton's penis has thus far caused Pearl Harbor, Kennedy's assasination, the Bhopal disaster, the Challenger explosion and 9/11. (Not Chernobyl, though, that was caused by Tony Blair's left earlobe.) Clinton's penis is a rod of godly might, a towering powermower, and if we don't sacrifice fair large-haired virgins to it, it will erupt and cover us all with it's red-hot lava.
FEAR AND QUAKE!
__________________
"Spirit merges with matter to sanctify the universe. Matter transcends to return to spirit. The interchangeability of matter and spirit means the starlit magic of the outermost life of our universe becomes the soul-light magic of the innermost life of our self." - Dennis Kucinich, candidate for the U. S. presidency
"That’s the future of the Democratic Party: providing Republicans with a number of cute (but not that bright) comfort women." - Adam Yoshida, Canada's gift to the world
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October 16, 2003, 09:09
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#28
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Emperor
Local Time: 05:32
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: The cities of Orly and Nowai
Posts: 4,228
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so clinton's got a huge schlong? is that what this administration's about then? compensation?
__________________
B♭3
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October 17, 2003, 09:49
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#29
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Emperor
Local Time: 06:32
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Having tea with the Third Man...
Posts: 6,169
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Oh, to hell with it. Having read Stefu's post, I conclude that the moral thing to do is just blame everything on the Finns. Otherwise it would be Fat Cats so far.
__________________
"May I be forgiven for the ills that I have done/Friends I have forsaken and strangers I have shunned/Sins I have committed, for which others had to pay/And I haven't met the whiskey that can wash those stains away."
-Brady's Leap, "Wash."
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