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DOCS MAKE ARM OUT OF AMAZING MOM'S FROZEN BUNDLE OF NEWSPAPERS!
PREACHER BEATS ANY CASTRATION CAPER
HORN-HATING ELEPHANT SHOT DEAD BY STUPID SAFECRACKERS
JILTED GAL WAS CHAINED TO BED, COPS SAY
VACATIONING COUPLE'S SHOW-AND-TELL IS A STASH OF PRAYING DOLLS