This page automatically generates tabloid headlines, patterned after the classic Weekly World News of the 1980s and 1990s.
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CONFUSED GRANDPA RESTORES A BOTTLE OF BOOZE TO MINT CONDITION!
FIENDISH FATHER'S BITE KILLS 83-YEAR-OLD BRIDE
THOSE TIPS TURN HEALTH FOOD FREAKS INTO JERKS
FUNERAL HOME WORKER CATCHES A LIVE GRENADE BUT CAN'T TURN LOOSE!
FLAMING FAIRY BRINGS CLOCK TO SCHOOL'S 'SHOW & TELL'