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CONFUSED GRANDPA KILLS HEFTY HOUSEWIFE WITH CAR KEY
GUNMAN KILLS HIMSELF WITH A WONDER SURGERY!
FLAMETHROWERS FROM AROUND THE WORLD PROVE A HERD OF ELEPHANTS RULE THE MONTH OF MARCH
DUMB NEWLYWEDS WAIT 14 YEARS TO MAKE WHOOPEE -- AND IT KILLS THEM!
FREEZE-DRIED POOCH'S TRAGIC DEATH SETS OFF BULLETPROOF DAD'S MANHUNT!