This page automatically generates tabloid headlines, patterned after the classic Weekly World News of the 1980s and 1990s.
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ARE ANGRY APES GETTING MEANER?
PET SHOP OWNER'S TOO FAT FOR COURTROOM
AFRICAN TRIBE HIJACK COOL LITTLE DUDE'S CAR!
LIVE GRENADE FOR SMOKERS -- EVERYBODY LIGHTS UP!
WOMAN COMES BACK TO LIFE!