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FAT LONELY LITTLE CROONER GETS FATTER
GAL BRINGS AIDS THREAT TO SCHOOL'S 'SHOW & TELL'
GUTSY MOM CAN'T STOP HAVING BABIES!
SCIENTISTS CONFIRM CRIPPLED HUSBAND TAPES VOICES FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE
CRIME-BUSTING PSYCHIC'S SECRET AGONY AND OUR NATION'S DUMBEST PRESIDENT!