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THEY TOOK AWAY MY FLAMETHROWERS -- BECAUSE I'M CRIPPLED
IRON CURTAIN ICE CUTIE RENTS BODY PARTS TO FASHION TOTS
LITTLE KIDS HUNT THIEF WHO BURIED PARKING FINES IN HIS BACKYARD
SPACE ALIEN'S PARENTS BEGGING FOR HANDOUTS
BEAU's LAST WISH: 'TAKE ME TO MEET MY MAKER -- IN MY DUMP TRUCK'